"Mary Poppins has a daughter?" Jane exclaimed excitedly. It was as though she'd just learned she had a long lost baby sister the way her face lit up. Even after all these years I could still see the child in 'er I first met.
I hushed her and pressed myself against the wall, anxious to hear every word the Doctor and Mary Poppins 'ad to share.
Oh, in all my years knowing them I'd certainly known that they'd been 'usband and wife... once. But that was long in the past. Something to do with some sort of tradition from some place I knew not all that much about.
The Doctor was in a huff. Of course, it was a different to 'is other huffs, and was a mite more understated than the huffs of all the other blokes who called themselves 'Doctor', but you could tell all the same that 'e was getting irate.
"We're a part of events now. We'll just have to wait for things pan out," our Mary stated quite plainly, though 'er meanin' I didn't quite grasp. All that complicated gobbledygook that she had no time to ramble about, we just called it magic.
Though 'e opened his mouth to speak Mary Poppins would hear none of it. "Now if you'll excuse me, I shan't interrupt festivities by making everyone else wait."
"You're being careless," the Doctor said in a dark whisper. I paused, and truth be told I'd never 'eard 'im being so serious before, even in the face of certain death, and Mary Poppins responded in kind.
"Unhand me, Doctor, this very instant!"
"You'll break time."
Jane pried 'erself from the wall, ready to pounce on the uninvited guest like a tiger. After all, who was 'e to talk to Mary Poppins in such a way? Her 'usband? No, not even that gave 'im the right to manhandle 'er the way it sounded like.
And much as I wanted to run in and go 'hang on' myself, I knew I couldn't, and neither could Jane. This was between the Doctor and Mary Poppins, a Time Lord and a Time Lady in the heart of a very delicate situation to do with this mysterious daughter they'd eluded to.
"Time," Mary Poppins continued, "can be left to its own devices. There's more at stake here, Doctor, than I think even you realise."
"All I care to remember is that the Daleks are inches away from ending the universe itself, and you abandoned your post."
"Well, it's not like you to ignore the bigger picture," she huffed back at 'im. Then, she stopped, as if suddenly she realised something. I can only imagine that she'd gone wide eyed right then. "You don't think we're going to survive this. Not you, but everyone. You think they could win."
Jane bowed 'er 'ead. For all she knew 'the Daleks' were some kind of German weapon, and probably best she thought that too. Me, on the other 'and knew that there was more going on out there than there was in mother England.
"Theta Sigma..."
"Doctor," 'e corrected 'er politely, not wanting to lose 'imself in old sentiment. "Mary, things aren't going to change here. History has already decided this. And you can't just run away from the front lines. They've noticed. So it's either you come with me, or..."
"Or face the entire Celestial Intervention Agency," she sighed. There was something strange about 'er I couldn't quite put my finger on: something about 'er tone. I'd never heard it from 'er before, and to tell you the truth it unnerved me some.
Jane gasped and stared blankly at the black and white tiles in front of her. "She knows she has to go," she whispered faintly. That's when I knew what I'd heard: the sound of defeat. The thought of losing Mary Poppins weighed heavily on our Jane, so she went running off back to the dining room to take comfort from 'er family.
"I'm glad it was you, Doctor," Mary mused warmly, "and with this face. It suits you. What is this? Your sixth body?"
"Eighth."
"Oh my. You're getting on a bit."
"Well, at least I still haven't traded in my trusted type 40 for the sports model."
"She would never forgive you for that." The two of 'em laughed, suddenly so easy with the grimness that had brought the Doctor to the Banks house on Christmas Eve. But you know, it's like the Bard said, 'custom hath made it in them the property of easiness' which means, for all you laymen and ladies out there, that they'd seen enough of this sort of thing to not let it bother 'em.
"I'd best gather my things then," said Mary who walked solemnly around the corner to where I was standing. She eyed me pleasantly, then held open a newspaper clipping which I was unsure of taking.
She disappeared up the stairs, leaving me alone with that tiny scrap that held such forbidden knowledge. I needn't have read very far: the words 'last night', 'surprise aerial attack' and 'Cherrytree Lane' as well as the date, 'December 26, 1943' told me all I needed to know.
I stood, absolutely stupefied. The walls around me seemed to be closing in. All of this, in a matter of hours, would be gone. Mary Poppins wanted to save it, but the Doctor, for whatever reason the Doctor does things, 'ad to stop her.
"What are you going to do with that, Bert?" The Doctor, 'is stare fixated on me, waited impatiently for an answer.
"Do?" I gaped, tears welling in my eyes. "What would you 'ave me do, Doctor?"
"Believe me, I don't want this," 'e pleaded, "but history cannot be changed. This is supposed to happen. The alternative... would be catastrophic!"
Not that I wanted to lend 'im my ear. Didn't matter who 'e was, I didn't want to hear 'im. Time might be complicated, but my thoughts were simple enough. "This house... number seventeen Cherrytree Lane... it's filled with good people, Doctor. George Banks might be a bit of an old grump, but 'e's a good, kind man with a loving family, and none of them deserve to die."
"Death is just another part of life," 'e argued dimly, though I'd 'ave none of it.
"Oh, I understand, Doctor, but that doesn't mean I 'ave to like it. Now if you don't mind, dinner's still waiting on the table."
"You don't have to stay."
No, 'course I didn't, but knowing what I knew I couldn't just stand by and let a family die alone. That might 'ave been selfish of me, I admit, but outside this house I didn't 'ave much else anymore... 'cept my own cousins and nieces and nephews, which I suddenly thought would miss their old uncle Bert if anything 'appened to 'im.
I marched toward the dining room, letting the Doctor know exactly what I thought of 'im as I kicked my feet back. There they were: George, Winifred and Jane, sitting and waiting patiently for the rest of us to return.
"'Scuse me, gov, but... I'm afraid I've got to go as well."
"So soon?" deflated Winifred, and I nodded to her ''fraid so'.
George stood and shuffled to my side, then reached out to shake my 'and. If I weren't mistaken that was a whole twenty quid in there, a Christmas treat in light of all the good work I'd done cleanin' out 'is chimney.
"Merry Christmas, Bert," he said, "and do come back to see us soon."
What a sweet guy, I thought. I'm not ashamed to admit that I squeezed out a few tears as I wandered away from the front doorstep, all the while feeling too guilty to ever spend the twenty pound note in my fingers. It was his final gift to me and 'e didn't even know it.
Somehow I thought I should 'ave warned 'im or something, but knew they shouldn't live their final moments in fear. That would take away something even more precious from them than their very lives.
I stood in the park and watched the house. I couldn't bring myself to walk away. Doing that seemed disrespectful somehow, so I stayed and leaned on a tree stripped bare by the cold.
Finally out came the Doctor and Mary Poppins, both walking silently away from number seventeen. In front of her Mary cradled her famous carpet bag, the one filled with a solution to every problem but this.
"I'm sorry," 'e said to her, probably for the 'undredth time that night. Much as 'e said 'e didn't want this, 'e didn't do nothing to fix it, either.
Mary Poppins carried her head high and kept that stiff upper lip of 'ers. Good on you, Mary. Don't take any of his guff. "I understand, Doctor, there's a natural order and it's not my place to tamper with it. To do so would be disastrous."
I remember once, back when 'e was a curly 'aired chap, the Doctor saying that 'the laws of time and space exist regardless of human morality' or some such. But that was just 'im, always full of big words to rest 'is troubled soul. That was assuming 'e had one.
From above there came the unmistakable sound of the fighter planes, threatening to unleash terrible death on old London town. This was it: it 'ad to be, and I was waiting for it carrying my dread like an anvil. A moment later the air raid siren screamed out through the city. I didn't bother to hide, and instead chose to watch the black sky to see if I could spot the enemy.
Suddenly there was a loud crash, the likes of which I'd never heard before! I felt the ground shake beneath my feet, and a moment later heard the incredulous cry of George Banks from within 'is dining room: "What in the blazing devil was that!?"
Nearby the Doctor glared at the cloud of dust rising up from the house, and like me 'e was probably wondering: where was the fire? Where was the explosion? There were none of these things, making it seem like the Germans were dropping pianos on us instead of bombs.
Running for the door Mary Poppins stopped only to scowl back at me. "Well, Bert? Are you coming along or not?" That alone snapped me out of my daze, and for a moment it felt just like old times. Just as confusing, too.
The Doctor meanwhile, shook 'is head heavily. "Oh no."
TO BE CONTINUED...