title: to death's other kingdom
summary: the emptiness coalesces, grows a face and a name, and he suddenly understands.
spoilers: all hell breaks loose part 2
pairings: none
warnings: minor blood, character death
category: angst, future fic, deathfic
word count: 300
disclaimer: not mine; not getting paid; I'm just playing with them.
author's note: title from the hollow men by t.s. eliot.
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Sam wakes after a month in the hospital (though he won't know until later how long it's been). He wakes with a vague memory of claws, sharp ripping pain, the taste and smell of blood everywhere, Dean cursing and praying and begging Sammy hang on, just hang on, Dean's arms holding him together as he bled out. He wakes weak and shaky, with an unfamiliar emptiness hovering at the edge of his muddled thoughts.
The pretty nurse smiles at him (Dean will be hitting on her, if he hasn't already) and the doctor comes in and talks about trauma and blood loss, massive injury and four surgeries and how lucky he is that he'll eventually make a full recovery.
Sam nods slowly, his body still off a few seconds in responding to his commands. The hollow space in his mind hovers like a black hole, like maybe they accidentally removed part of his soul during one of those surgeries. He doesn't know what it is, but it's wrong. Very wrong. He needs Dean. Dean will know how to fix it.
"Where's..." he asks, then trails off, because he was barely conscious when Dean carried him in, screaming for help, and he's not sure whether the hospital thinks they're brothers or cousins or co-workers. "Where's my..."
"Brother?" The doctor guesses, and at Sam's nod he continues, "I honestly don't know. He was here 24/7 until a couple days ago, and then he just disappeared. I think he left a letter for you, though. I'll ask one of the nurses to get it."
The nebulous, indistinct emptiness coalesces, grows a face and a name, and Sam suddenly understands. He asks for the date, but deep down he already knows.
It's been one year and three days since he died in Cold Oak.
(end)