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Chapter 5

The Callowin Estate, North Coronet City

Taking a deep breath, Nejaa donned the black leather vest that covered a black tunic. He again wondered where he expected this to go. He tried to meditate on his feelings after leaving Ros at the headquarters, but everything came back to the same conclusion…

He was in love with Scerra.

And he was as much at a loss as he had been that morning after leaving her at her apartment.

After finishing buttoning the vest, he picked up his lightsaber from the dresser top. He looked down at the weapon, which was as much an icon, and debated whether to bring it along or not. It wasn't because he feared that he'd need a weapon with him, but he had decided to forgo his Jedi robes, but should he totally leave his only other identifying symbol behind? He tossed it into the air and effortlessly caught it in his right hand. Choosing to bring it along, he tucked it into his belt and thought about what it meant, not only to him, but to the galaxy he pledged his life to serve.

Suddenly, the door buzzer sounded and he turned away from the mirror over the dresser. His room was small, but comfortable for a Jedi. It had a bed, a computer station with communit, and a dresser. It had a single window that overlooked a flower garden in the enclosed courtyard below, and if he opened it, the fragrance of the lililak vines which climbed the stone walls would waif up to him. Attached was a basic refresher, and he had run of the communal kitchen below in the main level of the boarding house he often stayed at while in Coronet.

He opened the door and had his breath taken away. Scerra stood there dressed in a fitted, sleeveless aquamarine dress that stopped just above her knees and hugged her every curve. The bodice was a low rounded scoop of attached black silk that began at her left shoulder to gather at her right left shoulder where it was adorned with a large faux black and aquamarine Corellian lily. The silk then continued to flow down behind her. Her auburn hair was curled and held back on the right by a smaller lily. While upon her feet she wore high, strappy black sandals. She was absolutely beautiful and Nejaa couldn't help the feelings that over came him.

Of course, he didn't miss that she drank in his attire of all black with as much ardor. His dark hair was pulled back and tied with a leather tie, and his black trousers were tucked into knee high black boots. He wasn't dressed at the height of fashion, but he could sense the affect on Scerra which did little to quail his already raging forbidden emotions.

Finally, her green eyes, which only gleamed brighter from the color of the dress and possibly something less benign, met his and she smirked, "I know the Callowins aren't my favorite people, but I don't think they're dangerous."

As he stepped away from her to collect his cape from the bed, he grinned at her jest and said, "I don't know, Ros told me that I'd be wise to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can. And you did ask me to protect you from Brassly Callowin."

Before his conscious mind had a chance to check his heart, he stepped before her and took her into his arms. Her heals brought her almost to eye level with him, and he easily got lost in the mossy green depths of hers. Her arms encircled his neck and pulled him even closer.

In a smoky voice she responded, "That I did. My very own Jedi protector." Before he could draw back, she captured his lips and he quickly forgot everything else. He opened his lips as her tongue danced over his upper lip and she proceeded to slowly kiss him while his hands stoked her back over the satin of her dress.

She moaned and broke the kiss. Staring at him with passion darkened eyes, she softly said, "I suppose we had better be going."

As much as Nejaa would have preferred staying there, he knew it was wrong. Trying to rein in his desire, he grinned sheepishly and agreed, "I suppose." But he didn't release her; instead he stroked her lightly flushed cheek and whispered, "Sweet Force, you are tempting. How am I to resist?"

She openly gazed at him and evenly replied, "Why resist?"

Shaking his head, he finally drew away from her and chuckled. "I will tell you this, it's becoming harder and harder to do just that." His hand fell onto the lightsaber tucked familiarly in his belt and he was soundly reminded why he had to.

The moment shattered, Scerra smiled and held out her hand. "We don't want to be late. My mother would have a fit."

Taking her hand, he led her out the door, locking it behind him. "Well, we wouldn't want that. Not the best way to make a good first impression."

She looked at him, but didn't comment as she led him out to where her speeder was parked.

They arrived at the large single family home of older design in the lower portion of the posh section of the city known as North Coronet. It was in this area of wealthy business beings, professionals such as doctors, lawyers, engineers, and governmental leaders that Scerra's school was located, it was also where she had grown up. She had told him that Oswel Callowin was a well respected and much sought after lawyer, while his wife, Mazy, worked with her mother as an ship designer for Corellian Engineering.

And their home reflected the extent of their joint income. The house was a sturdy red brick with large windows that probably went from floor to ceiling. The upper story was encircled with a white railed balcony, which was supported by massive white columns. However, as Scerra drove her speeder up the curved drive, Nejaa's attention was drawn to a large fountain in the center of parking area. It appeared to be constructed from a single large piece of Corellian granite. The spot lighting brilliantly played over it, picking out the illuminating crystals that made up the lighter veins of the blood red stone, making it come alive in away the movement of water alone couldn't. Water spewed from the three mouths of a large mythical sea monster that was said to inhabit the deepest, darkest of Corellia's oceans as it appeared to be leaping from the red waves that made up the bowl to collect the water. All in all, it was a beautiful piece of art.

Scerra caught him looking at the fountain and smiled as she killed the repulsors of her speeder, setting it down easily on the pavement. "It's a lot deeper than it looks, trust me."

Looking back, he teasingly asked, "So, is that from where Ros so gallantly saved you after the brute Brassly dunked you?"

She laughed as she popped the hatches. "That's it. I've always hated that stupid monstrosity. Though, I'm not sure I'd ever call Ros Horn gallant, but, in my humble opinion, you've pegged Brassly."

They exited the speeder and he waited for her to come around to his side. There he took her hand again as he grinned and replied, "You know I've never met the man and already I dislike him."

She looked reproachingly at him as they made their way up the walk. "I didn't think Jedi could dislike anyone, just as they can't love anyone."

He laughed heartily and squeezed her hand. "Oh, Scerra Mallane, you are going to be the bane of me. I can see it already."

However, before she could respond, the front door slid open and a silver protocol droid greeted them. "Mistress Scerra, welcome! Why, Mistress Adelyn just commented on your tardiness. Please, come in and follow me." As they moved through the door, Nejaa and Scerra shared an amused glance at each other. Then the droid noticed Nejaa's lightsaber. "Oh, my, Master Jedi, I do not think weapons are needed in the Callowin household!"

They barely suppressed a laugh as she said, "I should hope not, but one never can know when a Jedi protector would be handy to have around."

"Pips, stop haggling my guests," a dusky voice sounded as she entered the receiving hall. As the protocol droid retreated a few steps, Nejaa looked up and was surprised when the mental image from her voice didn't quite match the woman coming toward them. She was petit and slender, dressed in an elegant rose colored pant suit that sported a floor length jacket of creamy white, trimmed at the collar and cuffs in the same rose of her pants and masculine tunic. Her grey streaked black hair was cut very short and her blue eyes burned with good-humor. "Scerra," she said happily as she embraced the younger woman, "I am so glad that you could make it. But, alas, your mother was wondering what was keeping you." Then her eyes came to rest on Nejaa and she smiled knowingly as she stepped back. "Ahh…but I think I can guess. Hello, I'm Mazy Callowin."

Scerra lightly blushed and Nejaa sorely hoped she didn't give them away; so, he quickly held out his hand to take the hostess's and bowed his head as per Jedi custom. "Nejaa Halcyon. Good evening, Madam Callowin, and thank you for graciously opening your home to me. Though, I was born on Corellia, I'm afraid I don't know many people in Coronet, at least, not whom I consider friends. Scerra has become a good friend and doesn't like hearing of me whiling away my hours in Jedi meditation."

She lightly laughed and said, "It's a pleasure to having you." Then she linked her arm around Nejaa's and the other around Scerra's. Leading them toward the salon, she added, "I'm sure you can tell us all some wonderful stories."

Scerra smiled at Mazy, then glanced at Nejaa as she replied, "Yes, I can vouch for that. I'm sure he would love to tell us about how he and Ros caught an art thief this very morning."

"That sounds absolutely fascinating, Master Halcyon."

Nejaa grinned and responded, "All in a days work, Mistress Callowin."

After entering the well appointed salon, Nejaa was struck by how much the older woman who moved toward them resembled Scerra. Her hair was longer and fell about her shoulders in curls, but it was the same vibrant auburn. She was dressed in a long, simple gown of pale yellow and Nejaa noticed that her eyes were the same jade color. Mazy let go of his and Scerra's arms and moved away and the other woman took Scerra in a short embrace and said, "I'm so glad that you decided to show. I was beginning to wonder."

"Hello, Mother. You know that I wouldn't fall back on my word."

Mazy ignored mother and daughter and announced to the others who were present in the room, drawing his attention from them as well. "This is Scerra's friend, Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon."

Nejaa inclined his head in a brief bow and smiled as his eyes came to rest on an older, distinguished man who came to stand beside Mazy. He held out his hand and they shook hands as he said, "Oswel Callowin, Esquire, it is a pleasure to finally meet one of our galaxy's 'Guardians of Light'. Welcome, Master Halcyon. When Scerra called to tell us she was bringing her Jedi friend, I was delighted."

Before Nejaa had a chance to respond, Scerra said as she hugged the older man warmly, "Nejaa was happy to come, Uncle Oswel." Then she turned to her mother and said to Nejaa, "This is my mother, Adelyn Mallane."

Nejaa smiled his best smile and greeted the mother of the woman he loved. "I've heard a great deal about you, Mrs. Mallane."

"Oh, I'm sure you have," she said as she smiled and shook his hand. "Scerra's opinions of me are well known. But I'm happy to finally meet Scerra's mysterious friend."

Nejaa fought the urge to glance at Scerra and instead smiled and assured, "Well, I can assure you I've heard nothing but good things. I was looking forward to finally meeting you too."

The evening turned out to be rather pleasant. Dinner was served shortly after their arrival and was a delicious fare of roasted nerf, delicately flavored vegetables and seasoned sweet tubers. It was then all topped off with a delectable dessert of chocolate cake, and all served with various fine wines and liquors. Nejaa told them what he could of his latest adventures and found a receptive audience in the family and friends gathered. Besides the older Callowins and the Mallanes, another couple was present who were partners with Oswel in the same law firm. Brassly was also present and was strategically placed beside Scerra. However, their apparent dislike for each other and constant rapier sharp comments that bounced between them was another source of amusement for everyone. All in all, the evening passed by quickly and was anything but dull. The food was wonderful, the wine free flowing and the conversation good, and by the end of the night, Nejaa felt completely content and happy to have come along.

Scerra hugged everyone good night and was instructed to come around for a visit and to not wait too long. Nejaa was surprised to receive the same send off. Once they were safely inside Scerra's speeder she turned to him and smiled. "You were the life of the party, do you realize that? Everyone loved you, including my mother."

He returned her grin, but his voice was serious as he said, "I enjoyed myself tonight. I like your friends, Scerra. They are good people who I think would do anything for you."

She gazed ahead as she moved the speeder down the drive. After a moment, she quietly agreed, "Yes, I've been blessed, I suppose." Then she looked at him and there was something profound there that, even in the dim light of the interior of the speeder, she couldn't hide. "In others, I've been cursed."

He felt her swirling emotions and realized that her last comment was directed at him and the impossibility of them ever being more than friends. "Scerra, I think we need to talk—about us."

"What's there to talk about?" she asked as she headed back toward the center of town. "You're a Jedi. I understand that, Nejaa. I saw how you quickly came to the rescue tonight every time someone suggested that there could be something more than friendship between us. What I can't understand is what that means for me."

Nejaa took a deep breath and let it out by saying, "Scerra…" But whatever else he was going to tell her was lost and turned to ashes in his mouth. This was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done.

Suddenly, she stopped the speeder and leaned over the control yoke. The silence stretched between them, then she straightened and looked at him with determination in her eyes. "Okay, Nejaa, we'll talk, but we're going back to my apartment. I probably won't be able to drive after you break my heart," she whispered, and Nejaa's own heart ached from the pain in the words.

They hadn't admitted their feelings toward each other, but he could feel her love for him as clearly as he felt his own for her, and it all served to make what he had to do more difficult.

She reentered the light traffic and headed toward the high-rise apartment district that was west of North Coronet. They traveled in silence, neither knowing what to say, and, yet, they both had volumes to tell each other. Scerra pulled her speeder into the garage and then led him to her apartment. Again they continued the brittle silence between them. Finally, they came to her door, she entered the code to open it, and he followed her in.

The lights came up, but she dimmed them back to a soft light that did nothing to soften the heaviness of Nejaa's heart. She turned to him and gestured toward the couch as she said, "Have a seat. I'll make us some caf."

After removing his cape and throwing it over the chair she had tossed her hand bag, he sat down heavily on the comfortable repulser couch, but he didn't feel its softness. His mind and heart were a jumble of conflicting emotions, but, as he listened to Scerra in the kitchen, one feeling above all else came rushing to him.

I can't break her heart. I love her too much.

Suddenly, a thump on the couch beside him caught his attention. He looked down and into a pair of sulfuric acid colored eyes that would have put the Sith from legend to shame. "Hello, there," he said as he reached over and scratched behind the spukamas' pointed ears. He meowed, proceeding to rub his head and body on Nejaa's arm. Nejaa smiled at the cat's antics and allowed him to hop into his lap where he circled around before settling down to begin purring.

"He likes you." Nejaa glanced up to find Scerra carrying two steaming mugs of caf. She sat down on the space vacated by her pet and handed Nejaa one of the cups. "I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of adding a bit of Whyren's Reserve."

Reaching over with her free hand, after Nejaa took the proffered mug, Scerra stroked the lump of humming black fur in his lap. "I've never seen Chuckles warm up to strangers so soon. Usually he's very anti-social when it comes to visitors, except those he knows."

She looked up from the pet, meeting his eyes. He held her gaze captive and said reverently, "It's the Force. Often animals can sense it in people and find comfort in it, even if the animal isn't really Force-sensitive."

She pulled her hand away and wrapped it around her hot mug. She took a long sip from it and then looked over at him. "What's going on with us, Nejaa?"

He patted the spukamas and said softly, "I don't know." Then he met her vibrant eyes again and added huskily, "I've never been in love before."

-x-

Scerra stared at him. The meaning of his words falling soundly on her as the liquid warmth from the whisky in her caf hit her stomach and spread through her. Or is it something else causing me to feel so warm all of a sudden?

"Do you mean that?" she whispered breathlessly.

Nejaa sat his untouched mug on the end table and in the sudden movement Chuckles mewed indignantly as he hopped off his lap. Turning to her again, he gently answered, "I've fallen in love with you, Scerra."

She sat her mug on the table beside her and then turned to take his hands. Smiling, she said, "I love you, too, Nejaa. I think I fell for you from the very first moment I laid eyes on you. You are so unlike any man I've ever known."

"But I shouldn't feel like this for you," Nejaa's voice broke at the end the statement. "But I can't stop it and I don't want to break your heart." He brushed his fingers along her jaw and wiped the tears that leaked from her eyes with his thumbs as he cupped her face. "It kills me to feel the pain it's causing you."

She trembled at his touch, making a decision that took her by complete surprise, but she had never been more sure of anything in her life, as she murmured, "Stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone."

He stared at her as he continued caressing her cheeks, drying her silent tears. "Scerra, I can't do that."

"Why not?" she asked in a stronger, more determined voice. "You, yourself, told me Jedi aren't required to be celibate. And I understand that our love is forbidden, that…that you can never truly belong to me." She brought her hands to his face and cupped it, relishing the slight roughness of his jaw. "But, as I also told you last night, I'm not asking for strings, Nejaa, I'm only asking for your love."

His voice was husky as he whispered, "I can't ask you to be my lover—my mistress, Scerra, you deserve more than that. You deserve a man who can commit totally to you."

"I don't care about commitment, Nejaa, I'm willing to be your lover, if it means having some small part of you," she affirmed and leaned in to wrap her arms around his neck. Her fingers pulled on the leather tie that bound his long hair, and as she let the string fall forgotten on the couch, she threaded her fingers through his thick, dark locks. She had discovered his long hair last night on the beach as they shared passionate kiss after passionate kiss. She knew he had pulled back then because his desire was running away from him as it had her. They hadn't spoke of it, but she knew that had they been anywhere other than a public beach they would have made love.

He let his hands roam down her long, slender neck and down until they grasped her firmly around the waist. As his lips connected with hers, he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. Not caring about the wrinkles being creased into her dress as it bunched up around her thighs, she straddled his legs and pressed herself against his hard torso. She let out a soft moan as his hungry tongue grazed her lips. She opened her mouth to him, and he quickly sought out her tongue. They dueled as she imagined two duelists would, until he sucked in her tongue into his mouth, holding it as much a captive as he did her heart.

She felt him tremble and she could feel the affect she was having over him as he pulled her even closer. She moaned again and finally he broke the amazing kiss. Her mind was a tornado of feelings and thoughts, but one thing feed the torrent, being her overwhelming desire. She threw back her neck and Nejaa quickly took the invitation. His hot mouth found her pulse at the side of her neck, and she thought she would melt as he caressed the racing beat with his lips and tongue.

"Oh…" she breathed as her hands found the hard muscle hidden under his tunic. His hands also seemed to have minds of their own as one roamed over her soft curves, while the other fund the zipper in the back of her dress. She felt it move downward ever so slowly. When it got to her waist, he slipped a hand under the fabric to lightly touch the satin skin of her back.

Again he was kissing her, causing her head to buzz and her heart to race as it never had before. She was no virgin, but she had never had a man affect her like he did. Before she comprehended what happened, her dress was pushed off her shoulders and the bodice bunched around her hips and waist as much as the skirt was. His lips moved down from hers, and she let her head drop back as he set her skin on fire with his feathery soft touch.

Finally, she had to have him; she had to touch him as he was her. She sat up, causing him to meet her gaze with dark, wanton eyes. "Nejaa…please…take me to bed. I need you…I love you."

He smiled wickedly and replied, "I think that is a wonderful idea." He held her tightly, and in a graceful move that she had never expected, he easily stood up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, crossing her ankles behind him.

She pointed toward the short hallway that lead to her bedroom as she said, "It's the first door on the left."

No other words were exchanged as he carried her through the great room of her apartment and through the door of her room. She commanded the lights to come on to their lowest setting. She wanted to make sure she could see this beautiful, strong man making love to her. He didn't stop until she felt herself being laid back onto her mattress. She watched him enthralled as he removed her sandals and then pulled the dress over her hips and off.

She suddenly became extremely aware of her state of undress as his eyes drank her in as she lay there clad only in her underwear. However, he immediately evened the score when his eyes finally met hers again. Before she had a chance to appreciate watching him undress, he was beside her with less on than she had.

Again his hands and lips claimed her body, and she thought she couldn't get enough of his toned, corded physique with her own, or enough of his warmth or musky scent. However, after leaving her breathless and on the edge of bliss, he covered her. He looked down into her eyes, his weight supported by one strong arm and he whispered, "Open your mind to me, my love."

"What—what do you mean?" she gasped as his free hand played over her again.

"Don't think about anything but us—about what you're feeling. Let me in willingly." He kissed her then as she did what he requested, and suddenly, she was overwhelmed by sensations and passions that she knew were not hers. She gasped loudly as she broke away from his hungry lips.

"Nejaa! Ohhh…" She had never experienced anything like it. She could almost see his thoughts, his wants, his fears. "Nejaa, what's happening?"

He leaned down and quieted her whimpering question with his kisses. Then he whispered in her hear, "I've allowed us to bond. I can feel your emotions just as acutely."

She gently pushed him away so that she could look into his face. "What do you mean?"

He smiled tenderly and used his non-supporting hand to touch her cheek gently. "We've bonded. It usually only happens anymore between Masters and Apprentices, and then only marginally, depending on the relationship between them. But in the ancient Order, when marriage was allowed, the deepest bonds happened between two people in love. And, with love as their link, bonding can even happen between a Jedi and a non-Force user. I wanted to share everything with you, Scerra." He paused for a moment and gazed deeply into her eyes. "I love you." Then he groaned and leaned down to kiss her again, but before he claimed her lips, he murmured, "Sweet Force, I want you."

And she freely gave to him everything she had.