Hello Hello!
AS always I don't own Any odd world crap.
Enjoy!!
--
"HEY UGLY" Some one screamed.
Feoa felt a dull thump on the dirt beside her as she saw a rock skittered by. Breathing quickly, tugging at her smock in anticipation She turned from her solitary patrol of the ramshackle settlement she called home to face a young gang of sixxers, sevenners, and eightys outlaw children. Hostility and resentment rolled off them like a fog, engulfing her. Their eyes, squinty from the sun and dust, gave her frightening glaring knives that tore her to pieces.
A weedy tall sevenner with a nose nearly as pronounced as Feoa's stood arrogantly in front of the mob as the chief. Feoa knew this sevenner as Billy, still too young to have his full outlaw name.
Their mothers were milk sisters, Bella Tata (Billy's Ma) came over frequently to obtain Feoa's Ma's bag cream to help soothe her sore nipples that were always attached to a suckling whelp. If Feoa was correct, Billy was the middle child of many and was always ignored by his Ma, this made him angry. Which he extended to Feoa every moment he could for she always had her Ma's undivided attention as a only child.
Cradle hoggers as the offspring of a lady outlaw who only gave birth to one baby were called, are extremely rare. Usually a women's pride and joy was how many little nippers she could produce to take care of her later in life. A lone suckling either meant a new mother or a mother with something horrible wrong with her insides. Both were usually treated with kindness and empathy.
Since Feoa was a cradle hog, this only brought more attention to how much different she was from her peers.
Feoa didn't have some witty comeback for this insult for she didn't have enough warning that her arch nemesis was going to interact with her today.
For example, If her mother would have mentioned that aunty Tata would be coming the next day, Feoa would have spent the night plotting insults and quips to the possible arrival of Billy along with a crew of his kin.
However this unexpected foray by Billy made Feoa resort into a desperate retort.
"YOUR UGLY" She shrilled back, trying to act tough by widening her stance and putting her arms akimbo. This was a epic failure however. Her voice cracked on ugly and it was a awful short notice bon mot.
Billy chuckled nasally and hurled another rock hidden in his hand. Feoa ducked it easily.
"Wowzee Billy, nevered thought ya threwed like A WINGLESS CLACKER" Feoa shrieked gleefully as she scooped up a pebble and flung it at Billy. The pebble even found its mark. Feoa was incredible proud that she had recovered from that humiliating crap come-back and made Billy look weak. This however was short lived.
Billy made a strangled grunt as the pebble bounced off his head. He stared around dazzled before finding the pebble at his feet. He peered for a moment at it, his face became as red as a opple. He gurgled miserably and Feoa thought he was going to cry. However hhe shouted with surprising clarity " GET UGLY" This was responded by a hail of rocks coming down upon Feoa. This was usually the first line of attack until the mob was close enough to rushed her.
Yelping Feoa turned tailed and run for might quite possibly be her life. Rocks pounded her on her back and legs, leaving smarting flesh that made it hard to run. Feoa's long straight long legs quickly carried her away from the others, who mostly had bowed squat legs.
Billy unfortunately was as quick as her, his lean long legs much like Feoa's. He followed Feoa all the way to her house, yelling and screaming. Feoa saw her rickety house coming fast as she leapt through the jumbled maze of a settlement. Feoa bounded into her home slamming the door into Billy's face. He cursed for a few moments before leaving. He knew the rules of combat ended once the foe had retreated to ones house.
Breathing hard Feoa felt tears streaming down her filthy face. She leaned upon the flimsy door, her heart was yammering on her breast bone like a woodpecker. Feeling an all consuming sadness that twisted her gut she hollered for her Ma, stumbling into the back yard.
Sugar Mama was tending to her scraggly plants when her only child came bawling to her. Without a word Ma enclosed Feoa in her heavy dirt encased form, whispering sweet nothing to her daughter.
"Wat, wat happened" she asked in her croaking voice.
"Noting" Feoa sobbed, the age old law of no snitching commanding her to.
"Oh oh oh" Ma crooned cradling Feoa in her lap. They sat like until Feoa quieted into sniffles.
Sugar Mama decided to speak a great wisdom to her daughter, one that she wished that she never had to, like all the other outlaw mothers did. Yet it was the cruel undeniable truth of all outlaws that turn honey children sour.
"Baby, tose other chiljun are mean, mean, mean. Tay wont leaves ya 'lone till yer mean back" Ma murmured softly, surprising Feoa by how much she knew.
" All ou'laws are mean, tats wat we are, tats how we servive."
--
As the rumbling settled and the bridge was blown to issty bitsy pieces, Spade recovered herself from the sudden explosion and possibility of Strangers demise. It was odd, that quite feasibly the one of the few people she despised just randomly blew up.
Just like that, gone.
She wasn't sure whether or not she be glad that a little wart was obliterated from her life.
True she wouldn't have to deal with ass face anymore and have practically free reign of the bounties, but he just had to be killed along with her bounty that she risked her ass for.
A more sinister consequence occurred to Spade. Now that she was the only bounty hunter in the area she would also be the sole hate target of the outlaw gangs. And they will be awfully more pissed if they found out who she really was.
Shuddering Spade crept up to the chasm to see if she could find Strangers corpse.
She froze, two outlaw bombers were arguing on the opposing cliff over Strangers limp form. Spade quickly dropped to the dirt before either of them saw her.
So that's why he blow up. Spade thought to herself, That probably means that there's a gang around here.
It was unheard of that two grunts were loners. Seeing such a thing only meant that there was a whole nest of them somewhere near.
She watched them closely as they bickered amongst themselves like pansies, too terrified to even touch Stranger.
Watching them, she caught a glimpse of Stranger rousing himself. This went unnoticed by the two idiots until Stranger had drew himself up to his most ominous height. They paused in mid- sentence as they realized their catch was a fully able Stranger. They fled in utter piss-their-trousers horror to get enough purchase between them and Stranger to bombard the hell out of him.
This of course was unbelievable moronic once the target realizes that your trying to mow him down with a rain of bombs. Stranger was able to easily move out of the incoming bombs and go straight to the Bomber and slap him silly.
Spade grouched to herself, slightly disappointed that he wasn't crow chow. She began the tedious climb down the cliff face, so Mr. Scarecrow wouldn't leave her behind again.
This ended with a haphazard crushing of her ass bones as she fell on the them. She turned to find Stranget sucking up the last grunt into his bracer.
Great, more mulaah for stupid head.
Amazingly he waited for Spade to trudge up to him. This change of heart made Spade slightly sucspious.
"We'er cam'in ter for de night" he informed Spade, pointing to a fire across the trash littered clearing. Obviously once belonging to the two grunts
Repulsed by Stranger inapt thinking process she responded slowly for his benefit.
"Tat is a bosh idea, doncha know tat is a ou'law cam'? Ters a flippin gang somwheres near ter to slit our troaghts once day find us."
Stranger shrugged as if not bothered by it at all. "Noting I cant 'andle" He began to mosey his lean form over to the fire in the fading light as if it was a homely hotel instead of a beacon for all kinds of scum.
"Well bully for ya chap, when we get a bushed whacked by does outlaws, I'll jest be a burning the breeze and cha can just buss my bum ya fice" Spade yelled at Stranger throwing her arms in the air in frustration.
She followed Stranger none the less, he did have her bounty after all.
Stranger kicked around some things in the small outlaw camp to his satisfaction before popping a squat next to the fire. Spade took a spot across from him, quite tired from the days endeavors. She was also dying from the unbearable pain of her hunger.
Stranger was content with watching her agony a bit as she grabbed her stomach to keep it from grumble its woes to the world.
He finally decided to pull out a small fuzzy ball of teeth. Spade watched in interest, anything to keep her distracted from the hunger. He placed the small creature face first into the hard packed dirt. It snarled fuming and gnashing the ground struggling to bite Strangers fingers off. Suddenly Stranger arched his ham sized fist through the air and hammered the poor thing unconscious. He then took a small dirk and slit it just below its mouth. Dark purplish blood foamed out the wound and into Strangers gaping mouth.
Once the creature was drained of blood he set it to the side and did the same to four other fluffy balls of fur.
Feoa watched all this with detached disgust, even though she did her share of skinning small animals. She didn't go as far as drinking the critters raw blood. Despite her grain of aversion to what Stranger was doing, she was more concerned whether or not she would get any to eat.
After Stranger had his collection of dead animals, he began to skin them and throw the furs into a pile.
The grotesque balls of stringy, bloody muscle reminded her when her Ma and some others of the mothers butchered the community bull. Ma got a slab of steaming meat along with a small round bloody thing which Ma told was the "testicle" of the bull. Spade didn't know what it was at the time and devoured it later that night. However, in a few years maturity she learned with sickening realization what she ate truly was.
Disturbing Spade's little remembrance, Stranger chucked one of the balls at her. Blood flickered across her off-white shirt as the yarn of meat thudded sickeningly off her chest and onto the dirt.
"Cha can chew dat chow raw or trow it in da fire" He rumbled.
Aggravated by the dark maroon splatter stains, Spade didn't bother answering and plucked up the critter carcass. She then gently dropped her bloody dinner into the embers. She then constructed a little house of scrap wood around the searing flesh, to keep the intense heat, cooking it.
By then the last drops of twilight had leaked out of the sky leaving only the waning moon and stars to illuminate the sky.
A violent bout of crackling and popping from Spades supper spurred a comment from Stranger.
"It's done." he said through his mouth full of uncooked fuzz ball. Organs slipped around in his mouth like the meat and potatoes of a stew.
Grimacing from the trash hole Stranger called a mouth, Spade skewered her small round pound of burned flesh with a stick she found near by. The very outside was burned black and flaked miniscule cinders that drifted lazily down like snowflakes. It smelled quite wonderful, despite it's unappetizing appearance. Sizzling fat made Spades mouth water as the aroma drifted through her bandana into her nostrils.
Cautiously, making sure that Stranger was fully occupied with his third bleeding mass of meat, Spade tugged down her bandana. The air touching her nude face felt soothing, for the rough material had chapped her pale skin red.
Her oval face protruded and receded in all the wrong places. Instead of a delicate almost non existent nose, there was a triangular snout that stood independent of her mouth. Her brow protruded as much as a outlaw's nose was supposed to, little to none at all.. Her chin, instead of gently sloping into a crepe-like neck, stuck out sharply.
These mismatched features were so odd, so unusual, so ugly that Spade couldn't stand any one to look upon her face. Not even when she was surrounded by family did she feel completely accepted. Why would outsiders be anymore welcoming?
She wolfed down her roasted meat, trying to cram as much as she could in her mouth so that she cover up her face once more in that embracing shroud. But, oh how the meat was delicious from the long day of starving. The smoky mesquite flavor was all the seasoning the tough gristly meal needed.
Once Spade spat out the pinching jaws of the creature like an opple core, she spotted Stranger glancing at her. Spade hurriedly jerked her bandana over her nose in a clumsy movement.
"Wat yar look'in at" she growled. Stranger made a neutral grunt and busied him self with his last once-fuzzy creature.
Despite her earlier oath to herself of excess interacting with butt wipes, she was curious to the name of what she just ingested. She had seen the tiny critter all though her life along with a few others. No-one had bothered answering what was deemed "stupid" inquires of what they were called though. Most of those Spade knew paid as much attention to these critters as they did to shit. Ignored till it got in the way.
"Soo wat is tat varmit yer chewing" Spade asked after a moment of silence to heal the way she snapped at Stranger.
He eyed Spade as if she was quite stupid. This look remained as he pulled at the viscous little jaws of the animal he just consumed with his sausage figures that ended with black dagger-nails. Toying with the sharp teeth he seemed to mediate the question quite thoroughly. The way he was lounging there made Spade notice on how comically his fore-arms bulge compare to the rest of his sinewy body. It was as some one decide to put huge ham-hocks on either side of a digging hoe.
"What do ya go by" He asked, troubling himself by pronouncing the H sound of what. This was nothing, however, to the erratic nature of the question.
Spade raised a brow in disbelief. "Ya don't knows me name?"
Stranger walled his eyes at her, stating that the obliviously of his question answered hers. Why would he asked her if he already knew.
Spade opt on rather then telling Stranger her current alias she would go under a new name, since that butt sore Blister Booty would be squealing all over that she was now known as Spade. Even though a handful, at best, knew this.
She quickly fumbled for one of her most cherished possessions in the large pockets of her pants. As all outlaws did, she always carried an item of the most priceless value to her. This object was all the source of good luck and good fortune in her life, and was chosen on the very end of her childhood and of the cusp of her adulthood. Losing it was the greatest misfortune one could imagine, like losing a loved one or a limb. This item was called a life charm.
Spades life charm was an old tattered deck of cards. It once was her great granpappy's life charm, way back when Steef used to roam freely. She would often play poker or some other type of game with her granny many evenings with those stained yellow cards. Those evenings were the best of her young life. It was the time when she forgot what she was.
She shuffled them in a practiced manner feeling the reassuring worn edges made her feel relaxed. Spade would often consult her cards as a sort of divining tool for many questions. Right now she was concentrating on the sole intent of a new name.
Slowly after a few respective shuffling, she felt the cards were ready. She tenderly took the top card off glanced at it and returned it to its pack. Spade replaced it in her pocket.
"Wat was tat all 'bout?" Stranger rumbled.
"Me names is Ace" She responded
Stranger gave a cough-like chuckle. " No it aint" he purred " Isnt it somting like Fo or leeeee-a"
Instantly Feoa became agitated. "NO NO NO" she nearly screamed.
Stranger made a waving motion at Feoa. "Calm ya Horses 'ittle missy. Now I's know it tant Ace but I 'eards wat tat outlaw said……"
Spade quickly interrupted him "FINE, me names is Spade, happy?" she hissed.
Stranger shrugged, giving up on knowing what this strange little being was. Her unpredictable moods would leave him more then irked and he was just fine with letting her simmer in her own ugly temper.
Spade sat there glowering at him till her eyes got tired, presumably from looking at pure unadulterated ass face for so long. She soon felt the day's stress and weariness fall upon her like a mist. Yawning she laid down facing away from Stranger, grumbling on how confusing her cards had been.
Of all cards she had chosen, an Ace of Spades was her card.