A/N: Wow I am so sorry that this story has been delayed so much and that updates haven't been happening as quick. I've gotten so involved with my new stories that this one and Wherever It May Take Us have taken backseat. I'm going to try and write more for this one so I can post faster. I'm sorry again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters in this story.

Chapter 11: I Remember Watching Him…

The days that followed Near's first visit to Roger's office were the ones that we really brought Near and I closer together. Though, that really is a bit harder to say seeing as Near never spoke a word… it was always me who was around him, and who talked to him, who really gave a shit about him.

He would just sit in the common room, playing with his robots.

I would lie in front of him and watch him for God only knows how long. The entire time I couldn't help but wonder what kind of thing he was playing out in his mind.

I knew even when he didn't speak that his mind was amazing. I could just tell by the things he did; his actions, however small they were, always spoke for him, even if I was the only one who really heard those silent words.

I think I was hell-bent on trying to get him to speak though. I know I wanted to hear what his voice was like.

I would talk to him quite often though. I told him about Wammy's, and about Matt. When I walked with him in the halls I would tell him who to be around and who to avoid. I'd tell him about soccer games that I played in, since he never went outside. I'd tell him anything.

It was like he was just an open ear… willing to take in anything I had to say, no matter how insignificant it was. He was the only one who was like that, too.

Sure, Matt was there to listen sometimes, but it wasn't the same as Near. Matt spoke back, and gave me his opinion. Near just listened. And if he minded at all, he didn't show it to me.

I never minded that a first. I enjoyed being able to just… talk. To just… be, around him.

I never had to hide anything from him. Sometimes I would have to hide things from Matt, when I told him… more because I was a bit defensive than anything, but with Near… even if I went into the conversation knowing that I didn't want to tell him something… somehow the words just slipped from my lips.

And the entire time all he did was continue to play with his toys.

Every once and a while he would look at me, as though he had something to say, but would refrain from it. I only minded it sometimes, more when I was talking about controversial things than anything. Most of the time, though, it was those small glances my way that told me he was listening.

I remember watching him one day. It was just another day that I was letting pass me by. It was raining outside which meant we couldn't go outside, so I laid in the common room watching Near play in his own world; the entire time I wondered how he could do that every day.

And then, all of a sudden the thoughts began to flood into me as I'd never felt them before. I began to wonder why Near was the way he was.

He was incredibly pale, and thin, though not sickly thin. He had deep grey eyes that could tear into ones soul as I'd never witnessed before. He had the power to speak without any words at all. He could get anyone to tell him any secret just by waiting… and never speaking a word. He was an amazement to me that I couldn't help wonder about.

How did someone come to be like he was?

Me, being the outspoken person that I am, had to voice these questions. "Did you choose this?" I suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had befallen the room.

His actions stopped for only a moment so he could look up at me. There was absolutely no emotion in his eyes, but I could tell that, if he did talk, he would be asking me what I meant. After being around him so much I just understood those things.

"The way you are now… was it something you just… chose to do? Or did something happen to make you this way?" I wasn't expecting an answer… and when I realized this, I began to wonder why I was even asking him this.

He continued to watch me with those solid grey eyes that I could almost see myself in. Every few moments his eyes would twitch to examine different parts of me. I couldn't help wondering what it was he was thinking. What did he think of me?

After a moment it was evident that he wasn't going to say anything, so I spoke instead. "I tell you everything about me, Near. Except some things. I get it when I say that there are things you just can't say because it hurts. But the least you could do is tell me if that's the case or not." I explained.

He just continued to watch me; with those eyes that was reading my very soul.

"I wonder about you, you know." I said, quieter now.

He didn't say anything.

"I wonder about what you think. About why you do the things you do. About what happened to you. I wonder about the stories you play out with those damn robots. Why the hell can't you just tell me something?"

I was getting frustrated… I knew it. If something didn't happen quickly, I wasn't sure what I would do to him. Something had to stop this. Something needed to happen.

I remember thinking to myself, 'Maybe something happened… maybe someone told him to be silent and he took it literally. Maybe he went through a traumatizing event. Or… maybe he's just not that much of a talker. Though… you'd think he'd at least say one word to me after all I'd told him.'

I rested my head on my folder arms, my eyes never leaving his. I continued to wait… waiting for something, anything to happen from him. I wasn't expecting much… but I wanted even the smallest thing.

His eyes continued to stare into mine for another moment before he looked down. I'm not sure what it was about those small actions, but suddenly, I thought of something.

"You know what I think?" I said. "I think you're so silent, and so quiet, because you don't want to make an effect on others. I think it's that you don't want to make an impression on them. I think you feel you really don't have anything you need to prove to them anymore, or to even show them. I would even go as drastic as to say you've lost every will to even be."

His movements with his robots stopped after I spoke. His eyes continued to look down at the plastic figurines who were under his manipulation and I saw absolutely no falter in the eyes.

But I continued to watch… his actions said I had hit something. Even if it was small. My heart began to race in my chest… what was he going to do now?

Slowly, his eyes trailed up to meet mine again, there was definitely something there, but I couldn't place it, even to this day, for the life of me.

"You are correct." He suddenly said.

A/N: Wow that was such a short chapter. But I think it was pretty good, and showed a bit of the relationship they had before the complete competition. The next chapter will be particularly interesting too, so I guess that one won't take too long to get up. Anyway, more reviews entices quicker updates!

Please review!
-Forbiddensoul562