NOTICE: I do not have time to write every day, sorry if you don't like that, I realize it's been super long since I've posted anything, but there's not really much I can do about that. Get over it. Now that I'm done being mean, I AM sorry that this one took so long, it's been a few months, but believe me when I say I had no time to write. If I had, I would have done so and posted. Sorry, again.

Standard disclaimer applies.

Ch. 23: Falling for the First Time

Finally, Friday afternoon.

This had been the longest week in existence. I finished my story late yesterday, and would have my next assignment on Monday, so basically I did nothing all day.

But after that hellish ordeal with Jacob, and then with Mr. Mackenzie, I deserved it. Mr. Mackenzie was at a conference all day with the patrons, so I wouldn't have to see him until Monday, which also made my life easier.

I had nothing else to do, so I called Mike to complain about his article. What the hell.

"Hi, I'd like to speak to Mike Newton, please?" I said to the receptionist, and waited a few minutes until she transferred me.

"Hello, Mike Newton speaking." His voice answered boredly.

"Hi, Mike. You remember me, Bella, who you wrote an awful story about, right?" I said, focusing on making my voice a scathing sugary sweet tone.

"Oh. Uh…I…c'mon, Bella, it was for work." His voice said, struggling to come up with an answer.

"So a stinking tabloid is more important than being a good person. I was genuinely happy to see you the other night, and this is how you repay me? Robb is my friend, and he's gay. How dare you bring a good friend of mine into this?" I snapped, sure he could feel my glare through the telephone. "I thought maybe, just maybe, I could have one night on the town without having something like this blow up out of nowhere! I don't know, maybe blow off some stress, because a lot of shit is going down lately…"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't realize—"

"No, you didn't, so from now on just leave me out of it." I slammed the receiver down on the base, and sighed. Angela was listening, I knew, and so was half the office. Ugh. Was it five o clock yet? "Ang, is it lunch time yet?"

"twenty minutes. Almost." She replied. "Call Edward, make up for those dinner pland you missed yesterday."

"He'd be paying anyway, it wouldn't be much of a treat."

"Not necessarily. Ben's mother owns a restaurant. If I called her up you'd get a meal on the house?" she offered, then thought of something else. "Oh! I know! Make him dinner tonight, as a picnic on the roof of your mother's shop. You used to be a cook, right?"

"Yeah, but…" I sighed, shrugging. "Maybe on the roof of his apartment. But I'd have to get in there first…"

"See him on your lunch break, I'll pick something up for you at the sandwich shop, and get his key. Say you forgot something there." She offered, making it more and more plausible.

I saw her reasoning. It was about time I did something nice for Edward. He was so nice to me, so perfect, and I did nothing for him in return. I never took him out for something special, he was always the one surprising me. I never did anything he wanted me to, because I was so goddamn stubborn about doing things my own way…

"You know, I think I will. He deserves a nice surprise." I said, looking up to wehre she peered over the cubicle barrier. "You're a lifesaver, Ang."

"Well, it's the least I could do, for taking you out and putting you in the position for that creep to write about you. You should leave now, so you're back in a timely fashion. Mack won't be back today, but you know Lauren's going to spy for him." She said, and I couldn't help but notice the way her engagement ring sparkled on her finger.

I don't know why I kept noticing it today, maybe because the other night put a weird idea in my head. I hadn't been dating Edward for long enough for that to cross his mind, but part of me wanted him to.

A sick, demented part of me!

Jebus, Bella, snap out of it. So he bought you a toothbrush and shampoo for when you stayed over at his place. So what?

I realized that I was a commitophobe, at that moment. When things began to get serious with Jacob, our senior year of high school, part of me desperately wanted to break up with him. I didn't want to be tied down, as he didn't either. It wasn't until after he was gone that I thought I'd made a mistake, in losing him.

Now, I realized what it was. It was why I never had a boyfriend in college. Because I didn't want to be tied down to anything, because my father already had me tied to his dying businesses. And because my mother had gone through two failed marriages, and when she divorced Phil, I assumed half the responsibility for her flower shop. That, and because she was so independent, she'd sworn off men.

Well, I never expected that to last, as it hadn't, but I'd grown used to the I-don't-need-a-man-to-tie-me-down attitude. I'd even used it, subconsciously, with Edward. That was behind my independence. My thirst, my desire to remain on my own two feet, do things my way. It was because I didn't want any man to tie me down.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I doing this to Edward, too. He wasn't some man who wanted to tie me down, he tried to protect me. He wanted me to try and do my own thing, and though we'd argued about my methods, he always supported me in the end.

And the other day, at lunch, when I'd been taking my frustration out on Edward…he sat and took it. He knew I wasn't mad at him, he knew I just needed a release, which was why he encouraged me to go out on the town with the girls and Robb.

He probably knew something like the tabloid was going to happen, but he let me make my mistake by myself. He had Robb watching over me, but I still had too much to drink, and had a massive hangover yesterday while I was trying to write that article, which I had Angela read over three times before submitting it, because I wasn't sure about it.

He gave me so much freedom, it made my head spin.

He gave me so much, in general, I couldn't comprehend it. Not only with the debt, but he was constantly taking care of me. His lawyer was taking care of the legal situation, he literally brought me out of my dark ages in one fell swoop.

I can't believe I never thought to do something special like this for him before this!

I gave Angela a few bucks for a sandwich, then left, hailing a cab to take me to the paper. I realized, as I got into the cab, that I looked like a crazy person back there, just watching the sparkle of her diamond engagement ring. It was beautiful, and high quality. I didn't know what Ben did for a living, but I got the impression it wasn't anything that could account for him going out and buying a massive ring for her. He must have been planning it for a while, and saved for months…

Just like Alice and the Cullens had been banking on Edward and I getting together. I smiled, shaking my head. The way things had fallen into place really shocked me. One minute I was living out of my office, the next all my debt was gone.

It would take more than just a romantic rooftop picnic to make this up to him. He deserved so much better than me, it was a wonder he hadn't realized it yet. I mean…I'd definitely caused him more problems than good…

I paid the cab driver and huddled my jacket—the one Edward bought for me—close against my body as I walked into the building. Robb was at the front desk, and told me that Edward wasn't in his office, so I opted to wait there. He was probably harassing one of the journalists about a poorly written piece…

I practically threw myself at Edward when he walked through the door, certainly surprising him. He gave in to my fervent advances, and I could hear his breathing speed up, like mine was. I could only guess that his heart was pounding like mine, as well.

My cold hand cupped his warm face as I'd launched myself at him, and he held me close to him, giving in to the moment. This was how it was supposed to be, all the time. Raw passion, just me and him, whether we were in the corner of his darkened office, or watching the news in his apartment.

Something in me answered the questions I'd had earlier, as to why he was with me. This was why. Because we fit so perfectly together, because I knew he was just as stressed as me, and we both needed to let it out.

He regained control of himself, after realizing that his hands had snaked underneath my blouse and began tracing up and down my back. Slowly he reeled himself in, and gradually tamed my wild kisses to chaste, sweet pecks.

"Well, hello there." He said with a smile, still holding me in his arms as I looked up at him. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see you." I said, sighing, allowing my heart to calm. I leaned my head against his chest, and heard that his was also going at lightning speeds. I smiled, and kissed the place closest to my lips—his collarbone, nudging his shirt out of the way a little to get to his skin.

"You certainly know how to get a man's attention." He grinned, separating from me and picking up the stack of papers he'd dropped upon my attack. "What time did you get here?"

"A couple minutes ago. Robb said you would be back in a few minutes, so I decided to wait." I said, following him to his chair, only beginning to massage his shoulders with my good hand as he sat down and opened the laptop to get some work done.

"You're certainly affectionate today." He smiled, taking my hand and kissing it. Cue the butterflies in my stomach, that always responded to a classy display of his emotions.

"I actually came for the key to your apartment." I said, getting back to my shoulder massage. "I forgot a few things over there the other night, that I was going to pick up on the way home from work."

"Oh? Like what? You can just bring it home tonight, can't you?"

"I'd rather just get it out of the way." I said, knowing he saw that I was lying. He smiled at me, as he saw through my casual air, and took the keys out of his pants pocket, detaching one and placing it in my hand.

"Put it under the mat when you're done." He said, standing as I made a motion to leave. He still held my hand, and kissed it again. I swear, he kissed my left ring finger…

I shook my head, smiling, as he met my lips with a couple of soft, careful kisses.

"I'll see you later." He whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I don't know how, but he always made my skin tingle, in a good way. He kissed right before my ear, on my cheek, and helped me into my jacket, just to hold me in his arms, I knew.

I loved that. I loved that he was always happy to see me, that his face always lit up when he saw me. I'm sure I was the same way, but I always noticed it when he did it.

He had a better, more dazzling smile than I did.

"Yeah…see you." I murmured, leaving the office and taking a cab back to mine.

Angela, ever the observant one, noticed my ascent to cloud nine as I practically skipped to my cubicle.

"I love seeing people in love." She grinned, handing me my sandwich as she rolled into my cubicle on her desk chair.

"What?" I said, hardly realizing what she said.

"You're glowing. You're practically blinding me with that smile. I take it things went well?"

"I'm a really bad liar. He knows I'm doing something, but he'll play along with it."

"As he should. They always know when we try and do something nice, but don't say anything." She paused, peering at me over her sandwich. "But something else is on your mind. Spill."

"It's silly." I said, looking down at my hands, specifically my left hand, envisioning a ring there.

"Oh, but it's probably adorable and will make me smile. Please?"

"Just for you, then." I said with a smile, and paused, wondering how to put it. "How soon is too soon to pop the question?"

"He proposed?"

"No…but he's up to something. I might just be hallucinating…I mean, we haven't been together for very long…and it was only toiletries…"

"He bought you stuff for his apartment." She nodded, and paused, thinking. "You think he wants to?"

I nodded, unable to say anything for a few moments due to sandwichy goodness.

"I was curious and asked him about his last relationship, which was a disaster his freshmen year of college. Ang, he hasn't had a relationship, or a fling, or anything, in over six years. What am I supposed to think?"

"He's not going to push it before you're ready, especially because you both somehow escaped the dating world for years at a time. This is your first adult relationship, and his too. He knows you're going to be insecure about commitment…"

"But that's the thing. I hate commitment, but seeing you and the ring, and Alice and Jasper…even Rosalie, I…want to be with him. And it's ridiculous because we've hardly been together a month…"

"Relax, Bella. He's going to be thinking about it, sure, but he won't do anything for a while. Maybe you should consider moving in with him? That seems like a better idea than jumping into marriage."

"Yeah, I'm just…nuts." I smiled, and she patted my arm.

"You're in love. You're allowed to be."

Okay…what needed to be done now. I picked up everything I needed from the market on the way over, and had the recipe for some chicken thing that I'd found at work.

Food…check.

Quilt…check.

Perfect boyfriend…

Well, he'll be here in about fifteen seconds because he's unlocking the door now…so che—

Oh no. He was early! He can't be early, I'm not done yet!

The fire escape! I could get the food up to the roof that way, and he'd never know…

"Bella?" his voice said, confused, as I was halfway out the window with a dish of food in my good hand, held steady against my body. "What are you doing?"

"Um…it's warm in here?" I said, trying to maneuver back inside while hiding the dish. How could I do this? Just leave it out there, and get it when he was changing?

"So you decided to climb out the window."

"Well…I…was exercising, and needed to stretch?" I fumbled for an answer, not moving as I had the dish on the windowsill, carefully balanced. "and you're early!"

"It's Friday, Friday is always early." He said, hanging up his coat and approaching me. "What are you hiding there?"

"Nothing…um…it's been a long day. Why don't you go take a hot shower?" I said, trying to get him out of the room. I shifted the dish, as I tried to hide it, and the potholder slipped, causing my bare hand to touch it.

It was freaking hot!

It's okay, Bella…just think of something else. Don't give it away! He doesn't know yet!

"I think I will." He smiled at me, clearly knowing what I was up to, and loving how ridiculous I was right now. He leaned in to kiss my cheek, and lingered by my ear for a moment. "Smells good."

Then he turned and went into his room, and without thinking I quickly moved my hand, bringing my burning fingers to my lips, and watched in horror as the dish teetered against the sill, falling before I could catch it. I sort of half lunged downward at a weird angle, but didn't quite grasp the glass dish before it hit the ground.

Cue ear-splitting crash, as tiny pieces of glass went everywhere, and my food went onto the floor.

"God DAMMIT!" I exclaimed, as Edward was out of his room and by my side in seconds.

"Are you okay?" he said, as I still sucked on my burnt fingertips. I nodded, though felt tears springing to my eyes. I felt like an idiot. I couldn't even surprise my boyfriend with a nice dinner without screwing it up. "Bella?"

"I'm fine." I managed to choke out, trying to hold back the tears. I had no reason to cry. It was just dinner. It was silly, trivial. I'd look back and laugh someday…

He took my good hand, which now had burnt fingertips, starting to bubble a little, and looked at them, examining them.

"Run your hand under cold water. I'll clean this up." He said, kissing my hand, then my forehead.

"No…I'll get it." I murmured, as the desire to cry passed. Now I just felt stupid.

"Your fingers are burned. Don't make it worse. I have this." He said, stopping me from crouching to start picking up the glass pieces. I sighed, knowing he was right. He was always right.

So much for my wonderful idea.

"Are you okay?" he said, after he was finished, cleaning up the chicken and everything. He stood behind me, and kissed my cheek, as I'd stood staring blankly at the wall for the past several minutes, while my fingers numbed under the cold water.

"Why do you like me?" I found myself asking, as my insecurities from earlier came back. "I've caused you nothing but trouble…and when I try and do something nice, it blows up in my face…"

"Relax." He said, as I was working myself up, babbling. I didn't listen, and continued.

"I'm not pretty enough…I have no common sense…you have two lawsuits because of me, because I'm stupid and don't listen to you because I'm too stubborn…"

He stopped me with his lips on mine, shutting me up immediately. There it was again, why we were together. Because we belonged together. Because he supported me and accepted my many flaws. Because he always found a way to fix things that I'd screwed up.

Two tears slipped out as I'd been working myself up, and he kissed each of my cheeks when he drew back, kissing them away, before ending with a kiss on my forehead.

"I love that about you." He said, meeting my weepy eyes with his dazzling green. "That you're stubborn. That you try to stay independent, with everything that's happened. That you yelled back at me when I was being a jerk, at the Herald." He smiled. "That you tried to surprise me with dinner."

"And failed." I mumbled, leaning into his embrace. "Miserably."

"You still tried. It's the thought that counts. You're adorable." He kissed the top of my head.

"It was going to be a picnic on the roof, and everything." I lamented.

"We can make more chicken, and still have that picnic." He suggested, but I shook my head.

"The surprise is ruined."

"Well…we can make more chicken, and have a wonderful meal." He caught my eyes again, tilting my chin up. "You were going to teach me how to cook, anyway."

I stayed at Edward's again that night, spending the evening cuddling with him on the sofa, watching some movie or another. I wasn't paying attention to the movie, I was paying attention to Edward.

I loved the way he was lightly stroking my side as I lay with him, my head on his chest, curled into him. I loved how he'd kiss my forehead, or the top of my head, sweetly. I loved how he turned my disaster surprise into something good, and fun. Cooking was the only thing I had over him, so for once I felt worth something in comparison to him.

I shifted to laying directly over him, entwining my legs with his as his expression didn't change. I wasn't trying to pull anything tonight, I wasn't carried away like a few days ago, I just wanted to be closer to him. He pulled the blanket we were laying under tighter around me, before moving his arms to clasped around my waist, at the small of my back, his fingers tracing designs where my shirt had ridden up.

I propped myself up to kiss him, this shift causing something to jab into my leg.

"What the…" I mumbled, practically springing off of him to relieve the pressure, and dug his apartment key, that I'd forgotten to put under the mat, out of my pants pocket. "Oh. Here."

"Keep it." He said, sitting up with me, refusing to accept it back. "I made a copy for you."

"You were planning on me trying to do something nice?"

"No. That was a surprise, as intended." He said, kissing me lightly. "It's so if you forget something over here you don't have to wait until I get home." He paused. "Though I do enjoy you attacking me at the office."

I smiled in response, and met him halfway. I loved kissing him. Something about him was intoxicating. I felt as if I could survive on just water and kisses, regardless of how preposterous that was.

"Maybe I should just keep a few things over here, so I don't have to go across town, or you don't have to bother my mother when I wake up late." I said, addressing the moving-in issue in a casual kind of way.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head at me, seeing through my nonchalance.

"Yes you can move in." he said, kissing my lips. "If you want to. You practically live here anyway."

"I…I wasn't trying to hint at it. I mean…it would just make sense…"

"I'm glad you brought it up." He told me, smiling at my meekness. "I didn't know if it would be moving too fast for you."

"For me? You're just as inexperienced as me, mister." I said indignantly, poking him in the chest.

"That may be, but the difference between us is I fell in love with you the moment you showed up in my office in your pajamas."

I remained silent, as his gorgeous green eyes stared into mine. Had he really? I couldn't imagine that, with how he'd acted. At the flower shop the next day, sure, but when he was threatening my job?

And if this was true, then he knew from day one that I was the one he wanted in his life…forever. He wasn't the type to screw around, and after the debt and everything he'd done for me, I knew it was definitely serious.

It was already serious, after so short a time. I couldn't imagine feeling more for him than I already did, but knew that it would all grow with time.

"How are you so…confident in everything?" I found myself asking. I mean, honestly. How did he do it? Moving in together was a big step, and it had only been a month. Was I ready for it? I'd told myself that I was, but now that the opportunity presented itself, I was afraid. What if we started hating each other?

"I trust my gut." He actually answered. I hadn't been expecting a response, and he probably knew that, but he chose to answer me anyway. "You do the same, only it takes you longer to realize it because you second-guess yourself seventy three times before you come up with the answer you knew all along." He paused. "Trust yourself, Bella."

I remained silent. He was right, as usual.

"I don't know how." I murmured, at long last.

This much was true. My father, when I first started working for him, didn't trust my judgment on anything, and forced me into the habit of quadruple checking everything. I didn't know how to make quick decisions, or trust my gut.

Most of the quick decisions I made were rash, and blew up in my face.

Now that I thought about it, almost everything I'd done in the past six months had blown up in my face. My apartment, the newspaper, working three jobs…

I had been zoning out, and to get my attention, he kissed my neck, trailing up my jawline and to my lips. I squirmed against him, and couldn't help the laughter that was bubbling up inside of me from his fingers sneaking down to my sides to tickle me. He kept contact with my lips, grinning himself, as I was incapacitated, giggling into him.

He stopped his assault once I had squirmed enough that I was laying underneath him, pinned to the couch cushion, breathless.

And there it was again. That look of desire, from earlier in the day.

He didn't hesitate for another second, and captured my lips with his, in that same unbridled passion as earlier, as the other night. I gasped against him as he moved to my neck, and pulled him closer. There was only him, ever. I didn't care that I was letting my hormones run wild, and didn't care that he flinched when I snaked my good hand underneath his shirt, to run over the contours of his perfect torso.

Control has never been as difficult before, as it was now. I could feel his heart going a mile a minute, as our lips met again, each kiss deeper than the last.

Then his shirt opened, and when he drew back from me I just gawked. Every muscle was solid, andw ell defined.

"Is something wrong?" he smirked, teasing, as I undressed him with my eyes several times.

"You should be an underwear model." I said, it not really registering in my brain that I'd just said that aloud. He chuckled, lightly stroking my cheek before tilting my chin up for a chaste, sweet kiss.

"Glad you think so."

I flushed a little, as it dawned on me that what I said wasn't just in my head. He just smiled, and kissed my good hand, his eyes dancing in the dim lamplight.

"I love when you do that." I couldn't help but grinning like an idiot.

"I know." He replied, adjusting himself so he was under me once more. I cuddled into him, now just listening to the steady beat of his heart, still slowing from a few minutes ago. I let my good hand trace designs on his torso, as he lightly rubbed my back, both of us just enjoying the other's presence.

I felt a light kiss on my forehead, as this intense feeling of comfort came over me, and I drifted off to sleep.

Sorry for the wait, hope you liked, and I'm on break so I should probably get more writing done.