Words: 2509
See Chapter One for Standard Disclaimers/Warnings
A/N: For the record, I hate this chapter. I don't shop a lot so this was like a blind person writing about the colors of a sunset, or something. Sad lack of Axel/Roxas interaction again, but this is the last chapter where that happens. After this point it's a whoooole slew of AkuRoku relationship building. As my friend Monica says "Yay, character growth!"
On the Fourth Day....
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Saturday, December 28th
...Or, I have seen the face of evil, and it is blond.
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Roxas was the first one up that morning which was distinctly odd, but he had woken up early this morning and been unable to fall back to sleep. Sora and Demyx were both morning people, and while Cloud might hate the whole waking up process, he was an early riser. He'd spent a while playing with Sora's video games before he'd gotten bored with that, and then curled up with a book someone had gotten him. The loud thump thump thump of someone knocking on the front door startled him out of the fantasy world between the pages, and he cast a glance at the clock. Who in the world would be stopping by at this time?
Using a scrap of paper to mark his place Roxas dumped the novel on the side table, and meandered into the hall. Opening the door with every intention of telling whoever it was to get lost, he found his words stymied when he came face to face with none other than an annoyed looking Seifer. There were quite a few different reactions Roxas wanted to have to this; some of them included braying like a donkey, or just slamming the door and pretending it had never happened. Instead he settled for an impassive stare and a bland, "Seifer."
This seemed to tweak whatever last nerve Seifer had been balancing on, because the taller blond lunged forward. Seifer's palm smacked against the door Roxas was even now gripping, "Listen here, you little snot," Seifer snarled. "The neighbor told me you trashed my yard again. Not that I needed to be told that it was you."
Ah, yes, Seifer lived across the street from the neighborhood loony: Old man Xehanort. Xehanort hated Roxas and his brothers. He often took any chance he could to 'pay them back' for 'years of torment.' Seriously, the guy was a fruit. Roxas wasn't aware that loosing ones baseball, or accidentally skateboarding into one's hedge was considered torment.
"Are you listening to me?" Seifer barked suddenly.
Roxas realized that, no, he really wasn't. He supposed Seifer hadn't liked realizing his monologue threat hadn't been heard in the slightest. "Sure." Roxas agreed blankly. "I'm all ears."
Seifer swore at him, "You're just lucky I have to get to work!" The blond man turned and stomped down the front walk, pausing with perfect dramatic timing to point at Roxas. "Watch yourself, I'm going to get you!"
Roxas mumbled softly, "...and my little dog to?"
"Roxas? Who was that?" Cloud's sleep clogged voice inquired from somewhere behind him.
Roxas turned on his heels, and snapped the door closed, "Village idiot."
Cloud was giving him a blank look as he entered the kitchen, "Come on, you can help me with breakfast."
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Reno arrived at his home that morning to a rather strange sight. Axel was sitting on the living room floor surrounded by four women. The dual blond heads of Namine and Larxene occupied the couch while Kairi sat to his younger brothers left, and a brunette he couldn't recall meeting sat to Axel's right.
Reaching up Reno dug his fingers into his eyes, then dragged his palm over his face, "Do I even wanna know whats going on?"
The brunette started, and glanced at him, smiling sheepishly. Namine smiled her serene smile, and Larxene ruined the pleasant atmosphere with her shark like leer. Kairi gave a devious little giggle, apparently she was the current spokesperson of evil, "We're going to do our hair, paint our nails, find nice outfits and then go get us some hot guys!" She chirped happily.
"All of you?" Reno replied, fighting to hide the amused smirk that was attempting to overtake his expression. Axel, who had been smirking at him was starting to look a little horrified.
Kairi glanced at his sibling slyly, "That's right!"
"Something you want to tell me, Alexa?" Reno drawled.
"Not unless you want to make some confessions to, Rena." Axel shot back without missing a beat.
Reno snorted, and waved as he headed deeper into the apartment, "I'm goin' to bed, so keep it down. Got it?"
"Yeah, yeah." Axel muttered before turning back to the four girls. He tapped the red envelope laying on the coffee table before him, "Here's the card, I trust you won't scar him too badly."
The girls exchanged mischievous grins, "We can't make any promises, but we'll try to make him enjoy it." Olette said with a small laugh.
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The breakfast of bacon and egg sandwiches had been thoroughly defeated, and the brothers had settled into their own little worlds when it happened. 'It' being a rapid succession of knocks on the front door. Demyx jumped up, but before he could take more than a few steps a chorus of vaguely familiar female voices yelled "ROXAS!"
Demyx immediately retreated back across the room, "Well I think its for you, Roxas."
Roxas gave Demyx a wide eyed look, then glanced beseechingly at the other two. Cloud had buried his face back into the newspaper he was reading, and Sora was hunched over his game controller. Roxas huffed, "You traitors."
"ROXAS!" The yell came again.
Roxas sighed and trooped off to answer the door, whereupon he came face to face with a group of four women, "Namine, Kairi, Olette..." he greeted, feeling a bit baffled. "Why are you all here?"
Namine smiled, that small smile of hers even as Olette and Kairi reached in and grabbed his upper arms. It was only then that he noticed Larxene standing a few feet down the walk way with a video camera trained on him, and waving a red envelope. Before Roxas had a chance to react he was being dragged out the door by the two girls.
"Hey!" He yelped, "Where are we going? What about my coat, or.. shoes?!"
"Got them!" Namine chirped from behind him.
Roxas found himself unceremoniously shoved into the big black SUV that Larxene drove, Olette going before him and Kairi after him as if to pin him in between them in the back seat. Namine hopped into the passenger seat, and a moment later Larxene slid into the drivers seat. Her camera promptly sat down, and angled back toward the three passengers. Namine passed back Roxas' jacket and shoes, and after he'd tugged them on with a scowl, the red envelope.
"Well?" Kairi giggled. "Open it! Let's see what it says!"
"You mean you don't know?" Roxas asked. "I'd have figured you'd know why you were kidnapping me!"
"Sure we do, Roxie-babe." Larxene crowed as she pulled out into the road. "That doesn't mean we know what the card says though!"
Rolling his eyes he did as he was bid, opening it and reading the poem aloud:
"When these four birds came calling
I'm sure you'd rather have been
four stories falling
For a day with them you will spend
(Try to enjoy yourself)
Your Secret Satan(This, of course, was crossed out.)Santa"
Roxas, quite frankly, found it funny. It seemed, however, that his kidnappers did not. There were a few murmurs of dissent around him, though Larxene was cackling in appreciation.
"So," Roxas broke in, attempting to divert things before it reached homicidal levels. "My, ah, Secret Santa had you kidnap me?"
"Yeah." Olette said, flashing him a smile. "We get you for the whole day, and we're supposed to make sure you have fun."
"But," Kairi put in. "Not too much, because what kind of girls would we be if we didn't torture you a bit?"
"The wonderful kind?" Roxas tried weakly.
Namine giggled, "Don't worry, it won't be to bad."
"Sad the pack of wolves to the rabbit."
Larxene laughed, and winked at him in the rear view mirror, "And best of all... I'm going to record the whole thing. With blessings from Santa. Apparently Santa wants to make sure we kept up our end of the deal."
The girls descended into a fit of mutual giggles, and Roxas felt like doom was settling around him.
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Roxas shortly found himself standing in the mall, outside the doors into one of this big name clothing stores. The kind that had several floors, and each floor seemed to be entirely devoted to a certain part of the wardrobe; half of which was directed toward women and the other half toward men. Yeah, it was one of those stores.
"...If my 'Secret Santas' idea of having a good time is clothes shopping, I want no part of it," he said firmly.
Kairi laughed beside him, swinging their clasped hands back and forth, "No, silly! We're the ones that chose what we're doing."
Namine smiled at him from his other side, "That's right. We're just supposed to keep you busy all day."
"Exactly." Larxene cooed. She was walking ahead of them, with her camera. Olette was strolling beside her, occasionally telling her to watch out for things.
They were terrifyingly effective. If they ever decided to take over the world he didn't think the entire worlds' military stood a chance. So it was that the poor blond was effectively frog marched through the automated doors, and into the land of clothing.
Roxas was dragged down aisles, and between racks; forced to hover beside stands, and displays. All the while shirts, pants, accessories, vests, shorts; just about anything was being thrown into his waiting grasp, or over the arms of his kidnappers. From time to time the mass of clothing was pulled out of his arms, and much to his horror, things held up against him. Sometimes a slinky looking top was thrust in his face, and one of the girls would demand if he thought they'd look good in it. Needless to say, by the time Roxas was dragged to a halt in front of the changing rooms he was ready to go hunt down 'Santa' and strangle them. Funny how it never occurred to him to ask who it was. Then again, Roxas was never really one to be much bothered with surprises. He knew he'd find out eventually, let the person keep their secret while they could. Sora had always been the one who liked to shake the presents under the tree, so to speak.
Larxene took up a position in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs where she took a moment to check the space, and battery charge on her camera before giving the other three her shark smile, "Go ahead, girls." Roxas would swear up and down later that when he was dragged off into the rows of changing stalls he did not whimper. Unfortunately for him Larxene had proof otherwise.
So it was that the blond man spent a good hour or more being shoved into the changing stall with different combinations of clothing. Alternately he was also being forced into commenting on the outfits the three girls were trying on, it was all very nerve wracking. Not that Roxas was going to admit it. Quite frankly the four of them were all demons in disguise.
After that the next several hours were spent being dragged from store to store: Clothing stores, shoe stores, (horror of horrors) lingerie stores. In the end a mortified Roxas watched what shreds of dignity he had slip through his fingers as he helped carrying the 'haul' out to deposit it into the car. Larxene used to opportunity to drop off her camera for recharging.
Roxas took this as a good sign.
Olette clasped his arm, smiling up at him and tugging him back around, "We're going to the movies now!"
Roxas groaned, "Can't we just take me home? I feel like I'm going to die."
He could hear the sound of Larxene rummaging around in the car somewhere behind them. Kairi sidled up to clasp his unoccupied side, and a moment later Namine jumped up to sling her arms over his shoulders. He automatically adjusted his arms to clasp her thighs so that he was carrying the blond girl piggy back style.
"Oh, don't be such a baby Roxas." Kairi teased. "You're as bad as Sora and Riku! You're all--"
"Lazy bums!" Olette and Namine joined in, chorusing the two words along with Kairi which made them all laugh.
Larxene slammed the car door closed and drifted by them, waving her hand dismissively, "A little shopping never killed anyone!"
"Lies!" Roxas shot back, staggering after her with the other three girl's hanging off him. "Besides, that wasn't anywhere near a 'little.' 'Little' is a small amount."
"You complain too much, Roxas." Namine hummed in his ear.
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When it came to choosing a movie, Roxas didn't get any choice in the matter. He wasn't really surprised by that anymore, though. In the end it was Larxene who chose what they were going to see since she was the one paying for it. In hindsight that was probably a bad idea. At the time though, Roxas wasn't really interested in arguing. He was too busy glaring at the people gawking at him. Hadn't anyone ever seen a guy with a herd of female friends before? Before he really knew what was going on he was being dragged off by Kairi and Olette again, and shortly thereafter had his arms loaded down with a couple buckets of popcorn. Namine was kind enough to direct him into the theater proper, at the very least.
Turned out Larxene picked the goriest, scariest horror film that was showing. Needless to say the experience was spent with Roxas more or less buried under Olette, Kairi, and Namine. It really made things a lot more terrifying, what with not being able to see the screen, and having girls shrieking in his ear at every scary moment. The fact that Larxene was more or less gasping from the effort not to burst into mad cackles (at them or the film, he couldn't tell) really didn't help matters any. Roxas had a feeling he'd be digging popcorn out of his cloths for the rest of the night. He could swear he saw a tiny camera for a moment as well.
When they left the theater the sun was setting in resplendent glory, and the girls were giggling madly over something or other. Roxas, to his mild surprise, found he was laughing as well when Kairi elbowed him in the side and teased him about how he'd jumped when some monster on screen had roared particularly loud.
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Once they were piled back in the car, with Roxas once more sitting between Kairi and Olette while Namine and Larxene filled the passenger and drivers seats respectively he asked, "Let me guess... Theres more?"
Namine leaned to the side and twisted around to look at him as Larxene pulled out of the parking lot, "Nope! We're going to go home, and order pizza."
"And eat ice cream." Larxene added with a sly grin.
"Until we all pass out!" Kairi cheered.
"While watching whatever is on TV." Olette added with a laugh.
Roxas couldn't help but grin crookedly at that, "I think I can handle that."