A/N: So, I think this chapter will be better than I think the last one was. This is going to be part of the part where I try and bring in Mello's inferiority complex. It took me till about last week to finally get a good understanding of what an inferiority complex was (thank you Insanitoon!) and now that I DOOO know what it is… it screwed up my original idea. I don't know… I'm just going to wing it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters.

Chapter 5: I Was Nobody…

I didn't know where I was going, or where I was running to. My mind was a haze of confusion and pain that made me seek out an escape from the image I had just seen.

The city around me faded away; the people that probably starred at the strange running blonde boy all fell into an abyss. The only thing that registered was the violent image that burned my mind, and my feet hitting the pavement.

There was an emptiness that was slowly suffocating me that said I was on my own. I was alone with nowhere to go and no one to go to.

A child lost in the merciless world.

I could feel the tears burning at my eyes but I refused to let them fall; they'd only show my growing weakness.

It felt like I'd been running for hours and yet the image of my dead parents continued to assault my mind making my body shake with pain.

I knew that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be; this wasn't right in any sense. Parents were supposed to be there for their kids for years, and protect them. They weren't supposed to die and leave their children behind!

I despised them both at that moment for putting me in this sudden situation.

When I finally stopped I had made it back to the same church from the other night; the one with the priest that had let me talk to God.

Grey, ominous clouds looked overhead giving the cold stone and the dark stained glass an abandoned, and terrifying appearance. I didn't care enough to think that through and let it scare me; I forced my way up the steps and wrenched the wooden door open.

I stood in the entry way for only a moment before continuing my run into the open church and down the lines of pews. I was barely aware of the people scattered around that all turned to look at me.

The priest that I was looking for wasn't at the front of the church as I had thought he might.

Instead there was another man, an older man in deep royal red robes; it was a red that reminded me of the blood and furthered the gripping pain on my heart.

"Why do you dare run in the house of God, child?" He asked condescendingly, but I was too shaken to register it.

"I need… I need," my voice shook horribly. Now that I was stationary I could feel the wave of emotions I couldn't control and the confusion wash over me. "Father Vincent." I collapsed to my knees after I said his name.

The tears fell from my eyes and within the next moment I was sobbing; the sounds echoed off the high ceiling and reverberated around the room. My hands rose to clutch at my eyes and block out the image and the questions on my mind.

The tears burned my skin and the sobs ripped through my chest. I hated it. I hated being that weak in front of even this few of people. It was pathetic. But at the time, those thoughts barely even crossed my mind. I hated it but at the same time I didn't care.

I hadn't even heard the priest move from his spot, but the next thing I knew a side door was opening and the sound of those familiar clicking shoes on the tile came to my ears. I didn't even have time to look up before that familiar voice was beside me.

"Mihael?" Father Vincent started in a worried tone that was at my level. "What's wrong, son?"

Another sob ripped from my form as I struggled for words, "I… my…" I couldn't say anything more.

Father Vincent paused a moment, "here," I was still clutching at my eyes but his voice grew just a bit farther from me than it had been before; he was now standing in front of me. "Come with me, Mihael."

I'm not sure what was so persuasive in his voice, but ever so slowly I let my hands, which were wet from my tears, fall and my eyes drift up to him.

He was giving me a reassuring smile; that odd calming sensation that I had gotten the other night was once again overcoming me.

He offered me a hand up. I starred from it back to him time and again but despite my wariness he never faltered. His patience was certainly enviable.

Finally though I reached up and took his hand. He helped me up off the floor then led me towards the closed wooden door on the left wall. Just as we reached the door I quickly looked out at the people in the pews that had been a witness to my breakdown.

They were all still sitting there, confused and shocked expressions on their faces. A burning hatred grew in my middle as I observed their expressions. None of them had even bothered to move an inch, none bothered to see what was wrong with the child that had collapsed and sobbed right in front of them.

As I was led into the room and out of their starring eyes I couldn't help but feel hatred for them all.

Once I was stopped in a small living type area, Father Vincent motioned for me to take a seat, which I instantly did. Now that I was out of all those people's stares the pain from the recent images flooded me all over again.

"Tell me what's wrong, Mihael." The priest said.

I was hesitant, and my voice wavered every few words but somehow I got out the whole story to him. His face remained solid the entire time that I told the story.

I finally stopped when he finally spoke up, "Dear God… so you have no family left?" The words were painful to hear, but shaking my head in response was even more painful.

"Alright, it's a good thing you came here, son, I'll make sure everything is taken care of, stay here." He moved again and left into another room.

When I was alone there, with nowhere left to run and a victim to the images and all the thoughts that assaulted me I couldn't help but begin thinking into it.

The words of my story no longer sounded as normal to me as they always had been before. The kindness that this priest constantly seemed to show me, why did my parents never mimic such things?

Why did my parents lie and break their promises to me? Why would they leave me alone for hours on end in places that were the farthest thing from safe? Did they not care enough about what happened to me to give any concern?"

The thought of it all sent a cold, sick shiver up my spine and I instinctively brought my legs up close to me, part of me wished to escape from that reality that I had lived in.

I could barely believe how stupid I had been to believe that everything was fine; and normal with my family. I was stupid to believe that any of my family members had loved me. I was just the child that they couldn't use to make money and couldn't get rid of. Just baggage.

A silent tear slipped from my closed eye as I realized this.

But now… what was I now? I was nobody, with no reason.

I looked around the darker room I was in. There was a book case across from me stalked to the very top with books of all sizes; I could tell by the light grey layer of dust that they hadn't been pulled out for a while.

Normally, I would jump at the chance to go and read the words that were printed on the pages but now it felt as though everything had been drained out of me and nothing was left that was willing to get up and look at them.

But as my eyes stayed trained on the books, filled with what I was sure was so much knowledge something began to turn in my mind.

My parents, especially my mother, had to have lied to me.

There was no way they could have loved me in the slightest. If they did they wouldn't have gotten themselves killed, and even before that they would have never left me alone for hours at night. And most certainly, my mother would have never let my father hit me.

They must have hated me.

But now they were gone; I was now empty of all they had filled me up with in my eight years of life. What was going to fill me now, I realized, was going to be only what I let get to me.

I slowly began to realize that I could make my own rules and dictate my own actions now. At the time, I thought that adults would only do what my parents had done and I wasn't about to let that happen again.

In a way, seeing my parent's dead bodies had brought the realization that both life and death did exist, and that in a single moment it could all be taken from us. It was at that moment that I realized how little I really had at the moment.

I was smart enough to realize that I was an orphan now, with nothing at all, but if I didn't do anything about it I would never be remembered for anything at all. No one would ever know my name.

I had to be remembered, I had to be noticed and seen by someone or even everybody. I would be the best… as that man had explained to me, being the best was the only way to gain worth.

I wanted to be worth something.

Just then Father Vincent appeared once again through the door he had previously left from, bringing me out of my deep thoughts.

He came over to me once again; this time his eyes were softer and a reassuring smile crossed his face as he took a seat in a chair in front of me.

"Mihael," he said, "it's going to be alright now."

I said nothing, but in my mind I wanted to ask him how he could be so sure.

"I've contacted some people and they're going to come by here to get you. They're going to take you to a place that will watch over you until another family comes to adopt you." He stated bluntly, but at the time the physical features made the bluntness invisible.

At the time I was also smart enough to know that I was in no position to dictate what happened in my future. In the slightest, I needed a place to stay. But on the other hand I didn't want to risk the chance of falling back into the situation I had been in with my parents.

I simply nodded in understanding.

Once again Father Vincent stood up, but he stepped closer to me first. My blue eyes trailed up to him and I watched his actions.

His hands that were wrinkled with age moved up to the black beaded necklace that hung around his neck. Lifting it over his head he took it off, the cross that hung at the end spun around in the free.

Then he gently placed it over my neck; I looked down at the necklace that now hung around my neck, it looked to be too big for my small frame but before I could comment his words caught me and brought my attention back to him.

"The people coming to get you may end up taking you away from this city. Just remember that this will always keep you safe, and so long as you're wearing this God will be by you through anything."

His fingers trailed over my gold locks as he walked away and my eyes looked down at the new necklace that hung around my neck.

This was now my rosary… finally I owned something of my own.

A/N: So I liked how this chapter ended! I think it was cute!! Well next chapter will be the start of where Wammy's comes into play. I'm not too entirely sure how I'm going to do this but… hopefully I'll think of something. Any scenes you'd like to see would certainly be appreciated!

Please review!

-Forbiddensoul562