A/N thanks for reading our story. We have reviews REVIEWS! (Enters review fuelled bliss) um but just a heads up 1) this story is bout 1/2 done maybe less so its goings to be a long one. 2) In later chappters there is going to be lots of angst and some torture but dw, as we will make up for it by ridiculously large amount of smut and fluff. Ok then that's that. So sorry it's been a while since we updated we have been on hols.

Disclaimer: we don't own Naruto weeps and never will. Though we do own this sad little fanfic...

Also, love to loveslavender, KareNeko, Stepkhe23, and Ryu Earth for always reviewing us and making us jump around the room with happiness! And we KNOW that we have 20 alerts but not that many reviews for this chapter so please please please review us, as we really aren't above stalking your fan fiction accounts in order to get reviews and will love you forever! Please!

Ok so enjoy this chappie. And REVIEW!

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Iruka's world was over; Hedi was going to tell everyone. The feeling of his despair was crushing Iruka as he thought over the consequences of Hedi revealing his secret, especially if he used the fake accusations of how Iruka had gotten his position. He would surely be sacked from his job at the academy and everybody would look at him in disgust.

He knew he should have done something when Hedi was there in the room with him. Iruka was supposed to be clever, yet he could think of nothing to save himself, other than attacking him, which would have been downright crude, from the fate he was now doomed to. He hung his head dejectedly as he felt the hopelessness of his situation take hold.

--

Kakashi walked happily up to Iruka's apartment. Iruka could be so relieved that Hedi was not coming back and Kakashi was reasonably hopeful he would forgive Kakashi for treating him as he had, considering he was the reason that Iruka's problem had vanished. Although thinking about how he left Iruka emotionally splattered all over his apartment in tiny Chuunin bits (yes we know that line isn't ours thanks KareNeko) made Kakashi heart lurch with guilt. He should have come back, told him sooner rather than leaving Iruka alone, and panicked like that for so long. Still Kakashi was so grateful that he had been able to do something helpful to a man, that he cared about, although a small part of had enjoyed that power he had had over that vile man that had caused Iruka so much pain. He bounced enthusiastically to the door anticipating the possible reaction to his news.

--

There was a knock on the door and Iruka groaned loudly. The very last thing he wanted was company especially since he knew that it was a certain damned someone who had a habit of turning up at the worst moments. Even worst than that- maybe his secret was already out and this was someone coming to confront him! Oh, Kami his life really was truly awful...

Iruka contemplated getting up and answering it, but decided it was too much hassle and so sank further into his daze of self-pity.

A few moments later, there was a louder more persistent knock

'oh for fucks sake' moaned Iruka as he pulled himself up to see whoever it was that was so desperate to enter his house and hoping that whatever they were going to do him would be over soon so he could return to wallowing in pity.

He stumbled to the door and looked out. Before groaning even louder and asked while attempting his best death glare.

'What the hell do you want' he demanded (no he was not in the best of moods)

Kakashi's ecstatic mood disappeared state of his chunnin. He suddenly didn't know what to say.

'Iruka... um...' he started awkwardly.

'Oh just go away Kakashi-sensei' said Iruka 'I don't want to see you, ever, but especially not now'

'But...'

'No, just go away' Iruka felt the black feelings that he had been experiencing bottle up into massive frustration at Kakashi. it must be, at least partly, this man's fault that his life was ruined and yet he had the nerve to strut up to Iruka's door whenever he felt like it and tease and mock Iruka for fun. Did Kakashi have reason to be treating a fellow person like that for no good reason? No! Screamed Iruka's inner Sakura. Iruka was angry, scared and in a very, very bad mood- he wanted to throttle someone and that masked neck looked tempting...

Kakashi (bless his little cotton socks) decided to spit it out so Iruka would cheer up and stop trying to get rid of him "no Iruka-san I won't you see I have just had ,ahem, conversation with Hedi" Kakashi voice turned lower and bitter when he said this name.

However, Iruka however failed to notice this as his brain had just heard Kakashi, the man who would not stop teasing him about his past, say that he was talking to Hedi, the man who was using his past against him. You can hardly blame the stressed Iruka for jumping to the conclusion that him did.

"What the hell?! I should have expected this, I really should have. I mean yes, you're a respected shinobe from this village but really your worst than him!

I'd have thought that you weren't so desperate for money that you'd have to blackmail it off someone like me. Or maybe this isn't for the money. Likely as not you're just doing this for your sick twisted amusement!" Then to the overwrought Iruka's horror his voice stayed from angry, outrage to tearful, and just dumped teenage girl-esque. "I mean him I fully expected it from but you! Well you don't mind at all. I'm guessing you probably find this funny. As you've made it well and truly clear that you don't give a shit about me! Oh god this is just pathectic. I'm just pathetic. Get out before I have a nervous break down. Get out and have your fun ruining my life with that other bastard. It's all I deserve I suppose."

Iruka sniffed and slammed the door shut again and then sunk once more to the floor.

--

Kakashi's hair practically flopped with disappointment. He felt utterly awful, rejected and pathetic.

His former hopefulness was idiotic he realised. Of course, Iruka had thought he was in league with Hedi given his record of accomplishment about how he treated the poor man.

He had wanted to make everything all right for Iruka but had managed to screw things up so badly he doubted Iruka would ever talk to him again.

This thought gave Kakashi a stab of pain. What if Iruka hated him truly? The idea made Kakashi want to curl up in a little ball and die. Life without Iruka seemed paltry, boring and unbearable.

"Unbearable?" thought Kakashi. Hmm it had only been a few days (or weeks not sure change it) since he had found out Iruka's secret and this whole thing had started. Kakashi thought back to then, he remembered how it had all been a curiosity, an amusement to him. Even his rapidly developing feelings for Iruka had been regarded with nothing more than interest. Now he felt like he would rather die than see Iruka in more pain and if he could, he would reverse the situation so that he would have to suffer. He wondered at how the smallish brunette could warrant such strong reactions from him of such a short space of time.

Kakashi was about to enter an angst filled, over emotional, weepy moment (can you think of a better word?) about why he felt this way about Iruka when he realised that he was smarter than this and he already knew.

He'd read about it in so many stories and seen it so many times but he had never experienced it so hadn't recognised it instantly. But HELL he should have figured this out sooner, he was supposed to be a genius!

Kakashi would have giggled if his situation weren't so depressing. Because Kakashi now knew that he was head over heals in love with Iruka and the man probably hated him.

Kakashi began to think logically again...well what did he want? He surprised himself instead of just thinking "Iruka" he thought "For Iruka to be happy". So what would make Iruka happy?

Firstly, never seeing Hedi again, but Kakashi had already dealt with that, so what else? For Iruka to know that no one was going to find out about his past and that he was safe from it. Well that could be fixed with a simple note.

Other than that... Kakashi winced at this thought, as the other thing that would make Iruka happy would obviously be to never see Kakashi again. Well as much as he hated it, he could do that if it made Iruka happy.

Therefore, Kakashi vowed to just leave a note explaining things to Iruka and leaving him alone. You see hears the thing about Kakashi on most things his just a lazy ass who is always late and never gives a damn but on things he care's about, and I mean REALLY cares about, he will stop at nothing to make sure that that thing for person is ok.

In addition, for Kakashi, Iruka was now the most important thing in the universe and anything and everything must be done for him to be happy. Which not only meant staying away from Iruka but also making sure that no body, but no body, could ever hurt his precious Iruka ever again.

Kakashi stood plotting various ways and means of protecting Iruka and hurting those who hurt him until he looked up and saw that he was still standing outside Iruka's apartment and had been for several minutes. Well "no time like the present" he thought so he leapt and out the nearest window and went to find out if he could discreetly cut down Iruka's working hours.

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BETA COMMENT: Right well, there I was, offering to BETA this for her at 1:49 in the morning. I didn't realise what I was getting myself into. EVERY OTHER WORD IS A SPELLING MISTAKE. In a nice way.

Have fun reading the BETA version, thank god you didn't have to go through rows of mispelt words such a "espeshally". Love to all. Laysh x