Warning! This story is going to be very long! If you cannot stand long stories then do not read. If you do not like stories about incompetent aliens that no one likes then do not read this. If you cannot stand reading about the imminent destruction of Earth and enemies having to unite to stop the greater threat then DO NOT READ!!!
Thank you, that is all…
Invader Zim- The End?
Chapter 7
Zim crouched through the air ducts of the ship's left side. He crawled up to a split, decided to take the right and then proceeded through. He had asked Gir to remain in the ship in case they had to leave in a hurry. Since he was boarding an enemy ship without permission that was almost unavoidable.
He had on his Irken combatant outfit but had now taken off the suction-like helmet that protected him from the coldness of space.
Voices started to come ahead of him.
He cold not hear them so he sped up his progress.
They began to get clearer from inside the tunnel.
"When do you think we'll actually get some action?" The voice was very deep and sounded as though it was angry and tired as well. "I'm getting so tired of just sitting here and waiting! I want to kick some Irken butt! Now that I know what they tried to do to us I just want to kill every single little freaking Irken and those ridiculous leaders they have, The Tallest."
The second voice seemed to have food in his mouth as he spoke. "Well you'll have to wait a little bit longer ok? We can't attack this invader until all the others are captured."
"Why? That's such a ridiculous ploy. Why can't we just take them all at once? Otherwise, some could find out and then try to help the others or prepare for the attack."
Zim thought to himself. This guy has a point… Why would the twins allow the Irken invaders to find out about them? If they want to destroy them all then why would they take them off one by one? It's obvious that we would catch on and we already have. Even Irkens that are not invaders have found out. Though I don't know if it was as hidden from them or not.
Zim crawled closer to the conversation through the air ducts. He could clearly see the heads of the people talking now. They were Bludgeon and were sitting around a wooden table with cards and the Bludgeon form of money in the center. They had on matching gray uniforms with black stripes along the belt going vertically. There was also one stripe on the leg close to the backwards knee and there was one on the side of each of the muscular arms. Very, very muscular arms sat on their shoulders and it looked to Zim like they were body builders. He cringed at the thought of them using him as a toothpick (it just popped into his head, ok?).
"You shouldn't question Gagnor or his brother and sister for that matter. You'll only get hurt. You should know that by now…"
He nodded. "Ok, so… how do you play this again?"
"Well… I'm not entirely sure… The game's called poker. It's from Earth. I'm still learning it a bit myself."
Zim sighed. Even Bludgeons are as stupid as humans. Why play with such a primitive game? Why? Because they are stupid! Pathetic Bludgeons! Zim let out a cold hardy laugh that echoed through the ventilation system.
There was a creak and then the Bludgeons stood up in surprise.
Zim looked at his feet and gulped.
He fell through the vent and landed on the floor of the deck where the Bludgeons were standing.
"Oh, my aching cranium…"
The Bludgeons looked down at the little green creature that had just fallen out of the ducts. One of them smiled but it was not a wicked smile. It was one of those ridiculous smiles that Gir always gave him. "Look, the ship had a baby! What should we name it?"
The other Bludgeons slapped his head. "The ship did not have a baby! It's an Irken you dolt!"
"So… You don't want to name it?"
"Of course not!"
"Ok, I will!"
"What?"
The Bludgeon came forth and patted Zim's little green head. "You are now…" He thought for a second then spotted Zim's antenna. "Ant! That is your name now! You are my Ant and I will love you. And you will be mine."
Zim raised an eyebrow.
The, obviously, smarter Bludgeon slapped his forehead. "Out of my way." He pushed the first Bludgeon away and pulled a gun out of his pouch. He pointed it at the surprised Zim. He found great joy in the Irken's confused state. "You're wondering how Bludgeons came to get weapons after being such a non violent race?"
"Just a little…"
"We have the Irkens to thank for this actually. You see. If that Irken ship had not first crashed onto our planet all those years ago then we would not really know all that much about space or what lay beyond our atmosphere. It was quite pathetic of us to be so naïve. But now, because our leaders have become so adapted to Irken technology, we are learning to use it ourselves.
"It was an amazing thing. First using a gun. But I found it very useful for killing Irkens. I killed my very first one with his own weapon after wrestling it out of his hands. You Irkens are quite weak. The genes I suspect?" Zim nodded lightly, considerably diminished inside. "I thought so…
"It's very bad luck for you though that Bludgeons are bred to be strong and ready at all times. Even though we never fight our bodies will grow larger no matter what we do. Even if we merely sit in our rooms and stare at the ceiling we have found that our mussels will still grow a little bit. Even if we don't do anything at all we will get stronger. So it seems that you are at a little bit of a disadvantage little Irken."
Zim raised his hand.
The Bludgeon raised his eyebrow. "What?'
"You do know that I'm an invader right?"
"You are?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"No jokes?"
"Do I look like an Irken that likes jokes?" Zim lowered his eyebrows and glared at the Bludgeons.
"Uhh… not really."
"There you go."
"So you really are an invader?"
"Yes."
"Truly?"
"Are you an idiot or are you just deaf?"
He raised an eyebrow and then whipped a clipboard out from behind him. Zim wondered where it came from. The Bludgeon searched through the names as the other was eyeing Zim with curiosity. Zim eyed him back. They eyed each other for a while as the other searched for something. Zim spoke up. "Haven't you ever seen an Irken before?"
He shook his head.
"Never?"
"Never. You're my first."
Zim was a little confused. "Don't you fight Irkens?"
"Not really… The closest thing I've ever been near like an Irken is a little dummy that I was assigned to beat the stuffing out of in training." Zim grimaced "You're my first real Irken. Strange. "He rubbed his chin. "My dummy was a lot taller and had purple eyes." Zim knew what he was talking about. "But I guess it doesn't matter. I was told to expect fighting really small Irkens too. But I really want to see the tall ones too."
The Tallest…
He smiled and then it faded. He stared at Zim for a second and then thought to himself. The other was still looking on the clipboard. The Bludgeon moved in closer to the Irken and stared him directly in the green face. Zim leaned back a little. He was uncomfortable with the Bludgeon examining him like that. It was unnerving. "Wait a second…" He turned to the wall and looked along a row of things that were nailed up. He gripped one nail, ripped it out and plucked a roll of measuring tape off the wall. Then he put the tip to Zim's foot and measured upwards. He reached the head and looked at the roll. Then he examined a mark that he had made further downwards. He looked at Zim and frowned. "You sure you're Irken?" Zim nodded. He thought again. "That doesn't make sense… You must have grown…"
"What?"
"I have a marking of how large a normal Irken should be but… You're above it…"
"Really?" Zim wrenched the tape out of the Bludgeon's hands and looked it over.
The Bludgeon leaned in and pointed to a mark. "That's where a normal Irken should be." He ran his finger up the tape. "This is how tall you are."
"Wow! I did grow!" Zim smiled!
"Stop that!" The Bludgeon pointed to his clipboard. "You Zim?"
"No. This is Ant. Remember?"
Zim rolled his eyes. "Yes. I am Zim!" He accented the 'Zim'.
"Good… Grab him!" The Bludgeon darted forward for Zim. Unfortunately for them the Irkens were light and small for the simple fact that they were very nimble. Although Bludgeons were strong brutes that could take on anyone that dared go against them they were slow. Very slow. The entire mussel was on the upper parts of their body. The backwards legs, although good at jumping, were skinny and could not run very quickly. Zim easily dodged his assailant and leapt onto the table to get away. The Bludgeon was stunned. He slipped up and landed on the other Bludgeon. They collapsed into a pile and had trouble getting back out. "Ah! Idiot! Look what you did! Get the Irken! He's one that we need! If we take him early maybe we'll get a bonus!"
"Why am I the idiot? You did this!"
The two rolled around, trying to get back up. Zim took the chance that he had been given to flee into the corridor of the foreign ship.
---
The belly of the ship was enormous. He became lost a number of times. The ship was ridiculously large. He wondered how anyone working there made it around all the time. Just as he rounded a corner he stopped. He had been running for about twelve minutes now, non-stop and so he was pretty tired. Zim leaned against the wall, panting and slid down do that he was sitting on the hard, metallic floor of the deck. He sighed. "How is anyone supposed to find his or her way around this ship? It's so… big! Who would be able to remember all these twists and turns? No one! What kind of idiot makes a ship like this?" He looked across from him and saw a plaque on the wall. It read: Property of the Irken Massive Fleet. Zim sighed. "Oh…"
A voice came up above him. For a moment Zim thought that he had been found out. Then he realized that it was coming from a speaker above his head. He looked up as he listened. "Attention workers, there is an Irken invader aboard the ship. His name is Zim. The Irken invader from Earth. He has found out our plans and must be stopped." There was silence. "Ok, maybe he hasn't found out about our plans… But him being on this ship is not a good thing. He must be caught and captured immediately." It was the Bludgeon that had just tried to capture him. Zim frowned. He just had to make things even more difficult than they already were... great.
There was a thundering of footsteps down the hall. Zim could see approaching shadows. He looked around. He got to his feet and spotted a ladder. Zim ran to it and looked down. It was a long way to the bottom. He smiled and then jumped into the shaft as Bludgeons came from around the corner. "There he is!"
Zim fell.
He fell a long way.
If not for his plan he would have died then and there. His body would have smashed into the floor of the ship and he would have been killed upon impact. The mission would have been failed. He would have failed the Tallest. He would have failed all Irkens. He would have failed everyone. He wouldn't have been able to complete his take-over of Earth. He would have never had the chance to kill Dib. He would have never had the chance to take all those weapons that the alien hunter had. Gir would have no master. Tak would not be properly punished for her attempt at taking his mission. And Gaz… Gaz… He could think of nothing. He shook the thought from his head and then noticed he was even closer to the floor. He was almost there.
Zim pressed a button on his belt and waited as a jet of air burst out from underneath him. The gravity around his general direction reversed and his fall slowed to a descent. Soon he stopped completely. He was merely hanging in air. There was a bleeping coming from his pack. He extended the spider-like, robotic arms and clung to the ladder. He looked up at the Bludgeons staring at him. He had fallen down nearly fifty floors and they were nothing but specks. But he had good eyesight and he assumed that Bludgeons did as well. He stuck his tongue out at them and grinned in triumph and he zipped onto the floor and hurried through on his spider arms.
---
He peered around the corner and saw three Bludgeons talking to one another. They had deep, angry voices. They were all upset with the fact that they could not find him. It had been forty minutes since they last caught a glimpse of him. On his spider arms he had been able to avoid them all. No one had seen him since he stuck out his tongue on the ladder. He thoughts someone had a while ago but they had not and so he was still free. He considered forty minutes to be a new record in terms of not being caught on an enemy ship when everyone is looking for you.
"Why can't we just kill the Irken again?"
"Because it's not part of the plan."
"Which is?"
"To throw all of the invaders into the Planet Jackers' sun as the Tallest watch. Then we kill the Tallest and have a party."
"I like that party idea."
"Can we have one now?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because the Irken is loose on our ship."
"I wish he would come out of hiding."
"Me too."
"I want a party."
"Me too."
Zim ducked behind the wall and hurried down another corridor.
---
The Irken hurried around a wall and then hurried back as he avoided the sight of about ten Bludgeons marching down the hall. He pressed up against the wall and frowned. Once the Bludgeons made their way away from him. He sighed and clenched his hands in anger. "Why can't anything be easy?"
He turned the corner and came face to face with…
A map.
He stared for a moment. "That's convenient." He looked it over. "You are here…" He located the part of the ship that he needed to go to. He pulled his finger along the map and directed it from that place to where he was several times until it was in his head. He noticed that there were little maps in a bucket close by. He took one. "Very good."
He hurried to where he had to go.
---
"Gir!"
"Yes?"
"Open the door!"
"What's the magic password?"
"I don't have time to play games!"
"Tell me the magic password to get in."
"I don't know the magic password! Open up!"
"Not without the magic password. I'll give you hints."
"Fine Gir! Fine! But hurry! I don't have that much time!"
"First hint. It starts with a letter that humans use in a bathroom."
"That humans use in a bathroom? What the hell? Give me another!"
"Think of Loki, the Greek trickster god. His traits match the sound of it."
"Geez Gir. How many upgrades did I give you? Anyways his trait is tricky but…"
"Still don't get it? Ok, it's a plural word. Tricky works. The first hint was a P. What is it?"
"Tricky? P? Plural word? I don't have the foggiest idea… Wait…" Zim rolled his eyes. "Piggies."
Gir smiled and opened the door. Zim climbed in and started the ship up. But not before the Bludgeons on the ship realized that he was boarding his cruiser. They leapt out into cruisers of their own and sped after him as he went for the planet's surface.
They fired shot after shot at the Irken cruiser. Trying to knock it from the sky. That's what they were attempting to do.
Zim expertly avoided each blast. He had gotten much better at flying his ship over the years on Earth. There was not much else that he could have done. Earth was boring and when he didn't have a plan he would hone his skills. Flying. Shooting. Killing. Plotting. His evil laughs. That sort of stuff.
Gir bounced up and down in his seat next to Zim. He was having the time of his life. Each shot was like a firework to him. He smiled with his tongue sticking out. He looked at his toy moose and a thought came into his head. What if his moose wanted to see the fireworks up close? He did. Why not moose? And his master? What of him? Did he want to see them too? Of course he would! Fireworks are fun! Gir smiled his little smile and placed a robotic arm on a pad in front of him. He dragged his arm across the pad and then pressed two buttons.
The ship veered.
Zim cried out.
Gir laughed.
The shot was fired.
The Irken cruiser left engine was struck.
The ship went spiraling to the Earth.
Zim cried out.
Gir laughed.
The Bludgeons slapped their heads at the fact that they had just killed him.
---
Tak sighed. She flicked a gnome out in the front yard and sighed again. "Zim's been gone a long time."
The humans agreed. Dib spoke up. "Maybe he fled Earth to save his own Irken skin. After all. He never told us that he was going or where."
"Zim wouldn't do that. He wants to conquer Earth, remember?"
Dib frowned.
"Well he better show up soon." Tak crossed her arms. "I'm getting tired of waiting for him to show up."
"Ahhhhhhh!!!!" Kim started to speak but merely pointed to the sky. They all followed her gaze.
Zim's ship was coming down. It was spiraling out of control over the city. The engine was a blaze and the hull was badly burned from re-entering the atmosphere without activating the shield. They all stared in shock as the Irken vessel fell to the Earth's surface and was buried with the waves of the river.