Runaways:

Youth Gone Wild

Chapter 3

Hey, God!

by Ri-kun

We were all tired, especially me from the weird dreams I kept having all through the night. Morning still came, and it was time to decide what we were going to do with the money we'd stolen, but not stolen. There were several problems I think nobody else had thought of. We needed food, but were low on places to store it. We didn't have a refrigerator or a freezer, so meat and tv dinners were out. Anything that could go bad overnight, or spoil after a couple of days if it didn't stay cool was immediately taken off the list. Nobody was happy with me when I pointed it out, but it was still a fact. I guess I couldn't really blame them, though a secret part of me wanted to.

I think it was just the weight of yesterday bearing down on us. We'd survived several close-calls by the skin of our teeth, but only through a combination of luck and quick thinking. Frankly, I was scared shitless by this point. A very big part of my brain was telling me to go back to sleep, and never set foot out of the Arcade again! Just hide here for the rest of my life, slowly wasting away from starvation and not going to the bathroom regularly.

I was never very good at beating hunger, though. My stomach won out over all these arguments simply by growling loudly. It wasn't the only internal organ making it's presence known in our circle, so finally Nicole stood up and told me to be ready in fifteen minutes. I was actually a little confused, until she explained that not everyone would be going. We were to each write down ten things that we wanted. None of it could be outside the five basic food groups. Once that was done, she and I would take the jeep to a convenience store and stock up. This way, there was no danger of us all being captured in case something went wrong. And, if it did, there was a contengency team to rescue us!

"I'll need to nominate a second-in-command," she said thoughtfully, looking around. "Just in case."

Miguel's hand at once shot up in the air. He was bouncing up and down in his seat like a kindergardener trying to get the teacher's attention. I couldn't help but snicker a little, despite my chest feeling like it was wrapped in iron. Nicole promptly ignored him; instead, her eyes danced between Gabriel and O-Ren. I noticed she stared at Gabriel's face for a lot longer, which served the purpose of destroying my appetite.

"O-Ren," she said finally, looking to her best friend. "If something happens to us, you lead the team. Don't do anything reckless, but we may need you to come and rescue us. If we're not back in three hours time, that means something has gone wrong. And remember, our parents are looking for us so they can erase our memories. When you do locate us, there's a chance, however slim, that we may not recognize you!"

"Way to inspire the troops, general!" she quipped, but nodded in seriousness.

Miguel glared at her with his lower lip stuck out in a pout. No one paid him any attention.

I followed Nicole out the back entrance, and together we snuck along through the shadows to the go-cart shed. The jeep was just sitting there, looking very out of place stashed between a bunch of old maintenance equipment. There were also a lot of bathroom cleaner chemicals sitting on the ground half-empty. I couldn't help but wonder what they were doing there, and asked Nicole about it.

"Drugs, probably," she replied calmly, getting into the driver's seat. "A place like this would be ideal for mixing up crystal meth, since nobody ever comes near it."

That got me to thinking! "We might should put some homemade alarms around the parameter, in case some half-crazed drug pusher shows up. It wouldn't have to be anything real complicated. Some tin cans on a string might make enough noise."

The moment I said it, it sounded stupid. Nicole nodded approvingly, however, without taking her eyes off the road. "Good idea," she mused, turning left. "I'll ask O-Ren about it when we get back. She might have a couple of other ideas, too! She can help you with it, unless you'd rather it be someone else?"

She made it a question, like it was all up to me. "I don't mind," I said, shrugging. "I really don't mind her at all!"

That got her to smile a little bit. "I'm glad. I know she's not the easiest person to get along with, but O-Ren really isn't a bad person. She's just had a really tough life. Her parents were way hard on her even before we found out about..."

"The mad inventor part?" I finished, suggestively.

"Exactly!" Nicole was quiet for a moment, then went on. "I think her parents never gave her enough credit. She never got top grades in any class, or did the sort of stuff that made her stand out. They wanted a trophy child, and instead wound up caring for the poster girl for antisocial behavior! I suppose that's why we get along so well."

"You always seemed to fit in real well," I countered.

"Yeah, well... Live and learn!"

The rest of the trip was very quiet. I really didn't mind just sitting in the jeep with her; it was nice to finally be alone with Nicole for a while, and not have people trying to blow us up! I wanted to say something to her more than once, though. It seemed really important, but I couldn't think of anything. I wanted to tell her how I felt. I also wanted her to know how impressed I was with her for taking care of us the way she had, and how sorry I was for being such a lame dumbass the last few times the shit had hit the fan!

I wanted to say something, but my brain drew a blank. So, to avoid making things worse, I kept my mouth tightly shut. It seemed like I couldn't do any damage that way, at least. But a tiny voice whispered in my ear that this could be the last time I ever would get the chance. What troubled me the most was, given the way things were going, it might not be wrong!

I hoped, but hope was in short supply at the moment.

I hadn't been paying attention to where we were going. Nicole explained she was taking us all the way out to Dekalb, which was about a half hour away. I knew where it was, but had never been there. Dekalb was this microscopic hick town way out in the middle of nowhere. She thought that we'd stand less of a chance being recognized in a place like that. It sounded good to me, so I didn't object. After what I'd seen last night, thought, I wasn't sure I wanted to!

We stopped at this little service station that had a grocery store built into it. Nicole and I both got out, with a hundred dollars each, and loaded up with as much as our arms could carry back to the register. Maybe it was my imagination, but it felt like we were being watched the whole time. More than one person looked up to stare at me strangely. Being in there made me very uncomfortable. Of course, it could've just been that I was still wearing the ninja uniform. That could've done it.

It occured to me then that walking out in public wearing something as conspicious as a red ninja outfit in central Mississippi was just as good as sending up a road flare with a banner attached to it saying, "Hi, mom and dad! I'm over here! Come and kill us!"

Luckily, we got out of there, but I was kicking myself mentally all the way back to the jeep. We threw the stuff into the back, and drove out of there. I think Nicole had been picking up the same vibe as me.

"Nicole," I said quietly. "I... I'm really sorry!"

"About what?" she asked, speeding through a four-way stop.

"I forgot to take off the ninja outfit! It's the only clothes I've got, and I slept in them last night, but there was nothing at the Arcade for me to change in. Although, now that I think about it, Miguel might've let me borrow his clothes until we got back! And..."

I took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry about screwing up at the bank yesterday. I was totally useless back then, and not just there, either. I couldn't do anything to help you when Joshua turned into that creepy bug monster alien! Gabriel was the one who saved you, and..."

"You couldn't have done anything," she interrupted, giving me a hard look. I wanted to ask her to please watch the road, but resisted. Now didn't seem like the right time for that, and the fire in her eyes told me to keep quiet.

"That thing was strong," she went on. "I couldn't break it's grip at all. Miguel set it on fire while it was still in Joshua's body, and it didn't even slow him down! You felt how hot that fire was coming from him. It nearly burned all of us up from a distance! If that couldn't stop him, there wasn't much else that would."

"But Gabriel did," I pointed out. "And it was my fault in the first place. You didn't want him there with us, but I really believed him when he said he was running from the Pride."

Nicole's hands tightened on the wheel. "Gabriel thought quickly," she said slowly. "And I didn't want him there for... a completely different reason."

I almost didn't say what came next. "Why?" I asked her. "What happened between you two?"

Nicole sighed, and at first I thought she wasn't going to tell me. "Joshua Higgins," she began, reluctantly. "Was there during a time when I was doing everything in my power to drive my parents crazy. He had a lot of good ideas for doing that, plus my dad didn't like him one bit! I was embarassed to be seen with him in public, but when we were alone..."

This part I could do without hearing. Thankfully, Nicole spared me! "I'm not really sure if we were even a couple or not. To this day, that part of my life confuses me! I knew he slept around with other girls. A part of me tried to tell myself that it didn't matter, but when he left, I was relieved. Him running away saved me the trouble of throwing him out the door."

"I... think I understand," I told her. "I mean, I never dated anyone just to make my parents mad, but there was this one girl."

Nicole looked at me, interested. "Really? Who?"

"She..." I paused, thinking hard. A lot of this story revolved around Nicole herself, though she probably didn't realize it. I was going to have to pick my words very carefully, something I wasn't always good at!

"I started dating this girl not too long ago. She was really just an excuse to forget about someone else I'd been crushing on for a long time. I thought that, if I tried dating someone else, the crush would go away. It didn't, and..."

This part was really embarassing! "She... left me for another girl."

Nicole's eyes flared open. "What?"

"Please don't laugh," I begged. "It was not a very confidence-building moment in my life!"

"I won't," she assured me, without a trace of laughter in her voice. "Who was the other girl?"

Oh, boy! "What other girl?"

"The one you had a crush on. The one you were trying to forget about! Do I know her?"

It was at that moment that a flock of angry spellcasters chose to swoop down upon us from out of the sky, blasting spells everywhere at the road. Nicole had to fight with everything she had to keep the jeep steady, as they seemed to be aiming for our tires. If we ever lived through this, I would have to thank them all with the biggest fruit basket I could find. That had be way too close!

And when a man is grateful to see a horde of Dark magicians break up an embarassing confession with a girl he likes, he can truly sink no lower.

"They're trying to run us off the road!" she cried out, ducking down a side road.

"I gathered." Thankfully, I remembered to bring my hoverboard with me. Gathering it together, I climbed into the backseat where grocery bags were spilling over into one another. I was so not picking any of this stuff up! Setting the board down, I climbed on just as Nicole swerved to avoid taking another hit, and nearly fell off.

"Keep her steady!" I shouted back. "I'm going to try and draw their fire!"

"Dan, wait!"

But I was already in the air. The jets on this thing packed quite a kick to them, bringing me eye-level with a cultist in seconds. I think he was really surprised to see me up there with him, because his eyebrows quickly disappeared into the hood covering his face. Taking advantage of his distraction, I brought my bo staff out and slammed it down across his head. The sickening thud made him go limp, and fall about thirty feet or so to the ground. That only left about a half-dozen more or so!

...Who were quickly gathering around me! So much for the element of surprise, it seemed.

I was still not used to flying with this thing. Those kids on Back to the Future made it look so easy, but it was really hard! I avoided several mystic blasts from two cult members behind me through sheer good fortune and a complete, utter lack of knowing what I was doing. That didn't hold up for long, though.

Three got in front of me, and let me have it all at once. My chest felt like it was on fire as I plunged down from the sky, landing squarely back in the jeep on top of several bags that made squishy noises when I tried to get up.

"Back news," I mumbled, wondering which way was up. "There are too many of them. Also, I think I might have broken the eggs!"

"O-Ren is going to kill you," she replied, driving wildly back out onto the main road.

"Tell her to get in line!"

It was inevitable, I suppose. There was no way that many people with enhanced magickal abilities and the power to fly over our heads could keep missing all four tires. They finally nailed them, practically all at the same time, and nearly caused us to flip over in the middle of the highway. I didn't pass out this time, but all the fight got knocked out of me. My staff went flying out of my hands, and immediately collapsed back down to it's smallest size. The hoverboard just gave this tired wheeze, and landed not far away from me, shutting itself off in the process.

We were all lifted up out of the jeep, and quickly had some kind of green powder blown in our faces. I was expecting everything to go dark, but all it did was make me sneeze real bad. I raised back up, but we weren't outside anymore. It took a moment to get my bearings, but after being dragged around, I saw that we'd somehow been brought to the church. This hadn't felt anything like when Nicole used that teleportation watch. None of my insides felt like they'd been sucked out and duct taped to my skin, either!

"How long were we out?" I asked her, softly.

Nicole shook her head. "I don't think we were. Looking out the window! It looks about the same time of day as it was a few seconds ago. That must mean we were brought here through some other means than memory erasure."

"Maybe they haven't worked it all out yet!" I said, hopefully. "Remember how they were saying that the process was incomplete, or something?"

"Let's hope so."

The cultists forced us to walk down the aisle together, minus any ceremony music I might add, up to where the pulpit stood. Behind it were twin seats, and a set of armor beside each one. I'd often wondered what those things were supposed to be for, but now wasn't quite so curious! They made us sit there, then stood back and walked away. I was sure this was some kind of trap, but the temptation to check was too great. Sure enough, the moment I moved, the suite of armor nearest me moved and brought a rather large spear down in front of me. It was clear that, for whatever reason they'd brought us here, we weren't supposed to leave just yet.

That made me feel so much better.

"They didn't take my bag of tricks," Nicole said, holding it up. "Let's see if there's something in here that can help!"

"Just how much stuff did you swipe from Jeff's basement, anyway?" I wondered, watching her rummage through it.

"The bag is bigger on the inside than it is on the out," she explained, pulling several things out at random that I didn't recognize. "There was already a lot of different stuff in here before I picked it up. Here we go!"

It was a pen. "We're going to write a message to someone?"

"Thamaturgical Inkpen," she said, excitedly. "It's supposed to write secret messages to anyone you want it to, and only they can read it. If I concentrate, it might be possible for me to send a message to everyone else."

Nicole pressed the pen against the wall, near the baptistry. "Wait!" I shouted. "Wait, you can't write on the wall of a church! It's..."

Then I remembered that this particular church was the home of a cult of evil sorcerers. "Never mind," I ammended. "Go right ahead."

The ink didn't leave a scratch on the paint, but I assumed it was working, because a moment later she raised up with a satisfied look on her face. "There," she said, putting the pen back into her bag. "They should be here soon. Let's just hope it's not too late. What do you suppose they want with us?"

"The Pride?" I wondered. "Well, they want to erase our memories..."

"I meant Gabriel's parents," she cut in. "Neither of our parents are here, as far as I could tell. Why would they want the two of us?!"

"Who knows," I admitted. "How do you think they found us?"

"Easy!" a voice called out. "There's a tracking device in the jeep!"

We both looked around to find Mrs. Merryweather watching the two of us with a shrewd look on her face. As she came up the steps to stand in front of the pulpit, her eyes began to narrow disapprovingly. I could easily understand why Gabriel wouldn't like this woman! I'd been in front of her for less than a minute, and already she struck me as a total bitch!

"Where is my son?" she demanded without preamble. "I know the two of you know where he is, and I would like for one of you to tell me."

Neither of us said a word. "The one who does," Mrs. Merryweather continued, conjouring a ball of fire in her hands. "Will be able to walk away unharmed and go about your business. If you wish to do this the hard way, however, I'm more than happy to comply. Doing this the hard way will just take longer, though, and my time is short!"

"What if Gabriel doesn't want to be found?" I asked, coyly. "And even if we would tell you, what guarantee do either of us have that you won't double-cross us?"

"Gabriel wants to be found," she replied, utterly convinced of herself. "Of course he wants to come home. I know the only reason he left was because the rest of you forced him to. He's waiting for me to rescue him! He would've been back now, I imagine, if it weren't for his stepfather."

"O...okay," I said, suddenly not feeling the least bit comfortable in front of this woman. She was clearly a few hymnals shy of a choir!

"The truth is," she went on. "I really don't care what either of you do. If you want to run away, then that's perfectly alright with me. It isn't any of my business that your parents failed to teach you right from wrong; I simply want my son back!"

"What a hypocrite!" Nicole mumbled.

Mrs. Merryweather raised a finger, and red lightning shot out of it, missing her by a thread. "I'd watch your mouth in this place if I were you, young lady. That isn't the sort of word you should be throwing around lightly. Especially at your age!"

"What will you do, then?" Nicole challenged. "Kill us?"

"No," I countered, feeling rather bold. "She'll make us listen to thirteen verses of 'Just As I Am'! That's what her husband does when people in the congregation pass out from listening to him ramble on!"

Mrs. Merryweather stared at me. "You've got a lot of gumption in you," she noted, almost sounding pleased. "It's a shame Gabriel had to pick it up from you. He was much better off just listening to me."

Yup! Definitely not feeling safe around her! "You are an absolute nutcase, you know that? Gabriel ran away because your sociopath for a husband beat him on a regular basis! That, and the fact that you both were sacrificing innocent souls to a hideous demon devil-god called Durmakuu, or whatever the hell his name is."

"It doesn't surprise me," she replied. I don't think she'd heard half of what I said. "I had a feeling all along that my husband was to blame for this. He never could do anything right without my help! All I want is for Gabriel to come home, and you two will help me. If being courdeous doesn't work, I'll just have to think of something else!"

"Like what?"

Mrs. Merryweather. "The girl might not be as fresh as Lord Dormamu prefers, but I'd wager her soul is still pure, even if her body is not!"

Nicole blushed, and I felt a surge of anger go through me. That was happening a lot recently!

"Don't you lay one finger on her, you dried up old witch!" I shouted. "Get out of here before I toss you into that stupid baptistry and watch you melt like in the movies!"

"Well," Mrs. Merryweather said, looking at us smugly. "That seems to have hit a nerve! Does your little friend over there know how you truly feel about her?"

I felt Nicole's eyes on me, even as I turned away. My face burned underneath the mask I was wearing, but it didn't do me any good. The old bitch could tell what was happening by the look in my eyes. It was written all over her face.

"You really shouldn't wait this long to say things that are important," she coached, leaning forward to stare me in the face. "There's always a chance something will happen, and it'll be too late."

"It already is too late, you ugly old whore!"

I heard O-Ren's voice, but couldn't see her anywhere. It didn't matter, though, because in the next second, Mrs. Merryweather was knocked flying by something big and heavy standing right next to her, invisible. I had a hunch what it was, and wasn't disappointed as Miguel materialized in front of us.

"Hey, guys!" he said, cheekily. "What's up?"

"The sky," I quipped. "Now get us out of here!"

Gabriel was suddenly there, and whipped out his spellbook. The suites of armor immediately moved to attack him, but he raised a hand and blasted one to bits. The other got a little to close, but Scooby was on the case, and jumped feet first into it. There was the sound of metal crashing, like a dozen fry pans falling to the floor, then absolute silence.

"Way to go, team!" Nicole cheered.

"It was mostly Doctor Feelgood's idea," Miguel admitted, giving him a clap on the back. He was apparently still stuck on our codenames. "He came up with the idea of using this spell that lets us travel through shadows! And he told me to turn invisible so we could check the place out first."

"I just did what I thought you'd have done," he replied, not looking at her.

"Let's go, then," Nicole said, giving Gab's shoulder a squeeze. "We're probably going to have company soon."

"Wait! Where's the jeep?" O-Ren asked. "Didn't you guys get the food?"

"It's on the side of the highway," I told her, finally getting up. "About halfway between Dekalb and here, to be exact. We were ambushed on the way home."

"Can't you just teleport us back the same way?" Nicole asked.

"No!"

We all looked around and saw Mrs. Merryweather getting to her feet, looking frantic. "You mustn't read from the book!" she screamed desperately. "Any spell you cast from it is taken directly from your lifeforce! If you read the same spell more than once, it will kill you!'

Gabriel looked at her for a moment, and something crossed over his face. Whatever it was, I felt ice-cold chills roll up and down my back. There was a look in his eyes then that I never, ever wanted to see. It was clear that, of all of us there, Gabriel was the only one who truly hated his mother.

I realized that it scared me more than anything she could've done to us!

O-Ren raised up her gun, and leveled it right at her head. "Make one move," she warned, threateningly. "Utter so much as a sound, and I will blast your fucking head off with this thing!"

"Shooter," Miguel warned.

"No," Gabriel cut in. "There's no need to kill her. We'll wait until we..."

He stopped, and glanced over at Nicole. "Requesting permission to leave, commander," he said with absolute seriousness.

Nicole looked down at Gabriel's mother. "We need a way out of here," she said. "And you're going to tell us how. Your goon squad wrecked our jeep!"

Mrs. Merryweather looked up at her son. "Gabriel," she whispered. "Please, come home!"

Gabriel looked away from her. "I think Scooby smells someone coming," he warned in a neutral voice. "We should probably all hide. It's probably the rest of the Pride on their way here. She'll have told them that we're here."

"I didn't..." Mrs. Merryweather began, but O-Ren cocked her gun once, and that shut her up!

"It doesn't matter," Nicole said. "O-Ren... I mean, Shooter! Keep your gun leveled on her. If she tries anything, you have my permission to shoot to kill, if you deem it necessary. Captain Crash, you will be taking point. Pick her up and carry her with us. We'll need her as a bargaining chip."

Miguel gathered Mrs. Merryweather up in his arms, who kept trying to get her son's attention. O-Ren held the nozzle right under her nose, and said in a very low voice, "Keep talking, and I'll use this thing to make you look like Michael Jackson!"

She was silent as we headed back up through the sanctuary, but I could feel her eyes on all of us. It was a good thing Gabriel's mother didn't have the power to shoot magick death rays out of her eyes, because we'd have all been toast! The moment we got near the door, they were waiting for us. The ninjas appeared first, doing their typical smokescreen effect entrance.

"That reminds me of Darkwing Duck, for some reason!" Miguel whispered near my ear. "I keep expecting for one of them to start monologuing."

"Yeah, me too!"

"Keep quiet!" Nicole ordered. I shut my mouth at once and watched her step forward.

"We've taken one of the Pride as a hostage. Allow us to pass, and she'll come to no harm!"

As if they'd been expecting this, the ninjas parted as one, and allowed another to step forward. Sure enough, it was my older brother, Joseph.

"The Hand does not compromise," he said, at once. "And the Pride can do without one member. The Externals will surely not miss her! You may kill her if you wish to do so, or surrender. It doesn't matter either way to me."

"Wait!" I shouted, stepping forward. "I want..."

My eyes darted over to Nicole. "I wish to make an offer," I added quickly. "Allow me to fight on behalf of my friends. If I can beat you in combat, you allow us this once chance to escape. If you beat me, I'll surrender myself willingly."

Joseph must've thought I was joking, because he began to laugh uncontrollably. Everyone else turned to stare at me like I'd completely lost my mind! I was dead serious, though. The way things were going, I couldn't possibly do any worse, and having my memories erased of Nicole finding out that I liked her in the worst possible situation was beginning to sound pretty good, all things considered.

"Fine," Joseph said, pulling himself together. "Fine, then. I don't know what you think is going to happen, but I'm not about to take it easy on you. We'll fight, and it will be me that wins. As usual!"

"This isn't Street Fighter," I warned him. "I've got some new moves of my own, now."

"Fascinating," he drolled, pulling his staff out. I did the same. "Show me your stuff, little brother!"

Gabriel, or Doctor Feelgood as Miguel was prone to calling him, leaned down and began whispering in Scooby's half-formed ear. It got me thinking that he had some sort of a plan to interfer, so I quickly pulled everybody together.

"Let me handle this," I told them, pleadingly. "Even if I lose, you guys aren't part of the bargain. At the very least, I should be able to tire him out enough for the rest of you to escape."

"If you lose," O-Ren warned. "I'll blow your head off before they get a chance to brainwash you!"

"Hey," Miguel cut it. "You're supposed to be totally anti-gun, remember?"

"I am!" she replied, loftily. "It's just... the principle of the thing, that's all!"

"Don't lose," Nicole ordered me. "There's still some things we have to do together."

A part of me convinced myself that she was referring to Gabriel's mother revealing that I liked her. For a moment, I wondered if she wanted me to win for another reason; a reason that involved us spending a lot more time alone together, and minus most of our clothes. It didn't last for long, though. Sudden and impending doom seemed to be a great tool for ruining your feelings towards someone. If I did die, well...

Joseph had always wanted to be an only child!

Since we were in a church, I decided to pray. I'm not sure what went through my mind as I murmured under my breath, slowly approaching my older brother with great trepidation, but some of it must have been quality stuff. If I could just remember the words I'd used, people would pay a fortune for it, because the fight actually started off in my favor. I was doing a good job of keeping my older brother's big metal stick away from my vital parts. He even backed away a couple of times!

And then he aimed a roundhouse kick at my gut, which connected hard enough to send my flying back into a pew.

I got back up, pain shooting all up and down along my body in ways that totally redefined the word 'ouch'. Joseph was laughing his ass off at me now, along with every other ninja in attendance.

"So much for new moves, little brother!" he cracked. "I was just checking to see how well your skills had improved. Seems like you're still a novice at everything!"

"Not at everything," I warned, reaching around my back. "There's one new skill I'm still working on."

"What's that?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

I grinned, flipped out the jet hoverboard, and jumped on. The engines kicked in at once, and sent me rocketing towards him at break-neck speed. Joseph had about a half-second warning to get out of the way, but it wasn't enough! I caught him on the front of my staff and brought him high up in the air near the rafters of the church, like a jouster going two hundred miles an hour. Joseph's eyes fluttered closed, but then he opened them and kicked away from me. The sudden shift in weight caused the board to spin out of control, and it was all I could do to keep from flying off.

Regaining my balance, I turned myself around and quickly swept the room for any sign of him. He had somehow disappeared, but I wasn't fooled. Joseph would go somewhere that I couldn't reach him, at least in his mind. He'd wait until my back was turned, then close in for the kill. Years of playing tournament-style fighter games against him on Playstation had given me a keen insight into my brother's way of thinking. He liked to humiliate his opponents just a little bit, and that was his weakness. But I was up in the air, which meant the only place left that he could go to get away was...

Pushing all my weight down into my right leg, I grimaced in pain as the board spun around sharply, and brought my staff up just in the nick of time. Joseph fell down from the top rafter with his staff at the ready, but I parried the blow, and came back around with one of my own. He was able to block it, but there was no place left for him to stand. Joseph was now fighting out of his element, and there was no jet hoverboard for him to ride on. At last, I had a toy of my own that he couldn't steal!

Joseph, however, was just as resourceful at fighting in real life as he was when playing video games. Since there was no place left for him to go but down, he allowed gravity to take hold. At first, for the briefest second, I thought he was giving up. He grabbed on to the bottom of my board, however, and used his own weight to try and drag me down with him. I slammed my foot down hard on the accelerator and roared off, twisting and diving through the air, taking every daredevil chance my brain would allow to let it be known in no uncertain terms that I was not allowing hitchikers on my new ride. Joseph couldn't take the hint, though, and leaped off the minute we got close enough to a wall. Running alongside it, he charged me head-on and nearly caught my left temple.

Things were turning very dangerous! The more I tried to hold him off, the more desperate my brother got. I was beginning to think he really did mean to kill me, and started switching tactics. There was no way I could kill him, no matter how many rotten things he'd done over the years, but at least he could be incapacitated. Or so I thought, until a wrong move on both our parts send us crashing into one another far, far above the floor. I was knocked off my board, yet again, and sent spiralling down with him right behind me. Moving purely on instinct, I grabbed Joseph by the shoulders and pulled him into a kind of mid-air rolled that ended with him being beneath me. We landed hard in the center of a pew, which caused it to split clean in half. Fortunately, he took the brunt of it, and I was somehow able to flip off right after he cushioned my fall.

It sounds much more impressive than it really was. Though I'd saved myself from certain doom, and won the battle as a bonus point, I'd also used up my ninja karma points for the day, it seemed. My spectacular flip ended with me on my ass, lying on the carpet in front of a troop of ninja servants who didn't look particularly happy with me at the moment. I scrambled away back towards where my friends were. The ninjas were starting to advance on us, but I finally rememberd the gloves I was wearing.

Taking aim, I squeezed the apparatus on the inside, and grinned as flames burned across the carpet in front of us, forming a line that cut off the other ninja completely! It occured to me then that I could have used those on my brother during the fight. Hopefully, no one else would make the connection anytime soon!

"You stole the Shien Tekkon?!" Joseph howled, climbing up out of the pile of splinters slowly. "Those were meant to be mine!"

"Finders keepers," was all I said, smirking.

"Dan won," Nicole said, loudly. "By your own words, we all have the right to leave."

Joseph wasn't listening to her, though. "You're never going to get away with this," he said, leveling a finger at me, threateningly. "You took from me what was rightfully mine! Those guantlets were made specifically for me, when I complete my training and become a full member of the Hand!"

"Oh, please!" I spat. "Like you never took any of my stuff before. I'd say the tables are still way far from even!"

"This is different!" he screamed. "Besides, you broke my old Nintendo, and I'd just gotten it working again!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "This isn't over," Joseph went on, swearing. "The Hand never forgives traitors, little brother. No matter where you go from this point on, or who you try to hide behind, you're a dead man. And I'm going to be the one to collect the price on your head! You understand me?!"

"God!" I swore. "You sound like Vegeta, making all these lame threats."

"What?!" he said, looking confused.

"'Vegeta,'" I squeaked, doing my best imitation of Bulma. "'Planet Earth is about to explode!' 'Nevermind that! I must go and fight Kakarot!' 'But Baby Trunks needs changing!' 'Nothing gets in the way of my neverending and filler episode-creating battle with Kakarot. Not even stinky diapers!'"

Everyone in the room was looking at me now. "Ahem," I said, trying to look cool. "Anyway, you swore we could go free if I beat you, and I'd say you look pretty whipped. Unless you want me to break out these babies!" I held up the guantlets for show. "I was trying to take it easy on you, but if you really want to get rough, we can go another round or two."

Joseph glared at me, but gestured behind him to the ninjas, who immediately parted to let us pass. I think we must have stood there a full minute, wondering if this was a trick.

"Go!" Joseph screamed, pointing. "Leave now, while you still have the chance. But know this isn't over, not by a long shot!"

"Whatever!" I barked.

Unfortunately, the guantlets didn't give me the power to control fire! Just send it flying out of my hands in jet streams. I came to this understanding when the church started to burn in earnest. Miguel tried to put the flames out with a force field, but his Fantastic Four powers were on the fritz, suddenly. None of the ninjas or my brother seemed terribly worried about it, but with their powers, they were probably safe. Only Mrs. Merryweather looked upset, but that probably had little to do with her being in danger. I was just beginning to wonder if we would suffocate from second-hand smoke, and after my spectacular fight scene no less, when Scooby came running up to us with something in his mouth.

"Everyone jump on!" Gabriel told us, laying a rug out on the part of carpet that hadn't burned yet.

"Is that what I think it is?" O-Ren asked, incredulously.

"I think so," he replied, sitting down. "But, is there any other way out of here?"

That got us all moving. The moment the magic carpet started to rise, Mrs. Merryweather seemed to come out of whatever trance she'd been in for the past several minutes that had rendered her quiet. She tried to hitch a ride with us by snagging the edge of the rug as we soared off, but Gabriel moved over and brought the Word of Mordo down on her fingers. She let out a scream and plunged back down into the flames, which by now were spreading to the rest of the church. His face was totally devoid of emotion as we rode out into the night. Nicole moved closer to him as we headed back towards the Arcade, taking him gently by the hand. After a second or two, he seemed to come back from wherever he'd gone, and gave her a grim smile of thanks.

I tried not to think about what any of that might mean as we got nearer to home. In addition to our other crimes, we had now burned down a Baptist church, which would surely bring the entire town population against us! I wouldn't be surprised if they were hanging pictures of us on burning crosses out in the fields by tomorrow afternoon! Earlier, before my abrupt brush with pyromania, I had asked God for help. I still couldn't remember the words I'd used, but it'd let me walk away alive from my fight with Joseph, a much more skilled and deadly ninja than I. I thought perhaps it was unfair of me to complain now, since the worst of my injuries were lots of bruises that would take about a week to completely heal. Looking over at Nicole, still holding on to Gabriel's hand, I kept thinking that I'd still lost out in the end.

Hey, God! I prayed, as the Arcade came up in sight. Do you ever think about me?