Title: Good Intentions

Summary: When Dean came here...did he know he was going to die?

Spoilers: 3.02 The Kids Are All Right. Haven't seen it? Don't read this. It won't make sense anyway.

Pairings: None really

Warnings: Character death

Category: Angst, deathfic, episode tag (kinda)

Word Count: 400

Disclaimer: Not mine; not getting paid; I'm just playing with them.

Author's Note: My muse insisted. Blame her.

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Lisa lied about the blood test. She was fairly certain Ben wasn't Dean's—the odds were against it—and she figured she'd be doing Dean a favor by giving him a clear answer. Until she said it, she thought it was what he wanted to hear; and by the time she saw his disappointment, it was too late to take it back.

She wanted to tell Dean the truth then, but it seemed cruel to give him false hope, since he probably wasn't Ben's dad.

But as Ben got older, more green crept into his hazel eyes, and the sunlight scattered faint freckles across his nose and cheekbones. Lisa couldn't deny it anymore, and she couldn't stop thinking about Dean, about the sadness in his eyes when he'd looked at Ben knowing that he could never be a part of the child's life.

Around the time Ben turned ten, everything—the tilt of his head, the way he smirked, the crinkle at the corners of his eyes—started bringing back faint memories of Dean. The kid even started walking slightly bowlegged, and he definitely didn't get that from Lisa. She knew what she had to do.

So she called the number Dean had left—"just in case they ever needed him"—and to her surprise, his brother answered instead. Sam, she remembered—tall and dark-haired with a dimpled smile. Lisa asked for Dean. There was a long silence on the other end.

"Dean's...gone," Sam said finally, his voice weary with aged grief. "He died. More than a year ago."

No. This couldn't be right. Lisa got an awful sick feeling in her stomach, because Dean was dead and she'd robbed him of whatever time he might have had with his son.

She remembered suddenly, the way Dean had looked wistful and talked about leaving something behind, and she had to know. "Can I ask you one thing?" She said. "When Dean came here...did he know he was going to die?"

Another pause, but finally Sam replied, "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

Lisa hung up and went into Ben's room. He was sleeping peacefully, and she sat beside the bed, watched the dim light fall across his face, throwing long dark lashes into stark relief against lightly freckled skin. He was already busy breaking hearts, hers included...just like his dad.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, watching her fatherless child sleep. "I'm so sorry."

(finis)