Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Chapter Eighteen
Her heart beat at it's normal pace, but something in it sang, something that had sung before, near Belle, and near Jasmine. She had never paid it much mind. She had felt the connection to the other Princesses, and thought it through shared experiences. Naminé told her differently. Naminé had told them all differently, before she had retreated back, hiding even from Kairi for once. She was silent and a part of Kairi wondered if she would ever hear that voice again, and their shared heart clenched painfully. Naminé wouldn't do that to her.
"I wonder if this is the destiny of all of you." It was Roxas, looking at her, his eyes chilly. Since Naminé had come out and then vanished inside her again, he had withdrawn, and as the cards herded them forward she could see Sora's eyes sliding over to his Nobody, worried and nervous.
But she understood what he meant. "Not for me. I gave up that part. If to be a Princess of Heart means I have to be a Queen eventually, I refuse."
Roxas blinked, and then smiled, almost shyly. "And maybe that's the right choice – you're stronger than all of them. You won't gain a title, but you're already more noble."
She blushed and Roxas actually smirked, his eyes brightening. His steps became a bit lighter and she felt a small stirring within her heart and was glad Roxas had talked to her. She could feel Naminé again – and he looked happier. Not overly happy, but she could see Sora's shoulder's relaxing. It was strange – she could see cues on how they each were feeling from the other, but they weren't true reflections at all. Not that she expected them to be, but sometimes there was so little of each other in them she had to wonder how they got along so well.
"Where are we going?" Riku asked gruffly.
"To Queen Alice!" The cards shouted in unison. Kairi had to smile – it just sounded so right to her ears. She hadn't really met Alice - only seen her briefly really, as she had fled with Donald and Goofy, but it had a nice ring.
"Yes but where-" Riku was cut off when Sora nudged him. The rose bushes were thinning out to reveal a castle, and before that, a podium and a familiar cage. And there indeed was a blonde girl, sitting up in the judge's podium with a helpless expression on her face.
When her eyes saw them, Kairi could see her blue eyes light up. "Oh, Keyblade Master! Thank goodness!"
"Um, it's just Sora. Are you – Oof!" Sora was interrupted when Alice sprinted right into his reluctant arms and he looked up wild-eyed. Kairi made a hugging motion when his eyes met hers. Alice was obviously distraught and she instinctively trusted Sora – probably for good reason. He had saved her, and all of them.
After a few moments the girl stepped back, sniffling slightly. "I'm sorry Keybla – Sora. I'm just... oh, so many wonderful and horrible things have happened and suddenly I'm Queen, but Wonderland is in danger and Dina is missing – and I don't think I'm allowed to go home anymore!"
Kairi's heart clenched in pity and she elbowed through the circle of cards that now separated Alice and Sora from the rest of them. She took the younger girl in her arms and made comforting noises. "It'll be alright. I'm sure we can all find a way to help you. Why don't you tell it to us one step at a time?"
"Wha... You... I remember you. You're... Kairi, aren't you? The seventh?" Alice's tear filled blue eyes looked up at her hopefully and she nodded kindly. The girl looked only about thirteen or fourteen now. She had grown some – and was wearing a strange outfit of red and black with a wand in her hand, a red heart at the end. Sora was eyeing it oddly when she glanced at him, and she saw recognition in his eyes. She would ask that about him later.
"Who are... You!" Alice laid an accusing finger at Riku and Kairi sighed, hearing Sora groan. She saw Riku wince and shook her head. That would always haunt him. What she didn't expect was a soft, barely audible chuckle, and she peeked off toward where Roxas was, to see his lips in a clearly amused smirk.
"Her too?" Sora asked.
Riku shrugged and eyed the suddenly more hostile cards, Slender Thorn in his hand. "I was ordered to – I didn't hurt you any, and I'm very sorry, could you call of your minions?"
Kairi glared at him. He didn't sound at all apologetic. In fact mostly he sounded annoyed. But she did look down at the younger girl. "Really, he was just going through a bad time."
Alice didn't look convinced, and she stepped away from Kairi, her chin held high. "You were very rude and that didn't sound like a proper apology at all. I see no reason why I shouldn't... why I shouldn't have you locked up!"
"You could have his head chopped off!" One over eager card called out. Alice's face paled.
"Well... I suppose I could. But that just... doesn't seem right." Alice looked confused now, and Kairi heard Roxas snort and mutter something. She saw Sora shoot him a dirty look and then suddenly Sora was smiling at Alice, walking closer, his expression open and hopeful.
"Look, he really has changed. And he's my best friend. Couldn't you let him go? As a favor? I can't really help you if you lock up my best friend, 'cause then I would have to go help him escape and I'd be your enemy," Sora explained breezily. He smiled apologetically at Alice's gasp of surprise. "Sorry, but I traveled all over looking for my friends, and I can't let anyone take them away."
"Oh, I won't, I won't!" Alice's shoulders had dropped and she looked ready to cry again. "Any friend of yours is of course welcome. Let him through – both of them. Back away and leave me be, cards. I need their help, you see."
The cards moved aside and Roxas and Riku joined them as the cards slowly disappeared and Alice sagged further. "It was Dina's fault, you see. My cat, she went down the rabbit hole. I don't know what's wrong with her. She's no longer a kitten, but suddenly she just went through. That... that was weeks ago. Maybe months. And it's terrible – I can't find her anywhere! I've lost her. Or I thought I had. But I came here, and you see, suddenly I was Queen, and they say they've found her but she's been kidnapped and the animals and flowers in the forest are all silent, hiding and oh, everything has gone wrong!"
Kairi was about to try and comfort the girl again, but she shook off the melancholy that had seemed about to make her break down. Instead she straightened herself and composed her face. "I do apologize. Everything just seems to have gone wrong, and things just kept going downhill. I suppose I'm too old now to cry about it all."
"Anyone would cry if they'd lost something precious," Riku said softly and Kairi glanced at him, and then away because his eyes had slid over both her and Sora and she didn't want to imagine how his days in Hollow Bastion had been when he thought he had lost them both in one way or another.
"I've tried to go look for her, but the cards say I shouldn't, and I do have a duty here now – but I so want to find Dina. And Wonderland has such strange rules. I don't see how I could ever learn them all," Alice sighed. She seemed to be calming down. "But I shall have to try – I just worry so over Dina. She's not a large cat, and surely being kidnapped can't be good for her."
"We'll find her," She promised at the same time Sora did. She grinned at Riku's resigned look.
"But, before we go... How did you end up Queen, Alice?" Sora asked the question that was burning in her mind and her attention became riveted on Alice.
"Well, I had greatly angered the Queen – when I came back here after we held back the Heartless, I ended up right back where I was. I managed to escape, but I had defied the Queen. Apparently, that just isn't done – except by a Princess. Or so declared the Queen. It really is a rule. So while I was in my part of the world, I was adopted as Princess of Hearts. Ironic, don't you think?" She smiled at Kairi, and Kairi grinned back. It was a strange sort of humor there – a Princess of Heart becoming Princess of Hearts – which wasn't even an actual card, but apparently here it did not matter.
"And so, by the time I came here, it seems that the Queen had been taken by the Heartless. The King was so distraught that he stepped down and disappeared and well... Here I am! But Dina isn't!" Alice's blue eyes looked at them imploringly and suddenly Kairi could see that she would be a different kind of queen than most considered regal. She would implore and beg, and be without guile, but it would get her what she wanted and she would do what she thought was right. And she was strong – or had the potential to be. But she had some growing up to do. It was strange the difference just a few years made.
"We'll look for her, and get her back for you, Alice," Sora promised. "I'm surprised that's all the trouble you're having. Everything else is all right?"
Kairi reevaluated Alice's relative youth and lack of manipulation when she saw how those bright blue eyes focused on Sora with a new light. "There is one more thing – you see, they tell me that a Queen needs a King. You would make a wonderful King, Sora."
Kairi felt her jaw drop and heard Riku choking nearby. It was surprisingly Roxas who stepped in smoothly as Sora sputtered and blushed. "Sorry, your Majesty, but as Keyblade Master Sora just can't promise himself to one world. Marrying you would be dishonoring the duty trusted to him by the denizens of every world and abandoning the rest of the universe to evil."
If Alice's audacious statement had made her jaw job, Roxas's sudden eloquence made her freeze in shock. Into the silence in her mind, Naminé softly chimed, 'The Organization wasn't all about brute strength. They did have to learn certain mental and speaking skills – Roxas wasn't very good at them really, he couldn't seem to turn people to the dark. But he still knows how to speak to someone's heart – though to the good part, it seems.'
'Perhaps that was his problem in the Organization. They only wanted him to talk to the darker emotions,' Kairi suggested. Alice looked chagrined now and was hastily apologizing. Roxas was slipping away with Sora and Riku in tow in the meantime and the Nobody gave her a neutral glance, something unfathomable in his gaze. She guessed it was her job to take care of Alice and catch up – but she didn't understand the almost measuring look there, or what it meant.
"We'll find Dina, I promise. And I know you want a King – but you can't just choose anyone – even if that person is a hero and one of the best people you know, you'll both end up discontent in the end. You have to find someone you'll really love, someone who can rule by your side. Besides... Sora doesn't always understand how complicated some situations can be." Or he hadn't – she was beginning to see he was understanding them more. But still, the delicate balance of a kingdom was nowhere for Sora to stumble – even a kingdom like Wonderland.
Alice smiled and Kairi could see a glimpse of the woman she would become, still that natural blue-eyed beauty, but there would be something harder to her, something that held a bit of wisdom. She would be a good queen – eventually. "You'll do great, you know. In the end, you'll be a better queen than anyone could ever hope."
Alice stared at her in surprise and Kairi smiled a bit nervously. The words had just come out. Without warning, Alice was hugging her. "Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you. I – I've always wanted to know one of us better. Could you... after you find Dina, could you come stay for awhile?"
"Yes. I would love that," Kairi responded instantly. "I think we'll be closer than we could be to the others – neither of us grew up a Princess – but now look at you. A Queen."
Alice looked at her seriously, her expression a little distant. Kairi wondered with a chill if this was how she had looked. "You will never have the title of Queen, but you will be wiser and more powerful than any of us. Your life might never be peaceful or what you wanted – but if you choose right, the rest of the universe will have the chance to be happy."
Kairi stared at her and Alice stared right back, equally as surprised. "Oh my. Has this ever happened before?"
"No. I visited Belle and Jasmine but... Nothing like this. Is it Wonderland?" Kairi looked at the world around her curiously. It had other strange effects – Roxas and Sora, for one. Even if that was more likely to be to Nobody interference.
"Quite likely both Wonderland and who we are. But – you should go. You don't want to fall behind." Alice shooed her off with her hands and Kairi grinned, pulling the younger girl into a brief hug before running after the boys. She never did want to be left behind again.
Kairi hadn't been quite sure what Riku's new problem with Roxas was until she caught a glimpse of Roxas walking beside Sora, his body just slightly tilted toward him, and his entire being centered on the brunet. In a sudden insight of clarity, she realized what Riku suspected and nearly fell – only to be caught by Roxas himself. She couldn't help but let her eyes dart between him and Sora as he helped her balance. Roxas stepped away as if he had been burned and Sora's head jerked up to stare at Roxas. She saw his face flash with a faint expression of unease and sympathy – but nothing like what she sensed in Roxas. She could even feel Sora's heart – and there was nothing in Sora's heart but a strange extremely close friendship with Roxas. An odd one, but not like Roxas felt.
'It's been going on for a while – I don't know when it began, or if it's even based in reality or just what Roxas wants and can't have. But he doesn't act on it, and won't, he respects Sora too much for that. And Sora is too deeply in love with Riku. If only he would understand that,' Naminé sighed.
Kairi glanced at Riku, striding ahead of them, his shoulders tense and brooding. She glanced at Roxas and he glanced at Sora, jerking his head forward. And then she and Roxas were walking in the back, side by side. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. Besides – it's not that bad. You know the feeling and you're happy." He looked at her, not smiling, but not with that chilly blank gaze, just an almost sad, sympathetic look. She smiled in return.
She didn't respond for a minute, watching the boys ahead of them. "He loved him more than he loved me."
"No, it wasn't more. Just different. He will always love you – but Riku makes him burn with a look and calm with a touch." Roxas was staring at them when she glanced at him and she grinned at him.
"You're unusually talkative," Kairi said and bit her lip as Roxas glanced away, his eyes going a bit blank – she didn't like it when there wasn't light in them. But she couldn't think of what to say to fix it and so they walked forward silently.
She thought that would be the end of it, that they would be silent forever as they went through the forest – and then suddenly there was a strange silence. She paused and Roxas paused, his gaze going sharply around them. "Something's happening."
Now that she was paying attention she listened with her hearts – and could feel an absence, a place where there was only an echo. Many of them – she didn't know what kinds but she warned loudly, "Nobodies coming!"
Kairi lifted her hand to catch the Keyblade thrown her way as Riku whirled toward her. Slender Thorn was in his hand after Radiant Spirit had left it and she could see Sora surveying the surrounding forest warily. She and Roxas were suddenly back-to-back and she blinked at the trust she placed in him – but it wasn't all her trust. She could feel Naminé's trust in Roxas enhancing her own. Usually she would have gone closer to the other two – but this worked just as well.
"Water!" She heard Sora shout as the first few appeared and she had to smile – he was so anticipating finding a way to use that. She was surprised at the way he did. A wave rose up, but instead of trying to wash them away, it crashed down and it was a few moment before the spell went away – leaving the Nobodies on the ground.
They took advantage of that. She went after the few on the ground – the spell couldn't take down more than a few at it's lower level – and Roxas guarded her back, two Keyblades sweeping in his hands, Fenrir and Bond of Flame promising the end of existence to the heartless shells. She stayed close, and could sense Sora and Riku fighting nearby, their hearts just slightly out of synch but beating just as fast.
There was a new kind, she noticed – and the wolf Nobodies were back. The new kind was spindly, almost fluid in its movements. It was slow moving, and only vaguely humanoid, standing on two thick legs with a thin upper body, arms, and head. She struck out at one boldly – and the legs parted to reveal four thin legs instead of two thick ones, and it lunged for her, jumping up and the legs attempting to impale her.
She blocked with Radiant Spirit, and Light Flare had it scuttling away. It weaved back and forth, its arms crossing in front of it as if it was thinking. She noticed its arms ended in three fingered hands and she frowned. Usually they only had hands if they wielded a weapon. She saw no weapon in its hand. She struck at the legs as it came close again, and this time it jumped up and before she knew it, its legs were around her and had multiplied, trapping her. It's body somehow inverted so now it was in the cage with her – and now a weapon appeared in it's hand, long pieces of curved metal on chains.
She dodged the first two shot at her, crashing into the legs of her cage, but then the chains were around her. She struck out at it, and the Nobody made no sound as she struck, just pulled the chains to trip her to the ground. Light Flares shot up around her. Even a Light Circle, and the Nobody looked weaker and was striking at her more rapidly now. She was unable to keep up some of the time and she felt the weapons slicing into her clothes and into her skin. But finally one blow dug in deep, and the Nobody disappeared.
Standing was difficult, but she had to do it. She looked around for Roxas and sprinted toward him when she saw he was being attacked by half a dozen of the new Nobodies. Everything else seemed to be going after Sora and Riku, but the new ones only went after them. Warning bells were going off in her mind but she had no time to her them. She jumped and whirled, gathering more speed and strength so that the first hit knocked on Nobody to the ground. She followed it, attacking quickly, and dancing around the attacks off another that tried to catch her. As long as they didn't get her in that cage again, she could dodge around their attacks. None had brought out the chains and sickles – at least she supposed they were sickles – yet. She destroyed the one she was attacking and whirled to look for another.
She killed another, and Roxas killed two more. They turned to work on the last two – and the Nobodies pounced. They were both suddenly in cages, and this time in the thin cages there were other Nobodies, and some Dusks outside. She was too busy fighting the wolf Nobodies inside to wonder – until the cage both expanded outward and closer underneath her, forming a ball. The Nobody inverted, and the sickles bit into her flesh.
The cage rolled onto its side as she managed to bring down one of the wolf Nobodies. She stumbled and fell – and the chains wrapped around her, and a wolf bit down on her neck, holding her there. She gasped for air as the chains squeezed and she could hear Roxas's choked shouts. Darkness filled her vision and she tried to fight it, tried to swing Radiant Spirit despite the chains on her arms – but the darkness claimed her anyway.
She awoke to Roxas talking very quietly – and he was furious. And desperate. "You'll never live through this. I'll kill you."
Another voice answered, it's voice strangely light and cheerful. "Are you feeling it yet Roxas? The weakness of being so far away. He feels it too. He feels every injury you have."
"Karxal! They have entered the maze! Our maze has been entered," Another similar voice sang. "Come brother, and leave that half alone. The other half is more interesting."
She opened her eyes and stared at the person still standing in front of Roxas, and then at the other one in the doorway. With the same dark brown hair and eyes as silver as Riku's hair, she could tell the term "brother" was meant literally. "What do you want with us?"
They turned toward her, and it was the newcomer who answered, "It is not us. The Lost Company wants one of you. But one of them wants something else now – or at least at first. He wants that same one to hurt and be in agony – so he attacks the heart."
"I'm not Sora's heart. You should have grabbed Riku for that," Roxas spat.
"Karxal. Kamxis, Attend to your maze. I will make sure Sora gets the message about these two." Kairi stared as the two Nobodies scurried away, barely noticing the magical restraints on Roxas's wrists. Alcexan was standing in the doorway. He grinned at them, a flash of fangs. "Princess. And half of a Keyblade Master. Not even the important half."
Kairi wanted Radiant Spirit, but she would have to make do with her draggers. She pulled them out as Alcexan walked toward the immobile Roxas who was glaring for all he was worth. The tall Nobody ran a clawed hand across Roxas's face, leaving four scratches behind. "Does he feel this?"
"Leave him alone!" Kairi shouted, standing with daggers in her hands. She didn't let herself think why she wasn't in magical bindings as well, just thanked the Light for small favors.
Alcexan ignored her, and leaned forward. "He feels it all, doesn't he Roxas?"
Kairi lunged for him – and a clawed hand snatched her from the air. That orange gaze didn't even turn toward her as she was thrown into a wall. He didn't think her worth noticing. Her head hit the wall and she cried out – but she wouldn't be stopped. Her wounds hadn't been healed and she was weak, but she couldn't let him touch Roxas. 'Roxas and Sora shouldn't be apart,' Naminé murmured.
She tried to clear her head, shaking it to get the spots from her vision – just in time to stare in horror as Alcexan shifted so his body was pressed close to Roxas. "Can he feel this, Roxas? Your helplessness?"
The Nobody leaned forward and Kairi shuddered as his lips pressed against Roxas's. He wouldn't – none of their enemies had ever been so dishonorable. A second later, she realized it was more like none of their enemies had ever been so stupid. Roxas's wrists were held, but his feet were not. Alcexan double over as Roxas's knee went into his crotch, and then the blond Nobody head butted him. As Alcexan stumbled away Roxas sneered, "Can you feel that, asshole?"
There was a snarl and then Alcexan straightened. "We will continue this later, weaklings."
He strode – awkwardly – out of the room and Kairi itched to try and ram a dagger through his back. Roxas caught her eyes and shook his head. Reluctantly, she let the door close and then raised an eyebrow at Roxas. "I didn't know you could fight that dirty."
The Nobody actually grinned at her. "DiZ gave me memories full of fighting with Seifer. He never did that– but he always sneered at me for not fighting dirty enough. When all you have is a body and a soul, you take physical sensations very seriously – including pain."
"I've always thought boys wouldn't do that to each other," She admitted, carefully walking closer, aware that her vision was a little hazy.
"In that position, anyone would do that – there aren't a lot of choices. I can't call my Keyblades. Can't move my wrists." Roxas shrugged. Kairi smiled, mostly in relief that Alcexan hadn't been able to do anything worse, and then took a breath and closed her eyes.
"Cure," She said firmly, needing the word to augment her concentration. The green glow surrounded them both. She watched as many of her wounds healed at least partway – but the magic barely did a thing to Roxas. She stared at him, puzzled.
'Roxas and Sora shouldn't be apart,' Naminé repeated, and Kairi stared at Roxas's face. He didn't look surprised.
"This – without Sora, you can't heal?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
He shrugged. "Before we merged, back when I was in the Organization, this didn't happen – but I hadn't been inside him, and we hadn't been torn apart in an unnatural way. Now I can feel him, and neither of us is healing right. And... I'm getting weaker. So is he. I can feel that. We're getting sick, Kairi."
She felt a chill run down her back. They were trapped in this room, and she couldn't get them out on her own. She didn't have the strength. For a moment, she could almost see Naminé tilting her head, as if she was in front of her, a secret smile on her face. 'Don't you?'
She shook the strange feeling that her Nobody sensed more than she did off. "How... How bad is it?"
"Not bad right now. But it will be. We could die from this." Roxas was staring off past her for a second and she wished she could feel his heart – but his heart was far away, trying to find him. His attention drifted to her. He suddenly looked pensive and hesitant. "Can I talk to Naminé?"
She hadn't been expecting that request – but she guessed she should have. She smiled and closed her eyes. 'Naminé?'
'Yes. I would like to speak to him as well.' They switched, a slow but nearly painless process – she wondered why it was easier for them. Perhaps because Naminé always kept a piece of herself in the back of their heart. Naminé never seemed to be totally there.
"Roxas," Naminé greets, rising to move closer, touching his bruised face. "You don't look well."
"I don't feel well. We need to get out of here." Roxas was staring at her insistently. Naminé smiled and shook her head, leaning beside where he was chained to the wall.
"I cannot make a portal now anymore than you can, Roxas. I have no power. These captors have no hearts to crush." Her smiled faded slightly as she saw the confusion in his eyes. "I learned I could do that at Castle Oblivion. I learned many things there – but none of them matter now. There is only one person who can get us out of this."
Roxas stared for a moment, and she knew he wanted to ask about the Castle. But he let it drop and scoffed, "I'm not being rescued by Riku."
She smiled again and pressed a hand to her heart, feeling Kairi's nervousness and fear. "That is not who I spoke of. But you don't see either. I don't even understand it totally. But a Princess of Heart has power. Power they don't even understand. Six held back the darkness when it would have otherwise consumed all that exists."
He looked unconvinced, but didn't protest her trust in Kairi – which was good. She wasn't outspoken about much, but she would defend her Other until their joined death and beyond. Instead he asked, "How did you know about that?"
"I share Kairi's memories. She does not mind me looking, and she can look at mine anytime she wants. She does not, for the same reason you and Sora try not to look at each other's as much as possible, though you know most of his. She is afraid that if she sees my memories, and learns them, that I will no longer exist." Naminé felt Kairi stir and shivered in response to the fear that did rise. Kairi was so much more afraid of losing Naminé than Naminé was of disappearing.
"You don't think it can happen?" Roxas asked suspiciously. She sighed, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.
"What if it does happen? I've accepted that it's possible. Perhaps it is how it should be." She saw his eyes drop and the well-hidden despair rise. He wanted to always be around to talk to Sora, and hear Sora's voice. She added, in hopes of seeing his eyes brighten, "But think of who we have gained our determination from. Do you really think our will can just let us merge completely with them? We gathered our sense of self from them, and we can no more give it up than they can."
He did smile slightly then. "And you gained it from both. You're less likely to disappear into Kairi than I am into Sora."
She smiled in return, and didn't openly disagree – but privately she did. He wanted to stay around. She did as well, but while he was afraid of merging, she was ready for it. If one day she just drifted off and there was only Kairi, then that was what happened. She was not afraid of not existing. She even more than regular Nobodies shouldn't have existed. Kairi protested – but they both knew it was true. 'A Princess of Heart is not meant to have a Nobody. I am an abomination.'
Kairi protested, 'You aren't! It was just because my heart had been inside Sora! It doesn't make it wrong!'
'All Nobodies are wrong,' She replied. It was true – they weren't meant to exist. But they did, now.
'Just because you weren't meant to doesn't mean you don't have a right to – if a nobody isn't trying to destroy worlds or working in an evil organization, how would we even know they were a Nobody?' Kairi demanded. Naminé sighed, drawing a sharp look from Roxas.
'A Nobody needs a place to belong – you will never find a Nobody just pretending to be normal. A person's heart would shy away from theirs. It's just natural – they don't have anything to connect to.' Naminé shook her head sadly and glanced up at Roxas's obvious cough.
"I apologize. I was explaining something to Kairi. While she's not as... as difficult as Sora with some subjects, with just a few... her heart is very big and she cares too much sometimes." She watched Roxas closely, and saw his lips twitch slightly into an almost-smile. He understood.
"The word you're looking for in Sora's case is dense – he took until Riku's birthday to start to realize that Riku loved him and that was only with both me and Kairi knocking him over the head with it," Roxas grumbled. There was something else there, she knew, something else about that night. She could see him fighting a smile at the memory, and wondered what had happened then. Something had changed between Roxas and Sora that night as well, not simply Riku and Sora.
Naminé, on impulse, leaned sideways and kissed Roxas's cheek. She rarely did something on impulse. She needed to analyze things sometimes. But most of the time when she did do those things, it turned out fine. Roxas stared at her, his cheeks turning slightly pink, and her lips quirked up in a shadow of Kairi's mischievous grin. "Don't look so startled. I just wanted to. I don't know that I'll ever get the chance to again."
"What do you mean?" He asked, and she shook her head. "Naminé?"
"Despite that I was made from two and not one, I am still the one more likely. Remember that – just incase," she answered without really giving anything away at all. And then she closed her eyes, and slipped back into her place in Kairi's heart.
Kairi opened her eyes and saw that Roxas's eyes had widened. "She's still there, right?"
"Yes," Kairi answered immediately, feeling for the spark of Naminé and keeping it in constant observation. "She's not even weakening – I don't even know why she said that."
Roxas's eyes were shadowed. "Naminé never says something for no reason."
"No, she doesn't," Kairi agreed, and they fell into a long, uncomfortable silence.
She eventually fell into a fitful sleep and awoke when the door opened. She was instantly on her feet and she saw Roxas tensing. The Nobody who came in was one of the brown haired ones, his silver eyes peering at them both. "I don't suppose you two would like some food?"
"Your not the one from before," Roxas said suspiciously. Kairi was frankly grateful – she couldn't tell them apart.
"I'm Kamxis. I create the mental maze, he creates the physical ones. I have to say. With you and your Other we both had a hand in it, and if it weren't for Wonderland's unique properties, we couldn't have pulled it off. Though I wish we had been doing it for other reasons than Alcexan and the Lost." He was unusually chatty for a Nobody and was balancing two trays in his hands as he looked at them eagerly.
"He can't eat with restraints on," She said, ignoring the rest for now.
"You'll have to feed him," The Nobody said cheerfully. If the door had still been open she would have jumped him with her daggers as he bent down and tried to get past or make him dispel the magic restraints – but Kamxis looked up at her, his silver eyes piercing and calm. She stayed where she was.
She moved their trays over closer to Roxas, who shook his head. She nodded in understanding. "We'll eat later."
The Nobody's face fell a little. "Oh. I see."
He looked so young and downtrodden at that moment that she had to ask something to make him look happy again. "Please – can you tell us about the Lost? The Lost Company, someone said?"
"Me. I – you really want to know?" he looked surprised. "I didn't think you'd care. You just have to destroy them, right? They're upsetting the worlds."
She sighed and glanced away, remembering her conversation with Naminé. "If they're upsetting the worlds and ruining the balance, then we do. It's our duty."
"What if some Nobody wasn't? What if they just acted like normal people?" Kamxis was staring at her hopefully. She heard Roxas scoff, but she met Kamxis's silver eyes squarely.
"We would leave them alone," she answered truthfully. Kamxis searched her face – and smile, an oddly peaceful look. For Nobodies that had no emotions, Kamxis certainly showed a lot.
"Well then, that's interesting. Ah – Well, never mind. The Lost Company is what it says. Those who are lost. The Nobodies. Not all of course – the oldest members are those that managed to avoid the Organization. The younger, some that popped up while the Organization was dying. There aren't that many core members – we are actually the youngest, and can't even be called core members, really. Our powers only work well and balanced when we're with each other. It's because we're twins, you see, and when we were changed into Nobodies – it's strange. Sometimes I think our souls are intertwined and we just can't be apart. But we were changed at the same time, and The Lost picked us up, but they don't really count us as part of them – it is because of that Alcexan asked us to do this." Kamxis settled on the floor, apparently deciding he had the right to be there now that she had asked him a question.
"That bastard. Even Nobody's are supposed to have honor," Roxas muttered and Kamxis looked at him, flushing a little.
"He wouldn't have done more you know – I don't think anyway. I'm not even sure he knows how in this body. He's used to the one he was born in, not his shape-shifted humanoid one. But he fits in better when he's shifted." Kamxis seemed to contemplate that, his eyes a bit blank and Kairi wondered how much of the conversation was an act, how many of those emotions he felt an echo or a remembrance of, and which ones he was faking.
Roxas actually looked surprised. "Shape shifted?"
Kamxis grinned. "Didn't know that, did you, Keyblade Master?"
A chill went down her back at the mocking voice, so unlike the friendly Kamxis from before. He seemed to notice her sudden fear, his eyes flicking to her and he shifted and looked away, almost looking apologetic. She reminded herself it was all a game to them, all fakery.
"No, I didn't," Roxas responded, his face and voice suddenly void of emotion. "Alcexan wouldn't give his secrets away to us – only to weaklings like yourselves."
The Nobody's back stiffened and his hands fisted. "If you weren't in restraints... But you are. So don't goad me. It's not amusing."
"And your amusement is obviously all that matters?" Roxas asked dryly.
"Look, I don't see why you're angry at me! I didn't know you would get sick. I told you, Karxal handles the physical things, and he's the one who told Alcexan! I gave you something you wanted!" The Nobody looked ready to stand again, his eyes practically glowing. She thought this might be close to real anger, or anger he believed was real. An echo of it at least.
"Something I wanted? Do you think I wanted to make him hurt? To cause problems with him and Riku? Do you?" Roxas kicked the wall in frustration, straining against his bonds.
"Do you regret your time with him?" Kamxis asked, very seriously. The question actually seemed to matter to him.
"No," Roxas responded after a long silence. "I was glad for the chance – but I won't thank you."
"I don't expect you to – now it is hurting you both. You are sickening, and he is as well. I truly wish it was not a side effect – but when something is not done naturally, there are always effects that we do not want." The Nobody smiled faintly, an almost bitter hint to it. "And to do it naturally would lose one of you – you just aren't meant to be apart, normally. Obviously you can be, since you both went a year apart, but it just isn't natural."
"I understand that. And I think Alcexan is a coward – he can't find Sora except weakened," Roxas sneered, and Kamxis looked at him, his silver eyes glinting oddly.
"He doesn't want a fight. He wants him to hurt – he might have even strayed from the original objective enough to want to kill him – or at least, half of him." It was a clear warning, and he even looked faintly regretful – if a Nobody could regret things. Naminé's memories said they could – she certainly had.
"Kamxis! I need your help! What am I supposed to do when they go through the stone walls?" Karxal sounded a mix between excited and angry. And definitely shocked. Kamxis looked shocked, and Kairi giggled at him as he bounded out of the room. She tried to keep it in, but her eyes met Roxas's smirking face and they both burst into laughter.
"That's definitely Sora. Even weakened, if there's something in his way, he doesn't go around – he goes through it." They grinned for a while, but Roxas's faded first, and he was tense – and paler. She hadn't noticed before but now she went forward and she pressed a hand to his forehead and cheek, ignoring the jerk of his head. He was warm – very warm.
She looked at him. "You should eat. You need your strength."
He glanced at the food, and at her, and she hoped that the trust Sora had for her somehow traveled to Roxas like Namine's trust of him did for her. Finally he nodded, letting his pride fall. "Feed me. He'll need all the strength I can give."
Hours later, Roxas was too sick, and Kairi couldn't handle it. Kamxis had been back once but said nothing, but looked at her, something in his eyes. He was bothered by her – by something about her. Then he had left, leaving nothing more of himself, not even more information.
"If only I knew Dispel. I saw that spell there, in one of the books," Kairi murmured, but she had been murmuring that. It was no use. She had tried it, and she didn't have the knowledge to make it work. Roxas just hung there on the wall now, his legs no longer holding him up. He was just slumped there, only half conscious. Cure wasn't working even a little - but it rarely did on sicknesses, and wouldn't work at all on him anymore. She didn't want to imagine what Sora was going through.
Naminé had gone silent, but Kairi could feel the worry in that part of her. They felt the same, but she could still feel the difference – if barely. They worried for both boys, and for Riku who might not have any idea what was going on. She glanced up as the door opened, and saw familiar brown hair and silver eyes – but despite their alike appearance, she knew this was Karxal. "So. Alcexan won't have much to do to finish his other half off. He won't even put up a struggle. Disappointing – my brother thought you would both survive. He even pleads for your life to us, you know. My twin must see something interesting in you, Princess. Even with a heart he was never this soft."
He smiled at her, but there was nothing of his brother there. It was cold and cruel and she panicked when he stepped toward Roxas. She dashed forward; trying to use all the skills she had learned the past few months to good use. They made mazes, apparently – but Kamxis had said his brother was the physical one and though her dagger managed to sink into his arm a second later she was flying against the wall – and though his hand was outstretched, he was not holding her there. There was a pressure against her throat and she realized that Kamxis might not have seen his brother's powers as mental, but it was his mind holding her now. She clawed and her throat and heard Roxas shifting, trying to gain enough energy to fight.
She couldn't get him off, and eventually she could see blackness stretching forth. Her heart was failing and she heard the daggers fall to the ground as a distant sound pinging in her ears.
Someone cried out something, a yell of anger, and then the force on her throat was gone. She coughed and tried to inhale the air, failing for a few minutes. As the air rushed back in, her heart started beating fast – and she could feel it. More than the physical, she could feel the connections. She could feel Roxas, and through him Sora – and she could feel Riku, her connections to them both strong. But her and Sora – it was strong and different, and suddenly she understood. She grasped the connections, to both of them. Through Riku, there was her Keyblade – and through Sora, she grasped the power she needed. The power she had gained when their hearts had been together. She found it in herself, why she could wield it.
Now she called it, and Radiant Spirit appeared as if there had never been trouble at all. She lifted her head, still breathing hard, and saw that the two twins were arguing, Kamxis waving toward her, his voice the more calm, while Karxal was the one who looked angrier, glaring and clenching a fist.
"She tried to kill me!" Karxal was screaming. She stood on unsteady feet.
"You did try to kill her friend, she does have protective instincts," Kamxis pointed out reasonably. Kairi staggered a few steps toward Karxal.
"He's only half of her friend, she – Ugh." Karxal blinked and she stared in horrified fascination as darkness began to flicker off of him. Radiant Spirit was in his throat – though most of it. Kairi pulled it out and stepped back a few steps, staring as Kamxis lunged forward.
"Brother?" Kamxis whispered. "Karxal?"
Kairi decided it was time to get out before Kamxis was over his shock. She bolted toward Roxas, and Radiant Spirit sparkled, the flowers glowing as it hit the restraints – and broke them. The power hummed through her as she caught Roxas. She tried to pull him toward the door – and the weight was suddenly taken from her.
"I'll take him from here, Princess," A familiar voice purred. She looked up into Alcexan's eyes and froze. Wolf Nobodies snapped at his heels, separating her from him, and Roxas dangled in his arms. The blond Nobody was struggling, but to no avail – Bond of Flames briefly flashed into his hand, but he barely had the strength to swing it and Alcexan knocked it to one side.
Alcexan began to move away – and she lunged for them. She couldn't let him take Roxas. The boy was too far gone to defend himself. Alcexan laughed and the wolf Nobodies flung themselves onto her as he disappeared out the door – and it shut behind him.
She swung Radiant Spirit and continued swinging it even when she fell and teeth were tearing into her arms and legs. She could feel the blood soaking her clothes as claws ripped her outfit. She had tried – but she wasn't strong enough. Radiant Spirit couldn't move everywhere, and she cried out as jaws snapped down on her wrist crushing the bones. Radiant Spirit dropped and the Nobodies surged onto her.
For the first time she really believed she would die, kicking and throwing spells, and totally in vain. She hadn't been able to save him. She had failed, but at least she would take as many of them with her as possible. Just as a wolf went for her throat, a sickle and chain weapon came out of nowhere. The Nobodies were killed or run off swiftly and then Kamxis stood in front of her. His voice was oddly neutral. "Get up, Princess. Alcexan has much to pay for."
"I... Your brother..." She managed to protest. She knew she should just accept it, but guilt was eating at her.
"He was my brother, my twin, but I can do without him – and while our powers were amplified, I still have my own power. I do not blame you for his death; you were defending yourself and your friend. I look to the original cause – don't misunderstand me. All of this is to forward my own goals. But my goals do not counter yours, and my brother was holding him back – the echoes of my caring in life kept me from leaving him. Now only one thing could stop me from my simple goals – and so our goal is the same." Kamxis turned toward her and held out a hand. His face briefly had a smile, a little odd, but it wasn't wrong – it was even pleasant. "Get up, Kairi. Don't you want to save your friend?"
She blinked and gazed at him, but the choice was clear. She took his hand, and he pulled her up.
End Part 18. I know some of this is confusing. Some parts – Sora and Riku's – will be backtracked and explained next chapter. Other parts may need to wait until Kairi's next chapter. Besides that, look for a new story entry with Vagabonds related side stories soon.