Thank you for your review: Yes this is very introspective and angsty which is more fitting with my style of writing. Melina was fun to create. She is very mature, but she still is only nine. Seha oh poor miss guided Seha. We will get to see more of her later in the story. But you may be surprised about the friendship between her and Jys.

Thanks everyone for reading. I hope that you enjoy... :-)

Chapter 7

Jysella ran onto the landing pad where Ben's ship had been docked just as the Morning Star lifted off its landing gear.

"Sithspit!" she cursed and immediately scanned the pad for a ship she could commandeer. Her eyes fell upon an old T-65 X-wing, which she used for training exercises, and immediately ran toward it. She keyed the lock and the canopy lifted open. After scurrying up the ladder and falling into the seat, she began the cold start sequence. She cursed again because without an astromech, it would take twice as long to get the ship into the air. Ben's ship was already several kilometers off, all that could be seen was the flashing of his running lights.

Her comm unit instantly came to life with a young male voice that hung in the balance between being an unbearable screech and a pleasing tenor. Unfortunately, when he tried to be authoritative it came out the former, "Trainer T-65 Delta, you have not filed the proper flight plan. You are not authorized to…"

She winced as his voice squeaked and she hit the mike, "Franq, I know you are only doing your job, but I have to catch that yacht."

"Master Horn?" Again she winced at the surprised emphasis he put on her name.

"Yes," she said as she and sighed when the engine indicators went from red to green. "Franq, did Knight Skywalker, file a flight plan?" she asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Emm…No, Master. He wouldn't even answer his comm. Major Kre'syk instructed to not push it with him and to just let him go."

The old X-wing lifted off the pavement and she turned the nose to the darkened sky. "Thanks. That's exactly what you are going to do now too." She then severed the connection.

Punching the engines, she raced after the blinking white and red lights of Ben's ship which was racing to get lost among the twinkling stars. She realized that she had to do something soon before Ben was able to exit the atmosphere and then the gravity of the planet. Desperate and angry she hit the comm.

"Control, this is Knight Horn."

"Yes, Master?" Franq answered.

"Send me the comm frequency for Skywalker's ship immediately."

"Sure, here it comes. Master Horn, why are you chasing him?"

She watched the indicator blink that the data was received and said, "To hopefully knock some sense into him. Horn, out."

Then she hailed Morning Star. After the third try without getting a response, Jys took a deep breath and tried to think calmly as the yacht broke from the pulling drag of atmosphere. She had to get closer and she had to find away to get him to acknowledge her.

She pushed the throttle at the same time she pulled the weapon's data for the trainer. The X-wing didn't really possess real weapons because the laser cannons and torpedo launchers had been removed and replaced with small ion cannons, which in a training scenario would be used to hit opponents and knocking them out of the game by briefly shutting down the power to the ship. However, since they were not at full power, the damage done to the targeted ship was benign. With a sneer she locked open her S-foils.

She was closing fast and as the targeting computer beeped, she s miled to see that she was finally in range of the ion cannons. Then she simply armed them and without a second thought, pushed the firing stud on her stick with her thumb. Immediately two blue rays shot forth from her S-foils.

However, Ben instantly rolled the yacht in a tight maneuver she was surprised a ship its size could make.

"What the hell are you doing, Horn?" she let the surprised glare she gave his evasive maneuver turn into a snicker. That accomplished exactly what she hoped it would.

"Stopping you from making the biggest mistake in your mynock infested life."

"It's a little late for that. Go back, Jysella," she could hear the pain in his voice.

However, that didn't stop her. "And let you destroy a little girl's life. I don't think so."

"Just let me go. She's better off never knowing me."

She shook her head as she watched Ben turn back toward the edge of the gravity well. She had to prevent him from entering hyperspace. She targeted him again and let loose with a dual blast, which he expected and twisted out of the converged beams' path. However, unlike the first time she had anticipated his move and followed though with her own change in position. Letting go of a second blast, she watched with great satisfaction as it fizzled over the silver hull of the Naboo yacht. The electronic surge rendered the ship virtually dead. All he would have for at least fifteen minutes would be auxiliary power for the life support and comm functions.

"Now, you kriffin' coward, you are going to sit here and listen to me," she didn't soften any of the venom. He was about to get a full dose of Jysella Horn and when she was through he'd wished he'd fallen into a pit of crystal snakes. "First and foremost, you need to realize what you've about done. Melina idolizes you, Ben. Like it or not, she has built this fantasy around you and she loves you. She has herself convinced that the reason you left her was so that you could go and help other people, to be the perfect Jedi. To her that is the ultimate sacrifice and she was willing to make it because you have become her hero."

"I'm no hero. Jys, she shouldn't idolize me."

"No kidding! But she does. Thanks to your parents and to Seha she does. We all know you've done pure evil, Ben. And even Mellie knows that, though she doesn't know exactly what you've done. The point is that she knows you aren't perfect but she has made you out to be perfect because to believe anything else breaks her heart. Because she can not understand why you vapin' left her as a baby. If she doesn't hold you on this hero worshiped, doing-the-ultimate-self-sacrifice pedestal, then the only other reason for why you left her, which she can come up with, is that you don't love her or want her."

"You know that isn't true," Ben pleaded.

"Do I?"

"I left her because it was what was best! It was because I love her! But she deserves a father like Boskett, not me. You are talking about sacrifices, let me tell you what my Sith sacrifice was going to be. My mother!" Jys couldn't help the startled gasp and Ben scoffed, "That's right. I had planned to attack my mother in that final battle in the Temple. You know the one, the one that I nearly killed your father in," he deridingly spat. "I had planned to kill her to achieve Mastery and then I planned to kill Krayt and name myself Emperor. How am I ever going to explain that to Mellina, Jysella? How do I explain to my beautiful daughter that her hero helped execute his uncle to get information about the Confederation and what the Imperial Remnant was planning? Or that I personally planned and conducted fifteen assassinations including, Dur Gejjen, co-Chief of State Niathal, Admiral Pelleaon and Wedge Antilles?

"Sure, she may know that I killed thousands of people. That I tortured to death hundreds of Confederation prisoners and even Jedi, but these are faceless numbers. They aren't people to a little girl. But I can't go on pretending that my evil was faceless. I don't want on Melina's pedestal, Jysella, but I can't face her when she removes me from it. So, yeah. I admit it. I am a coward."

Jysella was stunned and for a single heartbeat she was truly and utterly disgusted by the man across the void from her. Morning Star's systems began to come back on line and Ben began to turn toward the hyperspace vector. She realized tears were running down her face; she couldn't fail. She wiped at them and made sure the comm was still open and then she said, "Ben, let me tell you what your baby will think if you make this jump."

"Jysella, she'll be better off and so will the whole Jedi Order if I just disappear. Tell—tell her that I love her and tell Mom and Dad that I'm sorry."

"NO!" she screamed. "Ben, you don't get it, do you? Do you know what Melina asked me after you left? She asked me why you hate her. She will never understand why you left her this time. Her love will turn to hate, anger and self-doubt. She will never trust anyone again. Her mother and your parents won't be able to reach her. No one will, or if someone does it, more likely than not, won't be a good influence. And we all know where hate, anger and distrust can lead a person. You know that path better then any other Jedi alive, save for possibly Kyp Durron."

She held her breath and watched Ben's ship hang there on the edge of the Ossus gravity well. She really felt that it was more like a razor's edge for Ben. She could feel his pain, his self-loathing and fear and indecision. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity he abruptly turned the yacht and headed back toward the surface.

Once they landed, Ben lowered the ramp and called to Jys over the comm, his voice rough, "Come on board."

She clicked her comm in acknowledgment and in a few moments she stepped into Ben Skywalker's home. She looked around the surprisingly neat common room and reached out with her senses. She found him in the cockpit.

"Ben?" she gently asked when she entered the hatch and found him staring out the viewport. She swallowed hard when she saw his reflection in the transparasteel and saw the wet tracks his tears made down his cheeks. He didn't acknowledge her but she knew he needed someone right now. She slid into the co-pilot's chair and said, "I'm sorry. I had no idea…I just couldn't let you abandon her again."

He slowly turned and caught her gaze and held it captive and Jysella felt a jolt go through her. As she peered into his amazingly blue eyes, she realized she could see Ben's sad and broken soul. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to take his pain away.

He hoarsely said, "I don't know what to do, Jysella. Coming back here has been so hard. Memories that I've spent years and countless good deeds in burying are all coming back at the speed of light. I wake at night remembering the look on Uncle Han's face. I thought I had finally," he looked back up at the reflection in the viewport and took a deep breath, "I thought that I had finally come to terms with it. Then I saw Mom again and it all came back to me." He paused but Jys remained silent. She wondered if he had ever talked to anyone about any of this. "But it's not just what I did as a Sith I have to deal with. It's my marriage and my daughter," he looked back at her.

"I never wanted to hurt Seha. I never wanted to cheat on her. But I couldn't open up with her. Do you realize, right now you know more about what I did as a Sith than Seha ever did?"

"You never told her?" But she knew the answer before she even spoke the words or he shook his head.

"No. She only asked once and I told some but never all of it." He looked down at his folded hands and shook his head. "I was afraid that if she knew too much she would hate me and even though I didn't really love her, I needed her love." He lifted his haunted eyes back to hers and held them. "All she knows about are the faceless numbers. It was right before she became pregnant that I started to panic. She wanted the fa mily. I didn't and we fought more than once because she wanted a baby. She couldn't understand why I didn't. I was so afraid that any child that I fathered would follow in my footsteps. Our marriage began to fall apart and I think she was afraid of loosing me. My nightmares started becoming worse and I was really beginning to feel trapped. Then one night she seduced me and…" he shrugged and looked down.

"She became pregnant," Jys finished softly and suddenly she had a sickening feeling that Seha had tricked Ben.

As if he had read her thoughts, he looked up and shrugged again, "Whether or not Seha planned to become pregnant in spite of my wishes, I don't know. She never admitted to it and I never sensed any deceit from her. After my father talked to me about my own birth, how regardless of all the evil that I would later do neither he nor my mother ever regretted having me, and after I first felt Melina's tiny presence; I knew she would be okay."

"She's a wonderful child, Ben. I love her as if she was my own." This time Jys looked away and stared into her reflection. "Seha says I spoil her too much."

Ben gazed at her for a moment and then said, "You're very good with her. Thank you."

She turned back to him and weakly smiled, "You don't need to thank someone for doing a labor of love, Ben."

He nodded and said as he looked down at his hands again, "I meant for stopping me. What you said about Melina's feelings of abandonment and anger turning her to the Dark Side really scared me." He met her gaze again and Jys felt his overwhelming fear. "I can't ever let that happen."

She swallowed and reached over and laid her hand on top of his. He surprised her by taking it into his and holding on. "Ben, she will be okay as long as you are honest with her and don't try to hide. No, things won't be easy when you tell her about certain things. But you aren't that person any more, Ben. You have done good things; you have redeemed your life. Yes, there still are people out there that think you should have been executed for the crimes you've committed. Yes, the Jedi Order had suffered because Luke and the Council protected you, sighting Kyp Durron's redemption and every other one-time Dark Jedi's redemption, including his own and your grandfather's as proof that you could be reformed. That fully trained Force-users are not like regular criminals because of our connection to the Force.

"But through it all, Ben, you have out done everyone's expectations. Like it or not, many of the younger students do see you as a hero, as the type of Jedi they themselves want to aspire to become. Why do you think your father wants you to someday lead the Jedi? What you have to do is learn to face the demons in your past and realize that they do not reflect on who you are today, nor do they hold power over you now."

He swallowed hard and shook his head, "That is a lot harder to do then said."

"Of course it is. That's why you can't do it alone. Ben, I know your mother had mentioned a few weeks ago that it might be a good idea to talk to Kyp. I have to agree with her. And I think the sooner that you do it the better."

"But he's on Coruscant and isn't expected to come here for at least several months."

"Then you need to go to Coruscant."

"But what about Melina?" he asked worriedly. "I'm afraid that she might think that I'm leaving her again. I know she would have felt me trying to do so now."

Jysella thought about it for a long moment. He had a valid point. Mellie would not understand why Ben would want to go to Coruscant to talk to someone who could simply be commed. However, the subject wasn't something that could be discussed over the comlink. Ben really needed to talk to Kyp face to face and those reasons were not reasons Melina was ready to grasp yet.

Another moment of silence passed between them and then she smiled and looked at him as a plan came to her. "I will come with you," she announced.

Ben turned to look at her, "What?"

She turned slightly in the seat and realized Ben still was holding her hand. As if he suddenly realized it too, he reluctantly let go and Jys slowly pulled it back. "I haven't seen my parents in a long time. I can take a few weeks off and go with you. While you talk to Kyp, I can visit with my parents." Then as she remembered the memorial at the CSF Headquarters Memorial Park for Jard, she looked down and quietly added, "And visit with an old friend."

"Jys," when she didn't look at him immediately, he lifted her chin and she was amazed again by the candor she saw in Ben's eyes. "I will forever be in you debt. Thank you."

She smiled and pushed the memories of her dead lover away again, "That's what friends do. They prevent their friends from doing stupid things."

Ben grinned, "Then I'm afraid you will busy when it comes to me."

"Probably. But you're worth it, I think," she smirked, relieved that he could banter.

Suddenly, his eyes darken as he scanned her face and her eyes and she felt her pulse begin to race. She knew Ben was a playboy and she suspected he used sex as a means of comfort. His fingers became braver. From where he touched her chin he gently feathered the backs on her cheek, eliciting a shiver. She felt her own feelings of the loneliness she felt come rushing to the surface and that was when she realized whatever they did now would be so wrong on so many levels.

She abruptly stood up and Ben looked surprised and then slightly hurt. She didn't want to spoil their tenuous friendship; so, she forced a grin and said as nonchalantly as she could muster, "In your dreams, Skywalker."

He laughed and stood behind her as she turned away; some of the tension gone. "Isn't that what you mother used to tell your father?"

She glanced back at him, "So?"

He quirked an coppery eyebrow and suddenly Jys was struck with just how damned handsome Ben Skywalker really was, "Just stating the obvious." Then he moved past her and said, "Come on, let's go and find my daughter and let her know that I'm not going anywhere."

She sighed relief, "Now, finally, you're talking sense. And to think I only needed to use an ion cannon to beat it into you."

"That is amazing. Usually it takes a lot more than that. We Skywalkers are known to have thick skulls."

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