Disclaimer: I only own the content of this fic.
See? I updated faster this time! You must be so proud...
And no, there was no real purpose of the little Patrick-high-school-prom thing, just me being cruel. And looking back, sorry for picking a name so close to Joe's for the new character.
And if you don't know what a McMansion is... then... I dunno, ask me... it's not really that important... you can probably gather what it means if you take it apart and ponder it for a while...and if you don't know what The Stepford Wives is either, then... look it up or move on. Or ask me. Wow. That was a lot of rambling, wasn't it?
Pete, Joe, Andy, and Patrick stood in front of a large, white-painted iron gate. In the middle of it was a white kiosk with tinted windows. The time was 10 P.M., and they hoped the fact they must've seemed suspicious by coming in a city at ten at night wouldn't keep them out.
Pete stepped forward and tapped on the window of the kiosk. "Hey. We wanna come in." He was wearing a relatively tight-fitting mix of a hoodie with thin black-and-white stripes, black jeans, and black boots. Combined with his pale skin and black hair, he looked like an old black-and-white movie style version of himself a year or so ago.
The window rolled down. Instead of seeing a male cop who would've very likely been portly and middle-aged like Pete suspected, he was met by the face of a smiling young woman. She had a lot of makeup, a curtain of long blonde hair, and white vampire teeth. "One minute, please!" Then, with a quick look at the other three, she rolled the window back up.
Pete turned around and exchanged 'UH-what?' glances with the other three. But before he could say anything else, she opened the door on the side and stepped out in front of the gates as they opened up slowly. The girl was in good shape with athletic arms, bare under a frilly, white, lace-laden top. The rest of her outfit consisted dark jeans and light pink sequined flats. "Welcome! My name is Rachel! What brings you to our lovely town of Purity?"
Pete narrowed his eyes in suspicion. There was a lot he didn't like about Rachel. She WAS a vampire, she wore too much makeup on her cheeks, and he could tell without turning around that Patrick was uncomfortable just by hearing him shift. This was because the girl had an odd resemblance to a girl Patrick had known and had brief relations with in high school. The girl he was thinking of had played a cruel trick on Patrick; she was the popular girl who invited one of the outcast boys (Patrick in this case) to the prom, only for him to show up all dressed up and to find her in the arms of another boy. She laughed at him, as did everyone else there. The memory alone made poor Patrick blush.
"We've just come to… shop," Pete answered after studying her.
"How nice! I love to shop. Purity offers a wide variety of stores to fit all your desires. Top-notch designer boutiques can be found next to our grade-A cafés. In fact, our new coffeeshop, Buzz Fill, offers a unique menu that allows you to put infusions of special, imported ingredients tailored to fit vampiric health needs in your coffee-"
"Grocery stores?" Pete suddenly interrupted her. I didn't need your town's history, Little Miss Marketer.
"Of course! There are multiple organic food stores offering pesticide-free produce and our town is known across the state for the freshest free-range eggs available in our Whole Grain Supermarket!"
"…Okay…"
"Would you like a complimentary tour of the perfect vampire society?"
"Vampire society?" Patrick asked.
"Oh, yes!" Rachel lit up as she took out her cell phone and pressed buttons rapidly while keeping eye contact with Patrick, apparently sending a message at light speed. "But there's no reason to feel unsafe! We have constructed a foolproof way for vampires to live in a city all their own! The town has specialized ways to get sufficient energy supply for vampires." She put the phone away. "We believe that humans and vampires CAN live together in harmony, and we always welcome both vampires and humans into the city! Joel will explain the rest."
Almost out of nowhere appeared another person, this time a young man. "Welcome! My name is Joel! Would you like me to give you a tour of the city?"
Pete inspected him. He was at least six foot two, and a vampire. Short brown hair stuck up with gel, somehow cleanly cut stubble, and a blazer over a tie-less button-down and jeans. What the HELL is this? Messy prep? Tall?! Ew. Stay away. I dislike you. Pete crossed his arms over his chest. He was so busy holding contempt for Joel that he didn't notice that Joel had an outstretched hand waiting for him to shake for about six seconds now. Smiling wide, Joel turned to the other three and shook their hands instead. "Nice to meet you, I'm Joel, hi there! I'm Joel! AWESOME tattoos, I'm Joel…"
Pete, still facing Rachel with his arms crossed, listened to their conversations. Ew. Stay away from them. Pete desperately tried to send them telepathic messages about this Joel character. Distance. Distance. Distance. Now he sent them directly to Joel. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE YOU CREEPY-
"Ready to get going?" Joel managed to fit tons of enthusiasm into every word and the toothy smile was stuck on his face.
"Yyyyeah…" Pete followed him hesitantly into the city.
---
Rows of suburban houses lined the streets. White, multi-story McMansions. The front yards were a dull, winter green, and trees were bare, but the snow had melted. But the houses were more in the distance. Joel led the vigilantes on a walk on some odd strip of sidewalk between the suburban areas and the shopping centers. In the commercial centers there were plazas of identical white buildings with red roofs, many with either automatic sliding doors or a more unique door. Every store window everywhere was relatively the same, though. Depending on the store, they could have had vampiric old ladies and men coming and going, or maybe a parent with a couple kids, or some businessman or businesswoman with briefcases. There was an office building and restaurants of standard variations. A clothing store for an old ladies, a clothing store for little girls, a man's suit store, a fast food joint. It was as if it was a normal town, but everything was taking place at night.
Pete, meanwhile, wondered when he had fallen into The Stepford Wives. Surely there couldn't be this many vampires just living together, not killing each other over what appeared to be the only humans in the whole town (namely Patrick, Joe, and Andy). In fact, they didn't seem to notice, let alone care. Used to boarded-up buildings and the only other vampires they met in the night being hostile, Pete instinctively walked closer to the others in his group, trying to make them get a little tighter. Pete slowly walked closer to Joe, the closest one to him, as he tried to figure out a way to make them walk closer together and subtly exclude Joel from their little circle.
"Dude, personal space please!" Joe nudged Pete away. "What's your problem? You're being physically clingy. That's creepy for you." He reached out and felt Pete's forehead. "Do you have some kind of freak vampire disease?"
As Pete batted Joe's hand away angrily and darted at least ten feet away, Joel practically got a lightbulb over his head (he had been talking this entire time). "That reminds me! Did you know that this city has had a clean record for infectious disease for two years? The last person to break the record was a human visitor!" He laughed heartily. "It's a good thing you guys seem to be in great shape!"
Pete rolled his eyes, then put his hands in his hoodies' pockets as a blonde woman in her twenties and her brunette friend passed him with a burst of laughter as they swung shopping bags over their shoulders and their professionally bleached fangs gleamed in the moonlight. Pete felt something in his pocket and pulled it out – a little glass tube. Patrick had given one to him as well as Andy and Joe. It was in case they happened to come across a fifth vampiric blood source, they could store blood they got without needing Patrick to do it.
Andy came up beside Pete, which he was quite grateful for. "Man, this place is, you know, nice-looking… but it's creepy, don't you think?"
"No shit," Pete replied, looking at a woman rock a crying two-year old vampire boy.
"I mean, how do you think they're getting blood?" Andy rubbed his hands together to warm them, rolling up the sleeves of his long-sleeved black shirt.
Pete stared a well-lit school and figured that was where all the teenagers and kids were. "Dunno. Maybe they import it or something."
"How do they survive, though? I mean with bloodlust. Why don't they have it? Why aren't they attacking us? And how long do you think these vampiric kids have been, well, kids? It's kind of sick, isn't it?"
Pete fiddled with the miniature glass vial. "Maybe they're… used to it? Ask Patrick."
Andy seemed satisfied with this, especially the second half, which was often their answer to each others' questions.
They passed by a hotel (called the Clandestine Inn) while Joel narrated. "This is just one of our famous hotels, specialized to accommodate the needs of both humans and vampires! The pool and hot tub are open 24-7 and you can order a variety of blood types from our blood menu. And as for the wines… you'll have to see it to believe it!"
They passed a child of about four with his mother. The boy stuck his finger in his nose, smiled, and said, "I remember the Dire Straights when they were just becoming popular!"
Pete curled his lip in disgust and looked again at the little vial in his hand. He could see the pale color of his palm through it, reminding him that the emptiness of it signified that his cure was incomplete. His cure. Incomplete.
"And if you'll look to your immediate left you'll see The Bloody Owl, our town's famous diner! People flock from MILES just to get the eggs! Can you believe-"
"Hey, Joel…" Pete asked.
"-that simple eggs could do so much for business!" Joel finished before beginning to turn around to face Pete. "Yes, sir-" THWACK.
Pete punched him square in the nose and immediately swiped the vial under and held it for a few seconds to get the blood that ran out of his nose. "Thank you, Joel. That'll be all." He sealed it and handed it to Patrick.
Andy and Joe snickered. Then Andy let out a giggle, and they both cracked up.
Patrick didn't take the vial at first. His mouth dropped as he desperately tried to hold in his laughter. "Pete… that was… totally… un… called… for…"
Pete smiled and ignored Patrick's comment, crossing his arms and turning to look at Joel and wait for his reaction.
Joel was frozen. His smile was still plastered on his face the entire time, his eyes looking at nothing in particular. Finally, after ten seconds, he took out a monogrammed handkerchief and wiped his shirt and nose. "That's okaaay! Now if you'll just look up ahead a bit to the left, the big green building is the city's bank, established 1969!" His voice had doubled in volume, and didn't seem at all affected by the loss of blood or the fact that said blood now occupied his nasal passages.
---
After nearly an hour of touring and pointless facts about endless stores, the five men had circled around and reached the hotel again. It appeared to them that they were the only tourists in the town, since everyone else seemed to walk with a purpose (and a smile).
The hotel was a pale peach-ish color and had numerous pillars. Marble floors were visible from outside, through the huge glass doors. Joel led Pete, Patrick, Joe and Andy up a few steps to the porch in front of the entrance to the hotel. An African American man with a fancy white suit (complete with a silver chain for his watch, black tie, and white fedora) was there to greet them. Like Joel, he towered above Joe, the tallest member of their foursome, by at least three inches.
"I welcome you to our humble town of Purity! I am Mayor Jay. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask your tour guide. Thank you for visiting."
Pete watched as the other three headed into the hotel, making sure he was able to watch them go in. He turned around and smiled at Joel. "Well, thanks for the tour! Have a good night! I know I will!"
Joel's creepy, constant smile widened and Pete thought he saw Joel's left side jerk before he responded. "Likewise."
---
Pete watched carefully as the lady behind the checkout counter handed them their room key (a plastic card). Her smile matched the smile of every single person he had met and passed by that day, right down to the perfectly whitened fangs. She tossed her thick, wavy dark blonde hair over her shoulder and flashed him a fake but rather nice smile, popping out against her professionally tanned skin. "We hope you enjoy your stay at Clandestine Inn."
---
"This is a nice hotel room…" Patrick looked around as the others walked in and Pete tossed a single duffel bag on the ground, off to the side.
There were two double beds with a gold-and-red floral pattern on the comforters and a TV between the two in a large wooden armoire. Two matching end tables held lamps and Clandestine Inn paper napkin and glass sets. The carpet was green with a gold ribbon pattern and the walls were a light gold color. A green fold-out couch was in front of the bathroom, with a set of blankets and pillows. It was entirely possible that this hotel room, though satisfying, wasn't all THAT much nicer than many… it had probably just been a long time since Patrick and the others had been in a halfway decent hotel.
Pete looked at Joe, then at the carton used for holding ice retrieved from the machine down the hall. "You should get ice."
"I'll do that." No questions asked.
Pete sat on the bed and immediately began flipping through the channels on the TV. Andy looked through the mini-fridge. Patrick packed the vial of Joel's blood away safely in a small compartment of the duffel bag.
After a couple minutes, Joe came back with ice. "Sooo… what do you guys think of the place so far?"
"You mean the city?" Patrick faced him. "It's… interesting. Curious. But interesting. I really like how there's an oven mitt in the drawer next to the Bible."
"The people seem nice!" Andy added helpfully. "And did you see that store for-"
"This place is FUCKING creepy!" Pete blurted out.
Patrick laughed openly, grateful for Pete's blunt opinion.
Encouraged by Patrick's enjoyment of his comment, Pete smiled and continued, jumping off the bed. "I mean, where am I? Stepford? Ew!" He held out his arms, making them and his legs look stiff, and bent his torso to make a forty-five degree angly at his hips. He imitated beeping noises. "Welcome. To. Purity. My. Name. Is. Joel. Welcome. To. Perfect. Society. Perfect. Society. Perfect. Society."
The others laughed with him. Joe joined in, also doing a surprisingly good robot-style pose, voice, and emotionless face. "My name is Mayor-bot. Welcome. Welcome. Welll-commmme."
"What?!" asked, but then laughed so hard he had to kneel down on the floor.
When Andy caught his breath, he joined them as well, doing some sloppily-done version of 'The Robot' with jerky movements. "My-name-is-Rachel. I'm-a-greeter-bot. Welcome-humans."
There was a pause of silence as they all took in Andy's less-than-average performance. Immediately following the silence was another burst of laughter.
Eventually, Patrick spoke again. "Okay. Where is everyone going to sleep? There are two beds, one couch, and… one…" He looked around. "…floor."
"I'll take floor," Pete volunteered. Bored, he turned around and inspected the only window in the room to see how he could cover it to avoid morning light. But the window appeared to have some kind of thick metal shutters on it under the heavy red-and-gold curtains.
"Are you sure?"
Pete gave him one of his sharpened-to-perfection 'looks' "I've been sleeping on that couch for over a month now, and before that it was a wooden coffin. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be stealing one of your quilts and blanket sets, though. And pillow, please. And I see that mint thingy, there. I'd kinda like that-"
"I CALL A BED!" Out of nowhere, Joe jumped onto a bed and bounced a couple times.
Patrick looked distressed. "Hey, look, Joe, we're trying to settle this like normal-"
"I'VE GOT SECOND!" Andy declared.
"You GUYS!" Patrick weakly shouted, stomping his foot like a four year-old.
"Patrick, you can live with a sofa bed for one night. Be manly." Pete commented as he began ripping off the sheets from Andy's bed.
Patrick pouted and crossed his arms as he stomped over to the fold-out bed. "Maybe I don't wanna be manly…"
---
"This bar is a lot nicer than the last!" Sorel commented with a satisfied grin. This was true. The paint on the walls was a lovely peach-ish color. There were a couple of pillars in the entranceway. The floors were made of marble.
"Do you get the sense that people don't like us here?" Mikey was referring to the fact that they had seen a couple of tourists that were being helped by an enthusiastic tour guide, to the point where he was buying them drinks. Their threesome, however, had received a rather cold, sarcastic 'greeting' from the blonde girl who manned the city gates and had not been offered any help in the form of eager tour guides.
"You noticed it, too?" Gerard replied.
"We're leaving tomorrow," was Sorel's response. "Who gives a crap what these people think of us?" He finished the line with a swig of good German beer.
"But I'm just wondering why…" Mikey persisted.
"Well, the stupid tourists we saw earlier were both human…" Gerard began to answer his brother. "And we're vampires, all three of us."
"Well then, we have a bunch of friggin' hypocrites!" Sorel said. "These people are ALL vamps too. Or have they not noticed?"
Gerard turned to the bartender. "Excuse me, can I get a Miller here?"
The bartender scowled as he quickly handed Gerard the beer, then made a point of turning his back to Gerard and walking away a bit.
Gerard nodded, handing the beer to Sorel. "That settles it. There's something weird about the people here. I don't think we'd be treated so rudely if we're paying customers, even if we're threatening, no, especially if we're threatening, unless they view us as some kind of inconvenience." He paused and looked up in thought. "I wonder what…"
"I'll say it again: doesn't matter." Sorel insisted as he gulped down more beer and turned to face the TV in the corner of the bar. "Just have some fun. We'll give the Clandestine Inn here a little parting gift tomorrow."