A/N: Sorry, it took so long. The thing is that I recently discovered queer as folk, which is an amazing show with lots of prettiness, so I was distracted by that. I watched the first four seasons like in three weeks, although I still can't bring myself to watch season five :( . Okay, I'll stop rambing now. Loads of thanks to all those people who actually waited for this story to get updated. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer: House doesn't belong to me.

Denial: Part 2/2

I just can't go on

Pretending nothing is wrong

When too many words have been said

Than something got to change

I wish this fever fades

100000 years – Jay-Jay Johanson

v.

So there is this thing.

You are surprised that it took this long for you to realize it and you almost wish that you hadn't. It would have been better to stay in denial for the rest of your life than to admit the truth.

You are impossibly in love with House.

What you feel for him isn't the stuff made in fairytales. There are no happily ever afters and you don't have the sudden urge to fucking dance just because you are in love. Instead you feel a mixture of longing and hate and something else you can't identify. And it fucking hurts, just like it's supposed to because being in love isn't all about sunshine, puppies and rainbows.

That is why you need to stop visiting House in the middle of the night with the misguided sense of belief that somehow you are helping him because frankly you are not. Besides, Wilson had come to visit House yesterday, if the hospital grapevine was to be believed. So there was no reason for you to be here anymore aside from indulging yourself. This was only going to hurt you, make it harder for you to let go of House and to carefully detach him from your life. You weren't willing to put yourself back in the position of being House's lapdog once again. Three years of doing that was more than enough and you were sick of getting hurt willingly.

You look at the clock hanging in House's private room and once again it's midnight, which means you have around half an hour before you have to go back to work. That's more than enough time to visit House and say good-bye. This is your last visit to House before you completely remove him from your life. God, that sounds so cold but there is no other way. Abstinence is the key or in your case getting the fuck away from House is the key to a healthy, sane and pain-free life.

So you get up from your chair that's situated next to House's bed and watch him carefully. Your heart is beating furiously as you hover over House, hoping what you are about to do next doesn't wake him up. You lean closer and press your lips gently against his. Its nothing but a fleeting touch yet your lips still tingle from the contact as you leave the room.

Somehow this wasn't the goodbye you had imagined.

vi.

You are in the middle of the surgery when it happens. It's been a month since you stopped visiting House and he was released. Surprisingly House hasn't bothered you the whole time since he got back actually that was a total lie. You have been ignoring the man ever since got released from the hospital. You did miss him a little even though you hate to admit it. You shake your head a little to banish thoughts of the blue-eyed man and focus on the surgery. You can't help but feel as though someone is watching you intently and the hair on the back of your neck rises a little. You look up to glance at the glass room above and your eyes widen slightly in shock at the person who is staring back at you.

It's House watching you with such intensity that it scares you a little. He continues to stare at you incomprehensibly even when your gaze meets his. In the end it's you that breaks the eye contact. You turn away and focus on the work at hand. When you look again he is gone.

After the surgery is over you go to the locker room to change. You open your locker and pull out a change of clothes. You pull the scrub top over your head and put it in your locker but not before folding it. You are about take off your draw-string pants when you hear the sounds of a pair of footsteps behind you and the telltale sounds of a cane. There was no mistaking as to who it was. So the wolf had finally come out to play and you had a sick feeling in your gut that you were the little red riding hood. Well, it was now or never.

"What do you want House?" you questioned, turning around to face him. You could see his eyes linger on your naked torso appreciatively and all the blood rushed to your cheeks in embarrassment. You really wish you hadn't taken off your shirt. You slid to sit on one of the locker room benches and crossed your arms in front of your chest. The way he was looking at you made you uncomfortable.

"Chase, I'm hurt. Why would you think that I would want something? Maybe I just wanted to say hello to my employee." House mocked.

"Former employee." You corrected in a tight voice and than continued." And cut the bullshit House, you always want something otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"So what have you been up to lately?" House acquired casually.

"What?" You exclaimed surprised. Was House high on something other than Vicodin? Knowing him he probably was because that was the only explanation for his odd behaviour.

House continued on as if you hadn't spoken at all.

"So have you visited your crippled former boss in the hospital this past month or are you into stealing kisses now? Or maybe you have been doing a little of both?"

Your blood ran cold as House uttered those words mockingly. How could you have been so stupid as to think that House wouldn't find out about your midnight visits. Maybe Cuddy had tipped him off but she didn't seem like the type to do something like that and it still wouldn't explain how House found out about the kiss. Regardless of how he found out, you were still screwed.

"I don't have time for this. You should leave, House." You spoke tensely, avoiding his electric blue eyes that bore into you knowingly.

He comes closer to you and leans down ever so slightly towards you till his face is only a few inches away from yours. You turn your face away from him but he grips your jaw and forces you to look at him. He releases his hold on you and looks deep into your eyes. He has you transfixed and you simply can't move or look away from his hypnotic gaze. Your lips are parted slightly and House grazes the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip. You suck in a shaky breath and he pulls his thumb away from your full lips. Instead he leans closer towards your ear till you can feel his hot breath which sends shivers down your spine and says roughly.

"You always were such a coward, Chase."

With that he leaves you.

vii.

You are angry. No in fact you are furious which is probably why you are marching down towards

House 's office. How dare he call you a coward when he was the one who fired you without a proper explanation and expected you to be satisfied with that. You were not going to let the bastard play around with you anymore.

You storm into House's office slamming the door behind you. House looks at you curiously not the least bit intimidated although if not a little surprised to see you there.

"So what do I owe the pleasure? Cameron not putting out more anymore, so now you have to seek crippled old men? Is there something I should know Chase?" House spoke mockingly, as he continued to twirl around his cane in one hand.

"Fuck you, House. You have no right to call me a coward." You snapped. Only House could make you feel so frustrated and angry. He had this way of getting under your skin that literally made you want to hurt someone, preferably House himself.

"So you are telling me that you aren't a scared little wombat who runs away every time he sees me?" House questioned, eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

"No, House. What I'm telling you is that you are a goddamn hypocrite and that you are the last person who should be calling me a coward." You retorted. Maybe you were a coward for running away from House but what he had done was so much worse. The moment you got just a little closer to him, he pushed you away because that's what House does. He pushes people away till they give up and stop trying to get close to him. So why did it bother him that you were ignoring him when he had succeeded in his goal?

"Really and how do you figure that?" House questioned in that patronizing way of his.

"I can't believe you are seriously asking me that. House, you pushed me away the moment I stood up to you. You fired me without a proper reason or explanation. You gave me nothing House and you expected me to be okay with that. The moment someone comes even in the range of being possibly close to you, you screw them over. You can't stand the thought of getting hurt by someone else, so what do you do you hurt them first. You are nothing but a fucking coward." You spoke desperately, your voice filled with hurt and bitterness, your accent thickening. It seemed as if the anger had left and all that was left in its place was bottled up bitterness and sadness.

House didn't say anything. There was no mocking, no jokes, just silence.

"Look, House, I don't know what you want from me. I'm pretty sure it was your intention for me to stay away from you when you fired me and that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm staying away from you so I really don't understand why you care if I'm ignoring you or not." You said, sighing in resignation.

"Why did you kiss me that night?" House asked his voice soft.

"You didn't answer my question." You deflected, trying to avoid answering House's question.

"You didn't answer mine." House answered right back.

"Why did you kiss me?" House repeated forcefully.

"It's none of your business." You mumbled, knowing your feeble attempt at trying to keep from House from prying was going to fail.

"I make it my business when you kiss me, so I'm going to ask you again. Why did you kiss me Chase?"

"Don't make me say it, House." You pleaded, closing your eyes. Why the hell had you come here? Did you really think House would back down? You must have been really out of your mind when you had decided to confront House. Damn it, this was why you were so fucking passive-aggressive because being direct never really worked out well for you.

"Say it, Chase." House commanded firmly, his voice hoarse.

"Because...."

"Because..."

"I'm impossibly in love with you."

As soon as those words stumbled out of your mouth, you ran out House's office without bothering to look at his expression.

You don't think you have ever run so fast in your life.

viii.

Knock. Knock. Knock

You wake up to the sound of heavy knocking on your door that refuses to stop. You fumble in the dark for your cell phone, to see what time it was. You flip it open only to groan in annoyance, it was 2 a.m. Who the hell was visiting you at 2 a. m in the fucking morning? You stumble out of your warm and cozy bed and make your way towards the door.

"I'm coming." You yelled out, willing the person to stop banging so loudly on the door. You unlocked the door and opened the door only to come face to face with the last person you wanted to see at the moment.

It was none other than the devil himself also known as House.

"House, it's 2 am in the fucking morning. Couldn't this have waited until tomorrow?" You grumbled out in annoyance. You so did not need this right now. The humiliation of confessing to your former boss was overwhelming enough and you really did not need House to humiliate you any further. You had already managed to get that done all by yourself.

"We need to talk." House spoke briskly, as he walked past you and into your apartment.

"Go right ahead and invite yourself in." You muttered to yourself, as you closed the door behind. You turned around to face House.

"House, if you have come here to humiliate me, can you at least make it quick, I have an early morning shift and I really need to sleep." You said casually with no hint of discomfort in your voice. Although inside you were freaking out, it was a miracle you hadn't bolted out of the room yet.

"You left without hearing my reply." House commented.

"House, what did you expect me to do? Wait around for you to reject me and humiliate me some more?" You snapped exasperatedly.

"I wouldn't have rejected you." He said softly, truthfully with no hint of sarcasm in voice, all the while looking at you with unguarded blue eyes.

"What?" You asked in confusion, somehow you couldn't wrap your mind around what House had said.

"I said I wouldn't have rejected you."

"House, I don't understand what you are saying." You asked again. Surely, House couldn't mean what you thought he meant. No, that would be impossible. Cameron had a better chance of getting her feelings for House reciprocated than you. You crushed the faint glimmer of hope that had risen at House's words. No, this was definitely hoping for too much.

"Fuck, Chase, stop making this so hard." House muttered in frustration. You looked silently at House waiting for an explanation as to what he meant.

"Chase, I want you but I don't know what the hell you expect from me. I'm not someone who is going to take you out on dates nor am I ever going to bring you pretty little flowers. I'm nothing more than a bitter cynical man damaged beyond repair and that's not going to change, ever." House spoke honestly as you stared at him in shock. He had said he wanted you. House actually wanted you.

"House, I'm not Cameron. I don't want to fix you and I don't need flowers and dates to make me happy. Just being with you is enough even if you are an asshole most of the times." And that was the truth.

"So what you are saying is that even though I'm a complete and utter bastard, you still want to be with me." House said, smirking slightly seemingly more relaxed now.

"Basically, yeah." You were aware that House hadn't actually said he loved you but the fact that he said he wanted you so blatantly was more than enough for you at moment. That was a big enough step for him and you were content with that.

"Wow, you must be a total masochist." House smirked fully now, moving closer to you till he was only a few inches apart.

"And you are a narcissist, so I guess we are even." You sniped back. You put your hand on House's neck and pulled him down till your lips met his in a kiss. The kiss was rough and demanding, so unlike the chaste one you had given to House in the hospital bed. House's cane hit the ground with a loud thud as he pushed you against the door, one of his hands finding their way under you flimsy t-shirt, the other hand running through your blond hair. House pulled away breaking the kiss and stared down at your blushing face.

"What?" You whispered breathily, looking up at him through lowered lashes; unnerved with the way he was staring at you.

"You really do have the most prettiest hair I have ever seen." He murmured fingering your soft hair, his eyes clouded with desire. You blushed slightly at the way he said that but all thoughts left your mind as he leaned back down to kiss you again, his tongue demanding entrance to your mouth. You happily obliged because fuck, when have you ever had been able to deny anything to this man? Never.

You smiled slightly against his mouth because for once you were completely happy.

Life couldn't get any better than this.

~~Fin~~

A/N: Yay! I finally finished it. Well, hopefully you guys enjoyed it and that the ending wasn't disappointing. Tell me what you guys think by clicking the pretty little blue button!