A/N: This is the next chapter! Woohoo! Alright, its named after "Everything Changes," by Staind. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: n.o.

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Chapter 19: Everything Changes

Rukia drove subconsciously. Her mind wasn't on the road, how could it be? It was hard to think of anything else after that. Of course it was dangerous enough without the pouring rain.

She didn't even understand how her arms ended up around his neck; her hands combing through his smooth, rebellious locks. Her body took over as if it had a mind of its own and it scared her. What did that mean? The only thing she could think it meant was something she didn't want to believe.

Before she knew it, she pulled into her long driveway around the quick corner and frowned as she hit the breaks. She pulled out the keys and leaned back in her seat as she stared at the motorcycle in front of her house. She had already acted out this scene before; only back then the vehicle wasn't as shiny. Although, she knew he wasn't inside. This brought back very bad memories that seemed to have chosen their timing very well.

She was coming back from the restaurant late. She had to take the last table and they weren't exactly great tippers. All she wanted to do was drop onto her bed and not get up. Senior year was over in three weeks and she was more than tired of that ritual. Everything was coming to a close and she was ready to start her future, but part of that future disappeared six weeks ago. She didn't know where and she hadn't received any contact. She had been a secret mess for the past six weeks.

Rukia turned the corner and was only a few houses away from hers when her eyes caught the familiar sight of a motorcycle. Her heart jumped and she felt that also very familiar lump in her throat. She pulled in and parked her car, but didn't get out. She took the keys out of the ignition and sat back in her seat. What was she going to do? She had no idea. This was more than a sensitive subject and to confront it head on was going to leave her wide open for the incredible pain that was sure to come. But what other choice did she have?

She opened the driver's side door and began her slow walk to the door. She stepped inside and noted that it seemed like no one was home, but she knew better. This environment suited him perfectly. In her perspective, there wasn't anyone inside the person she used to know so well. She put her bag and keys down on the kitchen table and continued to walk slowly through her house. It wasn't a mystery; she knew he was going to be waiting for her in her room.

There were a few times in her life when she was thankful for her brother's long business trips and this happened to be one of them. Now that she was labeled as an adult, she no longer had Yoruichi come to babysit her. This giant house was all to herself.

She paused before revealing herself in the doorway and took a deep breath. She had to keep it all together. This was a time to be strong.

Rukia closed her eyes tightly and furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to wash away useless feelings. It had only been a few months ago that she began to hate human emotions. They were so ruthless and invading. She liked having control over herself and it seemed that she lost that battle when the one she had total faith in began to fall.

She took one final deep breath and stepped into the doorway. Her violets rested on what she expected. He sat on the edge of her bed, his back hunched over with his forearms resting on his thighs and his fingers interlocked between his knees. His head was bowed down to the floor.

Rukia just stood there with her hand resting against the doorframe. The sad expression on her face was all she was able to allow. She would get rid of it in seconds.

Then, he looked up and his amber eyes shined in the dark room. The stare was silent, but nothing less than intense. He was there for her and nothing else. His wait was over. "Hey," he said softly.

Rukia took a deep breath from hearing the sound of his voice. Why did he have to have such an effect on her? Why couldn't he be just some normal guy that wasn't worth any of this torment? She gripped the doorframe firmly for a moment and then let it go. 'He isn't some guy… I love him,' she admitted to herself and then focused on the present.

"What are you doing here, Ichigo?" she said with a frown.

He stood up from the bed and began to take a step closer to her. "I'm here-"

Rukia held up her hand to stop him. "Don't. Just- just stay there," she said exhaling a great amount and walking into her room so she no longer lingered in the doorway. She kept her distance.

Ichigo frowned sadly. "I'm here to tell you I'm back. I figured you'd be worrying," he finished.

Rukia's mouth fell slightly ajar. She blinked a few times. "That's it? To tell me you're back?" She began to smile bitterly, "That's great," she began nodding. "Well if that's it, you can go now." Her glare became more prominent, "At least you told me you're back."

Ichigo began to take a step towards her with his mouth open about to speak. Her hand stopped him again with her jaw clenched and nostrils slightly flared. He stopped and shook his head. "See, I knew you'd be worried… and pissed," he said more to himself than her

Rukia looked at him incredulously. "What the hell did you expect, Ichigo?! That's great and all that you came to tell me you're back, but why don't you start with telling me that you were leaving! This is the third time now!"

He let his head drop back so he looked up at the ceiling. He didn't want to deal with this. He looked back at her. "What can I do to make you happy because right now I feel like whatever I say I'm going to fail?"

Rukia felt her anger dropping and those terrible emotions that she hated began to take over. She looked away from him to hold onto herself. She bit down hard and then looked back at him with sad violet eyes. "Who are you?" she said weakly. She swallowed to get her voice back. "You would have never said something like that before." She shook her head, "You would never not care about something like this."

"Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Fine! I'm sorry! I have a lot of things going through my mind lately! Don't expect me to think straight!" he yelled back.

"What's 'lately,' Ichigo? How about the past seven months?! You haven't been thinking straight for seven months!" Rukia yelled back, biting back the tears.

"Do you expect me to be happy?! My past was thrown back into my face and you expect me to live like nothing happened?!"

"No, I expect you to live! Look at yourself! You're a mess!" she paused. Her voice became softer. "I'm a mess."

Ichigo's gaze calmed as he watched her. She was falling apart in front of him. He expected her to be angry, but not sad to the point of tears. He didn't understand. He knew she was holding back the urge to cry. He could see that by the way she reached across her waist and grabbed her other wrist.

"What's wrong?" he asked emotionless. Actually, he demanded it.

Rukia let out a laugh as she avoided his gaze. "Nothing. Everything's great."

"Why are you so upset? It can't be totally about me leaving without telling you. There's something else…" he said trying to read into her.

She still refused to look at him. She shook her head with another laugh. "You really have no idea, do you?"

"Rukia," he said trying to get her to look at him. He frowned as she still did not turn to meet his eyes. "Damn it, Rukia! Look at me!" he yelled, but she still refused.

He quickly marched over to her and turned face with his palm on her cheek. Her eyes opened wide from surprise, but once they met his, she frowned deeply. His hand dropped to his side, seeing how it seemed unwelcomed.

"What do you want from me? Can you tell me for once instead of dancing around it and assuming that I already know?! Because let me tell you something, I don't know! I can't figure this kind of shit out, Rukia!" he yelled pulling at his hair.

"What do I want? What do I want?! How do you not know?! Are you really that blind?!" she yelled with tears finally streaming down her face, but she was still yelling strong and staring him dead in the eyes now.

"Damn it, Rukia! Just tell me! Tell me!" he begged with his hands now placed on the sides of her shoulders.

She brought her hands to his chest and gripped his thin black t-shirt into her fists as she bent her head down to the floor. "You can't keep doing this to me. If you're going to keep leaving… stop coming back." She was silent for a moment, "You've changed so much…"

"Rukia…" he said softly, and she knew he still did not understand. "Please tell me."

She looked up into his eyes and saw that they were filled with water that was about to flood. It was an emotion she didn't think she could get out of him. She then spoke softly. "I want you to love me again."

Ichigo frowned with confusion. "I don't love you?"

Rukia tasted her salty tears on her lips. "You can't plan out decisions and not tell that one person you care for what you've decided. You can't lock that one person out of your life and still care that greatly about them." She shook her head as she held back a sob. "It doesn't work that way."

"Rukia, I-" he began to interrupt.

"You might not realize it now, but you will eventually. You've fallen out of love," she said as the pain engulfed her chest. 'And left me still loving you,' she thought with the aching growing stronger.

Rukia closed her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows. 'How am I still able to feel that pain?' she thought. 'It doesn't make any sense.' She opened her eyes and watched the rain slam against the windshield; blocking her clear view of the beautiful vehicle that would sooner of later have to be picked up by the owner. She groaned as she opened the door and ran for her house.

It was stupid really. She ran for the front door and entered even though she was already completely soaked. Her mind flashed to herself kissing him in this state; their clothes sticking to their bodies as they allowed themselves to collide with each other. She shook her head of the image, tossed her keys and the blanket covered notebook on a table next to the door and walked slowly up the stairs to her room.

Shuuhei wasn't going to be home for hours and she knew this was a good time to understand what was going on in that mind of hers.

As soon as she entered her bedroom, she took off her shirt. Her memories took over again.

She shoved him up against a wall and smirked as he groaned in pain. His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak his mind, but she covered his lips with hers. He easily forgot about it.

His hands placed on her back pressed her closer as he smelt her lavender shampoo. Rukia then pushed away from him with her palms against his chest. He opened his eyes with surprise as he felt her lips disappear from his. He looked at her with question as she took a step or two backwards.

She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head and onto the floor in one quick movement. Ichigo's jaw dropped open as she stepped slowly up to him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and let them glide slowly down her arms until he moved his fingers to her bare waist and slid them to her back. His breath hitched. He shook his head, "Wait, wait. We can't," he said with regret as he looked to her closed bedroom door. He couldn't believe he was telling a beautiful girl, who was standing in front of him in her bra, to stop.

Rukia smiled and shook her head. "Byakuya's away. Its only you and me," she said with her eyes staring straight into his as she played with the bottom of his shirt.

Ichigo grimaced. "You mention his name at a time like this?" Rukia rolled her eyes. Ichigo looked back into her eyes with a serious gaze. "Are you sure?"

Rukia smiled sweetly at him and then leaned up to place her lips gently on his. She leaned back down to stare up into his ambers again. Ichigo then reached down and pulled his shirt over his head to the ground. He then smirked as he quickly bent down and picked her up with her knees bent over one arm and her waist supported by the other. She wrapped her arms around his neck instinctively. "Ichigo!"

He began to laugh as he carried her bridal style towards her bed and-

"No!" she yelled in frustration. "No, no, no!" she yelled again as she bent down and picked up the wet shirt from the floor. She threw it in her hamper and let out an exasperated yell. "Ah! Do not think about that! What has gotten into you, Rukia?!" she yelled at herself.

She decided the best course of action was to change quickly. She went to grab some pajamas from a drawer but her house phone rang. She groaned and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Rukia! Why aren't you answering your cell?" Rangiku interrogated.

"I don't know where it is. It must be on silent somewhere," she answered effortlessly.

"Come to the café in an hour. A few of us are getting a cup of coffee together. Well, the few that actually answered their phones. Stupid snowboarders and musicians…" she grumbled. "Momo and Toushirou can't make it because their doing some wedding planning. And Renji's meeting with his manager."

"Uh, yeah. Whatever. I'll be there," she said knowing that Rangiku would drive over to her house and drag her out if she said she wasn't going to go. She could have lied, but she felt like her state of mind would have given it away.

"Good! See you then!"

"Yeah, bye."

Rukia frowned. She closed the drawer that held her comfortable pajamas and walked towards the closet.

As soon as she stood in a pair of dry jeans and a blue tank top, she flopped down on her bed. 'Okay. Let's think this through. He's your best friend. No one understands you like he does. He's… attractive,' she allowed herself to think. 'Now,' she began the flip side. 'We've tried this before. It failed. It left me hurting for way too long and apparently I can still feel the pain,' she reasoned after remembering the ache in her chest as she saw the motorcycle parked in front of her house earlier.

She stared at the ceiling with her limbs sprawled out in all directions. 'How do I know if I feel the same way? I totally blocked that idea from my mind the moment I woke up from that incredible champagne hangover and saw him sitting in my chair. He was reading my book…' She shook her head. 'Stay focused.'

Then, her mind clicked. 'I'm already in a great relationship. He can't just expect me to drop Shuuhei because he has feelings for me. Shuuhei loves me. And I… love Shuuhei.'

She looked at the clock and jumped up. 'Shit. I better get going.'

Rukia didn't even realize how long she had been thinking about it. She made her way downstairs, grabbed her keys on the small side table and exited.

She closed the door behind her and looked straight in front of her down the steps. "Jesus!" she yelled as her eyes locked with the motorcycle. 'That thing is haunting me.'

She jogged over to her car as the rain was still coming down hard. 'How do I even know he's sure about how he feels?' she thought starting the car and turning around down her drive way.

She started to pull out, 'He really thinks he's-' She hit the breaks as a car honked coming around the turn. "Shit!" she yelled as her heart raced. "How did I forget about that damn turn?" She took a deep breath and then began to pull out again. 'Pay attention to the road, Rukia.'

"So you and Renji, huh?" Kaien said with a smirk.

Tatsuki looked down at her cup of coffee and took a sip as her eyes turned to look out the window next to her. Kaien laughed. "I'll take your silence as a 'yes'."

"Are you serious? When did that happen?" Rangiku asked eagerly.

Kaien just smiled as Tatsuki continued to avoid eye contact. "At Ichi's party last night. Saw them as I did my rounds."

Orihime and Uryuu nodded in agreement. "What? How did I miss that?" Rangiku said with disappointment.

"Maybe because you were dancing drunk the whole night?" Uryuu said with a knowing smile.

Rangiku just grinned and shrugged. "Makes sense then."

"Hey, where's Chad?" Tatsuki finally spoke up.

"Oh look who wants to talk now," Kaien said with a glint in his eye.

She rolled her eyes and waited for her answer. Uryuu responded. "He's out of town."

"Training already?" Tatsuki asked curiously.

Orihime giggled. "Nope. He went back to Karakura with Karin."

Everyone looked at her with wide eyes except for one. "Karin?" Uryuu asked. His friend hadn't told him that part.

"Mhm," she said with a big smile.

"When did that happen?" Rangiku repeated her earlier question.

"Ichigo's party," Orihime answered happily.

Kaien noticed one of them staring out the window silently as her fingers traced the rim of the coffee cup. "Rukia?"

Her back straightened as she turned to see everyone now staring at her. "Yeah?"

"You've been awfully quiet. What's up?" Kaien asked with furrowed brows and a concerned face.

She put on her best smile, "Nothing. Just thinking about my book."

"How's that coming along?" Rangiku asked, moving her elbow onto the table so that her palm could prop up her chin.

Rukia took a sip of her coffee. She nodded slowly. "Good. Good. Stressful at times, but good. Good."

Kaien frowned, "Are you sure you're fine? You said the word, 'good,' one too many times in that last sentence."

Rukia looked him in the eyes, "I'm fine, Kaien."

He laughed as he leaned back in his seat. "Damn, I wish Ichigo was here. He'd be able to get it out of ya."

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

She felt a cold shiver run up her spine making her sit straight up. She immediately looked around at everyone and saw two of them had seen this reaction; Uryuu and Kaien. Orihime was putting sugar in her coffee, while Tatsuki texted away on her phone. Rangiku was ordering another drink at the counter.

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

Her eyes were wide as Kaien and Uryuu both raised an eyebrow at her. She opened her mouth to speak and found words come out of her mouth without knowing that's what she intended to say. "I've got to get going. I have a lot of work to do," she lied once again as she stood up out of her chair. "I'll see you guys," she said, receiving waves from everyone except for the two who gave her curious glares.

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Rukia looked over to the counter, "Gotta go, Ran." The blonde waved in return.

She opened the door and after noticing the rain had stopped, she began to walk down the sidewalk to her car; her eyes on her feet. 'They suspect something,' she thought to herself as she felt two hands on the sides of her shoulders. She had almost run into someone. She looked up and felt her voice disappear.

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

"Woa, there," Ichigo said with a hidden smile. He let his hands drop and tilted his head to the side as she seemed to be frozen. His amber eyes were having an effect on her and she realized she didn't quite like it.

She opened her mouth three times and all three times she didn't know what to say. She forced her eyes away from his and began to walk around him, "Excuse me."

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Ichigo's expression grew shocked. He turned around quickly and saw her power walk towards her car. He felt like a weight had been dropped on his shoulders. Or maybe it was an anvil on his head. Either way he felt his feet glued to that spot. 'What have I done?'

He looked down at his feet and felt that same pain from years ago. It was an echo that bounced off the walls of his hollow chest; the place where his heart had been long buried. The sound resonated throughout him and burned every inch of him.

He began to turn and saw the window next him. He saw his friends staring at him. Three completely confused, while Uryuu and Kaien both looked with wide eyes. They jumped up out of their seats at the same time. "Go after her!" they yelled simultaneously.

Ichigo looked at them with questioning eyes for a second and then furrowed his eyebrows. He turned and ran down the sidewalk. He heard the sound of her car start. He watched as she pulled out of her parking spot and then quickly made his move.

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

Rukia hit the breaks hard. Her heart must have stopped because it was beating for the extra few seconds that it missed. She looked incredulously at the man in front of her. He stood in front of the car with his palms on the hood of the car. His eyes stared directly through the windshield at her.

She undid her seatbelt after having a bit of trouble due to her patience and then threw open the door and stepped out. "Ichigo! Do you have a death wish?!"

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could

Learn to forgive me

He leaned off the car and walked towards her. "Maybe I do."

"What!" she demanded. 'What could he possibly want?'

"Well first off you don't have to ignore me! I don't deserve that," he said in return.

"I just- you surprised me!" she stuttered.

"In a bad way apparently…" he said looked away from her at nothing in particular.


Then I could
Learn how to feel
Then we could

Stay here together
And we could

"No!" she yelled without thinking. "I- I just-" she didn't know what to say for the millionth time.

"What do you want from me?" she asked quietly with soft eyes.

He stopped a foot away from her and stared deep into her violet eyes. "I want you to love me again."

Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word

Rukia's mouth dropped. She couldn't believe her ears. Apparently he was sure of how he felt, but that wasn't what took her breath away. It was the fact that this conversation already happened years ago, only it was reversed now.

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
And would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel

He gently reached up and shut her mouth with his hand pushing up under her chin. He left his hand there. "You might not realize it now, but you will eventually," he said with a gentle smile across his face. He removed his hand and began to walk backwards until he completely turned around and walked towards the café with his hands in his pockets.

She was speechless. How did he manage to do it again? She got back in her car, still shocked.

When Rukia stepped into her house all she wanted to do was take a nice hot bath. It was amazing how stressful the day had been. When she thought about it, she couldn't believe that she had made out with her first love in the pouring rain only hours ago. It was mind blowing.

She made her way towards the kitchen for some sort of drink. If there was some champagne, she might just let herself loose for the night. As she walked in that direction she suddenly felt guilty. She realized how Ichigo must have felt to have been totally ignored like that. It wasn't the best way to handle the situation, but she just didn't know how to deal with him at the moment. It was so complicated.

When she entered the room, she saw Shuuhei drinking a beer at the island. "Oh, hey," she said with light surprise. There were too many surprises today.

"Hey," he said taking drink. He watched her carefully as she searched through the fridge. Then, he spoke. "You lied to me."

Rukia's eyes widened. Her heart began to pound. How could she have lied? She hadn't even had enough time to tell him about it yet! So what if she wasn't sure if she was going to tell him yet?

She turned to look at him. She tried to look calm. "What?"

"You told me you were meeting with your editor the other night," he stated. "You lied."

"I-" she cut herself off. She frowned sadly. "How'd you find out?"

"Does it matter?" he asked with a frown.

Rukia decided not to answer that. "It seemed like you were so against me going. I couldn't tell you. But I had to go. He's my best friend."

He shook his head and let out a disgusted chuckle. "It's so ridiculous."

She squinted at him. "Are you… jealous?"

He looked at her incredulously. "How could I not be? You spend so much damn time with him and you used to be in love with him!"

"Keywords: used to! I love you now!" she defended herself.

"Do you?" he asked in a straightforward manner.

"I'm with you, aren't I?" she asked incredulously.

"I don't know. You just spent the evening with him, so I don't know."

"What does that even mean?" she asked getting annoyed.

"You tell me. What'd you do?" he asked curiously.

She glared and then knew it was coming. She had to tell him. "We went to the park."

He nodded. "That's it? Just sat there?"

She shook her head, "This is ridiculous." Her eyes settled on his again, who was still waiting for an answer. She set her jaw and gave him a bitter smile, "He sat with me as I wrote." She thought and then added more, "We talked a bit."

He looked at her for another moment. "Okay," he said with finality.

Rukia looked down at the kitchen island and frowned. "And then we kissed."

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Ouch. Don't throw anything at me. That's definitely a nice cliffy for you. Sometimes you need one though. :) So hope you liked. Tell me about it. Later