Hands up… please don't kil us I know we hant updated for months but there has been so much going on.. anyway we have beta-ed the whole fic so far and I wil be reposting shortly. Fear not we should have the next chappie posted by the end of this week, sorry if this is crap we wrote it in a bit of a rush so you wouldn't have to wait any longer, may also reupload this chapter-improved

Sorry again (you know if anyone was waiting for this)

Neoandtheangrywhite flag.

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Kakashi woke the next morning feeling like a spent force which wasn't a usual emotion for the powerful copy Nin. He had lost his control with Iruka again but this time he had actually managed to say and explain what he wanted. Too bad that reality prevailed and Iruka- Kakashi didn't want to continue that thought, his past happy love filled images of him and Iruka together were marred by the truth. This was that Iruka didn't like him let alone LOVE him and Kakashi was a fool, a clown for believing that it could have been otherwise.

He felt a weariness in his bones from the whole affair and wanted shot of it. He decided that keeping a tighter control of his feeling and perhaps immersing himself even more in his work and missions would be the answer. After all it was such a comparatively short time that Kakashi had been acting and feeling like this so it couldn't be that had to break free of. He tried repeating this idea in his mind hoping it would become true but it made he feel unbalanced and unhappy to think of dispensing of Iruka so quickly. Kakashi knew that it wouldn't really be possible to leave Iruka in the pathway of a cruel oncoming world. A person that special just couldn't be abandoned. To most people it might seem that our sexy jounin was being narcissistic and selfish in continuing to pursue Iruka when it was clear he didn't want it. But...

No, Kakashi knew that Iruka didn't want him and he wasn't going to anything to try and change that. But that didn't mean that he was going to let anything hurt the brunet EVER. So he was just going to have to be more careful in making sure he wasn't caught.

This idea at last gave him conviction and hope. A faraway anonymous protector would be all that he asked to be.

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Iruka woke up expecting to feel like hell. His brain was telling him that he had had another run in with his apparent silver hair harasser. But Iruka stomache was doing little flips of happiness and excitement and he felt light and care free.

Mentally he ran through what had happened last night (he seemed to be doing this a lot)

-He had had a shitty day. Check.

-The day went from bad to worse when he was called to Hokage's office and reprimanded. Check

-it all went down hill when he screamed at his boss. Check

-Stumbling out of said boss's office in tears. Check

-Seeing the person who was indirectly the cause of all his problems. Check

-Screaming at Kakashi (again). Check

-Kakashi calming telling him that he cared about Iruka and didn't want to ever to see him get hurt. Che- Then Iruka stomache deiced to do several happy flips at this point and his heart pounded in is chest.

"Now think Iruka" Iruka stood up and got out of bed. "This is very important" his thought berated him. "What else did Kakashi say to you?

Well..."don't you dare say that I don't give a damn about you", and "seeing your state deteriorate ....I've barely slept at all" and happily "I'm getting to the point were ill do pretty much anything to make you feel better"

hmmmmmmmmmm

Iruka felt himself beginning to grin and he got that tight bubbly feeling in his chest that was a mixture and anticipation and glee. And then Kakashi had said "as for the people who hurt you, well it's taking every once of self control I poses to keep myself from ripping them to shreds and hiding you away some were only I know about and not letting anybody hurt you every again" Iruka practically wiggled in his own excitement.

Ohhh! and then "'I will do absolutely anything you want me to'!! Iruka let out and small squeak of delight at the memory before flopping dramatically back onto his bed.

Then another line flouted into his head "I was never in league with Hedi and there is a reason that your story hasn't been uncovered yet..."

Oh shit! Went Irukas mind. Leaping up from the bed again he ran from his round with frantic movements and got quite far before he realised that he had no idea were he was going and no idea what he was going to do when he got there.

So he concentrated onto what he did know. Which was that judging from the bubbly feeling in his chest and stomache that the small ickle hateful crush he had had on Kakashi had been blown to epic proportions by that speech Kakashi had made last night. and judging from the then unrecongised expression of pure sincerity and frankness Kakashi had when he was claiming that he wasn't in league with Hedi and the split second look of heart break on his face after Iruka began to react to this speech, Kakashi probably, almost certainly, wasn't trying to blackmail mail him about his past. Thirdly it was possible, just possible that Kakashi, might, be just a little bit interested in Iruka, judging again from that speech. And fourthly and finally Iruka clearly hadn't thought of any of this at all last night as he had slammed the door in Kakashis face.

So, all in all, he really should still feel like shit. Except he didn't. As internally Iruka was jumping up and down and clapping his hands in delight in a very school girlish manner. He tried to calm himself down but couldn't. Despite the situation and circumstances, Iruka was amazingly gleeful.

It was a Saturday morning and he had nothing to and since he was far too weirdly happy to do grading he decided to try and read. "Kami" he thought "I haven't read anything in months" He thought and he went across his apartment to get his book. He picked it up sat down on a chair and found, to his surprise, a piece of folded paper there instead of his book mark. "Huh?" he thought as he unfolded it and began to read.

About 30 seconds later Iruka realised that he had stopped breathing.

The note was dated a few weeks back, in the middle of those confrontations he had had with Kakashi, just after he had last seen Hedi and accused Kakashi of collaborating with him. . It read:

Dear Iruka,

I would say this to your face but the last conversation we had ended badly and I don't think you want to speak to me; but I need you to know this: I never had and never will tell anyone about your past. It was unforgivable for me to tease you and make inappropriate comments about it as it's a truly horrendous thing to have to deal with. Hedi will not bother you ever again, I had a word with him after I saw him treat you that way and blackmail you and I really doubt he will ever even return to this village. I was not working with Hedi in any way but can totally understand how to would think that I was and words cannot describe how sorry it makes me that you had to go through that worry and fear. Hopefully you will get this note quickly so that your life can continue as normal.

From now on I will not bother you as I expect you never want to talk to me again. I feel truly horrified and remorseful at the way I treated you and I fully understand and accept if you never want to speak to me again.

Forever sorry

Kakashi.

Iruka didn't know weather to smile or cry. The letter would have saved him so much trouble and angst over the past few weeks if he had found it earlier but the sheer heart stopping and cuteness of it made Iruka feel all bubbly inside again. Combined with what Kakashi had said to him before Iruka was beginning to really hope that Kakashi might see him as more than a friend. And, oddly enough, this made Iruka all but giggle with glee.

He felt that he couldn't stay inside now, he was flying and buzzing and well living now so much for that. And so vented by going for a walk through the village and out the other side. Mentally he tried to put his life in order. It was a futile task, too many loose ends and unknowns. He wasn't sure how to feel or to think. Unsurprisingly there was only one person who could help him. And Iruka couldn't find it in himself not to overjoy at an excuse to see Kakashi again.

A/n Please review… and tell how to improve

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