Author's Note: I finally realised why it was so difficult to manoeuvre Scorpius to confess in a romantic way – it's not in his character. He's not a 'bleeding heart' by any stretch of the imagination, he's plain and sensible. Once I stopped trying to push the boundaries of his character the words came easily. So, drum roll please, then onto the main event!
Standing passively outside the Hospital Wing, Scorpius was deliberating. Inside, he could hear Lily and Albus talking and laughing, relief emanating from their every word. Three days had passed since her near-fatal encounter and she had just woken up from the dreamless sleep potion she had been placed under. Scorpius had spent those entire three days by her side, except for the couple of hours when the school matron had kicked him out to get some sleep, not that he had been able to while Lily was constantly on his mind.
Now that he had had time to think about things, Scorpius was of two minds. On one side, he felt absolutely furious, and he couldn't quite understand why. Perhaps he was angry with himself for not protecting Lily well enough. Maybe it was the unfamiliar territory of his newly-discovered feelings for her, or perhaps he was truly angry at her for not listening to him when he called out after her. Maybe he was scared about what becoming attached to her could mean, especially if he came close to losing her again. He wasn't sure.
On the other hand, one thing Scorpius was sure about was his feelings about her. He felt somewhat ashamed that it had almost taken her death to accept them, that he had continually pushed away even the slightest thought of that nature. Perhaps he was a colder person then than he was now. He was in love with her, he didn't doubt that now, but what was he going to do about it? Scorpius had no idea what her feelings were. And even if his feelings were returned, a million complications came to mind such as her family, and what would happen to his friendship with Albus, especially if things didn't work out.
Scorpius took a hesitant step forward. He wasn't going to venture inside, he just needed to look at her, see her up and about and know that she was alright, without being seen. Albus, however, caught sight of him in his peripheral vision a second before he moved out of the way.
"Albus, what are you looking at?" Lily questioned curiously, craning her neck toward the door as she sat cross-legged on her bed.
"Excuse me for a minute, will you?" Albus questioned in return, jogging to the door and catching Scorpius on his way to the stairs at the end of the corridor.
"Scorpius!" he called out, though not loud enough for Lily to hear. Scorpius froze mid-step and swivelled to face him. "You know, I don't understand you, Scorpius. You refuse to move from her side for over two days, then when they tell us the potion's wearing off you decide to go for a three hour walk. Now, as soon as she wakes up, you're skiving off."
"I'm not skiving," Scorpius said defensively. "I was just-"
"Sneaking off before she realises you're here? Yeah, I can see that,"
"I'm not, I just came to see if-"
"Lily! There's someone here to see you!" called out Albus before Scorpius could finish his sentence, with a grin somewhat reminiscent of the resident poltergeist spread across his face. Scorpius rolled his eyes as Albus clapped him on the shoulder with a knowing grin, then gave him a shove in the direction of the Hospital Wing, before leaving the corridor.
"Er, h-"
"Scorpius!"
Lily launched herself at him before he had even had the chance to say hello, quite possibly attempting to squeeze the life out of him as she embraced him tightly. For the first moment he was surprised at Lily being so open and willing to show her emotions, but then Scorpius returned the hug gently, suddenly conscious of the warmth of her body and the softness of her hair. He felt more nervous being around her than he had ever been before, finding himself unsure of how to behave; how was he going to tell her how he felt now?
When they broke apart he was slightly dazzled by the brilliant smile on her face, a sight that was rare and never before more than half-hearted. "Come on, come sit with me," said Lily, settling into a cross-legged position on the bed as he sat in the visitor's chair. "Victoire told me that if you hadn't brought me to the Hospital Wing so quick I might not be here today, so… looks like you saved me for a second time."
Scorpius cocked his head in confusion. "A second time? What are you-"
"You may think this is silly, but… when you found me that day, in the girl's bathroom. You saved me from… well, I don't know how much longer I could have kept my sanity if it was just me, alone with my memory. You could have just ignored what you saw, but you decided to help me. As trite as it sounds, you really did save me from myself," Lily explained, smiling. Scorpius rolled his eyes at her choice of words, but Lily knew he wasn't really poking fun at her. "But speaking of the memory… I told them. When James was here, I told him, and Albus. Neither of them wanted to see it, of course. They aren't ready for that yet… but I feel a lot better not being alone in the knowledge. I have you to thank for that, too,"
"But Lily, I didn't do that. You did – you found the strength to tell them."
"That might me true, but this all started with you, so… thankyou," Lily replied, still smiling brightly, a lot more cheery than she had been for the past six years; facing Callixtus and Lexi (these were their names, according to the Auror she helped to identify them), though neither duel had ended very successfully, had brought back some of her old spirit. If she were ever to meet Lexi again, she knew the outcome would be different, because she wouldn't allow herself to be defeated again.
"By the way, Victoire didn't say anything else to you, did she?" Scorpius questioned, hoping Victoire hadn't mentioned the way he had stroked her hair and kissed her hand. Albus was apparently aware of the fact, but if he decided to tell her about his feelings at all, Scorpius wanted it to come from him.
Lily smirked knowingly. "As a matter of fact she did,"
"Oh. Er-"
"Yes, what's this I hear about you carrying me up three flights of stairs?" she questioned, grinning.
Scorpius flushed slightly; it hadn't been what he had expected it to be, and for that he was thankful. He wanted to observe her reaction himself. "Oh, that. Yes, yes, I know, everyone asked why I didn't just conjure a stretcher. I know it was stupid, I just panicked, lost my head… Lily, I really thought you were dead."
"But I'm not, so you don't have to worry any more," she replied, smiling reassuringly. She leaned over to squeeze his hand, sending a pleasant jolt up his spine.
"I know, it's just, it's not a sight I want to see again. Promise me you won't do anything like that again, ever,"
"How could I? Callixtus is dead," Lily replied nonchalantly, attempting to appear as if she would never do something like looking for their enemies.
"Yes, but his sister isn't, and I suspect she and Traverse will be back sooner or later," Scorpius began.
"I still can't believe one of the ringleaders was in our scho-"
"If you thought I wouldn't notice you trying to change the subject, you thought wrong," Scorpius interjected, a slight smirk on his face as Lily rolled her eyes at being caught. "I know you quite well now, Lily, which is why I want you to promise me you won't go looking for revenge, alright? Trouble will probably come looking for you sooner or later, but until it does, promise me you'll lie low, alright?"
"Well, since there's no fooling you I suppose I have no other choice… I promise. But when did you come to know me so well?" she questioned jokingly, a small grin on her face. "You told me I was less predictable than most girls."
"Well, now that you've stopped having those violent mood swings…" he grinned jokingly, laughing as he remembered the events that had lead up to that conversation, which encompassed heated arguments and misunderstandings. One of them led Lily to slap him in the Entrance Hall, another of which was a screaming match which led to Scorpius telling Albus that he would never be able to love a person like Lily, a sentiment that had changed markedly.
"I've been able to get to know you a lot better. Not only, that, but… well, don't you think this whole experience has brought us… closer?" Scorpius' face reddened and when she did not immediately reply, he added in a mumble, "Er, maybe it was just me." He scratched the back of his neck, silently making a decision; he wouldn't tell her, not after the blank, somewhat confused stare she had given him. His stomach dropped slowly in sickening disappointment.
Lily shook her head, giggling lightly at the strained look on his flushed face. "No, no, of course it wasn't just you – forgive me, you just surprised me is all. I've never really heard you talk this way before."
Scorpius regained his composure – and a sense of hope – at this reply; his face lost its reddish tinge. "Well, we can talk more openly now – can't we?"
Lily frowned slightly. "I don't know, can we? I get the distinct feeling there's something you want to say, but for some reason feel you can't. Am I right?"
Scorpius had been staring awkwardly into his lap, but at this he looked up directly into those emerald eyes; apparently she too had grown to know him better, or perhaps he had become less adept at controlling his emotions in front of her. Scorpius heaved a sigh and looked away for a moment, a gesture that invariably confirmed her suspicions.
"You can tell me, you know," Lily encouraged softly, gently placing a hand on his; Scorpius inhaled sharply at the surprise of this, his breath momentarily caught in his throat. A fleeting look of confusion over his reaction graced Lily's features before she decided to continue on, slowly. "Whatever it is – if you think it will hurt me, enrage me, make me scared, make me cry… If you think I'll laugh at you, I promise not to. But please, tell me."
Scorpius inhaled deeply before starting, only just keeping an even voice as he attempted to control the broth of adrenaline, fear and anticipation being pumped around by his palpitating heart. "Have you ever watched one of those muggle romance movies? It never struck me until now, how very ridiculous they are. How can the hero never stop to think… how can he never stutter or waver as he attempts to relay the indescribable... and to a person with whom he feels nothing? I've been standing outside, agonising over what I would say to you, wondering why the words didn't come to me. But I think I understand. If I felt nothing, then I would need pretty words to hide behind, like they do in those movies. I wish I was a more articulate person, that I could find some kind of… unforgettable, world-shattering way to say this. But it's my nature to be blunt, even if it means using the biggest, plainest cliché in existence, and hoping that will be enough. Lily, I love you."
Author's Note: Oh, how I love cliffhangers. What will Lily's reaction be, and how will it all end up? Find out in the next and final chapter! BUT - I won't update until I get to 30 reviews. 24 people have this story on alert, 4 on favourites… surely 7 reviews isn't that much to ask?
