Chapter Three: Battles
Zelda watched as Link and Pit faced off against Marth and Ike in the team battles. Link and Pit were on the green team while Ike and Marth were on the blue team. "Let's see how your boyfriend does in this fight," Samus said. The bounty huntress was still stuck fighting in only her zero suit.
"Link will do fine," Zelda replied, brushing back a lock of her blond hair. The last fight Link had been in was against Samus in her full armor. He lost. The Hylian princess leaned forward in her seat anxiously.
"Hopefully this match will be much more interesting than their swordfights last year. A bunch of guys swinging metal blades gets old after a while. You need missiles and weapon upgrades to liven things up."
"Maybe you'd enjoy this matches more if you didn't sleep through them," Peach said. "Or maybe you just need a boyfriend fighting in a match."
Samus stared at Peach for a few moments in silence. "Do I look like the type of person who needs some knight in shining armor to rescue me from peril? No offense," she added when both princesses who were frequently being kidnapped turned to glare at her. "Honestly, I do not know why you make such a big deal about me being single."
"You're like twenty-three, right?" Peach asked. Samus nodded. "And you've never been kissed, correct?" Again Samus nodded, rolling her eyes. "So it's time you had a boyfriend. Do you want to grow old and live the rest of your life single?"
"That future sounds perfect," Samus said.
"Maybe you're just insecure. I can change that. All you need is some make-up and some clothes and…"
"Don't make me hurt you, Peach," Samus said. "If I wanted to attract boys, then I'd probably have a boyfriend. I could care less about any male here. They are all a pain in the…"
"Look the match is starting," Zelda said, interrupting Samus before she could finish. She gave both here friends a look that told them to stop talking until the end of the match.
Pit took to the skies, landing on the upper platform, while Link remained on the ground. Both fired arrows at Marth and Ike, hoping to stop or at least slow their opponents' advance. Ike, being new to the tournament, was temporarily slowed by the volley of arrows. However, Marth was used to moving under fire. Combining timed jumps and his shield, the blue-haired prince reached Ike with minimum damage.
With only one person firing arrows, Ike moved in. Pit split his bow into twin blades and parried Ike's attacks while Link and Marth exchanged blows. Marth moved into a series of swift attacks, forcing Link backwards. As soon as he had recovered, Link leapt up bomb in hand. He hurled it at Marth.
During his first few fights against Link, Marth had fallen victim to that attack. Now he was used to this counter and had correctly predicted it. He grabbed the bomb, throwing it straight above him, directly at Pit. The angel was struck by the explosion, and fell to the ground. Unfortunately for Pit, he was now extremely vulnerable. Marth leapt up into the air, utilizing his Dolphin Slash technique.
Ike and Marth were too busy taking advantage of Pit to notice that Link had found a cloaking device. The invisible swordsman caught both members of the blue team in his Spin Attack. Link then moved into several rapid attacks, catching both Marth and Ike off guard. Ike managed to back out of Link's range where he picked up a pokéball, tossing it at the invisible Link. A Ho-oh appeared on the battlefield.
Zelda gasped as Link and Pit were consumed in the fiery whirlwind. The two members of the green team went flying offstage. The green team may have been behind now, but they were both temporarily invincible, and Link had picked up a hammer. Both Marth and Ike tried to avoid Link's frenzied attacks. Ike was successful; Marth was not.
The fight continued in this fashion until Link, Ike, and Pit had only one life each. Marth still had two lives. A glowing sphere floated onto the stage – the Smash Ball. All four smashers noted its arrival and began a frantic rush towards it. Pit nearly reached it, only to fly straight into Marth's full charge. The angel, who had already received significant damage, was hurled offstage. Now Link had to hold off both Ike and Marth, but he had reached the Smash Ball.
The Hylian glowed in an iridescent aura. He ran forward, catching both Ike and Marth in his Triforce Slash. Light from the Triforce shot out from the back of his left hand, striking both swordsmen. They were both trapped by the Triforce, helpless against the succession of lightning-quick attacks Link launched. Both flew off the stage. Ike was finished, but Marth still had one life left…and zero damage.
Marth grabbed a home-run bat and began to chase Link all over the stage. Link knew that if he got anywhere close to Marth's range, he would be a goner. The Hylian managed to use his bow and bombs to inflict some damage on Marth, but not much. Nowhere near enough damage to send Marth flying even a few feet backwards. Being so attentive of each others' moves, neither swordsman realized that a bob-omb had appeared on the field. Left alone, it had begun walking straight towards the swordsmen. Marth chased Link towards the edge of the field. Link leapt over Marth, and began heading towards the middle of the stage. He saw the bob-omb and barely jumped over it. However, there was no chance of Marth dodging it. Maybe if Marth had been a few feet closer to the middle of the stage, he would have survived. But Marth was near the edge of the field, and as a result, he was ejected off the stage.
"The winner is the Green Team," the announcer said. (No one knew exactly who he was. There were theories, but no solid evidence.)
"Yes!" Zelda exclaimed, springing to her feet to cheer for Link. Samus and Peach smiled at their friend and joined in her applause. Mario walked over to the three girls.
"Hi Mario," Peach said flirtatiously.
The plumber blushed. "I hate to interrupt you ladies, but you have a match in fifteen minutes, Samus. It will be a team battle with five lives each. You'll be on the blue team."
"Fine with me," Samus said, grabbing her gun. "Who am I fighting with?"
"The newcomer, Solid Snake," Mario replied, slipping into Samus' seat next to Peach.
Samus sighed as she headed towards the blue team training room. Great, she thought. I get stuck with a newbie. Just my day. The blond huntress sighed and walked into the warm-up area. She proceeded to move through a few stretches before the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She casually turned around, pretending to stretch. Her blue eyes fell on a cardboard box which she was sure was not there a second ago. Adding to her suspicion were the words "Not Snake" written on one side.
"I know it's you, Snake," Samus said. Her cerulean eyes glared at him. "You can stop spying on me."
"This is not Snake," a falsetto voice said. "This is just your average cardboard box."
Samus walked up to Snake and kicked the box off him. The mercenary glared up at her. "Do not touch the box, lady," he said. He stood up, brushing dust off his blue combat uniform. The next moment he found himself staring at the ceiling.
"Do not call me lady ever again unless you want me to beat the crap out of you," Samus said. She turned around to start throwing a few punches and kicks at a sandbag suspended from the ceiling. She noticed Snake watching her out of the corner of her eyes. She threw a few more hard punches before turning to glare at him. "Do you mind?" she asked.
"What?" Snake innocently asked.
"I'd appreciate it if you stopped staring at me."
"I think you're just paranoid," Snake replied.
Samus glared at him for a second before diverting her attention to a screen on one of the walls. It showed the next match up. They would be fighting Ness and Lucas on the red team.
"Looks like we're facing the munchkins," Snake said.
Samus smiled. "They don't stand a chance."
--
"Well Ness and Lucas put up a good fight, but Snake and Samus still won. Snake was barely holding onto his last life while Samus was comfortable with two lives and minimal damage. Then again, Samus was one of the most elite fighters in Super Smash Bros. Halfway through the fight she had broken a Smash Ball, regaining her Power Suit.
"Not bad for a newb," Samus said after their battle was done.
"You did alright," Snake replied. "Although I figured you were strong after you somehow managed to send that Captain Falcon into a coma for three days just by hitting his helmeted head with your helmet. How hard did you throw that thing? Do you like have a personal vendetta against him?"
"No," Samus said. "I just don't like boys who try hitting on me. No one here is worth my time."
"Well maybe I could be worth your time," Snake said, putting on his best smile. He once again found himself staring at the ceiling.
"Nice try," Samus said, walking out of the room.
Snake stood up, brushing himself off. Well she didn't put me in a coma. I take it that's a good sign.
--
"I still say it was a cheap win," Marth told Link as they sat in a lounge with Ike, Pit, Kirby, and Meta Knight.
"You're just sore that I won and you lost," Link replied.
"There was no way you would have won. I had practically no damage, and you had a ton. You only won because I was hit with a bob-omb. You would have lost otherwise."
"Maybe, maybe not," Link said. "The point is I didn't. You're just jealous because I am the better fighter."
"Pride is a deadly sin," Pit commented.
"At least I didn't get creamed by a girl," Marth said.
"Care to repeat that, pretty boy?" a dangerously low voice asked.
"I didn't say anything, Samus," Marth said hastily.
"I heard you. Do you want to prove how tough you are?"
"Um, that's okay," Marth said. "I'll pass."
Samus glared at him before crashing into an armchair. "Nice fight Link."
"Thank you, Samus," Link said. "We all know Marth is a pathetic fighter."
"You are just jealous of my perfect looks," Marth replied.
"Vanity is also a deadly sin," Pit said.
"You two better be careful," Ike warned. "Karma will come back and hit both of you. My bet is you'll both end up in a serious accident, and Link will be paralyzed while Marth will be horribly disfigured."
"You have an awful imagination," Marth replied.
"I don't think the goddesses of Hyrule care much about pride and vanity," Link told Pit.
"Yes, they do," Pit replied. "I've worked for your goddesses. They're pretty nice, but they still see pride and vanity as deadly sins. Farore thinks you need to tone your pride down some."
"Have you worked for other goddesses?" Marth asked.
Pit shrugged. "A few."
"Have you worked for the goddesses of Tellius?" Ike asked.
"Wow," Samus said. "I don't think I've ever seen someone hit the fetal position that fast."
"Never again," Pit said, shuddering. "Ashera is like strict dictator to the max while Yune is a spoiled brat."
"They reverted to their original form of Ashunera," Ike replied.
Pit shuddered harder. "Great. Two terrors in one body."
"Poyo," Kirby said sympathetically.
"I can't believe we lost," Zelda said, entering the room with Peach. They both wore red team outfits.
"Who did you fight?" Link asked.
"Bowser and Ganondorf," Peach replied.
"Tough," Marth said.
"I almost got Ganondorf," Zelda said. "I was landing blow after blow on him as Sheik, but he got one good hit on me and well…"
Link nodded in understanding. When Zelda fought as Sheik, it didn't take much damage to send her flying off the field. She collapsed next to Link on the couch. He put an arm comfortingly around him. "You'll get them next time, Zel."
"Depends on who I'm fighting."
"Well if Link faces Samus next time, we all know what the result will be," Peach said.
Zelda laughed. "I do not see what is so funny," Link said.
"You have never beaten me," Samus said. "Ever since the original tournament, I've been kicking your ass."
"It's not ladylike for a woman to cuss," Zelda said.
"In case you haven't noticed, Zel, I ain't a lady. I am a highly trained bounty hunter."
Peach had just sat down when she suddenly jumped back up.
"Is something wrong?" Marth asked.
"I almost forgot. Marth and Sonic will be fighting in five minutes. I can't afford to miss this match. I just hope there will still be some seats left."
"That will be an exciting match," Link said, starting to stand up. He glanced over at Zelda. She smiled. "You can go. Just save me a seat, I have to take care of some things first."
"Thanks Zel," Link said with a smile. He rushed off to join Peach, Ike, Marth, Meta Knight, and Kirby.
"Hey Marth, is something bugging you?" Peach asked.
"It's nothing," the swordsman replied.
"Now we know something's wrong," Link said.
"It's Sheeda's birthday today," Marth replied after a minute.
"Who's Sheeda?" Ike asked.
"She's Marth's girlfriend," Link replied.
"Fiancée actually," Marth replied.
"That's so sweet," Peach said. "I didn't know you were engaged."
"So you popped the question to Sheeda and you didn't even bother telling us?" Link asked.
Marth shrugged.
"So Ike," Peach said. "Do you have a certain special someone."
"Not really," Ike replied hesitantly.
"Really?" Link asked. "I would think that someone like you would have a girlfriend."
"There is one girl I like," Ike said, "but it wouldn't work."
"Why not?"
"She's royalty; I'm not."
"Oh," Marth said quietly.
"Oh?" Link asked. "What is that supposed to mean. So what if the girl you like is royalty. Zelda is royalty and I'm not; we still date."
"And I like Mario even though he's just a plumber," Peach said. "If you like this girl you should tell her you love her."
Ike shrugged. "I don't think any of the nobility would allow me to marry a queen."
"That is where the difference between you and Ike is," Marth told Link. "Hyrule doesn't have a very prominent noble class. Aside from the royal family, your nobility are practically nonexistent."
Link shrugged. "Then I don't know what to tell you, Ike. I'm unaccustomed to dealing with nobility of any kind. I still think you should try." He glanced over his shoulder. "Okay, whoever is following us can come out."
Toon Link stepped out of the shadows. "I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't mean to spy on you. You're just so cool, and…"
Link smiled. "It's okay; you can come with us if you want."
"Really?" he asked, eyes wide.
"Sure," Link replied with a shrug. Toon Link leapt in the air with joy and followed Link down the corridor.