Stunned silence filled the dining room of Seventeen Cherrytree Lane, mostly on account of all of us being stunned. First I 'ear the Doctor say 'e's come for his missus, the next we find out that missus was our Mary Poppins! You might've thought in the years I'd known 'em both they might've let that little tidbit slip, but this shocking news came as just as much surprise to my own self as it did the rest of the Banks household.
"Will somebody give me the meaning of this!?" Old George roared like a lion as 'e stormed the hallways. 'Twas all he knew how to do in situations like this short of going mad. "Dr Smith, you will explain the meaning of this intrusion at once and then you will leave my family to dine in peace!"
"Not until I have what I came for," the Doctor injected, still laying 'is gaze heavily on our Mary.
Mary, of course, never a hair out of place, kept 'er same staunch composure. She glared back at the Doctor, same way as she would to chastise a child. Ooh, 'e was in for it now. "May I remind you, Doctor, that I am not your property, nor have you and I been husband and wife for a very long time."
The Doctor, still keeping an even 'ead about him, didn't flinch for a moment. I tell you, you could cut the tension across that table with a knife. "Perhaps so," 'e says, "but that doesn't excuse you from the responsibilities you have elsewhere."
Her eyes flared, revealing a side to our Mary Poppins that we'd not seen before. Certainly we'd seen 'er cross, miffed, frustrated, hot under the collar, peeved, annoyed, disgruntled, irritated, irked, pained, offended, resentful, nettled and, if you don't mind my saying, downright indignant. Yet never to this day 'ad we ever actually seen her angry.
'Bout that time George Banks flew back into the conversation, ready to shoot steam out of 'is ears. "Will somebody please explain to me what is going on? I demand answers at once or I shall be forced to call a constable!"
"Come now, George, there really is no need for that," Winifred appealed to him. "This seems rather a private matter and it would be frightfully rude to invite the police into it."
Mary Poppins' shoulders tensed as 'er eyes flashed hot pokers at the Timelord opposite 'er. "I'm terribly sorry for this intrusion, Mr Banks, and I take full responsibility for this man's actions."
"I can take responsibility for myself, thank you," flared the Doctor calmly as 'e stood and bowed apologetically to the 'ouseholders. "Mary, come along. I would hate to have to cause a scene."
"I'm afraid you've already done that," seethed Ol' George, "storming in here and bringing scandal to our table. It's unheard of!"
Might I say that by this point I was finding myself a mite bothered as well. Best perhaps that I stand back and be a fly on the wall for this one. Still I was perplexed by the revelation: the Doctor and Mary Poppins, 'usband and wife. The very thought was, well, there's no word for it save supercalifragilisticespialadocious!
The Doctor collected himself. At the moment 'e probably figured 'e was a little too impatient to play the diplomat, so 'e'd just have to try again. "Mary, perhaps you and I should have this discussion somewhere more private so that we can leave these good people to their meal."
"Anything that can be said to Mary Poppins behind closed doors can be said to us as well," protested Jane, however improperly.
"Doctor, there is quite simply nothing to discuss," she said with her perfectly sparkling smile. "Now, with our host's permission I would gladly ask for you and Bert to stay and join us, otherwise I would ask that you please leave us in peace."
"Absolutely not," Ol' George huffed. "While Bert is a family acquaintance and is always welcome, this man, Dr Smith, has done nothing but introduce more tedious melodrama with his every utterance. I will not tolerate his presence a moment longer!"
I must say, I appreciated the sentiment. The bird on the table would certainly find a good home in my rumbling stomach, and the smell from the foyer 'ad left me smacking my lips from the moment I'd arrived.
"Please, father," Jane asked gently as 'er eyes flickered between George an' their guest. "It's Christmas Eve and we should be striving for peace among men. I'm sure Dr Smith didn't intend to cause a fuss."
"Jane, I have already made up my mind."
"George," pleaded Winifred. She needn't 'ave said anything, o' course, to make 'er message heard, an' Ol' George heard it loud and clear as 'e sighed and returned calmly to his seat.
"Very well," 'e resigned and called me over with a glance.
I couldn't help but rub my 'ands together enthusiastically at the sight of that turkey. If you'd've asked me a few hours ago I would've said my Christmas feast were a can of baked beans, but you know it would still be there tomorrow night.
"Much appreciated, gov," I said as I filled out the spare seat. All that glorious food: where did they get it from? If I didn't know better I'd almost say it was Mary Poppins' work.
Spooning out ladles of vegetables and salad along with a choice cut of bird I anticipated a full belly by the end of the night, and you know, if I hadn't've looked up from the generous meal at that very moment I might've missed a whole other scene unfurling right under our very noses.
Jane stared at the Doctor with almost childlike curiosity. The Doctor, 'e stared back and smiled, so Jane turned away and blushed. It only took her a moment to dare look back again, examining the stranger in the same cunning way that a cat might. This made the Doctor grin wider and Mary Poppins, curiously enough, scowl.
What followed was a furious exchange of hard blinks between the Doctor and his former missus, and none of them seemed very friendly. It was quite a display that none of us rightly felt that we should call attention to, save our Jane of course who decided to parrot them playfully by blinking in my direction. Well, what else could a gentleman do but oblige a lady?
Of course Ol' George would have none of it and cleared 'is throat. "If you don't mind my asking, Dr Smith, if you are not a doctor of medicine, then what pray tell are you a doctor of?"
"All manner of things," Mary Poppins stated. "The Doctor is quite learned in many areas of expertise."
George furrowed 'is moustache and bowed 'is head. "Thank you, Mary Poppins, but if you don't mind I believe I asked Dr Smith that question." What 'e meant to say, though, through all of 'is proper ways was 'thank you, Mary Poppins, but you've brought quite enough trouble to this table this evening.'
The Doctor touched 'is napkin to 'is lips and folded 'is hands. "I'm afraid, Mr Banks, that for the sake of security I cannot reveal that information."
Mary rolled 'er eyes. What a load of hogwash, she thought! I dunno, though: the Doctor sounded pret-ty serious from where I was sitting.
"I see," George observed starkly. A cold shiver ran down 'is spine as 'e realised he might have been a little out of 'is depth. "You aren't here... on behalf of the war council, are you?"
"As it happens I am here on behalf of the council," 'e said to 'im, but also most pointledly to Mary.
She smiled to the retired banker, probably to disarm 'im further. Oh, that Mary Poppins could be a tricky one, and she'd 'ad George Banks wrapped around 'er little finger most of 'is life! "It's alright, Mr Banks. I can assure you that everything is quite alright."
"Everything is not alright, Mary," The Doctor said out of turn, not that it mattered now. Nobody at that table would dare speak against either of them. "Look around you. There's a ruddy war going on! And is much as I'd love to oblige you, you simply cannot stay here. Please, do the right thing and come back with me."
Silence, it seemed, was the real honoured guest this Christmas. The rest of us could only sit and watch as things played out before our very eyes. Something was going on 'ere, that was for certain, and that something was very important, probably not just for our great Britannia, but for all of everything everywhere.
Mary Poppins straightened 'er neck like a gazelle and nodded curtly to the Doctor. She 'ad only one word for 'im, and that word was "no."
TO BE CONTINUED...