Disclaimer: I own very little within. Good DAY, sir!!!

Pssst. Guess what. That's not really Patrick's e-mail address. I made it up.

"I love the angry look in your eyes," Amy cooed to Sorel. "It's so adorable."

"Adorable?" Sorel grimaced, making it look like some sort of demented smile. "And tell me… what is adorable about it?"

Gerard stood off the side, arms crossed as he kept his eyes on the scene, seeming to have totally forgotten being called a yes-man. That or he was just mature enough to decide to move on, which is a possibility with him. Mikey was doing the same, but he was mostly focused on Amy. He looked at her with interest and a maybe a spark of admiration.

"It's so cute because it seems like just yesterday you were completely unable to defeat me when I would come over to one of my brother's mansions to make sure his gang wasn't falling apart. Oh, how I laughed at the hilarity of it all!" She covered her mouth and giggled at the memory. "Spanking you around those training rooms… which I adored, by the way… fine rooms for training, really, I could see why he picked them for that purpose… much as he didn't know how to pick out a rug he knew exactly what do with his rooms…"

Sorel swallowed hard and his scowl deepened. "It wasn't ANY fun for me! Do you KNOW what the punishment was for being defeated by you?!"

"I'm certain it would have something to do with coals."

Just as Sorel looked about ready to scream at her, when he opened his mouth he paused and calmed down for a moment. "Well… close… BUT NO! IT WAS THE BRANDS!"

Gerard bit his lip (not with his fangs; it would bleed) before speaking up. "I thought the brands were for losing in a fight against a lieutenant," The punishment he spoke of was more like a cruel trick; the lieutenants were such a high class because they were supposed to be the best The Baron could get out of the Dandies. Therefore, challenging them seemed like a one-way ticket to the torture chambers.

Sorel nodded to Gerard. "That was AFTER The Baron buried her alive."

Amy turned her attention to Gerard. "You seem to know a fair amount about this. So can you tell me what the punishment was for challenging the Big Bad Barony himself?"

Gerard held her gaze. "Well… laying hands on him would get you as many days in the boiler room for as many times you hit him…" He paused in thought, then grimaced, similar to the way Sorel did. "Wow, it's a good thing for that Pete guy that he didn't join. That would've sucked."

Sorel snickered at the thought.

Amy continued quizzing Gerard on something he probably never thought he'd be given a pop quiz on. "And what was the punishment for stealing?"

"I know this one!" Mikey exclaimed happily. "He'll chop off your hand and you'll have still have to work as hard while it grows back!"

"What about if you play the oboe?"

"Three days of Chinese water torture," Gerard said without missing a beat.

"What about-" Amy was interrupted as Sorel's sword went flying her way. But she put one of her trademark shields up just in time. "Oh! Getting me to talk a lot so I get distracted? Sneaky, deary, very sneaky. But you're going to have to do a lot better than that." She plucked the sword out of the shield, gave it a once-over, mumbled "Shiny," and tossed it aside. "Surely you don't need pretty little sword tricks to defeat me?"

"I most certainly do not," Sorel smiled sinisterly.

She turned around and was delighted to see a fair size tree. With a swift, hard whip of her dark energy, she knocked it down. "Tell me, Sorel. How has life been? What have you been doing with yourself?" she asked him as she began slicing the branches off.

He opened up a metal box attached to his chopper and pulled out a serrated kitchen knife. This box should have probably been used for food or medical supplies, but come on, be realistic. "I'm fine. I used to have a very nice spread of vampires by my side. We were such a nice little group. But that little boy band got rid of almost all of them and sent most of what was left running in soiled panties." On that note, he charged her.

"Oh, that Pete fellow?" She giggled. When Sorel reached her and swung the knife, she used another shield, but a small one. "A whole gang's worth? Maybe you just didn't train them right?"

He swung for her neck, but she created a black glove-like cover on her hand and grabbed the knife. "MOST of those men were formerly your brother's!" Sorel growled. "Besides, why are you here anyway, all hot and bothered by him? Him and his little tagalongs eventually spank you and sent you crawling away with your tail between your legs?"

When Sorel broke free and jumped away, she formed the fingers of her weird energy glove into claws. "Didn't we already go through this? Did we? Wait, I don't- oh, never mind…"

"You always were the ditzy one."

"Quiet, I'm trying to think! Anyway, the point is, no, I traumatized him, just like I did a few weeks ago."

Sorel darted backwards to get to the box of tricks again, tossing the serrated knife at Amy absentmindedly as he pulled out a cheese grater. "Wait, a few weeks ago? This is news to me."

"Yeah, I was traveling through that haggard old town Billy had such an infatuation for and I saw him there and decided to mess with him. Is that silver?" She pointed to the discarded knife.

"Yes. Most of what I have is. So you just mess with whoever you see?" He charged her again, cheese grater in one hand and random carving knife in the other.

She formed the same claw-like mutated glove over her other hand and met them with Sorel's weapons so they were face-to-face. "No. Though the idea brings me pleasure, I simply don't ever seem to have the time. That's the trouble with this country, rush, rush, rush-"

"Don't go off topic again!"

"Sorry. Anyway, my story goes like this…" Even though she spoke quickly, it was still odd that she fancied her and her ex-boyfriend with their hands locked and equipped with dangerous, sharp weapons to be a good time to tell a story. "I was walking by in that ghastly little wooded area, planning to visit my brother, in fact, within that week or two of my sojourn. And I hear a din, and peek out between some trees. And this young man I see on the ground, looking quite sick or injured, goes nearly FLYING past! When he lands, I realize he is bleeding heavily from the mouth and an open wound (which isn't really that important, it's just rather interesting) and that he is the boy my brother was planning on making his apprentice!" She paused when Sorel shoved her backwards. He charged her again, only to meet with yet another black shield. She opened up a little hole in it to scowl at Sorel.

He looked sheepish, but wasn't willing to stop pushing. "My bad, do continue."

"And I used the newly mastered illusion part of my power, which I was planning on flaunting in front of my brother, to create an almost silhouette like copy of my brother, The Baron! And I teased that Peter fellow with it. Oh, the look on his face…!" She covered her mouth and giggled at the thought.

Sorel smiled. "Well, that's nice, but how did you know that Peter was-"

"Connections," She replied. Amy and Sorel backed away from each other. "I can't reveal though. Sources are sacred. Why, the last time I did that, I-" Sorel threw the original serrated knife at her; at the last fraction of a second she created a shield. With an ear-hurting metallic pang it bounced off. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SILVER RAIN WAS THAT?!" She fanned her milk-white face with her hands as if a footless, rabid sewer rat was just tossed at her face.

The knife ricocheted right off the shield, away from Amy and Sorel and straight at Gerard's face.

Before Gerard had time to do anything but blink in surprise, Mikey grabbed his jacket and yanked him out of the way in the nick of time. Gerard just looked at him in surprise. Mikey met him with an equally shocked look for a few seconds before saying, "I never understood why in movies they push the person out of the way only to get hit themselves when they could just as easily yank."

Gerard nodded. "I do SO owe you,"

"Damn straight," Mikey smiled, obviously already knowing what to do with his I.O.U.

Gerard pretended to have not seen that and called out to Sorel. "Sir, can we join in now?"

"Well, normally I would say butt out, but you got attacked so it's your prerogative,"

"Should I use my new weapon?" A childlike look of enthusiasm danced across Mikey's eyes.

"Save it," Gerard answered. "You may need it later."

"Hey!" Amy said. "Three against one, Sorel? I wouldn't think you need help."

"I don't need it. I didn't ask for it. But it's not fair for at least Gerard to be prevented from attacking you; you're the one who threw a knife at his face." Sorel reached toward his motorcycle, grabbed a brown bottle of beer and took a swig.

"I didn't throw it, you-"

"I don't care!"

"You have no manners!" She put her hands on her hips. A black sheet of vibrating energy swept up around her feet and began to come over her body. "I'm leaving until you learn some manners. THEN you can show me your skills." When it covered her, it was still for a minute then slithered lightning-fast across the nearby trees and disappeared.

"Never mind," Sorel shouted to his soldiers, turning his attention to his beer.

"What do you want us to do?" Gerard asked.

"Happy hour in a minute, I'm gonna take a leak," He walked over to some trees.

When he was a good enough distance away not to hear, Mikey turned to Gerard and clasped his hands together like he was begging for his life (and seemed to think he was). "Okay. I.O.U. I'm taking it now." He whispered, but loudly.

"What?"

"Let's leave Sorel alone. Now. We don't have to take the motorcycles. Let's just run for it."

"No,"

"What do you mean NO? You owe me!" Mikey resisted the urge to stomp his foot.

Gerard glanced to Sorel's direction. "Not now. I tell you when I think it's safe. But just running away like a couple of ostriches is NOT a safe way to do it."

Mikey put on a stern face. It would have been more serious looking if he wasn't wearing beat-up tight black clothing and a chain as a belt; he looked fine by normal standards, but near Gerard and Sorel he looked a bit like he was trying too hard to look tough. "I saved your face. Literally. You owe me. And I this could save our lives."

"Too bad," Gerard picked up a bottle of beer near Sorel's chopper. "I'm your older brother. And I'm stronger. And I say no."

His mouth dropped, then he sulked. Taking a seat on his chopper. "I can't believe you just played the older brother card."

"Always hidden in my back pocket."

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To: 555bedussey

Subject: Found this in your wallet!!!

HEY MISTER PATRICK! ☺☺ ☺That's your name, right?? Guess who it is! (don't read more till you guess, kay?) It's Claire!!! Yeah I found your email address in your wallet! I'm so used to chatting with my friends and I'm trying to type with sentences and stuff but I'm not all that good at it, kay? I'm so used to texting. But I thought you would like that.

Anways, Pattycakes (your friend Joe said you love being called that ☺), I'm sending this to let you know that I saw your faces on a wall thingy a day after we parted ways (good literary term huh???) and you were all up for lotsa money. There was this guy there and in big sunglasses and he was talking to some guys in suits and he pointed to your faces and said "I'll get those heads" and they said "We hate em too" and then they all talked about how dead you and Joe and PeterPeterPumpkinEater (Joe said he loved being called that too) and Vegan Boy (Joe's really good with nickname ideas!!!) are.

Guess where I'm writing from!!! Did you guess yet? I stole a guy's laptop yesterday and I'm in one of those CYBERCAFES!!!!!! These are so cool!!!!! ☺ Plus I hope you don't mind, we borrowed about five hundred dollars or so from you. These lattes are expensive!!! But we'll pay you back very soon, don't worry, this wallet Braids just told this nice young cute guy she didn't have has SO MUCH!!!!!!

Byebye!! I'll write more soon!!

Love♥,

Claire ☺♥♀