Words: 4172
See Chapter One for Standard Disclaimers/Warnings
A/N: This is chapter is brought to you by Adlibs! No, really. I had people give me a list of items, and a few actions and just wrote off that for most of it. It proved insanely fun, and because of this its one of the longest chapters. Anyway, more Axel/Roxas interaction next chapter! Also, does anyone else get the vague feeling I was parodying the plot of KH in this one? If only there had been an encounter with Sephiroth, eh?
On the Second Day....
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Thursday, December 26th
...Or, the soldiers that went marching two by two never had to face an enemy like this.
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That morning found Demyx sitting in the living room examining the surfboard their mother had gotten him for Christmas ("A surfboard, really? What's he going to do with it? Snow surf?") while Sora attempted to beat something into submission on some game. He was currently mashing the hell out of the buttons on his controller with a look of intense concentration on his face. Roxas wandered by into the kitchen basking in the wonder of post-Christmas quiet. It was rare that his two more extroverted brothers were so... out of his hair. The sound of clinking could be heard from the kitchen, and he found Cloud rummaging around the refrigerator. Judging by the state of the other cupboards (some half-open, others cracked slightly as though they'd rebounded after being closed sharply) he'd been at it for awhile.
"Cloud?" he asked, staring in bemusement. "We out of stuff?"
"Yeah... There's nothing." Cloud stepped back and closed the refrigerator with a snap. "Unless you want a tub of butter."
"Uh... No thanks, thats okay...." He stood there for several seconds, and came to the only conclusion that could be made. "We're going to have to go shopping... Is there even any stores open today?"
"Sure."
"Did I hear something about shopping?" Demyx warbled as he popped around the corner with Sora at his heels.
"Are we out of food again?" Sora moaned.
Cloud grunted noncommittally while Roxas drawled an answer, "Apparently..." Sighing he turned and began to head off. "All right lets go brave the post-holiday masses. I'll get the pepper spray, Demyx get the cattle prod, Cloud find the bull whip, Sora I think we'll need a shark cage...." His voice trailed off into muffled mumbling as he moved farther away still giving out absurd commands.
The other three split off as well, though Demyx lingered behind for a moment as he pulled out his cellphone, flipped it open, and hit a button to speed dial a certain red head.
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"Axel! Answer your damn phone!" Reno barked.
Axel's arm shot out of the nest of blankets he was cocooned in and began groping around the floor in search of his phone. He was pretty sure he'd dropped it there last night. When he finally found it he flipped it open and placed it on his ear, letting gravity keep it there, "'Lo."
"Hey, Axel. It's Demyx!"
"'Kay."
"... Did I wake you?"
"Nope."
"Okay good, because--"
"M'still sleepin'..."
"--we're getting ready to head out to the store and I was wondering if you had anything planned..."
"Yeah, thanks."
"No problem!"
Demyx was way too chirpy to deal with in the morning. Axel snapped his phone closed and listened for several seconds: He could hear Reno cursing in the bathroom, "Hey, Reno?"
"What?" There followed a series of words that should never be repeated in polite company.
Axel snorted, "Y'know that stuff on the counter?"
"Y'mean your gift to woo fair maiden?" Axel could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.
"I'd like to see you say that to his face." He could just imagine the vicious scowl that would receive. "Anyway, drop it off for me will you?"
"I ain't cupid!" Reno sounded properly aghast at the very idea.
"And you're going out anyway, so stop bitching."
"And you need your beauty sleep, right?"
Normally Reno worked the night shift as a security guard at one of the big companies, but he was picking up a day shift so that a coworker could spend the day with family and as he'd had the day off yesterday he saw no reason to refuse. Axel just grinned as he sunk back down into the comfort of his pillows and blankets. Still, as he heard the door slam a few moments later he knew Reno would do it.
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Roxas knew as soon as those doors swished open in front of him that this had been a Very Bad Idea. Oh, don't get him wrong, he'd known it was a bad idea from the moment he realized they'd have to go shopping; but the full meaning of it didn't hit him until right then. In his mind he could almost envision it as a movie: The camera would do one of those dramatic fast zooms in from the back of the store to him, standing there at the doors looking horrified. Who could blame him, though? It was awful, as far as Roxas was concerned.
The store was one of those big, sprawling super markets with enough food to supply a third world country for several months. To make matters worse it had decorative garlands all over the place with overly chipper Christmas carols being piped through the speakers. Speakers that had enough fake holly taped to them that they'd look out of place anywhere but the wilderness.
Sora's hands descended on his shoulders and pushed him, walking behind him to usher him, forward. He attempted to dig his heels in, "No."
"Sorry, Roxas, but we need food." Sora explained in that slow, overly patient voice people used on toddlers, elderly people, and the insane.
"Can't I just wait in the car?" Roxas asked weakly.
"So you can drive off and leave us here?" Cloud drawled dryly.
Roxas huffed in protest, "I did that once!"
"Once was enough."
Roxas pouted, but allowed Sora to steer him forward while Demyx bounced off to grab a cart from the queue.
So there they stood, like four soldiers about ready to take on an entire army: It didn't matter that, that army consisted of bedraggled Mothers screaming about layaway and their wailing two year olds wanting the latest sticky candy, or overpriced toy. Demyx gripped the handle bar of the cart and gulped, Sora peeped around Roxas shoulder, and Cloud stood like an exasperated General who knew his troops were sub par, but was resigned to dealing with what he had. Roxas, for his part, was feeling a bit exposed and was rather hoping he could crawl into a hole. He stood there stiffly, frozen, rying to remember how one dealt with shoppers: Was it like a T-Rex, or Grizzlies?
There was a long screech that sounded like it would be more at home in the subsonic levels only dogs could hear and then a voice so bored, but harried, it sounded stuck between constipated and death spoke, "Price check on Aisle 6 for KY Jel." There were several seconds where there seemed to be a swell of absolute silence through the entire store, broken only by awkward coughs and the screaming of an unhappy child.
"Right," Cloud coughed. "Let's get this over with." With that the eldest of them strode off with a purposeful gait, while the noise level rose again.
"That was the worst battle cry ever." Roxas complained, trooping after his siblings and wondering if he could get Demyx to let him ride in the cart.
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Axel was drifting in that lovely place in between sleeping and waking. He was warm, he was comfy, and life was wonderful. He could probably stay here forever, just half asleep and content... And there was this loud thumping coming from somewhere nearby. He raised his head staring around groggily. Silence met his ears. It must have just been his imagination... He was nearly asleep again when he thought he heard a creak Axel blinked blearily, nuzzling his pillow, and is bed shook suddenly, like someone had kicked it. The redhead groaned in protest.
That was when it happened, a saccharine voice cooed, "Awww, isn't he cute.. All half asleep, and lost to the world. Like a wittle baby angel!"
Axel pushed himself up like he'd been electrocuted. Whipping around he came face to face with one of his blond haired neighbors. Larxene stood there grinning at him with a look better suited to a shark. Axel promptly scuttled backward as far as he could, until he was stopped by the wall, his blankets gathered around him and up to his chin. It was then that he noticed the video camera she had in her hand.
Larxene lived in a nearby apartment with her little sister, Namine, and her little sisters best friend Kairi. She was dead set on being a director, writer, and actress (not necessarily in that order), and would do just about whatever it took to get what she wanted. Axel personally thought she'd make a better lawyer.
"Hello Axel, love, how are you this morning?" She cooed again, in that overly sweet voice. While Larxene had a fiancé (A botanist named Marluxia who was currently off globe trotting for some reason. Axel could never listen to the explanation that long.) she wasn't beyond flirting with him.
"What the hell, Larxene!?" Axel managed after several moments of his best fish impression.
Larxene pouted, "What kind of greeting is that? You should be pleased to wake up to such a beautiful woman!"
Axel sputtered, "Its more like waking up to the Bride of Chucky!"
"Ooooh, you break my heart."
"What heart? Do you mind?"
Larxene gave him her best leer, which was honestly about the same as her shark like smile, "Awww, what's the matter Ax-babe, don't wanna show off for the camera?"
"I have nothing against the camera. In fact I'm sure it's a very nice camera... The person holding it, however..."
Larxene laughed and pointed to her chest, "Right here, Ax, right here." So, he threw one of his pillows at her, missing by a mile as she quickly flounced out of the room cackling.
Shortly Axel shuffled out of his room to find Larxene leaning against the counter between the kitchen and the living room, having helped herself to a soda, the camera sitting innocuously at her elbow.
"What," he asked, "idiot bought you that?"
"Mar did!" She chirped.
Axel sighed, "It figures..." He was quiet while he rooted around in the refrigerator for a soda, upon stepping back he paused and seemed to realize something. "Why the hell are you in our apartment?"
She grinned beatifically in answer.
Axel scowled, "Didn't your parents ever teach you to knock?"
"I did! No one answered."
"That generally means no ones home, or that company is unwanted."
Larxene snorted in a very unladylike fashion and shrugged, "It was unlocked."
Axel sighed sounding very put upon, and Larxene simply smirked at him.
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They were in the produce department, and Cloud was examining a bunch of strawberries. Roxas sighed, and kept an eye on Sora who was bouncing on the balls of his feet like a puppy with ADD. A giggling gaggle of girls was hovering around an island of zucchini, lettuce, and tomatoes to the left, and Roxas could swear they'd been stalking them since the Frozen Foods section. He eyed them nervously and edged closer to Demyx who was leaning on the cart handle, staring at an entire wall of chip and vegetable dip with a glazed expression.
"Dem." Roxas hissed. "Demyx!"
Demyx jumped, then glanced over at him, "Huh?"
"I think we're being stalked, they seem to want our souls and--"
"Where's Sora?"
"What?" Roxas looked back toward where his twin had been a few seconds ago only to find the brunette had disappeared. "...Shit."
Demyx got a pained look on his face as he whipped his head around, searching the ever shifting crowds for the missing twin. Unable to find him, he looked at Roxas, "We'd best go find him..." He murmured weakly.
"Right. Where should we start?" Just then the loud screech sounded again and a polite cool voice began extolling the virtues of peanut butter, and how they were having an After-Christmas sale on it. "Peanut butter it is... Where the hell do they keep the peanut butter around this place?" With that Roxas marched off into the crowds with Demyx at his heels.
Cloud turned from his meticulous examination of the strawberries at last, "Theses are good. Lets... Guys? ...Goddammit."
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They'd found the peanut butter, but they hadn't found Sora. In fact the aisle was empty of anyone but for a single old woman in carpet slippers who was peering in a near sighted manner at the labels of Jiffy. Roxas scowled thoughtfully at the scuffed tile floor, "He could be anywhere..."
"Or, he could be right there..." Demyx hazarded weakly.
Roxas glanced up in time to see Sora wander by the opposite end of the aisle heading off deeper into the wilds of the store. "Sora!" He was ignored. Of course he was ignored, that would have been easy! The two of them jogged to the end of the aisle, and around a display of marshmallow cream... No Sora. "Wait... Is that him there?"
Demyx craned his neck, trying to get a good look... and then the two were swallowed in a crowd of gibbering people who were apparently very intent on buying this on-sale peanut butter. They were buffeted and tugged as they fought to go forward, or even stay in the same place they had started. By the time the herd had passed Sora was long gone, and they were left standing there: Roxas' hair spikier than usual, and Demyx' loosing its ability to stand.
The bedraggled duo exchanged glances. "He disappeared into the bread aisle," said Demyx. Roxas nodded and jogged down the row to the bread aisle and turned into it.
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Meanwhile Cloud scowled at a wall of meat products: From breakfast ham to bologna. Really, did society need all of this? He was just reaching for a packet of bacon when a giggly voice spoke up from beside him, "Hello."
Cloud jerked away, automatically taking a step back and turning to be faced with a black haired girl, with big brown eyes (and a gaggle of her friends in the background whispering frantically.) "...."
She giggled again, "What's the matter? Don't talk?"
Without a word he grabbed the bacon, tossed it in the cart and dragged the thing forcefully after him as he attempted to ignore the girl. He didn't have time for this, nor was he in the mood for dealing with it.
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The bread aisle was empty but for the intimidating shelves of, well, bread: Wheat, and Rye, and White, and Pumpernickel, and breads with nuts, and breads with fruit, and... well there was a lot of bread. Roxas jogged down it to the other end, and peered around the edge: He caught a glimpse of his brother disappearing into another aisle "He went into the canned foods!"
"Oh man, I'm not meant for this kind of work!" Demyx whined from beside him.
Roxas rolled his eyes, "Shut up, the sooner we find him the sooner we can get out of here."
He wasn't in canned food either.
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The dark haired girl seemed to have given up, though she and her flock of friends appeared to be stalking him. Cloud moved quickly down the aisle moving toward the cartons of eggs in hopes of making a quick escape. As he grabbed a couple cartons someone sidled up next to him. Cloud's shoulders stiffened.
"Hi, my names Trisha, whats yours?" the bubbly blond babbled.
Cloud carefully put the cartons of eggs into the cart and began to walk away, again. He left a pouting blond behind to be consoled by (and sulked with) her black haired buddy.
Roxas wove through a group of people milling around at the end of an aisle, all of them were craning to look at the shelves: They contained jars of pickles, and peppers, and other related goods. In his rush to shove passed the masses neither he, nor Demyx, noticed the 'Caution! Wet Floor.' sign.
They did manage to make it most of the way down the aisle before they hit the wet patch (apparently one of the jars had broken and spewed giant gherkins all over the floor, the pickles and glass had been cleaned up, but the floor was still wet from that) and before Roxas really knew what was happening his feet had gone out from under him. His breath whooshed out as his back hit the floor, and he could hear Demyx yelping in surprise nearby.
"Ow." He coughed
"You okay, Rox?" Demyx had apparently managed to catch himself on the shelf and was slipping, and sliding, his way over to Roxas' side.
"M'fine," mumbled Roxas. "just help me up, will you?"
"Y-yeah, okay." The older blond offered a hand, wobbling slightly on the slick floor. Demyx stuck out his other hand to use the shelf for balance, and it was then that Roxas noticed a precariously placed jar of pickled pigs' feet.
"Demyx watch it!" But it was too late, and as Demyx twitched to keep his balance, his hand hit the jar and knocked it off the shelf. It hit the ground near Roxas' head, shattering, and sent splinters of glass and bits of, well, pickled pigs' feet flying. "Demyx!"
"Sorry, Roxas...."
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He'd lost them eventually, somewhere between the Doritos and noodles. He wasn't really sure where, or when, but he was glad for it. Cloud was just reaching out to grab a tub of cool whip (Sora would commit murder if he didn't have the sugary stuff at least once a week on something) when a tooth-rotting voice piped up from beside him, "Hi there!"
Cloud whipped around, clutching the container to his chest, and stared in surprise at the beatifically smiling brunette standing there. Backed by six of her closest friends, including the two that had approached him earlier. Ambush, Ambush! His mind screeched. Where the hell were his brothers? Hadn't they talked about this? Something about safety in numbers?
He stood there frozen for several seconds, wondering if he could use the food as projectiles for escape, when a voice broke through his daze, "Cloud! There you are!" Several of the surrounding barracudas were shoved aside as a dark haired figure roughly pushed her way through, smiling at him.
"Tifa." He said, and for a moment, he wondered if he'd be safer chancing the school of piranha than the shark.
"Oh, you found him. That's good, I was beginning to worry." A softer, calmer voice said. It sounded vaguely amused as the owner of the voice drifted after Tifa, using the clearing she'd created.
"Well, you know her... If she can't find people then the rest of the world's going to be torn apart until she does!" A third voice chirped, as the final member of the apparent rescue party bounced after the first two.
Cloud stared, "Aerith. Yuffie."
Aerith wandered over and slid an arm around one of Cloud's while taking the clutched tub of cool whip from him and passing it off to Yuffie. Tifa, slid to his other side and took hold of his arm in a reflection of Aerith. As the two of them frog marched the baffled blond off Tifa proclaimed, "We've been waiting for you for a long time, y'know!"
Aerith smiled benevolently at the cluster of confused girls, "Excuse us, ladies."
Yuffie grinned, pushing the cart forward, "Beep beep! Comin' through!"
"Aww, man... I just cleaned this up to!" A voice bemoaned.
Roxas had finally managed to fight his way to his feet, gingerly brushing bits of glass and, urgh, pigs' feet juice off of himself. The blond turned, and came face to face with a rather familiar person, "Hey Hayner, didn't know you were working today."
"Yeah, well... I am." Hayner sighed, staring forlornly at the spattered floor.
Demyx twittered around nervously in the background, and Roxas frowned. "Sorry about that, but... uh... Have you seen Sora?"
Hayner, who had been busy muttering to himself, jerked his head up, "Huh? Oh, right, yeah. He was headed toward the front of the store."
"Thanks. Sorry... really..." Roxas hurried past him, Demyx following, and slid back onto safer ground. They hurried past a stack of pepsi cases.
"I hope Cloud remembered the sardines... No one else likes them." Demyx lamented absently.
Roxas snorted, and remembering the creepy stalker girls he'd noticed earlier, "I just hope we don't have to find him in the alchohol aisle, making friends with old Jack Daniels."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, lets go get Sora." Roxas grouched as they hurried passed the aisles filled to the brim with snack foods.
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They found Sora sitting up front as though he'd been waiting for them the entire time, with a lollipop in his mouth. Standing beside him was none other than his silver haired best friend Riku.
"Sora, where the hell did you go!" Roxas griped as he stalked up to his twin.
Sora shrugged, "I saw Riku so I went to find him, and I did!" He waved at his impassive looking friend.
Roxas just wanted to beat his head against the wall.
"There you are." An exasperated voice snarled. The three brothers whipped around to find an irate looking Cloud stalking toward them, followed by three grinning females. Roxas figured the only reason he didn't attempt to kill them all was because his hands were laden down with bags. Sora bounced up (chirping a 'see you later!' to Riku) and went to help Cloud. The other two followed in his tracks shortly.
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Axel disliked pushy girls. The sad fact of life was that he almost always dealt with said pushy girls. For example, his mother, grandmother, and aunts had always been rather pushy. Larxene, he reasoned, would fit right in with them. Which was why as soon as he'd met her he'd become determined that she never meet any of his female relatives.
Still, none of this changed the fact that he'd been kidnapped from his own home, and was now sitting in an apartment with Larxene, Namine, and Kairi. They'd dragged him in, shoved him down on their couch, and forced him to watch movies with them while Kairi made a brave attempt to braid his flaming red hair into a bazillion tiny braids. Axel really wasn't amused. The fact that Larxene was sadistically video taping the entire thing didn't really help.
"Why me?" He moaned. "What did I ever do that you would subject me to Sweet Sixteen, and The Notebook one right after the other?"
Larxene laughed snidely as she returned with a container of cookie dough ice cream in hand (she'd left the damn camera on a side table, pointed at him), "Well, we have it on good authority that your up to something Axel, dear. And anyway, it could be worse... We could've made you watch Gone with the Wind."
Namine, the quietest and nicest by far (but apparently not nice enough to save him from this hell) giggled (giggled!) at him, "Roxas is my friend, and.. well..."
Axel glared accusingly at Kairi, "Why do I get the feeling that this is your fault?"
She smiled sweetly at him, "Oh, be good and tell us what you're doing. We just want to help! ...Then maybe we'll let you borrow our copy of Brokeback Mountain."
"What makes you think I'd want to borrow that?" he groused.
The three women exchanged glances, then broke into uproarious laughter.
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Roxas tottered onto the porch. He was just glad to be home. He wanted to collapse in a squishy heap on the sofa, or the floor, the floor would do fine! Shopping in holiday crowds was hell. As he reached the door he paused, there was something... Roxas blinked, there was a red felt stocking with fluffy white fur lining the top hanging on the door knob.
"Roxas, open the damned door already." Cloud barked from somewhere behind him.
"Yeah, yeah, hold on. Theres another thing here."
"Another present?" Demyx asked, chortling.
"Shut up, Dem." Roxas juggled the bags he was carrying to grab the stocking, then unlocked and opened the door.
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A short while later after the groceries were put away, and they were all snacking on random junk food Roxas reached into the stocking and pulled out the contents: A card in a vivid red envelope, and a box wrapped in paper decorated in little fat Santas and Christmas trees.
He peeled open the card first to reveal a duplicate of the exact same card that had come with the fruit basket, flipping it open he found another missive scrawled beneath the Christmas greeting:
Against birds I have nothing
But of birds I can't get a thing
Two doves, I attempted to gain
Unfortunately for me all I attained
Was some severely pecked pain
Hope these will do
Two Turtle Doves for you
Your Secret Santa
"This idiot makes no sense." Roxas complained. It was all really contradictory.
"Just open it!" burbled Demyx.
Rolling his eyes Roxas tore off the wrapping paper to reveal a box. It was one of those cardboard affairs with the clear, flimsy plastic on the front to show the candy within: And indeed, inside were two chocolate doves. The writing on the box proclaimed them to be 'Turtle' doves: Chocolate, pecan, and caramel.
Roxas couldn't help but laugh.