Chorus
(Fifty five minutes later)
Nine forty in the middle of the night served no threat for Isabella Garcia, even after her family had finished unpacking from their trip to Tennessee. It was a fair place to have her celebrate her birthday in, seeing it was a place she and her family hadn't gone to in years.
One of her gifts was the series of Stephenie Meyer, who she found enjoyable to say the least.
Isabella was lying on her bed as she read "Breaking Dawn" to pass the night. It wasn't as fun as her other gifts, yet she wanted to be sure it was not to be the last thing she was going to enjoy. Save the best for last, that's something which didn't need to be countered upon when it was friendly and easy for anyone desiring an option.
Somewhere along the line, Isabella was expecting something tonight. A talk with someone who was going to explain something incorrigible as it was implausible. She didn't know why she had the feeling it was going to happen, but it just came to her.
The phone rang to add a tinge of surprise seconds later. This feeling was on the verge of mortifying as she picked up the phone. She felt prepared once knowing the person knew the ringing had come to an end. But Isabella was the first one to speak.
"Hello?" She asked.
"Isabella? It's me…" The voice replied. It took no more than half a second for Isabella to distinguish the acquaintance of the voice.
"Oh hi Jamie"
"Hey Bell, how's it been?" Jamie asked, pleasantly.
"It's been great, even ten times that if I think about it. I don't think I've had a happier birthday since my parents bought me that old Barbie dollhouse mansion I've kept cherry ever since" She replied, smiling more appreciably. Isabella turned to see her closet to cherish the memory.
"It turned out THAT good? Wow! What did they get you this year?" Jamie asked, nearly shocked as she really was.
"Well the one thing I really enjoyed was the new X-75 Howner bronze, a power drill that also works as an eggbeater and can grind the juice out of lemons! I've wanted that all year!" She replied, trying hard to contain the thrills within her head.
"Sweet! I thought they ran out of them like four months ago" Jamie said.
"They did, but along with the bicycle suited for my height even three years to come, my Parents decided to buy it months before" Replied Isabella. She was so optimistic about the thought.
"Sounds cool, overall, your stay in Tennessee was worth it" Jamie stated.
"It was. But just the way my parents gave it to me makes me feel sorry for them. Nobody else my age seems to car about their parents after they give them things they don't deserve, but I don't want to be one of them!" She said assertively.
"Wow, you really did find it fun then" Jamie said, after lingering for more than two seconds.
"My parents are the best a girl can have. Why else would I be happy?"
Isabella could have talked more about the same theme, given permission by her friend. Jamie seemed to have loitered past that situation.
"Well… I'm glad you had a good time" Jamie nearly failed to say.
Isabella was still happy, yet found it weird after detecting the insecurity within her friend's tone. Hopefully it didn't have to stray her out of happiness through secrecy.
"Yeah, so what's new with you? I was so wrapped up in my world I forgot to ask you the same question" Isabella asked.
"Well… It's fine… with me at least, but…" stammered Jamie. She wasn't going to get much from hoping Isabella hadn't heard the mild sigh she released. Thus, the worry wagon drove Isabella from vaguely happy to blatantly confused.
Both were unacquainted with the notice of the weather, in which rain began to pour at a growing rate. It made little difference if a storm wasn't accommodating to either of their moods.
"Seriously, you don't have to tell me, but as your friend, I'd be open to know if anything is wrong, girl" Isabella replied, not sternly, only assertively.
"There's nothing wrong, it's just…" Jamie paused.
It wasn't on the point of having Isabella mad; at least not after Jamie continued her words.
"…something really terrible I need to tell you, something you have to know" Jamie said.
Isabella was no longer happy, because she didn't care about something as trifling as that from the beginning.
"What? Did someone get hurt?" Asked Isabella.
In the middle of that discussion, someone knocked on the door hard enough for only someone as awake as Isabella to hear. Even though her parents went back to the airport to pick up some discounted luggage and trusted their daughter to wait at home.
"Hold on, Jamie, there's someone at the door" Said Isabella.
She placed the phone aside as she walked out of her room and downstairs to the door. What self-minded person would come in this weather? She thought.
After opening the door, her eyes widened. The feeling of startling disclosure caused her nerves to implicitly keep her not too startled by knowing who it was.
"Hey Isabella" Phineas said, his hair almost starting to drip with moisture.
"Phineas? Um, hi, it's been a while" Isabella replied. She was still nervous, from the mere idea Phineas was here, standing but a yard and a half away from her.
"So…how's it going?" Phineas asked. The despair in his tone couldn't have been anymore detectable.
Isabella was not a master of diplomacy, but this appeared as a serious case.
"I'd like to ask you that question too, Phineas. Is everything okay?" She asked.
Phineas folded his arms. Rarely did someone like him occupy a monotonous glare. He turned his head after a while before replying.
"I don't know anymore. All I can be sure about is that I can't be okay… Not without my sister" Phineas replied, quietly but something of stern beginning to come out, hearing this made Isabella almost want to gasp. It intimidated her even more to see Phineas' fists shudder after saying this.
"Why? What happened to her? Is she okay?"
Phineas' eyes closed very tight. The appearance of intolerable ache could be surging from his intuition in his attempt to look away.
How come I'm actually feeling this now? Phineas thought to the point of being surrounded by sham pressure maybe strong enough to awaken something, something within his judgment that he suddenly became aware of its existence when he stopped hiding.
Is it her?
"Are you okay, Phineas?" Isabella asked.
Her eyes. He thought. Do I have to lie? Do I have to become an outcast from this?
Now Phineas knew what had been going on. His denial had been trying to kill him through seemingly endless anxiety. His emotions could only remain present though that method, but it was up to him if he wanted to keep it growing inside.
"Phineas, it's raining, don't you want to come in…"
Nothing could be any less anticipated than this. Other than the speculation of his emotions' oddly fulfilled segregation, Isabella's sudden pause made him equally as concerned.
"…Phineas, are you crying?"
His head almost shot up when he heard it.
It had to stop.
"She's dead…MY SISTER'S DEAD!"
Never did she see it coming as Isabella was enfolded by his arms all of a sudden. Phineas felt more at ease now that his sentimental outlook was set free. Just like taking a midterms exam, it was going to last.
As for Isabella, unprepared was the way she felt from that instance, and to be fairly honest, shocked as well.
It wasn't simple for her to accept her absence of pity towards Candace alone, having known her fairly well. It was only the stature she was taking as of that moment which made her know how fragile the situation really was. Even worse, maybe this was what her friend was on the point of explaining to her.
Sympathy was easy to hold, but hard to express in the sense of how Isabella wanted to feel.
"I'm really sorry, Phineas. I don't think I'll ever feel your pain, like this" Said Isabella, gently stroking Phineas' head until he replied.
"I'm glad though, SNIFF, nobody deserves to feel that pain more than me. Not even my own family. Not even Candace for that SNIFF matter. Why would she die anyway?"
By now, Isabella could see it would take more than a cheap embrace to bring relieve into someone.
"Look, it's chilly; I think it will feel much easier if you come inside" Said Isabella, breaking the grip so she could look at him.
"SNIFF Fine" Said Phineas, wiping a few tears from his nose.
He was the farthest from reassured, but he couldn't blame it on anyone. Especially not Isabella, whom he didn't know found it a test in making him feel more comfortable. It was a somewhat large living room, even though its size was the last thing Phineas wanted to take interest in.
Isabella was the first to speak as she sat along with Phineas.
"Do you feel better?" Isabella asked compassionately.
Phineas wanted to say no. He didn't have to lie to her. That or he didn't have to stay on the same subject without actually changing it. But most of all, he just didn't want to sound blunt.
"I wish I was better"
Wish. This word lit up a spark of wakefulness between Isabella's exposures of recollection. Nevertheless was it in short supply, in order to make her forget about what she was trying to do.
"Phineas, I don't know how it feels to be in your situation, but at least let me say it's not your fault"
Phineas wiped his nose with the tissue Isabella gave him. She's just like my sister.
"I know it's not entirely my fault, but I still SNIFF need answers. My sister almost k-killed herself SNIFF before she turned into some un-nearthly seraph. Why w-would she leave my SNIFF family forever anyway?" Phineas replied, trying his best to keep the stuttering at a minimum.
"Well, I wouldn't blame her if she tried to end her life, even though I'd try to stop her anyway." Isabella added. She almost thought this wasn't what any right minded person would say. Until she heard Phineas continue.
"I don't think anyone would" Phineas began. By now, he had stopped stuttering from the waterworks.
"The day after my sister was taken to the hospital, she left behind a note for my Mom. In it, she wrote the words "Dear Mom, unlovingly, Candace", in the correct format though when she left behind this blank space."
It seemed startling enough for Isabella, imagining how his mother must have reacted to reading it. She could tell this next part wasn't going to be hard to explain for Phineas. Having left a pause that took five seconds to break.
"In that blank space she wrote this" said Phineas as he took out the same letter written by his own sister. Isabella went from confused to amazed when she saw Phineas take a special kind of flash light out, and illuminate over the enormous space between the only two visible phrases inside the letter. Words started becoming visible in an unaccountable way of seeing it. Phineas began reading them once they were there to see.
"I'm tired of wasting my goddamn life trying to figure out how I'll improve in remaining happy for an entire day for once. I'm less normal than my fucking brothers when you think about it. None of us serve as a better role model, even if I was the goody two-shoes daughter you're trying to turn me into. Ever since you married that Lawrence bastard, nothing is the same. I feel like I didn't know you anymore. When you have a grudge against someone, it's much easier to forget about the good times we've shared as a family, the memories of how fun it was to stay a family. But most of all, the smile I don't remember having when I was a child. If growing up means giving up your inner child, your goddamn innocence, your center of all that was once proud, I don't want to have any part in this shitty play. I may be naïve, but the way I see it, there are people who don't have to be in worse shit than I am to know hell is nothing compared to this. When I die, Mother, please just forget about me. That way you can find a good fucking reason to regret managing to have read this part of the letter"
Isabella wasn't trying to look surprised as she was, even if she felt a cold chill and her stomach broaden abnormally once Phineas finished reading. But besides that, she found it annoying to hear Phineas say those kinds of words.
"Do you know why she wrote that section in glow pen?" asked Phineas.
Isabella shook her head, even though she almost had a hesitant idea. By now, this empathy routine was becoming more and more unworthy for Isabella's endeavor in going along with it.
"There might have been a trace of insecurity while my sister was writing it. She knew Ferb and I were the only ones who understood this kind of hidden calligraphy."
He stopped perhaps to think some more. Isabella found it weird for Phineas to have been able to switch moods even if they both never went past serious. Still, she knew deep down there was still part of him which remained sad, only when it flashed itself with perceptibility when he looked Isabella in the eyes.
She was supposed to comprehend how serious these circumstances were for him. But she was just too susceptible when she looked into his eyes.
"I don't know what she was trying to tell me. All I know is that she preferred to have Ferb and I know this than my mother" Phineas said, putting both the flashlight and the letter inside his pocket.
Now this almost made Isabella want to react furiously. Phineas beat her to it when he finished his statement.
"Now that she died a Saint, I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm telling the truth whenever I start praying! If I can't blame it on God, who should I blame it on then if not myself or my family?"
The outrageous statement was enough to know when exactly Isabella knew how to handle this type of situation. Nothing felt as risky when it was for a moral cause.
"I think we both know the obvious answer, Phineas" Said Isabella.
Phineas returned a stunned glaze at Isabella. It was like saying "What?" but without the use of words.
"No one, Phineas, in fact, I think God did it for a good cause if he did send her to heaven. Think about it."
Phineas lingered his reply as he was less than positive. "Are you saying she was too holy for this world?"
"No, Phineas, what I'm saying was she had given up everything to be along side God's will, her personality, her sense of fashion. What do you think was left?" asked Isabella.
He was sure it was a rhetorical question, but it didn't sound like one when he replied.
"Her life?"
"Well… Yeah, she was just trying to teach everyone how good it was to follow the path of God. I know you really miss her, but we can both be sure she's in a better place" Isabella finished.
Phineas didn't feel sad anymore; he just felt a bit nervous after considering the talk in which death became the prime subject.
"But I feel weaker than before, Isabella. Is death easier than it appears now that my sister's in heaven? Does that mean I'll be next, or my mom or Dad, or Ferb?" He asked.
"Phineas, nobody is ever sure. All we can do is expect nothing. When our time comes, there's a chance we may know. And even if we don't, who cares? Death is like the apocalypse, it will come, but we'll never know when" Replied Isabella, with the belief she could get used to this.
Now this kind of news made Phineas smile a bit more. His optimism was slowly being mended by the motivation he was gaining from Isabella's explanation.
"You really think so?" Phineas asked.
As his emotional lesions began curing themselves, he began to see something new. This came the more he retained eye contact with Isabella. It was like a flower of joy slowly blooming within his soul. Planting hope that he thought was soon turning irreplaceable.
"Of course, Phineas, in fact, I'm sure that even though she's happier now, Candace misses you as much as you miss her." Isabella replied, moderately smiling.
The two held each other close as this could mean they now felt the same for each other. Whether it was eye to eye, empathy, or simple friendship, it was clearer now, even if Phineas was on the verge of confirming it.
"Thank you so much Isabella. You're the closest friend I've ever had" Said Phineas.
"I'm so glad you feel better and that you consider me your friend" Isabella replied.
"What am I saying? You're more than a friend, there's no other way, I…"
Phineas hesitated. He was only human, meaning inducement could be either a bad thing or a good thing depending on how the truth would be taken. It was the power of newly-formed integrity between him and Isabella which gave Phineas the strength to let it all out.
"…I love you"
Phineas honestly knew what it was he was trying to say. He could admit he wasn't completely prepared to understand what it meant for him to say such a word.
But Isabella understood exactly why Phineas had said that, even when it wasn't for a normal cause.
All this brought her back to her eleventh birthday.
"Happy birthday, dear Isabella, happy birthday to you" Her entire family sang.
"All right, dear, now make a wish and blow out the candles" Said her mother.
Isabella grinned deeply and trembled with bliss as she looked at the candles. So many wishes were there for her to reach, but only one she really wanted the most.
Never had she sworn to God before. Especially when she claimed she'd give it up whether or not it was conceded. Her persistence had become a threat to whomever it was which controlled the spectrum of luck. Now she saw this as a consequence heading her way.
Isabella's smile waned in a slower pace the deeper she thought into it.
"I wish…" She thought.
She shouldn't have rushed right away. For the past three years, it's always been the same aspiration until she finally chose to surrender pompously. Those last six words, which now became an epitome of cruel paradox, caused a bomb of anxiety to go off in her conscience.
"…I wish Phineas would love me"
Isabella blew all the candles out the hardest she could.
She was stuck in a remorse trip from the past. Almost on the verge of figuring out why it could have happened, only if she had not noticed the rain stopped dripping. Plus the scheme of which she and Phineas were still together.
Her façade could take it from here.
"Aw thanks Phineas, I love you too, you know that" She replied, somehow paying no attention if it was the right way of responding for her, even if it was enough for the both of them to look at each other again.
"Well, I'm sure I've horrified my family enough into a coma when they start looking for me" Said a lighthearted Phineas.
"Oh, that's right. Well… I guess we'll talk more tomorrow" She replied.
It wasn't raining anymore, so this worked out as Phineas walked towards the door.
"Bye Isabella" Phineas said, before closing the door on his way out.
"Bye…" Isabella replied, even if she knew it might not have been enough for him to hear.
Now she was alone again. Inside her room, left to think about all that could have transpired. Isabella sat down on her bed to acquire assuage wile she tried. She understood what had really happened, although she tried to sway it away with denial. In reality, everything happened for a reason without any uncanny flukes. Even when those flukes could only be unravelled by one person:
The way she saw it, all of this meant it was her fault.
Candace supposedly could've died for Isabella's theory. She could have been destined to pass away so that hardship was recommendable for anyone who knew how to take the blame.
Or, destiny could have aided Isabella in granting her stupid wish. Meaning this had all been a setup from the beginning.
"What have I done? I killed her!" shouted Isabella.
She didn't have to cry, but it happened likewise. All along, this was set up by someone to be sure she had known what would happen once her wish was granted without any compunction for her actions. Of course she had only been nine to eleven years of age when constantly having made that wish. But she didn't grow out of it until now.
Her wish had been granted, now it seemed Phineas and her were destined to be as one forever. Now Phineas felt the same way about her as she always did for him. If only Isabella hadn't hoped Phineas saw her as someone special. She wasn't anymore special than a kindergarten friend who would move days to come, leaving behind nothing special except the dim acquaintance of his existence.
Isabella would do nothing except weep almost inaudibly until her parents came inside. Just when this could have been true, she takes a look at her cupboard.
The phone was still not hung up. Clearly her friend would have cut her off by now, so Isabella pointlessly took it to her ear. She couldn't have been any more wrong.
"Hello? Bell" Jamie asked.
She was still there. Isabella quickly tried to seem strong within her willpower to cease crying.
"Hey Jamie, sorry I took so long" Replied Isabella.
There wasn't a need for detail within the explanation Isabella was trying to share. Her guilt trip would have to be postponed once she had the time. Better yet, the simple fact her friend chose to continue whatever form of gossip with her made her believe there was no such thing.
Her friend could have left her alone for ignoring her after nine minutes. But just as Isabella returned, Jamie returned to her as well. Bringing up a new reason to hope all could go well, now that Isabella knew how limits worked unless it came down to trust.
Maybe I'm not so selfish after all Isabella thought at least not anymore.
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That's it, seriously. I have nothing else to offer. So please, even though I appreciate you people reading it, there's no real purpose in believeing I'll write anymore, okay? Thank you!