A/N: Sorry it took so long guys. I lost inspriation and then I got sick. I'm on the mend now so I decided to get a chapter up. My inspiration came back while I was sick. Go figure.

Chapter 4/The Decision

He is here. He's supposed to be in Canada or someplace. What is he doing in my dream? His face is leering. He's standing over me, his hand poised to strike. I hear a voice call out. Suddenly someone steps in front of me. His back is all I can see. Dad hits him across the face. My defender goes down. I kneel beside him.

"David!"

The scene fades. Now I know I'm not dreaming; I'm having a flashback. David stands before me, his face tight. He reaches for me, pulling me close.

"I'm sorry, Alex." His voice in my ear. "I just can't take it anymore."

"Where are you going?" My voice, young and scared.

My brother strokes my hair. "I have to get away. I'm sorry."

He pulls away, looking down into my upturned face. He looks like he is about to cry.

"I'll come back for you, okay Alex? I'll come back."

He grabs my head and kisses my forehead. Then he is gone. I sink to the floor, holding the bedpost tightly. Angry shouts come from downstairs. The breaking of glass. The sound a wet fish makes when it hits the floor of a boat. I flinch. My mother is screaming. My dad is shouting. My brother drives away down the street.

The police are at the door. Dad acts friendly to them. He makes sure they don't see the fresh scar on my arm. The men give Dad their report. David Newton was found dead in his car, a bullet in his head and a gun in his hand. Dad plays it cool. Mom is sobbing. I do nothing but stand there and scream.

"Alex! Alex! Alex, for goodness' sake, wake up!"

I opened my eyes with a start. Ana Lucia looked down at me. She seemed worried. I found I was sitting up. Ana Lucia sat down on the bed. The light from the hallway shone from the open doorway. I blinked a bit to get used to the brightness.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused.

"'What's wrong!' What's wrong?" She sounded incredulous. "Alex, I come in here because you're screaming your head off and you ask 'what's wrong?'"

I rubbed the back of my neck ruefully. "I was screaming?"

Ana Lucia's expression turned from shock to concern. "Yes, you were. Do you want to tell me why you might have?"

I suddenly remembered my dream (or flashback if you prefer). I frowned, my face hardening. "I don't want to talk about it."

I turned my face away from her. In doing so I noticed something unfamiliar resting on my nightstand. Before I could get a good look at it however, Ana Lucia had grabbed my chin and was forcing me to look at her.

"Alex, you can tell me. I'm you friend right?" Her eyes searched mine.

My eyes were as hard as steel. "Are you? Or do you only cater your feelings to Lash now?"

It was a terrible thing to say. Unnecessary and uncalled for. But I didn't care. Ana Lucia recoiled as if I had slapped her. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I kept going.

"Lash is your boyfriend right? So why should you pay any attention to your miserable ward who only adds gloom to your happy lifestyle? Just admit it Ana; I'm a bug on the windshield of your life. All you see is Lash now and you're happy with that."

Ana Lucia stood quickly. "Alex, that's not true. That's a lie and you know it! Take it back!"

"Give me one reason I should!" I yelled back, unable to stop the ugly things from coming out. "You know you've been spending more time with Lash then me. You never pay attention to me anymore! I had been cutting for months before you noticed. Months! Admit it! You hate me Ana Lucia. And I hate you!"

I turned away from her and lay down quickly, flinging the covers over my head. It was juvenile to act this way but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore. I could heard Ana Lucia's feet quietly exit the room. The door closing off her muffled sobs.

Two tears of my own trickled down my cheeks. I was horrible. I had driven Ana Lucia away. Just as I had driven David away, all those years ago. If I had only been a better son, Dad wouldn't have beaten us up so much. David wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have killed himself.

"I'll come back."

Why had he said that? He knew he would never come back. Why did he give me false hope? I pictured his face in my head and mentally grasped that picture with all my might. Strong David. I had always idolized him. He was my big brother. He took care of me. He protected me. Then he was gone.

Tears turned to sobs as wave after wave of memories passed through my mind. Memories I had made myself forget. I couldn't stay here. David would have wanted better for me. I thought of the academy. The one I couldn't remember because they had sedated me. Still it was better than nothing. I pushed back the covers and picked up the object I had seen lying on my nightstand. It was a cell phone. I flipped it open. A message was up.

Press 1 when you've reached your decision.

I pressed 1. I held the phone to my ear and listened to it ring.

"Yes?" A feminine voice purred.

"This is Alex Newton," I said, willing my voice not to tremble. "I have decided."

"Yes?"

"I want to join the academy."

"Good, good. We'll pick you up at the bus stop tomorrow at ten o' clock AM. See you there."

The dial tone was loud in my ear.

000000

You have to go through the living room to get to the front door. That's where Ana Lucia was sitting, facing the hallway, looking pensive. I turned myself and my suitcase invisible, but she must have heard me come down the stairs.

"Alex?" She called softly, hesitantly. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears behind her thick glasses.

I stopped, wondering if I should turn visible. I decided not to and just stood, waiting for her to speak.

"Where are you going?" Her eyes scanned the room, searching for me.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I just can't take it anymore." Those words, his voice.

"But where?"

"Away. Far away. Maybe I'll come back. Someday."

Ana Lucia reached out her hand towards me. I stepped forward, wanting to take it. But I knew if I took it, I would have to stay. I couldn't stay. Not now. I reached out my hand slowly. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew I must. I drew my hand back. Backing away I opened the front door. Ana Lucia's eyes moved towards it. She seemed to know where I was and watched me leave. I thought I saw a tear fall down her face.

I turned visible once I got to the bus stop. I toyed with my lip ring nervously. Was I making the right choice? I didn't have much time to think about it, because exactly at ten o' clock AM, a car came careening down the street. It stopped right in front of me and I saw Josh at the wheel.

"Hop in. Don't worry about getting knocked out again. Now that you're with us, we can trust you not to reveal our location, right?"

I shrugged. "I guess so."

"Excellent. Now get in."

I flung my suitcase in the backseat and got in the front. I took a deep breath. I was really doing it. I was going to join the academy.