Version 1.4 (9/21/08)
THE PARKING TICKET
Part II
Bann and Duncan took Franziska into the police station, which was housed in a cheery yellow faux-European thatched-roof cottage, its window boxes stuffed with gaudy plastic flowers.
Franziska impatiently looked around the disgustingly sterile police station. The smell of new paint and cleaning solution made her head ache as she sat down in her cell.
"We run things a little differently out here," said Duncan as he handed Franziska's shopping bag and whip to Bann.
"I'll just take care of all this stuff and do the paperwork and then we can get you all settled!" Bann said cheerfully, examining each of the items carefully.
"Oh ho ho!" he exclaimed after several minutes. "It seems that miss lawyer here has another thing goin' for her!"
"Whazzat?" Duncan said drowsily, awaking from his nap on the floor.
"She doesn't have a driver's licence..." he replied in a sing-song tone.
"It's right there, on top of all the other cards," Franziska said, resisting the urge to add 'you fools' to the end of her statement.
"All I see here is some mumbo-jumbo...ohhhh! Oh ho ho ho! Not so fast there!"
"Someone's got a fakie!" Duncan shouted as he snatched the card out of Bann's hand.
"Didn't even bother to put real words on it, didja? Figure we don't look at 'em long enough, eh?"
"YOU FOOLS!" Franziska shouted, boiling over with rage. "That's a German driver's licence!"
"Well, here in the U.S. of A., we drive on the RIGHT side of the road," Duncan said condescendingly.
"Hah hah hah, I get it!" Bann said, laughing obnoxiously, "The right side! Like it's 'right' 'cause it's American and it's also-"
"I demand my phone call this instant!" Franziska shouted, causing Duncan to drop the bag of candy he was holding.
"God Jesus, would it kill you to be a little nicer?" Bann replied, walking over to the wall. He took a cordless phone from the wall and passed it through the bars to Franziska, along with a small metal key.
"You might wanna take those handcuffs off first," he said. Franziska did so before he finished his sentence, throwing the key across the room.
"That wasn't too nice," he muttered, running to retrieve the key.
"OH MY GOD, 'COPS' IS ON!" Duncan shouted, tearing out of the room.
"Yeah, fine, go watch your show while I do the boring stuff!" Bann shouted, stuffing the handcuff key in his pocket.
"I wish we'd had that camcorder of yours with us today!" Duncan's voice said faintly from another room.
"When are you gonna buy your own!?" Bann shouted, shaking his head as he turned back to his paperwork. Franziska observed him silently reading aloud, frowning when he came to certain words.
Who to call, she thought, running the possible scenarios through her head.
That incompetent scruffy detective, perhaps? No, I can only imagine the potential for disaster. If he didn't get lost on the way here, he'd probably still... Wait, I don't think he even owns a car. I certainly wouldn't expect him to have one capable of leaving the city, what with his current salary.
If only Papa was still here, she thought, laughing to herself as she pictured her father traumatizing the two policemen over the phone. But he'd probably be most unsympathetic. Franziska recalled the numerous times he'd deliberately avoided spending time with her during the holidays by giving her large sums of money and claiming he was busy. Hmph, I never really wanted to spend time with him anyhow. She sighed in irritation, putting the thought of him out of her mind to concentrate on the situation at hand.
Miles Edgeworth, then. He's certainly capable of bailing me out. But what an embarrassment it would be. She could only imagine the interminable, horrid silence she'd face when she had to speak to him. What would he think of me? That I willingly committed some thoughtless violation of some foolish law? That I'm an intellectually-inferior fool? I can't indebt myself to him. Hm, at least I have him to call if another, less...embarrassing...option doesn't exist.
The horrid smooth jazz that had been winding its way through the room from a radio on the front desk faded out, only to puncture the silence with an ear-splitting series of commercials, voiced as loudly and quickly as possible.
"Hurry up with that phone, sister," Bann said, "I want to call in a request."
Franziska glared back at him. Bann quickly returned to shuffling his papers.
She punched in the numbers as quickly as possible, her heart pounding in her ears as she heard the phone ring numerous times.
Pick up, damn you...
"Helllooo?" said a cheerful female voice on the other end. Franziska frowned, hanging up.
Wrong number, perhaps.
She dialed the number again, more slowly this time.
"Hello?" the same voice inquired.
"This is Miles Edgeworth's office, correct?!" she said, sounding more irate than she'd intended.
"Yes, Mr. Edgeworth is in court right now," the voice replied. Some crunching noises punctuated the spaces between sentences.
"Then what are you doing answering his phone?"
"Well it was ringing pretty loud, and I was just passing by, so-"
"Just tell him to call this number when he gets in. It's urgent."
Franziska hung up before the child could protest.
What is it with him and those schoolgirls, anyhow!?
Bann gingerly took the phone from where Franziska had tossed it onto the floor.
"Looks like someone's gonna be stayin' overnight," he mumbled, suppressing the urge to snicker at Franziska's irritation.
Crumbs on the desk and the chair. Several long brown hairs on the floor. Some sheets of paper carelessly torn off of his customized legal pad and scribbled on.
Who has been in my office, Edgeworth thought, too tired and detached to become overly concerned.
He picked up the sheets of paper, reading them quickly. The first note was written in a curvy script, with several smiling faces drawn lazily into the margins.
Hi Mr. Edgeworth! I was walking by your office and your phone was ringing a lot, so I answered it and took a message for you.
Ema
That lab coat-wearing schoolgirl, he thought after a few minutes of trying to put a face with the name on the note. Edgeworth examined the second piece of paper.
A woman called and said to call her back ASAP, you can check the caller ID for the number. It was from "FAIRVIEW POLICE DEPT."
He immediately dialed the number, wondering who in Fairview could possibly need such urgent assistance from him.
"Fairview Police," answered the voice on the other end. The garbled, static-filled sounds of a TV set in the background intruded on the silence between his words.
"Miles Edgeworth. I received a call from your department earlier today which I was instructed to return as soon as possible."
"What?"
Edgeworth sighed in irritation, repeating his request.
"Hold on a minute." A loud noise sounded in the receiver. Edgeworth moved the phone away from his ear, glaring at the receiver.
"Sorry, Mister, it was this girl we took into custody today. Here, I'll put her on."
"Give me that phone," a familiar voice snapped.
"Franziska," Edgeworth said, half-stupefied, half-bemused.
"I need you to come bail me out. I'll explain later. All I can say is..."
He heard her sigh tensely as she organized her thoughts.
"...this is all due to the foolish actions of these fools-"
"I'll be there shortly," he interrupted. "But one question...what's the charge?"
"A parking violation...among other things."
"All right. I'll leave as soon as possible."
The flatness of his tone disturbed her. As usual, it was nearly impossible to read his opinions. Outside of the courtroom he rarely showed any strong emotions. How she envied that part of him, wishing she could narrow her emotions to a suitable degree, becoming all the more capable of striking fear into the hearts of her opponents.
What an embarrassment, she thought, the melancholy notion of "perfection" she had once valued above her own life floated around inside her head. Yet another horrid stain on my record. But, she mused, her usual scheming nature returning, unlike my losses in the courtroom, this is easily correctable. A couple of well-placed bribes in the hands of a couple of well-placed people...
"Let's not have all this ill will circling around, hm?" Franziska said, injecting her words with a cheerfulness so pronounced it was painful for her to hear.
"What's that?" Bann said, stapling some papers together absentmindedly.
"One thousand dollars."
"Hmm..."
"Each."
"What?"
"I will give you and your partner...one. thousand. dollars. each," Franziska said quietly, punctuating the words with a smirk.
"For what?"
"Never mind!"
"I don't understand, we just arrested you. Why would you want to pay...Oh! Wait! You're trying to pay your bail? Why didn't you say so earlier? But wait, why do you want to split up the money between us?"
"YOU FOOL! I WAS TRYING TO-"
"Oh. OH! Oh ho ho ho, not today. The Fairview Police Department is bribe-free since 2010. Just pay your bail and be done with it."
"Not while this ridiculous charge remains," a quiet, dignified voice said.
"Can I help you?" Bann said cheerfully, turning towards the figure that entered the doorway.
"It's about time," Franziska muttered, looking at her watch. Was it really a two-hour drive this time of night?
Duncan emerged from the other room, yawning as he dumped an empty box into the trashcan. He froze in place like a deer in headlights as he saw Edgeworth standing in front of the door, apparently stupefied by his important-looking nature.
"Hello, sir," he mumbled, looking at the floor.
Edgeworth dropped a stack of papers on the counter, a check for a substantial sum of money resting on top.
"I think you'll find that this whole incident is somewhat frivolous," he said, smiling confidently.
Bann quickly read through the papers, scratching his head in embarrassment.
"Why, er...of course, Mister...Edgeworth...of course Miss von Karma can leave right away. Sorry, I had no idea. Really."
Franziska sighed, avoiding eye contact with Edgeworth as Duncan unlocked the cell door.
"Where did you fools have my car towed to?" she asked, rearranging the contents of her shopping bag.
"A lot somewhere in the city," Bann said. "We don't have any towing companies here. You'd think we would, what with the constant parking problems around-"
"Just tell me where it is!"
"Star Towing, 55th Street," Bann blurted out, fearfully eyeing the whip in Franziska's hand.
She followed Edgeworth outside without a word, glaring back at the police station.
To be continued.
Author Notes
It turned so serious halfway through. Perhaps Franziska's anguish is starting to affect the mood. I suppose it's not as much of a fun-filled romp as it was at the beginning. But change is good, no? Either way, I'm starting to think I categorized this story incorrectly. D'OH!
There will be more, sooner or later. And it will contain hijinks of the variety featured at the beginning of this fic. And there will be blood. Or at least a couple of good bruises and some whiplash.
--Sparrow Townshend