Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
Me: Has anyone noticed that only females r on my blurbs, except for Abe, my brother? But who knows, he might be a girl in secret and that would mean I have three older sisters instead of two. O.o
Abe: WTF did u just say?! You lesbian!
Me: Hey, hey! I wouldn't mind if I was but I'm BIsexual! There's a difference, you know!
Abe: A small difference!
Me: Just shut up! It's a difference nonetheless!
Abe: O.O
Me: What, scared that I used a long word? Huh? Huh?! Mwuahahahaha!
Abe: It's not that long, stupid.
Me: Yes, it is! Nonetheless is longer than alphabet! Alphabet used to be the longest word in the entire world when I was in kindergarten!
Abe: That was when ur vocabulary sucked!
Me: …So r u saying I have good vocabulary now:D
Abe: Man, ur so stupid.
By the way Yorusoi fans, I don't want to die so stop stalking me and trying to torture me to fix that problem in the last chapter!! Dx U all can be very scary, u know that?? VERY scary… So scary, idk how I haven't died out of fright yet!
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Chapter16: Never Give In, Never Quit
Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, DAMNIT!!!
Soi paced in her living room, her hands fisting and un-fisting as she angrily looked down at the floor, scattered thoughts running around her head all the while. Memory of what just happened in her bedroom flashed in her mind's eye and she was getting frantic---she was already pacing faster.
"Damnit," she whispered to the empty room and she slowed her pace to a stop. Turning her head to the direction of her room that was up the stairs, she stared with forlorn grey eyes and an ache broke in her chest. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. She hated it.
Yoruichi was a woman. She was a stripper. She was her friend. How could Yoruichi possibly love her? It was impossible… It was ridiculous… It was…wrong. Soi's mind was still racing and her heart was beating too fast for her to count.
Hands formed into fists once more. "Why?" she asked, her voice strained from the emotions inside her. The one word that popped in her head, the one word she kept screaming in her mind while down there in the living room…was why. Soi bowed her head, her fists shaking now.
"Yoruichi… Why did this have to happen to us? Why does it have to hurt…so much?" She sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the floor. Her long black hair covering her face, she shook her head and shut her eyes tightly. She felt like crying, but Soi Fong knew that it wouldn't be fair if she did---she was the one to decline the goddess's love after all. "I'm sorry, Yoruichi…"
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Yoruichi wrapped the covers around herself more tightly, eyes squeezed shut as she buried her face deeper into the pillow of Soi's bed. A whimper escaped her lips before she could choke it back in. She was unused to the anguished feeling she felt and the tears that she wanted to cry, but didn't. It all felt way too much and the words echoed in her head again.
"I don't love you, Yoruichi."
She hid back into the covers, thinking, hoping, that it'll lessen the amount of pain those few words gave her. It was futile, but she did it anyway. That sentence kept echoing in her head---it wouldn't stop. "Make it stop…," she whispered, her voice so different from before. It didn't sound like her. It wasn't her. …Or was it? She hated the fact that the pillow, the blanket, the bed, and even the room---everything here reminded her of Soi.
The scent was even more remindful.
Wiping her eyes and sniffing a little, she sat up on the bed and stared at the door. Her mind flashed with the images just a few hours ago. She gasped and hugged herself tightly, shaking this way and that. The kiss… Her hand hesitantly trailed up and touched her lips, remembering the feel of Soi's lips on hers as she felt herself tremble. She shook her head angrily. It was that kiss, that kiss that made this all happen. If she had been able to control her lust, she and Soi would be sleeping side-by-side right now and, if she were lucky, been able to watch her friend sleep peacefully before falling asleep herself. It was all her fault.
'Fix it,' said a voice, 'Show Soi that this won't stop you---that you really do love her.'
I tried! she thought back, bringing her hands to her head. But she doesn't care---she doesn't love me.
'Yes, she does---and you know it.'
The stripper was quiet, but she was still shaking her head. Did love make you talk to yourself? If it doesn't, Soi must be making her go crazy.
'Convince her and try to discuss your feelings, about everything. You still have a chance---grab it before it's too late.'
The voice became silent now. As if it had said what needed to be said and left right after. Now she was all alone, alone to make a decision. Should she chase after Soi Fong? Yoruichi looked at the door again. What if I fail? What then? She realized that the voice was correct---she needed to take a chance. She needed to make a risk.
She shook her head again. "A risk? A risk to be in love…with Soi?" She bit her lip. 'What ifs' kept popping in her head and it was making her all stressed out. She groaned and ran her hands through her hair. "I have to take a chance…and if she says no, then I'll…" She didn't want to think about what would happen if she was turned down again.
The Shihouin finally stood and cautiously approached the door. She was a bit clumsy from laying down so long but she managed fine enough. She reached for the handle and grasped it. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes briefly and opened them with a new resolve, one that was weary but too stubborn to give in just yet. She opened the door and it yielded without a sound.
Right at that moment, she felt fortunate to have a second voice in her head back in the bedroom. If it weren't for the plus side that came with love, this might not have happened. A good thing or a bad thing, she didn't know. All she knew, all she wanted, was to be with Soi.
Please don't reject me again, Soi Fong.
---------------- BLEACH ------------------
Soi Fong had dragged herself to a wall, leaning on it for support as she stared straight ahead, but not actually focusing. She was thinking of Yoruichi.
I never asked her why she was a stripper, she mused sadly. She's so beautiful, so cunning, so…perfect. Why is she stripping? This confused her and when she came across answers of: 'She likes it' and 'She loves to do it with people---with lots of money as a side bonus.' Soi had to stop herself right then and there because she knew Yoruichi wasn't anything like that. There had to be another reason why…
There were clues, there had to be clues as to why Yoruichi strips. Soi Fong thought to all those times she spent with Yoruichi, yet she still couldn't find any answers. She reran it again in her mind and tried to remember every little detail that she may have looked over. What about the calls? she suggested to herself, She always looked tense when her phone rang… Soi began to frown. Wasn't all the calls Yoruichi ever had were from the strip club?
Yoruichi was never one to take orders, she recalled back when she was still at the orphanage and Yoruichi came to visit. Even now, I'd still have to do a little persuasion to get her to do something for me…but not as much as anyone else would have to. So, why was she following orders from her boss so easily?
A simple answer popped in her mind: 'Because it's her boss and he could fire her.' And that leaded her to once again, why Yoruichi would want to stay a stripper. "God, why am I even thinking of this?" she groaned out. "Shouldn't I be thinking of why I'm down here and Yoruichi's up there?" This was all driving her crazy.
Then she caught a flash of purple on the stairs. Soon after that she glimpsed a smooth, tanned hand sliding on the stair rail and she knew…she knew Yoruichi had decided to come down.
Her trail of thought was cut off and she stared. Is she leaving? Soi wondered. Is she trying to leave while thinking I'm asleep? Her heart throbbed and she hung her head once more. I shouldn't be the one hurting right now---I was the one who said I didn't love her, Soi reminded herself miserably.
"Soi? Soi Fong, are you in here?" the voice sounded so quiet, so worried and unsure, that it made the Chinese woman look up---the consequences that came with it already flying out the window.
Soi's eyes widened because right there, if only a few meters away, stood Yoruichi Shihouin. The goddess looked slightly disheveled in appearance and the tired, hurt expression was still etched on the woman's beautiful face, but only imperceptibly. Soi gazed at her in wonder. "Y-Yoruichi?" Soi quickly, if a little clumsily, stood to her feet and braced herself against the wall. "I… Yoruichi, I…"
"Soi Fong," the stripper said loudly, cutting the Chinese woman off, and took a step forward. This caused Soi to take a step back but she was already up against the wall. The goddess swallowed. "I want to talk to you. It's about…It's about what happened in the bedroom."
Soi Fong froze but came back into motion.. "Look Yoruichi," she started to say hastily, "I---"
"I need you to stop lying."
Losing her balance against the wall, Soi brought her head up and faced the woman before her. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She was at a loss for words.
"Soi, please. If you're going to lie, at least don't lie to yourself…" Yoruichi looked at her with helpless eyes. "I need you to be honest. Please, just trust me."
The petite woman only stared, the shock still clear on her face. Then she bit her lip and her gaze fell to the floor. "I told you," she said, her voice soft and not hard as it usually would be, "I can't be with you…" Soi swallowed hard and thought, I don't even know why, really. You're a mystery to me, Yoruichi. If I can't figure myself out, how am I supposed to understand you?
Even though Soi had said that back in the bedroom, it still hurt Yoruichi now. The cocoa-skinned woman swallowed again and nodded. "Yeah, you did tell me that. But, you have feelings for me, don't you? I'm right, aren't I?" Please say yes.
Soi glanced at her from beneath her bangs, and looked away as she replied, "Yes… Maybe you are." There was a short pause and Yoruichi's heart skipped a beat. "I think…I think I may have feelings for you Yoruichi, but I'm not, I'm not so sure that I..."
Hopeful, the stripper took another step forward but was worried again when she saw Soi's body flinch. "Soi… I don't get it. Why don't you want to be with me then?" There was another pause between them. "Is it because I'm a woman?" she finally asked. "It is, isn't it?"
Soi Fong refused to look at her. Not confirming or objecting; only stood there. She couldn't help but think, If I said yes, would you finally leave me alone? but Soi knew she couldn't tell off a lie in a situation such as this. She didn't care Yoruichi was a woman either---she had already fallen for Yoruichi in their childhood. If only she knew that the way she felt for her friend then wasn't friendship but something more serious, then maybe they would've been able to avoid all this and… Soi Fong threw that thought away but then something else popped out, Am I really in love with her? And she shook her head to clear it all out. Soi waited for Yoruichi to say something.
The cocoa-skinned woman was getting tired of this. Somehow, all the confidence she had recovered back in the bedroom had vanished and as this confrontation kept going, she was getting more and more angry. She was getting angry at Soi Fong because the woman wouldn't give her at least an explanation of why the hell she wouldn't love her, why the heck she wouldn't want be with her, and why the hell she kissed her like she was everything she ever wanted but in the end, shattered it all away with just that one ugly sentence… She was angry at Soi, because she made her fall for the most unexpected person in her life. Her best friend from the past and the woman she cared about now. She didn't ask to fall in love---but Soi had somehow found her way through the maze of her heart and opened the forbidden part she kept locked inside. She wasn't the same anymore.
And neither was Soi Fong.
Then a ringing noise filled the space, startling the two, and they searched the room frantically for the sound with their eyes. Soi was the first to spot it and her eyes stayed glued to the purse on the couch. When Yoruichi recognized the ring tone, her face couldn't be anymore paler. Why did they have to call now of all times? Didn't she ask for a few days off? The older woman glanced at her friend who was still gazing at the purse and finally decided to take the phone call quickly.
She took a deep breath and gave a weak smile. "I should answer that," she said, the tiny weak smile quivering on her lips. She walked towards the couch and tried to keep her cool. Rummaging around for her cell, she brought it out and quickly flipped it open. "Goddess of Flash speaking."
Soi Fong had noticed. She had noticed everything. She listened, she watched, and she stayed silent while Yoruichi spoke. She closed her eyes. Is this all my fault? Should I have just given in instead of pushing her away? Why did I even… She got off the wall, barely noticeable, and started slow-walking out the room. She didn't bother glancing at Yoruichi---she had a feeling that "Boss" was the one she was talking to. Jealousy and anger rose in her gut. The sick bastard probably found another guy who wanted to fuck Yoruichi, Soi thought darkly. I'm going to beat his ass one day. Soi went to wait by the stairs.
"We need you now, Kitty. The boys miss you---that means good cash for you and me."
"Don't you remember about my days off?" Yoruichi asked impatiently. She forgot all manners to the boss and wanted to get back to Soi quickly. She had seen the woman leave the room.
"Forget it," he told her and for once, dismissed the bad manners, "This is money we're talking about. All you need to do is get fucked by the customer and his friends, do whatever they say, and we'll get about 90 grand in cash at the very least. You're lucky that you're the most wanted or else it would've been near 20 to 30 thousand. Maybe even 10. You are the goddess, Kitty---a miracle worker." The man chuckled on the other side of the line.
She opened her mouth angrily to say, 'Forget it, why don't you go there and get fucked by those men like the damn freak'n bastard you are and leave me the fuck alone? I'm not you're pet anymore!' but then her father entered in her mind. She stopped abruptly and her eyes shot wide. Despair entered her system and Soi flashed in her head. She wanted to be with Soi yet here she was, about to go get fucked with how many men and she was gonna let them do it…all because of him.
She gritted her teeth and growled beneath her breath. She despised, loathed, her father ever since the night she got raped by his so-called drunk friends. That night was a memory she will never forget and will always keep it close to remind her how cruel life and reality can be. Dreams and wishes were just as bad---they showed you what you do not or cannot have. It wasn't the first time in life she thought everything was just a sick joke.
"I'll pick you up now. Are you at the regular?"
She snapped back into time and realized her boss was still on the phone, talking while she was thinking of why her life was so miserable because of her father. "No," she managed to say, a small hint of annoyance hidden in her voice. "I'm…I'm somewhere else," she admitted bitterly. Hollow inside, she gave the boss the address of Soi's home when he asked casually and heard him say, "See you soon, Kitty. I'll be waiting for you when your customers have had their turn."
She hated her job.
When Yoruichi was done conversing with her boss, she sighed and hanged up. She tiredly slumped down on the couch and a tremendous feeling of sleepiness overwhelmed her. Wait, I can't sleep now… Boss and Soi… She groaned and massaged her temples. Finally standing, she went out the living room and found Soi Fong sitting at the bottom of the stairs. Hesitation entered her system but the conversation from her boss made her move forward.
"Soi." The waitress slowly looked up. Good, a reaction, Yoruichi thought. She went over and sat herself beside Soi on the steps. Soi's eyes following her every step gave the stripper a nice feeling, but she was still turmoil inside. They both were.
Yoruichi cleared her throat. "Um… I wanted to talk to you, about us." She nervously looked to the side, her friend's blank gaze unnerving her. She really missed the times when she was all but mischief---looks like her life took a much deeper dive than others. "But my boss… He told me that I have to work soon even though I asked for a few days off… I have to obey since…" She bit her lip, not wanting to talk about what her father would do if her boss reported back to him. "He's actually gonna pick me up right now. Says he wants to…show me something back at his place." Her tone became bitter and silence came between them.
Soi Fong knew what Yoruichi's boss REALLY wanted to do with Yoruichi. And she was leaving soon. Now. Soi shook her head. The two weren't looking at each other but Soi couldn't stand it anymore. She felt it was her fault, but Yoruichi felt it was her fault, too. They both blamed themselves for what happened in the bedroom and they both knew Yoruichi loved Soi with what she said in the bedroom. But does Soi love Yoruichi? The cocoa-skinned woman ponders this and Soi, who didn't care much for feelings, didn't even know herself even though she knows she feels something towards the sexy goddess. She turned her head slightly towards Yoruichi's direction and found the stripper staring downcast at the floor. A dull pain twinged inside her. She reached out and tentatively took Yoruichi's hand into her own, squeezing it slightly to catch her friend's attention.
Yoruichi's eyes widened and she brought her gaze up from the floor. "Soi Fong?" she asked, a bit astonished that Soi would be touching her, even if it wasn't intimately.
"Yoruichi," Soi said, a tone of seriousness in her voice. "I want to tell you that I can't love you. Not because I don't…but because of the idea of feeling this way towards you is just…too extreme for me." She squeezed harder. "I can't imagine myself being with you and…" She dropped her gaze. "It wouldn't work out, anyway."
At this, Yoruichi opened her mouth to speak. "What do you mean?" she asked with an expression of confusion, scooting closer and now holding Soi's hand with both of her own. "Why wouldn't it work? Why can't you---"
"You're a stripper, Yoruichi," Soi stated and leveled her gaze head-on against a pair of shocked golden ones. "Not only that, but you're my friend," she pointed out. "Loving you isn't right at all."
"I…" She wanted to say, 'People fall in love with their friends all the time' or 'Love has its own way of being right' and 'I can fix it all if you just give me a chance to be with you' but none of them would answer the 'stripper' part. Then suddenly, she felt something soft on her lips. Something warm and…
Yoruichi's eyes widened when she focused them right in front of her and saw, to her shock, Soi Fong caressing her lips gently with her own. Her eyes were closed and Yoruichi could feel her tongue coming out to lick her, begging for entrance as they kissed. She couldn't believe Soi was actually doing this, after all she said and did, she was kissing her.
Not wanting to waste this chance, she closed her eyes as well and granted Soi Fong entrance. She wrapped her arms around the woman's small frame, pulling her in closer to feel her body warmth and placed Soi on her lap. Low moans escaped both mouths as they eagerly continued to kiss, dueling one another for dominance with their tongues as they cleverly caressed the other for a chain of hot moans.
Soi Fong was praying this was the right thing to do. If this kiss didn't solve anything, then at least she'll get to feel Yoruichi's lips on hers one last time. This thought convinced her that she wanted Yoruichi. Soi wrapped her arms around the goddess more firmly but still gentle, and breathed in the close scent of the goddess lovingly with every hungry kiss they did.
When the doorbell rang, the two suddenly broke apart with a gasp and they panted for breath. They looked wildly into each other's eyes. Yoruichi's boss was here.
The space around them was filled in silence except for their heavy breathing. They couldn't believe that had shared another unforgettable kiss. Then Soi opened her mouth to speak.
"I---," Soi started.
"It's okay," Yoruichi said, panting, "I understand." The corners of her lips pulled up, just a tiny bit. "You just don't know if it's okay to love me…right?" She looked Soi in the eyes, eager to hear what she had to say.
"I…I do love you, Yoruichi," Soi told her nervously, but still wanting to convince her friend. "I just… I'm sorry for what I've done. You know, what I did to…hurt you."
Yoruichi cocked her head to the side and gazed into the depth of the gray eyes of her friend, searching for something and then, as if nothing upsetting had happened between them, gave Soi her usual smile of a grin. "So, everything is okay between us…right?" she asked.
Soi Fong blinked and it just hit her how silly they had been. No wonder she thought feelings were so useless and disappointing. But Yoruichi…with her silly antics and crazy habits and all, nothing was stupid or pointless. Yoruichi had brought a new light in her way of life. One that was brighter than the playful grin on her face and one that was sweeter than what the color of her eyes reminded her of. Soi nodded in reply and the small tug on her lips felt weird since she hadn't smiled at all for a very longtime. "Yoruichi?" she called when she saw that her friend had stood up to leave.
"Hm?" The stripper stopped, hand almost to the doorknob, and turned slightly to face Soi Fong. She cracked another grin. "What is it, little bee?"
Soi blushed but when she spoke, it was full of sincerity. For a more greater effect, she looked straight into Yoruichi's eyes as she said, "Even though you strip for others and do intimate…activities with others, I want you to know that I… I'll always be here for you. I'll stand by your side no matter what and whatever I say, just keep in mind that I…love you." A feeling washed over her and, out of nowhere, she stood and walked closer to Yoruichi who was still frozen at Soi's words. The petite woman bowed down to her knees. "This I swear and promise with all my heart. Whatever happens, whatever I do, it's never meant to hurt you and if it does…than I hope you'll forgive me like you did today." She felt foolish but she wanted Yoruichi to know how she felt. To know that she wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her on purpose.
Happiness ran through the Shihouin's veins but then a thought broke loose. A bad thought. Hurriedly giving a smile when Soi brought her head up, she kneeled down as well and brought Soi up to her feet. "It's a promise," she said and guilt now filled her when a look of pure happiness just like her own appeared on Soi Fong's face. "I have to go now, but I'll see you again, all right?"
It looked like Soi had forgotten she had to leave but nodded quickly, almost solemnly, as she stepped back to give Yoruichi some room. She didn't say another word, just watched with the intense gaze she was known for.
As Yoruichi opened the door and was greeted by Boss's impatient words, she turned back and gave a smile. The door was closing and as Yoruichi turned back to Boss, her expression of guilt was lost on Soi. I'm sorry, Soi Fong, she thought as she followed her boss to the car, But as a stripper, I can't fall in love, even though I was prepared to tonight… She got in the car and it drove off. She kept her gaze on Soi's house until she couldn't see it anymore. I never should've made a move, she realized. Now that Soi knows how she feels and it seems that Soi feels the same way towards her, it's gonna be harsher than she expected when they're gonna break apart.
I have to talk with father, she thought suddenly and was determined to keep that thought. If I can convince him, then maybe I won't have to break Soi's heart…and mine. Dread filled her as the car brought her closer and closer to their destination. The promise Soi made earlier flashed in her mind. Soi… Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to trust me. You trust me more than I thought anyone ever could.
Because a stripper cannot fall in love… they can only break hearts. And this time, it looks like she's gonna have to kill two birds with one stone.
I'll try not to hurt you, Soi Fong, Yoruichi thought in her head, and she looked up to the sky, little flakes of snow starting to fall from the heavens and onto the ground. It was still winter. That, I can promise.
----------------- BLEACH ------------
Um… I just got this done…and I'm tired from re-reading it…so if u see anything bad--like parts that went too fast or doesn't make sense--please tell me.
Me: I hope you all don't wanna kill me. It's very scary to know that. XD
Soi: …
Me: Huh? R u okay, Soi Fong?
Soi: …Does that mean Yoruichi-sama plans on breaking my heart?? D
Yoruichi: Aw, little bee… You know I would never hurt you.
Soi Fong: …the story gives me the impression that you will.
Yoruichi: …it said I'll try not to.
Soi Fong: …but u will.
Yoruichi: …u never know.
Me: That's right! I could just be, uh…tricking the audience into thinking that! See? Mastermind plan, mwuahahaha! Everything isn't all it seems to be, u know! XD
Yoruichi: Yeah, see Soi Fong? Nothing to worry about!
Soi Fong: Well, if Yoruichi-sama says so…
Yoruichi: Yep! XD (whispers to me) You better be meaning what u said!
Me: (gulp)
By the way, I'm sorry that I just made this chapter just a LITTLE bit longer---i tried to make it more but, i obviously failed. Dx