CeresMcClure: Thanks!! I'm glad that you enjoyed it… Okay about the pace of their relationship…it is moving fast, but actually a little over a month of time has gone by in the story and they have seen a great deal of each other, only with Ros present. As for the bond, it was soon, but I meant it to be so. Nejaa wasn't really thinking at the moment, his heart was. I hope you will see that in the next chapter. Thanks again for reading and commenting.

Jade405: Thank you! I'm a huge Corran fan and I love exploring his kids. So, going back and exploring his grandparents has been fun, especially trying to make it fit in with the current canon. Thanks for reading and commenting…I hope you continue enjoying it.

Chapter 6

Scerra Mallane's Apartment

Awareness came slowly to him as he felt the soft warmth shift in his arms. A gentle sigh left her lips and feathered across his bare chest. Her small hand rested curled on his abdomen, while the crown of her head fit perfectly in the space under his chin, and her auburn hair a riot around her face. Instinctively, Nejaa tightened his hold on her. He had never in his life awakened with a woman still lying in his arms in the morning. He wasn't an innocent, but his experience certainly never had the emotional attachment love brings to it. He suddenly felt like a young man again, but, then, last night was like nothing he had ever experienced in his life.

She moaned again in her sleep as if she was beginning to awaken. He glanced at the chrono; it wasn't early, but he had no intention of letting her awaken yet, not after the night they had shared. Sweet Force, did we really make love that many times? he thought whimsically and smiled as he remembered. No, she needed all the sleep she could get. Force knows she didn't get much of it last night.

He gently smoothed her hair and touched the Force, sending her further into her dreams. She burrowed deeper into him and her soft snores tickled him. However, the amusement was replaced with reality. He sighed and continued stroking her silky hair. How am I ever going to walk away from you, Scerra? How am I ever going to continue being a Jedi after what we have between us?

He didn't have the answers to those questions. If anything, the answers were farther away from his grasp now than they had been earlier. But not only was he in love with the angel in his arms, he had bonded with her. He still didn't know what possessed him to do that. It just felt like the right thing to do. However, bonding with her made leaving her almost impossible. He could severe the bond, just as easily as he formed it, but to do so would cause them both pain, maybe not physical pain, but emotional pain.

He had to leave later to take the stolen painting back to Alderaan and then he would go to Coruscant to meet with the Jedi Council. He was dreading that meeting. He suspected someone would feel his bond with Scerra. He'd have to be careful to hide it under layers of shields, along with his love for her and his sudden fear of losing her.

He shifted enough to look down into her face. Is this fear why the Order forbids attachment? I could never lose you, Scerra. I know it would destroy me.

That was when he realized he couldn't ever walk away from her. She was now and forever part of his life, a part of his soul.

And that meant only one thing—

I have to leave the Order.

Amazingly, that thought, which had never occurred to him before, didn't frighten him. He wrapped her up in both arms, realizing that what did scare him more than anything else ever had was living his life without her.

"I don't want you to be my lover or my mistress, Scerra. I want you to be my wife," he whispered into her soft red hair.

-x-

Scerra awakened with a smile on her lips as the aromas of sausage met her. She opened her eyes to find Nejaa standing at the door of the bedroom, leaning against the frame with is arms crossed over his well toned chest, watching her. He was dressed in only his trousers from the night before, his dark, almost black, hair hung around his shoulders.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said with a grin.

She sat up and ran her hand through her mussed hair. She glanced at the chrono and nearly jumped out of bed. "11:00! How could you let sleep half the day away?"

He laughed; it was a low rumble that was sensual in of itself. Force, does the man really haven't any idea what he does to me?

He said lightly and with only a hint of male smugness, "I figured you'd appreciate me letting you sleep in."

She blushed, and pulled the sheet closer around her, but she didn't take her eyes from his as she challenged, "Well, what about you? Or don't Jedi need sleep?" Then she inquired, "I thought you were going to Alderaan today."

He pushed off the frame and moved into the room with the grace of a sandpanther. "I slept and then I meditated for a while. As for leaving, that can wait until tomorrow. You don't have school today and I wanted to spend the day with you." He came to stand beside her and she stood, forgetting about the sheet and wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes raked over her and he groaned low in his throat. Pulling her close, he kissed her passionately. Finally, he left her lips, and smiling lopsidedly, he said, "I think I should let you get dressed. Breakfast, or rather, lunch is almost ready."

"What if I want you for breakfast?" she grinned wickedly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Ummm…as much as that sounds…delicious…I think real food is called for. I know I'm starved." Then he grinned again with that male conceit of a man who knows he's well loved and loves well as he added, "I've had a busy night."

"That you did!" She laughed and pulled him down for another quick kiss. "I love you, Nejaa Halcyon."

"I love you." He kissed her forehead and she could feel his struggle not to give into his desire. Finally, he pulled away from her and smiled. "I think I definitely should let you get showered and dressed."

Suddenly, she exclaimed, "Chuckles! The poor boy is probably starving."

"I've taken care of him. He loves sausage and eggs, by the way. I found his food in the cabinet, but he didn't want it. So, I gave him what we're going to eat. He hasn't left my side since. I think he and I will become quite good friends."

She stared at him, beginning incredulously, "How did you know…" Nejaa only met her with a grin. Shaking the idea that he could read her cat's mind from her head, she said instead, "I hope he doesn't get sick. I never give him people food."

His dark eyes twinkled with mischief. "I did leave the spice off, of course; he didn't think he'd like that." She openly looked shocked and then she realized that he was teasing her. Her eyes narrowed, causing him to chuckle. He added, "As long as the food's bland, it won't harm him. Trust me."

She didn't look or sound convinced as she pulled shorts and a tank top from a drawer. "I hope you're right. Or, Master Jedi, you are cleaning up the mess," she declared and wagged a finger at him. "I can't believe I almost thought that you could read his mind!" He only laughed and left to return to the kitchen.

Then she heard a meow and Nejaa said between sniggers, "Yep, Chuckles, you and I are going to be great friends, aren't we?" The spukamas meowed again as if he was answering the question. She could almost hear the cat say yes, then realized that it was Nejaa in her head.

This whole bond thing was still new to her, but she had to admit she loved being so close to him. It went beyond just love and intimacy, and into a realm she could not even name, or could ever had fathomed before last night.

She laughed, shook her head and thought, Very funny. One thing is for sure: life with you will definitely be interesting.

You better believe it, my love.

As she pulled a tank top over her head, she came out into the dining area to find him setting plates laden with sausage and Corellian seasoned eggs. He stood and gestured to the simple fare. "It's not much, but you sure don't keep much in the place."

She ran her fingers through her damp hair and sat down. With a critical eye to the food before her, she said, "It's normally just me eating. So, no, I guess I don't keep much around."

He sat down and poured caf from a carafe into each of their mugs. She finally said, "I'm impressed actually. Does this taste as good as it smells?"

He shrugged and picked up his mug. "I'll be the first to admit my ability in the kitchen is pretty limited. If it isn't a ration bar, I'm mostly at a loss. But I can cook eggs and sausage, and a few other things," he added with a smile.

He took a sip of his caf as he intently watched her. She realized that he was waiting for her to eat first. She took the fork and took a bite of the eggs. Her eyes went wide from surprise.

"This is perfect! I was afraid that you'd make them too spicy. I know you like things hot enough to burn your tongue off."

He laughed, sat his mug down and picked up his fork. "I suppose I do like my food a bit on the hot side. I remember this one time my Padawan took a bite off my plate. He never did that again, that's for sure." They both laughed and then dug in and eat with relish.

After they finished, Scerra cleared their plates. She found him in the sitting area of the common room flipping through a holocube. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He had put his shirt back on before she came out of the bedroom, but he hadn't closed it. She slipped her hands over his hard abdomen and smiled against his back when she felt him shudder at her touch.

In a serious tone that took her aback, he said, "You look so much like your mother. But you have your father's nose and chin. No wonder you're so beautiful, you have good looking parents."

"Thanks," she knew she was blushing; she always blushed when he told her she was beautiful. "And who do you resemble? That is if you know."

He turned within her arms and cupped her face. Softly he replied, "I look a lot like my mother. At least, I have her eye and hair color. Though, my great-grandfather once told me before he died when I was a boy that he thought I looked like his father, who was also sired by a Halcyon Jedi," he added with a sly smile.

"Seems to me that you Halcyon Jedi don't like following the rules," she observed. Then with a wicked grin, she added, "Or, I could be cruder, but I think last night speaks for itself."

He chuckled, but to her it sounded weighed down, as if he had something on his mind. "I suppose you could say both situations are true. My Master used to tell me that I'd be the death of him because of my obstinacy."

"I think I'm beginning to see that."

Then he lost his smile and gazed deeply into her eyes. She thought he could see clear down into her soul. Then he spoke, the emotion she felt in his voice made her tingle. "Scerra, I love so much. You have become part of me." He caressed his thumbs over her cheeks. "I know we've only known each other for a little more than a month, but I swear I'll never want anyone but you." He gently kissed her eyes and whispered as she opened them again, "I hope our children have your eyes. You have such striking eyes. The color green is so clear and bright."

She gasped at his words. Her heart raced. She hadn't ever let herself think about having his children. She had convinced herself that he'd never want them. Quietly she stammered, "Nejaa…I…want us to have kids too, but how is that possible?"

He smiled as he silenced her by placing his fingertips on her mouth. "I won't be like my ancestors. I want my children to know I'm their father. I want them to be legitimate, not just acknowledged by me and given my name. I want to marry you, Scerra. When I go back to Coruscant I'm resigning from the Order. You mean everything to me and I can't live without you."

She felt the hot wetness on her cheeks before she realized she was crying. She wanted to say yes, she wanted him to stay with her forever. She wanted every day to be like today. She wanted him to be hers, and only hers. She would have lied to herself if she didn't admit that she wanted to marry him and had wanted to do so since realizing she loved him. She wanted as much of him as she could have. But she knew he wasn't, nor would he ever be totally hers. She felt him there with her and watched as his eyes narrowed slightly. He knew what she was thinking.

And that was why she couldn't agree to this.

"No, Nejaa," the words were soft and reedy. She felt his pain. Yes, she could feel his emotions. And it made her almost give in totally to him. She brought her hands up to his face and held him there before he could pull away. She pulled him down for a tender, reassuring, loving kiss.

"Scerra, I know you love me. I know you want to marry me as much as I do you. I don't understand…"

She kissed his lips again to stop his words. Then she said, "I do want to marry you. But I cannot let you leave the Jedi, Nejaa. I can't."

"But I have to resign if we are to marry."

She shook her head. "You would be miserable if you left the Jedi. You had told me the other night that I glow when I talk about teaching. That is how you are when you talk about the Jedi. Nejaa, do you think I don't know why you wore your lightsaber last night to Mazy's?" She paused but not long enough to allow him to answer. She caressed his temple, relishing the feel of the silky hair there. "You wanted reminded that you are a Jedi. That lightsaber is apart of you. The Force is apart of you. What would you possibly do if you leave the Jedi Order?"

He blinked and she realized that he hadn't thought about it beyond his decision to leave. She felt her heart ache, knowing that she would forever have to share him with the Jedi, but at least she would have him some of the time. But more importantly, he would be happy when he was with her. If he left all that he is for her, she feared he'd come to resent her. And that would be far more painful than sharing him ever could be.

"I could work for CorSec," he finally answered.

Her smile was brittle and she chided, "And what will happen the next time you decide to sneak into a home of someone to gather evidence, using Jedi tricks to get past the people living there?" At his look of surprise she added, "Oh, I know all about your little escapade the other day. Ros told me. You scared the hells out of him. He thought for sure his career would be over."

"By doing what I did, we solved the case in probably half the time it would have taken otherwise. We knew the painting was there."

"But you broke the law to get that evidence, Nejaa. But Jedi can do that. You, as a group, have always lived above the law, or bend it to fit your ideas." At his suddenly offended expression, she smiled and soothed the frown away with her fingers. "Please, don't take what I'm saying badly, for I don't mean it in that way. Yes, you solved the case. You may have even saved time and money in man-hours by doing what you did, you may have even saved lives, but that doesn't change the fact, if you had been a CorSec officer you would have been punished for what you did. Ros is actually lucky Yarlet Jenaves respects him so much, or he'd been in trouble for going along with you."

"I trusted the Force," he whispered.

She smiled and agreed, "Yes, that is what a Jedi does, but not the rest of us. Nejaa, asking you not to be a Jedi would be like taking your eyes from you. And I cannot let you do that for me. If I did, I wouldn't love as much as I do. You tell me that I mean everything to you, well, you mean as much to me. I do wish we could marry, but I'm willing to live as your lover. It doesn't matter to me, as long as you come to me when you can. I will have to share, that's all."

His eyes were filling with tears, but he blinked them away. She could feel his indecision, but she could also feel his love. It was so odd to be allowed to feel another's emotions and was surprised that he was sharing them with her, but she was glad too. Finally, he said, "I still want to marry you."

She felt her heart skip a beat and then hesitantly asked, "What if we married in secret?"

Her quiet question shocked him in its simplicity. "No one could ever know. It would bring censure to both of us if it ever got out. Only our closest and most trustworthy family and friends could ever know. Could you live like that?"

Her heart leapt because he didn't refute the idea out of hand. "And my being your lover would be any different? Nejaa, I know I told you that there wouldn't be any strings between us, but I think you know that is impossible now. I never dreamt that I could love someone as much as I do you. And this bond we have…It's like nothing I've ever experienced before. It is so wonderful. I trust you like I've never trusted anyone. It's almost like you are really my other half. Is that too ridiculous a concept? Considering a month and a half ago I wondered if I'd ever find someone to fall in love with? Then you walked up to my table at the Ranto. I know I fell in love with you then. I felt as if I was a magnet and you were a piece of durosteel."

She was breathless at the end and his kiss only made her more so. After breaking it, he said, "Then marry me, Scerra. To the Corellian Hells with the rest. I wish you would let me resign the Order, but I do understand what you mean. I will always be a Jedi. I can't change that. I would still follow the will of the Force no matter what. But if I'm ever assigned for long periods of time away from Corellia, I will leave. I will not live away from you. I can't do it."

She then slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a feverish kiss. Gasping, he chuckled as he pulled away, "Is that a yes, you'll become my wife?"

"Yes, Nejaa, I will become your wife." She smiled as she added, "I think we need to celebrate our engagement."

"Oh?"

"In secret, of course. And very privately."

"I like that plan." He wrapped his arms around her and she felt his hand go under her tank top, pushing it upward. He kissed her lips, and then her neck. Finally, he paused at her ear as he pulled her even closer. He whispered huskily, "I even think it may go on into the wee hours of the morning."

"Oh, that would be most definitely good," she said as she turned her head to allow him access to the spot behind her ear that she loved for him to nibble on. He began to comply and she managed to push his shirt off his shoulders when she heard the swish of the door, but she was too far gone in the sensations of his touch and the happiness between them to pay it any attention—

Until a shocked voice rang out as loudly in the room as a turboblaster from a warship. "Oh, shivit! I…I'm...I've been trying to call you two all day! Don't you ever answer your messages?"

Nejaa chuckled against her neck and looked up over her shoulder. "Hello, Ros. It's nice to see you, but you really need to learn to ring the bell. I'm sorry about the missed calls, but we've been too preoccupied to check our comlinks."

Scerra had never wanted the floor to swallow her up as badly as she did right now. Ros was still floundering like a fish out of water, and Nejaa was having far too much fun causing him more embarrassment. After a few more unintelligent sounds, Ros said, "What the kriff is going on?"

At that she lost it and leaned into Nejaa and laughed. Nejaa just deadpanned, "Exactly."

Scerra looked over her shoulder in time to see her best friend's face turn the brightest shade of red she had ever seen it precisely before he vanished through the door, closing it. She then heard the lock reset as Ros reentered the code to lock the door.

She looked up into Nejaa's laughing face and snickered. She should have been furious with him, but she was too amused by Ros's reaction and Nejaa's quick thinking banter. "That was horrid!"

"Serves him right for barging in here. Of course, if he'd been only a few moments later…"

She swatted him on his bare chest and declared, "Stop! I'm embarrassed enough as it is. Gods! How am I ever going to face him again?"

"You will." Suddenly, she found herself swept up into his arms. "But I think we should move this celebration into the bedroom."

She laughed as he carried her through the common room. "An excellent idea."