Chapter 3/Discovered

I felt something wet hit my cheek. It felt like a raindrop. Another followed and another until soon I was soaked with rainwater. Opening my eyes I found myself standing in the middle of the park. It seemed to be well past sunset, the darkness accented by the dark clouds. It would have been poetic if I hadn't been standing in the middle of it. Shivers shook my thin frame as the cold rain pounded down mercilessly on me. I could not remember how I had gotten here. The last thing I remember seeing was Karl injecting me with some kind of sedative. Now I was standing in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Lighting cracked and I flinched involuntarily. I could not seem to get my body to move. I stood frozen in the middle of the park, my feet sunken in the muddy earth.

"Alex!"

I peered into the darkness. Someone was calling my name.

"Alex?"

Ana Lucia was suddenly in front of me. Her eyes were wide and her hair stuck to her face in wet strings. I knew I didn't look any better. I was suddenly engulfed in a hug that nearly cut off all air into my lungs.

"Alex, where have you been? You left this morning with those people and I never saw or heard from you again." She stepped back, still holding my shoulders. "Look at you, you're shaking."

I did not speak, just stared at her through clumps of soaking dark hair. She wiped them gently away from my face. Putting an arm around me, she forced me to move forward.

"Let's get home before you catch pneumonia."

I followed her woodenly. Once we got inside the house, Ana Lucia ordered me up to my room to change. I did so silently. Looking in the mirror I could see how terrible I looked. Black streaks from the liner that surrounded my eyes ran down my pale white cheeks. My black hair was plastered to my face in streaks and my lip ring was itching. I washed my face in warm water, not bothering to put new liner on.

When I came back down in dry clothes, she took a towel to my hair and proceeded to wring out my soaking head vigorously. I knew better than to protest. Her mother, who was home from work for the week, heard about the situation and made me some hot chocolate. I nodded my thanks, starting to feel warm for the first time that night.

"What happened Alex?" Ana Lucia asked me once she had finished drying me off.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I was talking with them one minute, the next I'm standing out in the rain." I looked her right in the eye, thankful she did not have the ability to detect lies.

She collapsed tiredly on the couch. I ventured over to sit next to her, close enough to not come across as standoffish, but far enough away to show my hesitancy at being near her. I did it almost unconsciously. If Ana Lucia noticed she did not comment on it.

"Who were those people?"

I frowned. "I . . . don't know."

"Well, I don't want you talking to them ever again. They must be dangerous."

I smirked slightly. "Yes, ma'am."

Ana Lucia gave me a look but did not comment. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. The fireplace was directly across from us and Mrs. Rodriguez had started a warm fire in it. I stared into the flames, wondering what had happened and why I couldn't remember anything.

I could feel Ana Lucia's gaze on me.

"You look different." She observed.

I did not answer.

"You're not wearing any eye make-up." She said, surprised. "Not your lip-ring either."

I rested my chin on my knees.

"You look nice."

I glanced at her. Her eyes showed her sincerity. It wasn't first compliment I had received from her, but for some reason it felt unlike the other times. I turned back to the fire, unable to think of anything to say. She did not speak either. Semi-comfortable silence filled the room before Ana Lucia spoke.

"Well, I have to get to bed now. After church tomorrow Lash is taking me out."

I glanced at her. I could feel excitement and nervousness coming from her. Her face glowed in that way it did whenever she talked about Lash. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and faced the fire once more. She laid a hand on my arm.

"Good night, Alex." She said, softly.

"Night" was my only response.

She seemed to hesitate slightly before getting up. "Don't stay up too late."

"Yes, Mother."

A certain sadness appeared to cover the room momentarily. I knew she was thinking of my mother, who died four months ago. Whose death had caused me to go over the edge and consequently caused the hospital display to happen. I missed her still, and my throat constricted slightly as my fingers traveled unconsciously to the scars on my wrists that were covered only by the sleeves of the jersey I was wearing. The day I found out Mom had died was the day I had first started cutting. Ana Lucia seemed to know how I was feeling. She leaned forward and kissed my cheek lightly.

"Buones noches, Alex. Sweet dreams."

With that she left. I touched my cheek softly. That was a first. Ana Lucia had never been this sentimental. Despite my aching heart I smiled at the memory of her lips against my cold cheek. I barely remember getting up and leaving for my room. The next thing I knew I was lying in bed and falling asleep.

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I usually find Ana Lucia's church interesting, but this day I was fidgety. I still could not remember what had happened to me the other day and it was driving me nuts. Small things were coming back however. I could remember a white room with a black door. But that is it. The other reason I could not concentrate is because they had a guest speaker who spoke only in Spanish. Which is great for the church (since everyone there speaks it) but difficult for me as I am just learning.

Ana Lucia started off translating for me but she soon trailed off as she got more interested. I didn't really care. I had too much to think about without having her distracting me with her whispers.

After we had been home for a while, Lash came to pick up Ana Lucia. He tried to strike up a conversation with me while he waited for her to come downstairs, but the situation turned awkward when I wouldn't respond. So we stood there, awkwardly waiting, for a few minutes before Ana Lucia showed up. She seemed a bit out of breath. There was something in her eyes as she looked at me that made me feel uncomfortable.

"Alex, hold out your arms." She asked, sternly.

I froze. How could she have found out? I threw all the bloody razors away. Had I missed one? Ana Lucia grabbed my arm and shoved the sleeve up roughly. I winced involuntarily. She gasped at the sight of the red stripes.

"Oh Alex," she whispered.

I squirmed uneasily. She looked up into my eyes. I flushed shamefully.

"You promised me, Alex. You said you wouldn't cut again." The disappointment in her voice was more painful than the cutting had been. "Why did you do it, Alex?"

I looked away and did not answer. Lash cleared his throat.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked.

Ana Lucia did not answer. Placing her hands over the more recent sores, she quickly healed them. She could not heal the old ones however. Those scars would be with me until death. She repeated the process with my other arm.

"When I come back we're going to have a little talk." She said.

I gave no indication that I had heard her. Turning away abruptly I turned myself invisible and watched as Ana Lucia exchanged a look with Lash. I could feel disappointment and concern emanating from her. Lash took her hand and they left. I looked down at my newly healed arms. The old scars disgusted me. I was disgusted with myself. I had wanted to stop, I really had. Of course, that's what always happens. You want to stop but get caught before you've really tried. I had to admit I hadn't tried very hard.

I left. Knowing there was nothing to do but wait for Ana Lucia to come back, I took a walk. Staying invisible I watched different people as they passed by me unknowingly. I scanned their emotions. It was interesting to find out how different people's emotions can be from their outward appearance.

A girl who looked like a punk rocker was really hurt and confused. A nice, stylish looking woman was full of anger and hate. A scruffy looking man was cheerful. A small child was greedy. A lawyer was bored.

After about an hour of this I started to feel hungry. I made my way back to the house. Turning visible again, I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. While I was doing so I caught sight of my reflection in the microwave door. I could not see how Ana Lucia could ever call me attractive. Looking at my pale white skin with the black liner hugging my dark eyes, which held an almost haunted look, I appeared to be a ghoul or something. Quickly turning away I stuffed half the sandwich in my mouth and munched as I made my way to my room.

As soon as I closed the door I felt a presence. I froze.

"Hello?" I called. "I know you're in here."

Something seemed to step out from the wall. It slowly shifted into someone I recognized. Someone I recognized well.

"Karl?"

The twitchy boy jerked convulsively. "Listen, I just wanted to tell you not to be afraid of Josh and Megan. They're just trying to help us."

"Us?"

"You, me, kids like us. Besides, they're just doing what they're told."

"So they have a boss? Who is it?"

The boy twisted and jerked nervously. His blue eyes were constantly moving. His sandy color hair flopped on his forehead as he glanced around furtively.

"Look, I'm not even supposed to be here. I just wanted you to know that everything's going to be okay." He started shifting back.

"Wait, you said—"

But Karl was gone. I lifted my hand and waved it through the space he had been. Nothing. I bit into my sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. What had that been all about?

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Ana Lucia's face changed from dreamy to stern when her eyes fell on me sitting in the living room. She hung up her coat and scarf for the wind had been chilly despite the warm sun. January in Maxville usually had snow but it was not quite so cold for that yet. Ana Lucia made her way slowly over to me. I fidgeted slightly, feeling as nervous as Karl.

She sat across from me, holding her hands together tightly. I wanted to reach across and take her hand to help her relax. I knew this would not be appropriate to the situation however, so I resisted. She sighed heavily.

"Honestly Alex, I don't know what to say. You promised me you would never cut again. Why did you do it?"

I could not look at her. I shrugged but did not say anything. How could she understand? She couldn't. She had no idea what I had to go through every single day. She did not know how much pain she herself caused me. Ana Lucia waited for a response that never came. She tried a few more delicate questions but to no avail. I would not speak. After a while she gave up. Without so much as a glance at me she stood and left the room. I was left silently cursing my stupid brain, my stupid heart, and my stupid life.

A/N: Thanks Chad, Matchbox Dragon, and Fantasmarific Amalia for reviewing! Hope to hear more from you. :-P

Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :-D