A/N: Again, sorry for the terribly long wait. But my semester is over now, so I have nothing better to do than write! Yay! Anyway, here's Chopper's idea. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. I wish I did, but, then again, Eiichiro Oda wouldn't be my God if that was true, now would he?

Rating: T

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The Boys Will Play

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The little doctor was so enamored and overly excited with his idea that he began to run all over the front of the deck screaming in glee. The rest of the men looked at him thoroughly expecting a reason for his lunacy. However, the longer Chopper continued to run, screaming happily, the more Luffy began to realize how fun just doing that would be. So, joining in, the crew now had two screaming idiots on their ship.

Of course, with a well placed kick from Sanji, that activity immediately ceased.

"What are you doing, Sanji?!" Luffy demanded incredulously, obviously irritated that his fun activity had come to a halt, "That was Chopper's idea, wasn't it?"

"Of course not, fool," Sanji replied, feeling not too confident that he was actually right about that, "Right Chopper?"

"Oh no," Chopper responded, nodding his head in agreement with Sanji, "That wasn't it. I was just excited."

"Obviously," Zoro said with laugh. It was hard for him to stay mad at the little doctor for too long.

"Okay, reindeer-gorilla, then what's the idea?" Franky asked, smile on his face, hands on his hips in obvious eagerness to do some fun activities this night.

"Let's play doctor!" Chopper exclaimed, his excitement showing clearly on his face.

"Doctor?" Usopp questioned, not sure how to approach this suggestion, "How do we 'play' doctor?"

"Simple!" Chopper exclaimed jumping up and down, excitement knowing no bounds, "I'll be the doctor and you'll all be my patients!"

"You know," Brooke began in a quiet whisper directed to no one in particular, "When I was younger, boys and girls played doctor together." The skeleton suggested the last word with obvious stress. And, had he had eyebrows to wiggle up and down suggestively, he would've been doing just that.

"Ah, I get you," Sanji replied, smiling, hand stroking his small beard.

"Unfortunately, I never had the chance to play that kind of doctor," Franky interjected with a slight frown, "Unless I wanted to 'operate' on Tom … which I did not."

"One problem here, guys," Zoro cut in, ignoring the small conversation that was taking place behind him involving Chopper, Luffy, and Usopp, "There are no women here to fulfill your perverted fantasies."

"Oi, Marimo," Sanji replied, crossing his arms, "You always ruin all the fun."

"How the hell did I ruin any fun? There were no women here to begin with when Chopper suggested the idea."

"Hey!" Luffy yelled, now entering the conversation as well, "One of us could pretend to be a woman!"

"You've been giving terrible suggestions all night," Usopp added, shaking his head, "I'm scared to see what your idea is going to be."

The crew, excluding Luffy, cringed openly at the thought at what Luffy could make them do; it was much too horrible to think about. But there was no time to dwell on what could be, as there was one very excited reindeer still waiting for his idea to be brought to life.

"Anyway, let's just shoot that suggestion down for now, ok Luffy?" Sanji finally spoke, releasing anyone whose thoughts were still pinning them to the horrors of what Luffy could be planning. "But this is Chopper's idea, so let's have him explain exactly what he wants."

All heads turned to Chopper, acknowledging Sanji's suggestion. "Well," the small doctor began, "Obviously, I'm going to be the doctor and you will be my patients, but …"

Everyone was fearing the but; not sure exactly what the reindeer was thinking, the men waited patiently as it seemed Chopper was having a slight internal conflict trying to address the issue.

"You see," he began again, causing the crew to lean closer in wonderment, "I'll need … well, I mean every good doctor has … well … an assistant."

"Assistant? Like a nurse?" Usopp asked, not understanding why Chopper wouldn't just come out and say it.

"Well, yes," Chopper replied, still looking uneasy.

The men of the Strawhat's looked at Chopper strangely. What could be making him feel so anxious? Then Luffy, seeming to get Chopper's train of thought, blurted out, "OH! So whoever is the nurse has to be the woman!"

Luffy's declaration rang throughout the ship and bounced off the walls, seeming to slam back into the group hard. "What?!"

"Yeah, nurses are girls, aren't they?" Luffy continued, smiling widely.

"Not all nurses are girls, Luffy," Usopp said sighing, "That's just a widely ignorant misconception."

"Well, you see," Chopper piped back in, "I've always wanted a lovely assistant to help me. You know, it would make me feel like a real doctor!" Chopper finished, smile wide and eyes sparkling.

"As great as that is, Chopper," Zoro said flatly, "There are no women here to fill that role."

"Oh yeah," Chopper responded, dejectedly.

"You jerk!" Sanji raged, pushing Zoro with a hand, "Look how sad you made him!"

"How's that my fault if I'm merely telling truth?!"

"Sanji's right, my green haired friend," Franky joined in, smiling fiercely, "I guess you'll just have to be the nurse to make it up to him."

"Hell no!" Zoro cried desperately, not liking the way the crew was slowly closing in on him.

"C'mon, Zoro," Luffy laughed menacingly, "You don't want to see even one of your nakama sad, do you?"

"In this case, I could care less," Zoro responded, finding it an unlikely escape as he was backed roughly into a wall.

"The more you fight it, the more terrifying this will be for you," Usopp chuckled evilly, feeling brave from the good odds he had against Zoro's one, "Why not just accept it?"

"Please Zoro?" Chopper asked, but it was becoming quite clear to Zoro that the only way he was getting out of this would be if he killed every one of them. And with Luffy on their side, it would be tough.

The last thing Zoro heard before his own screams filled the night sky was the almost silent laughter of Brooke's "Yohoho." But then they were on him, eyes filled with evil, and Zoro, with no other options, screamed.

-xox-

"How do you think they're doing?" Nami asked, soaking next to Robin in the spa.

"Hm? Why? Do you miss them?" Robin laughed, looking at the navigator.

"Nah," Nami responded, flicking a little water off to the side, "Well, I mean, they're all our nakama and I do miss them for that reason, but do I miss their child-like mannerisms and games, or their stubbornness, or their constant fighting? … No, not really."

Robin gave another laugh at this before adding, "Do you think they're killing each other out of pure boredom?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Nami laughed in response, "Ah, I'm sure they're fine. Probably just doing their own thing like usual."

-xox-

"I don't know, think it's a little short?"

"Chopper demanded beautiful assistant, and beautiful assistant he shall have."

"I believe he used the word 'lovely'."

"Lovely, beautiful. Same difference."

"I hate you all."

"You have to apply the make-up thinly, Franky!"

"Sorry, sorry. Like this?"

"Good, we don't want him to look like a whore."

"That ship has sailed."

"Bastard."

"Hahaha!! You look like a girl, Zoro!"

"This is almost the best day of my life!"

After the men had successfully gotten Zoro tied down nice and tight, they hoisted him to the galley where they could prepare him for his "lovely assistant" role in accordance to Chopper's whishes. And though the man fought the whole time, the crew had managed to get their swordsman all nice and prettied up enough to be considered the nurse for the evening.

"I still don't see why I had to wear anything besides what I already was wearing," Zoro fumed, not liking how his nakama's eyes were giving him the up and down.

"Because plain white shirt, boring black pants, and green haramaki don't exactly scream, 'Loveliness'," Sanji added, fixing the little nurse cap on Zoro's head.

"I must admit," Franky said with a smirk, "We did a damn good job."

"He's actually worth looking at now!"

"Shut the hell up, Sanji," Zoro snarled in reply to Sanji's comment, "Why did you have this anyway? Planning on wearing it someday?"

"Quite the contrary," Sanji smiled coyly, making Zoro frown all the more, "I fully intended to use this on one of you during a moment of dare or something. But this is even better! Who knew I'd get to use it so soon?"

Zoro turned his head to the side, blushing madly. He hated his whole crew right now, but especially Sanji. He swore that he would get what was coming to him.

"Well, let's start setting everything up!" Chopper exclaimed, excited that everyone was going to play doctor with him and he even had a nurse to assist him.

As the men began to gather tables and chairs to prep for a mock hospital, Zoro realized that he was going to have a hard time moving around in something like this. Skirt rising every time he took a step, high heels causing him to walk wobbly along the wood floor, the feeling of cosmetics on his face … he wasn't sure if he was going to survive this or not.

"How dishonorable."

-xox-

"Please! Someone help me!" Brooke cried, running into the fake hospital, limping frantically and screaming wildly, "I'm in serious trouble!"

It was the start of the game, and everyone was really getting into it. As Chopper prepped Zoro on what kind of tools there were and how he would alert him when he needed what and when, the remaining crew discussed with each other what kind of aliments they should suffer, thus playing the game as Chopper whished and still having some fun of their own.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?" Zoro asked, unenthusiastically.

"I'm … I'm … dying!" the skeleton crowed, grasping onto Zoro's legs as he fell to the floor.

"You don't say."

"Zoro! You need to at least act like you care!" Luffy demanded from behind the set, "Now start nursing!"

Sadden by the fact that Luffy demanded he play nice, he was now torn because he wasn't sure if that was a true order on behalf of his captain. But, knowing Luffy, it probably was. "Oh dear!" Zoro cried in his most convincing surprised expression, "Doctor! We need you right away!"

But when Chopper didn't emerge from the area designated as the doctor's office, Zoro called out once more, though with not nearly as much passion as there was annoyance, "Doctor! We need you now!"

"I can't go out yet!" a small voice emanated from the room, "I need a theme song first."

"Oi!" Zoro replied, smacking his hand to his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Usopp asked, stopping the rehearsal of his performance.

"Our dear doctor wants a damn theme song!" Zoro replied, trying to shake Brooke from his feet.

"A theme song? Why would he need that?" Franky asked.

"All the doctors you see on TV have theme songs!" Chopper replied, refusing to the leave his office.

"Those are fake doctors, Chopper!" Zoro yelled, finally prying Brooke from himself and chucking him at the room that Chopper was currently occupying.

"Someone just make up a theme, then," Sanji added, wanting to get this show on the road.

"I got one!" Luffy exclaimed, eyes bright with his newest idea.

"Fine, whatever, Luffy has an idea, and I think we should just let him do it," Sanji told Zoro, trying to quell the man's rage slightly.

"Ok, then let's use it. Chopper, you better be ready to come out!" Zoro threatened, successfully scaring the small reindeer.

"Um, yes!"

Getting back into position, the crew waited on Zoro's cue: "Doctor! We need you right away!"

"Sogeki no shima de, Umareta ore wa …" Luffy began to sing, causing all activity to come to a halt again.

"What?!"

"You can't use that!" Usopp raged, shaking Luffy harshly, "That's Sogeking's theme! It's designed specifically for him!"

"But I like it," Luffy whined, body shaking wildly.

"Oi … we should've known," Sanji sighed, not doing a thing to help Luffy.

"Actually, didn't know where he was headed," Franky added, watching as Usopp continued to lecture Luffy on Sogeking and his sacred song.

"Ok, I don't need a theme," Chopper related to the crew, deciding it best to just play his game before the rest of the crew decided against it.

After Usopp had finally let Luffy go, the activity came to life once more. And, this time, Chopper was just as happy to come when he was called then with a theme song or not.

So, Zoro tried once more, swearing that if he had to do even more time, someone was going to die. "Doctor! Please hurry! We need you!"

Chopper's tiny feet scurried across the deck to where Zoro and Brooke were currently. Then, in his best big, loud voice asked, "What seems to be the problem here, Nurse?"

And as much as Zoro didn't like being referred to as nurse, replied, "This man says he's dying, doctor!"

"Dying? Well, that certainly would be a problem. What seems to be the problem, sir?" Chopper finished leaning towards Brooke.

"Well, you see my good man, I'm …" Brooke began dramatically, raising a skeleton hand to the sky, "I'm already dead! SKULL JOKE!"

But Zoro wasn't having any of that, and crushed Brooke into the floor with his heel. "It seems the patient has fainted before he could tell you what was wrong, doctor! I'll put him in a room immediately."

And as Zoro stormed off, dragging a now injured Brooke with one hand, Chopper looked on with uncertainty, but decided to go with it. "Who's next?"

"Doctor, oh doctor," Sanji was next and came through the hastily built hospital doors, clutching his chest, "It's my heart, doc! I think it's … broken!"

"Oh no! A broken heart! That's a tough one," Chopper went along with Sanji's aliment, not knowing exactly how he was going to approach this one, "Nurse, please, another patient that needs to be put in intensive care!"

And when Zoro came out and saw that it was Sanji, he kinda wanted to run back to the hammock he had stuck Brooke in. "Oi. Come with me."

"But my heart's broken. I don't think I can walk any farther," Sanji played on Zoro's current state, milking the situation for all it's worth, "I guess you'll just have to carry me."

"Zoro," Chopper said sternly, taking his attention away from Usopp and Luffy who were now entering the "hospital" for a moment, "You do as the patient whishes."

"Nicely said, Doctor," Sanji cheered, giving Chopper a thumbs up, "You heard the man."

Hoisting Sanji over his shoulder, Zoro proceeded to the couch they had dragged up from the men's room to drop Sanji off, but before he could make it all the way, he heard Sanji whisper, "You have quite a fine ass, Nurse."

And now Sanji suffered from head trauma and fresh blood wounds in addition to his broken heart. "Here you are, Sir."

As Zoro was dealing with that, Chopper was having his hands full with Luffy and Usopp, "Now, explain the situation more calmly, Sir."

"My friend! He ate part of the table! He though it was meat, and I tried to warn him, but he just kept on eating, and eating, and eating!" Usopp wailed, holding a seemingly dead looking Luffy in his arms. "You gotta help him!!"

"He … ate the table?"

"Well, only parts of it."

"Never has meat betrayed me so," Luffy cried, making a dramatic scene in Usopp's arms, "Oh whoa as meat!"

"Erm, yes," Chopper responded, not finding it odd in the slightest that Luffy had picked something to do with meat, but finding it strange that a mere table would slow him down, "The nurse will take you to the next available room."

And as Usopp followed Zoro to the next "room," Franky ran in, looking terrified, "Doctor! Help me!!"

"What seems to be the problem, Sir?"

"I have this song stuck in my head, and I just cannot get it out!"

"You have a … song stuck in your head?"

"What? I almost can't hear you over the mad rhymes of the song playing over and over in my cranium."

"Franky, I don't know," Chopper began, finding these aliments strange and just wishing for a broken leg, "if it's possible to fix that."

"Don't worry, Doctor," Zoro walked over to the two, sighing, "I can take care of this one."

And so, agreeing, Chopper went off to help all his other patients while Zoro helped the poor man with music reverberating around in his skull.

-xox-

To help Franky, Zoro had him sit down on a couch and got him a large pair of headphones. Asking Franky if he was ready, Zoro waited for a confirmation before blasting the most obnoxious, annoying song he could think of.

"Ahhh!" Franky screamed, throwing the headphones from his head, "Shut it off! For the love of everything pure and beautiful in the word, shut it off!!"

Turning the device off, Zoro asked, "All better?"

"Hey … yeah! I am doing better! Thanks nurse!" Franky responded, looking thoroughly satisfied.

"Great," Zoro responded, walking over to Franky and grabbing his shirt roughly, "And please, I beg of you, think of something better to do and save me!!"

Zoro had almost whispered the whole last sentence, but Franky saw that desperation in his eyes and promised to try and think of something.

For Brooke's current situation, Chopper worked tirelessly to find a solution to the man who was nothing but bones. Sadly, the man could not be saved and Chopper suggested that he find himself a nice coffin and bury himself in it.

To help Luffy, Chopper tried to work quickly with a loud, screeching Usopp in his ear. When asked why he was being such an annoyance, Usopp replied, "There's always that one person, be it a family member or friend, who doesn't leave the operating room when the one they know is being helped. Now … Oh my God!! Don't you touch him like that!!"

Finally, Chopper got so fed up with it that he asked Zoro to take the deranged man away and tell him to wait in the waiting room. But Zoro took it a step further and tied Usopp to one of the chairs just to be safe.

And when Chopper had sufficiently cured Luffy by giving him more meat to wash the table down, it was now time to contend with Sanji.

Moaning and clutching his chest when both Chopper and Zoro entered, he wailed, "It seems to be getting worse, I fear!"

Taking the man's pulse, Chopper related to Zoro, "His pulse is gaining speed! He may be going into cardiac arrest soon!"

Going into action, Zoro was retrieving the proper tools for Chopper when he heard Sanji gasp, "Nurse! Nurse, please …"

He wasn't sure what Sanji wanted, but he really didn't want to play around any longer than he had to. Trying to appease the "sick" man, Zoro turned and asked, "What's the problem, Sir?"

But Zoro didn't have any time to assess the situation as he was pulled down suddenly. Sanji, who waited for just the right moment, now had Zoro in a passionate kiss. Zoro, shocked, just stood there, being kissed, Sanji, enjoying this game even more now, smile around the kiss.

"I'm cured!" Sanji exclaimed, finally releasing Zoro from the kiss, "Thanks, doc!"

Jumping off the couch, he grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. Zoro, as well as the rest of the crew, looked on in shock. But Zoro was the first to come back to reality and screamed, "Not for long, you perverted cook!"

It was then, in the chaos of Zoro and Sanji knocking furniture and other items around, of Usopp and Brooke hiding behind anything they could find, of Chopper and Franky trying to restrain the two men, and of Luffy laughing madly, grabbing a few more pieced of meat Chopper had brought out, that Chopper's idea had ended.

-xox-

After cleaning things up enough to where the ship looked at least half way decent, the men of the Strawhat crew gathered in the galley to discuss what to do next.

"So, what now?" Luffy asked, smile wide on his face. It seemed the captain was now thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Um," Franky's voice was tiny when he looked from the ground, to Zoro, and back again. With the chaos the end of the game brought, Franky had completely forgotten to think of something to do.

"Wait, I've got it!" Usopp proclaimed, raising a hand high, "This idea beats all the others!"

"Really?" Sanji asked, skeptically. He wasn't sure what to expect from Usopp considering that man's mind was vault of all sorts of tricky things.

"Yay! Idea!" Luffy cheered, clapping his hands above his head, "What is it, Usopp? What is it?!"

"Yeah, Usopp!" Chopper asked, mimicking Luffy, "What is it?"

"As long as I don't have to dress up in anymore ridiculous clothing, it'll be better than the last one," Zoro replied, leaning heavily against the wall.

"Alright guys, gather round," Usopp smiled, eager to put his idea into effect.

-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-

End of Chapter Three

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A/N: Again, sorry for the long wait. And, yes, I know I already put Zoro in a nurse outfit in One Week, but I liked it so much I brought it back. Thank you so much for reading! Reviews are always very much appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed it!