Author's Note: Wow I haven't updated in forever! It's cause the cruise internet was extremely expensive, 75 cents per minute! And after I came back I was packed with homework. And then I had two finals to study for. One song that really inspired this chapter, and don't hit me cause it's not a '70s song, is Signs by Bloc Party. Anyways, I watched "The Goonies" today, which is one of my all-time favorites. I have always had the biggest crush on Brand (Josh Brolin). Rumor has it a second one is in the talks. Can you guys tell me you wouldn't watch that? I would love to see it. Anyways, I wasn't really feeling this story for a while and I have to make a lot of decisions as to how the plot will go, so bear with me!
ShatteredDecember 12, 1982. New York City. 7:26 PM.
Lights. Everywhere. It was one of the reasons she loved this city the most. The energy was hypnotic; it floated into your veins, pulsing through you, lifting you up off of the ground. The people were of a various range, some crazy, others nice, old, young, black, white, brown, apathetic, cultured, playful, mischievous, caring, sullen, intelligent, uninhibited. It was all here. Everyone was their own person, and she could get lost amongst the people to see and places to go.
As Jackie made her way through Central Park, she could smell the sweet fragrance of pine and cinnamon. As she inhaled, it drifted through her body, enrapturing her in the sweet tones of winter. And unlike any other city, any place she had ever been to, there was always a sense of community here. Everyone went to Central Park around Christmas. Everyone watched the ball drop for New Years in Times Square.
She felt as though everyone was working together here, more than she had in Point Place, and she barely knew anyone here. She had known the whole town of Point Place and still she never felt the kinetic connection of people here. Here, she had a few friends, those who lived in her apartment building, those she worked with, and the ones who worked at the stores she frequented. She also had Julian. But besides that, she had no one else.
Shattered, shattered
Love and hope and sex and dreams
Are still surviving on the street
Look at me, I'm in tatters!
I'm a shattered
Shattered
She hadn't seen her friends from Point Place in about two years. Donna called at most once every month, checking in on Jackie. Her calls had dwindled slowly since the time Jackie had moved away. Kelso had called recently. He and Brooke were heading up, but that call had been a week ago and she hadn't heard from him since. She did occasionally write with Eric, but that was kept secret from everyone else.
It was strange how two people who detested each other could end up finding common ground.
And that had happened more than once in her life.
She hadn't spoken to Steven J. Hyde since the night she left. She didn't try to contact him, nor did he make an effort to speak with her. The last she'd heard from Eric was that he spent his days off with trashy girls and his nights drinking or focusing on the circle. Sam hadn't come back.
Kelso was still in Chicago, and he and Brooke were expecting their second. So much for that Molly Hatchet concert being a mistake.
Fez had been upgraded from Shampoo Boy to an official hairdresser. Supposedly he was enjoying the single life, hitting the bars often to pick up chicks. He and Hyde had become close since Kelso was gone.
Donna was still on the radio station, taking night classes at the local community colleges. She was saving up to go to college in California.
But other than that, none of them had changed. Jackie, and surprisingly Kelso, had been the only ones smart enough to escape the town they had called home in their earliest years.
Friends are so alarming
My lovers never charming
Life's just a cocktail party on the street
Big applePeople dressed in plastic bags
Directing traffic
Some kind of fashion
Shattered
"What are you thinking about?" Jackie turned towards the musical voice of Julian. He was tall and lanky, built somewhat like Kelso. He had his dark brown hair shorn in a messy style, his deep brown eyes crinkling in concern. He was cute, no girl could deny that, with his model looks and adorable demure. The moment she had met him, Jackie had no power in resisting him.
"Just… people I used to know. Point Place. I haven't been there in forever. Daddy should be posting parole soon so I'll have to… go back."
Julian's light smile turned down slowly at the corners. He always showed more concern over her situation with her father than anyone of her other friends had. When they had first met, he was perfectly content with listening to her stories. Stories of her family life growing up. How they had been broken up like a mirror crashed to the ground. Her trials with Kelso. Fez' obsession with her. Her friendship with Donna. Steven.
But she no longer liked to delve on the past. Rarely could Jackie be heard speaking of her life before New York. Julian would notice it every once in a while, when she would slip up and speak about it, or when her eyes would crinkle in the fond emotions of memories past.
Jackie and Julian continued down 5th Avenue, marveling over the festively decorated stores. Images of whimsical smiles, sounds of mischievous laughter, the smells of cinnamon, all passed by Jackie. For the first time in two years, she let her mind wander, moving with small footsteps down the long road home to face ghosts of lives past, turning its back towards the broad, fathomless horizon of the future.
December 12, 1982. Forman's Driveway. 8:32 PM.
Snow was drifting down through the sky, small beacons of light pressed against the blackness of night. It rained down upon Eric and Donna's faces, but it didn't matter. They were lying on the hood of the Vista Cruiser, reveling in each other's silence. It had been so long since they had felt this comfortable in the quiet of the other.
Donna was the first to speak. She cleared her throat.
"Do you think… we should try to find Jackie this Christmas?" She was always the first to ask. Bold as ever. It had been two years since they saw each other. She had written but her letters had come to a close as her life got busier and busier. Jackie had promised she would visit them last Christmas but they hadn't seen or heard a word from her after that. She never even came.
"It's already been a year and we haven't seen or heard any signs of her… Donna I think she doesn't want to talk to any of us." Forman knew it wasn't right keeping it secret from Donna that he talked to Jackie through their missives, but he couldn't bring himself to break that bond he had formed with Jackie.
Her last letter had arrived three days earlier. It was all very Jackie, but her words had lost the zest of the feisty girl Eric had come to known his whole high school life. She didn't gush about her feelings, her shopping lists, the bitches who lived in the city. It was just an update on her life. He was lucky to have her even picking up a pen and sending affection back towards her home town. The only time she was spirited towards him was in her closings. She usually wrote something conceited like Yours Never (Because You're too Skinny), Jackie. It was all that kept him thinking she was still herself and fine as she was.
Dear Eric,
I am so excited. It's Christmas! Julian and I might be coming home to visit daddy. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone. We'd only be there for a few days.
Daddy will be posting bail soon. How is everyone? I wish I could be there but facing all of it would just… be too hard.
Maybe you should come up to New York some time. You could bring Donna. Just don't tell her about our letters. She would get angry. You know how she is. And then you might throw a toaster.
You'll never guess what happened. Michael rang up the office a couple days ago and surprised me. He said he's coming to NY because Brooke has always wanted to go.
It was completely out of the blue. I haven't spoken to him since Christmas two years ago. Julian is going out of town for a week around Christmas, so you guys should maybe venture up here. I never get to spend the holidays with anyone. If you guys do want to come up, call me beforehand. And don't bring Hyde or Fez. Please.
Y.M.F.F. (Your Most Fabulous Friend),
Jackie
P.S. You're still too skinny!
"She still lives in New York right?"
"I think so…" Eric replied with as much convincing cluelessness as he could.
"Maybe we should go visit her." Donna was pressing it. She hadn't had too many close friends after Jackie had left. She hadn't had any best friends.
Eric thought about Jackie's letter. She said they could come up.
"Maybe we should…"
________________________________________________________
December 12, 1982. Hyde's Apartment. 11:13 PM.
"Okay I have a very good one. I have never lit fire to a police academy!"
"Aw, Fez, man! I told you, I had to fight fire with fire!" Kelso's eyes darted between Hyde and Fez as their tongues hung out goofily. He had been there the last two days with Brooke, deciding to pay a visit to the gang before he headed out to New York. Kelso lifted the small glass shot glass, imprinted with a memoir of Cancun, Mexico. He raised the edge to his lips and downed the alcohol. His tongue was immediately overwhelmed with the zingy taste, and the liquor burned its way down into his stomach, settling there.
They had smoked two joints already, and were now into their third round of a game of "I Never". The room was in an endless cloud of haze.
Hyde's apartment was fairly small and barely decorated. Typical him. It wasn't bad to look at though. The place was somewhat organized, the walls white. Records were piled up against the wall, his record player spinning in the corner of the room to the sounds of "Four Sticks".
The muted light of the TV splayed out onto Hyde's carpet; the volume was turned down to a near-mute as the "Thriller" music video danced along the screen. Hyde had no idea why people liked it so much. Seeing Michael Jackson, wearing some stupid red jacket like the 'Stuntman' one Mrs. Forman had once bought him, dancing around with zombies would never compare to even just hearing Zeppelin play over the radio.
Kelso seemed to enjoy it because he screeched in that well-known, high pitch voice of his and ran over to the record player, picking the needle up off the record it to silence it.
"Hey man, what the fuck I was listening to-" Hyde yelled.
"Shhhhh!!!!" Kelso continued his journey, spinning around to head towards the TV. He hit the volume buttons impatiently until Michael Jackson's poppy voice was almost at screaming level in the apartment. Kelso picked up his feet and began doing the infamous moves of the video. Hyde shook his head. He had no idea why he was friends with this loser.
Fez couldn't contain the goofy grin that spread across his face, and he decided to join in with Kelso.
Those two were so in love. But a bro-mance love. The admiring way Fez looked at Kelso was so priceless.
Hyde scooted himself back on the carpet until his back was pressed against the wall, and lolled his head back. He closed his eyes and thought about how everything was the same as it always had been. And it satisfied him, but he always wondered it anything would change. It had changed for Jackie.
Jackie. It had been so long since he'd seen her. He'd heard about her in passing a few times, especially lately. Kelso was talking about going to visit her. He'd heard she been dating some guy named Jeff or Josh or something like that. And though he would never admit it, he wanted to see her. He missed her. He wished he could go up with Kelso to New York.
And maybe he would.
December 12, 1982. New York City. 11:48 PM.
Jackie and Julian had made it back to the apartment late; they had spent a few hours shopping for Christmas presents. By the time they had made it back to Jackie's apartment, their lust for each other was almost palpable. The whole cab ride back she had teasingly trailed her hands up and down his thigh, occasionally catching his eye with that wicked smile of hers.
And every time he would try to lean in close and kiss her, she would pull away. And then she would continue to tease him. She loved being chased and he was driven wild by her taunting games.
They stumbled blindly down the hall, Julian's hands roaming feverishly across her body. By the time they made it to her door, her back was pressed up against the thick mound of wood and their lips were caught together in a passionate kiss.
"Mmm baby how am I going to open the door with you all over me?" Jackie giggled as Julian kissed her neck.
"Don't bother… we don't need to get inside. I don't think anyone will notice." Jackie's smile broadened at Julian's playfulness. She turned her back to him and pressed back against his chest, all the while searching her purse for the keys to her apartment. His hands massaged longingly through her hair, pushing it all onto her left shoulder so he could kiss her neck.
When Jackie finally got into the apartment, the stumbled straight into bed and spent hours in each other's passionate, longing embrace. Jackie loved making love. Each person was completely free of all barriers they put up in their lives. And after, they could be completely sweet and just enjoy the company of the other. It had been just like that with Steven.
Laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me, I'm in tatters
I'm a shattered
ShatteredWhen they made love it was one of the most passionate things she had ever experienced in her life. She could almost swear she felt hurricanes brewing, the polarity of the earth flipping, lava exploding. It was all there. And afterwards, they would choose to spend the hours talking and savoring each other's faces, or she would lie in his warm embrace in silence. It was very rare that she was completely quiet, and they were completely comfortable just enjoying each other's company.
So that night, as Jackie lay in Julian's strong arms, she closed her eyes and guiltily pretended that she was lying once again in Steven's embrace. Images of his rare smile, smells of him flooded her mind. She could never understand why how hard she tried, she could never get over him. She was always pulled back. He was her drug, and even after getting unhooked from him, she still had flashbacks. She had her relapses. Like that Christmas two years before. She wondered how long it would take before Steven, this potent elixir, would finally be gone from her system completely.
Ahhh, look at me, I'm a shattered
I'm a shatteredLook at me- I'm a shattered
XxxxxxX
December 13, 1982. New York City. 12:01 PM.
Hyde awoke the next morning, still against the wall on his floor. His clothes were the same as the night before and he smelled like beer and pot. In substance, he enjoyed the smell. On a person, they just reminded him of shattered lives and broken people.
Kelso and Fez were passed out on the couch; Kelso's mouth was hung open in an obnoxious snore. Fez' arms were tucked into himself like he was his only comfort.
Hyde picked himself up from the floor, the numbing pain of a hangover drilling its way into his head. What he needed was a shower. A long, warm shower.
After Hyde had finished the soothing shower, he dressed and made his way back out into the living room. He stood over Kelso and Fez and decided it was time to wake them up. He drew his hands back and frogged them on the arms — simultaneously— until they both startled awake.
"Wake up! Kelso, man, you gotta get to New York today!" At that, Kelso threw himself from the couch and made his way through the apartment picking up anything that was his and getting ready to make his way out to his car. By the time the three of them were ready to leave, they were all feeling the blinding pain of their hangovers.
That was the price they paid for a night with the want of a simple kind of pleasure.
As usual tradition, everyone made their way to the Forman house before Kelso and Brooke left for their trip. The gang was congregated in the driveway, waiting for Donna and Eric to come out to see Kelso and Brooke off. What took everyone by surprise was when Donna and Eric exited the house carrying suitcases. Everyone's face contained shock until it registered in their brains that Eric and Donna were obviously planning on going somewhere, and probably New York.
"Man, are you guys coming along?!" Kelso's face immediately lit up in excitement at the prospect of a buddy coming with him to share his stash with. Brooke never partook in the "circle time" and she especially couldn't now that she was pregnant. Donna and Eric just nodded. They had hoped they could hitch a ride in Kelso's van, but if not they would just follow him in the Vista Cruiser. It had been so long since any of them got out of Point Place. The excitement was ringing through the air, it was almost tangible to each one of the friends.
"Wait, what man, so I gotta be left here with Fez? Alone? No way. That's like making Zeppelin hang out with Donna Summer. I'm coming too." Eric groaned inwardly; it was exactly what Jackie hadn't wanted. Obviously Fez would jump on the band wagon too.
"We're staying at Jackie's too… but I don't think there will be enough room for you." Donna and Eric were grasping at strings to keep Fez and Hyde from coming.
"Naw, man it's cool, W.B.'s got a place down in Greenwich Village." Hyde wouldn't take no for an answer. Not only was the prospect of visiting a big city, with tons more stuff to do, exciting to him. He would also get to see Jackie. He knew their first encounter wouldn't be comfortable… or pleasant in the least. But he wanted to change that. After hearing about her for days, the prospect of being around her sounded great. He knew it wouldn't take long before she softened up to him once again. And then maybe he would have another shot with her. Hopefully she wasn't too serious about that Jeff guy. He didn't know how well he'd stand up next to some new infatuation with their traumatic history in the way.
"Fine man, but I would suggest staying away from Jackie." Eric was just trying to ruin this trip for him, Hyde thought.
"Why?" Steven inquired. He already knew the answer.
"Because I… just have a feeling that she won't be wanting to see you." Eric was always slightly ominous when he spoke about Jackie. Like he knew stuff she was doing or feeling, even miles away. None of the group had never picked up on his secretiveness. No one knew he wrote letters with her, except for Mrs. Forman. She had taken in the mail one time and found a letter written to him in a beautifully, loopy cursive writing. Immediately she knew it was a girl's. Thoughts of Eric cheating on Donna ran rampant into her mind so, as she would explain to Eric, she just had to read the letter.
It was her usual excuse of "I just happened to get the mail and your letter just fell into my hands and the note just sort of slipped out and I just so happened to read some of it because it was right there…" Mrs. Forman was always playing cheesy little games, playing dumb. She thought a lot of people around her were less observant. Her cheerful laugh and naïve ways were all what added to her charm. Eric had even gotten her once with, "You know that the word gullible is not in the dictionary!" It had taken her a while to realize she had been stooped; only after she spent her time glancing through Webster's Dictionary did she realize Eric's prank.
She had told Red that Eric wrote letters to Jackie, and Red didn't seem disapproving. No, instead, he almost seemed slightly happy. When he had found out, his lips had tugged up at the corner and he had mumbled something like "About damn time someone talked to that girl…" He was always so fond of Jackie, even if her talking was a little to incessant for his taste. He had hated seeing her so heart-broken. It was moments like these that Eric really made him proud and proved himself to be a good kid. He may have been lacking in the sports-ability department, but where he really proved himself was in his friendship. He time and time again proved himself to be caring, always looking out for the best interest of his friends. He was definitely the moral head on the gang's shoulders.
Hyde just rolled his eyes and shrugged. Only thirty minutes later did all the gang have their bags packed. Kelso and Brooke had decided to take Fez, and Hyde was riding in the El Camino. He wanted to have a getaway car incase things were boring, or somehow went extremely bad.
"Michael, where are you? I can barely hear you!" Jackie spoke loudly into the telephone receiver.
"We're at a rest stop at the border of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. We should be there in a few hours!"
"Why are there so many voices in the background? Who are you with?" Jackie thought she heard Hyde's voice saying "Whatever", but she couldn't be sure. She didn't think that Eric would do that to her.
"I told you Jackie, it's just me, Brooke, Eric, and Donna. We're in a restaurant at the rest stop so it's kinda crowded and noisy." Jackie could have easily detected Kelso's lie, but she could barely hear him and she was better at reading faces than voices.
"Okay, well hurry up and get back on the road. I can't wait to see you guys! I have to sit around in my apartment all day waiting for you to get here and I am bored out of my mind!" Jackie and Kelso continued short conversation exchanging jokes and small talk. Finally when Kelso finished the conversation, he hung up the phone and turned back to the gang.
"Well… what did she say?" Hyde asked. He was acting suspiciously anxious, as Donna and Eric noticed. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his shades placed on the bridge of his nose. He tapped his foot nervously; it was a twitch they knew well. It usually occurred when something was pressing him about Jackie.
"Oh, she just said that she wants us to hurry up because she can't wait to do it with me!" Kelso's arm was met with Hyde's fist, as in tradition. But it was a tradition that had stopped so long ago, when it was over Jackie. Kelso stared at Hyde in confusion and then shock, but shook it off. Hyde was acting strange and he wanted no part of the complication that was Jackie and Hyde.
The gang spent about 15 minutes at the rest stop and then made their way back onto the road. A few hours later, Jackie sat impatiently in her room, occasionally getting up to pace back and forth. She was so nervous. She hadn't been before. Her stomach kept on fluttering, replaying the phone call with Michael a few hours before. She should have been listening intently, trying to pick up on hints from Michael that someone else was coming. She could have sworn she heard Steven, but she wasn't going to keep her hopes up.
After minutes of analyzing speech fragments and voice inflections, she heard the doorbell ring. She squealed in excitement and ran towards the door, thrusting it open. Kelso stood at the front, Brooke with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Eric and Donna were behind them, Fez poking his head over their shoulders. Fez? That was a surprise. She didn't imagine he would come. But her eyes only glanced over her friends in the front. Because at the very back, Steven J. Hyde was standing with his back against the wall, hands in his jacket pockets. His shades were on and his lower lip was caught between his top and bottom teeth. His eyes were cast away, down the hall. One of his legs was on the ground, while the other was bent, his foot pressed back against the wall. He was the 'Rebel Without a Cause' of their generation, and Jackie had always loved his picture of coolness. It was perfect. She stared at him. Everyone expected her to be shocked and most likely yell, but all she did was stare, her eyes draining in the image of him. After years of training for her eyes, she was able to see through the dark tint of his glasses as his eyes slid across the wall and landed right on her. His lips parted in the most slight hint of desire and his body stiffened.
"Steven?"
Author's Note: So I hope you guys liked it! It was a little shorter than the earlier ones, but I am sooo tired and I have to get up early for Christmas shopping. I got really inspired at the end and couldn't stop. It was also so long since I updated and I didn't want you guys to lose interest. Don't worry, I won't take this long to update again. And I definitely won't abandon this story; I hate when people do that! If I ever make mistakes about details of places or something like that (names for example), please correct me! I don't want my things to be unbelievable. I read a fanfic once where a girl talked about the beaches in Palm Springs and I was like, what? There are no beaches in Palm Springs, it's a desert for Christ sake! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and a goodnight to all! Please review!