A/N: So here is the next chapter. I love angst. Please realize that. Also, I do love romance. So when you feel like the world is going to crumble, remember all it can ever go from there is up. This chapter is named after another Rascal Flatts' song, which is golden. "It's Not Just Me." Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Same as before.

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Chapter 22: It's Not Just Me

"Tell me why you hate me so much," Ichigo groaned as he stared in the mirror at himself and continued to try and tie his black necktie. He stood in his black suit and red dress shirt as he was almost finished getting dressed for Toushirou and Momo's wedding.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Shut up and turn," she said standing up from her seat on a chair in his room.

"I've got it," he said with irritation as he continued to twist the fabric in different directions.

She placed her hand on his shoulder and forced him to turn. He huffed and glared away from her. Rukia just smiled and shook her head at his childish behavior.

She finished in under twenty seconds. He avoided eye contact as he sheepishly said, "Thanks." It felt strange having her do that. He had a fiancé. These things shouldn't matter since he had agreed to spend the rest of his life with Senna. But somehow he was still well aware of the proximity between Rukia and himself at certain points in time.

"Mhm," she said with a smile. "Now let's get out of here or we'll be late," she said with her hands on her hips in her red off the shoulder bride's maid dress. Her hair was up in a bun with some strands of hair pulled loose to hang and frame around her face. As Ichigo looked at her, he couldn't help but think of his favorite picture of her that he had on the dresser next to other photos of his friends. He truly did love that picture.

They had gotten back from Karakura three days ago and the wedding kind of snuck up on them. The day they got back they had to go to a rehearsal for the ceremony considering Ichigo was chosen as an usher and Rukia as a bride's maid.

"Right, I'll get your helmet," he said walking out of the room.

"Woa, woa, woa. Hold it, Strawberry. I'm not riding on that thing in this dress," she said in a tone that said she wasn't going to change her mind.

"Come on," he whined as she passed him out of his room and began going down his stairs. He followed close behind her. "Just have your legs hanging over on one side. It'll be fine!"

Rukia shook her head as she continued to walk ahead of him. "What's up with you and having this weird obsession with that damn bike?" she asked in more of a rhetorical question.

"Come on. It'll be fine," he added as they stood near the front door.

"No thanks. I'm taking my car," she said simply.

He raised an eyebrow. "Wait. We're not going together?" His chest sunk. 'What the hell is wrong with you, Ichigo? You're not disappointed. At least, you shouldn't be…' he berated himself.

"Well you really want to drive that machine out front, so I guess so."

"But you asked me to be your date… We can't show up at different times," he said incredulously.

The night of the rehearsal Ichigo had found out that Senna would be out of town for some two day concert and would be coming back halfway through the celebration, so she wasn't going to even bother coming. Finding this out, Rukia figured since she didn't want to go alone and Ichigo was going alone that they should just go together.

Rukia looked at him incredulously. "I did not ask you to be my date. All I said was maybe we should go together. Don't twist my words," she said with a glare.

"Still. That means we should actually, ya know, go together," he defended.

"Oh shut up, Ichigo. People meet up at things like this all the time. Just try not to take too long in getting there," she said opening the door, grabbing her purse and walking out the door leaving him with a scowl.

She had made her decision four days ago at the Kurosaki dinner table. Nothing was going to change it. She was determined to do what she had to. One simple question was all she was going to ask and then it would be done. There was no turning back.

Although for the past few days since she had decided what she was going to do, she realized she had grown irritated. She was in no mood to deal with Ichigo's usual annoying ticks and childish antics. She couldn't help but resent him for putting all those thoughts in her head and then walking away like it never happened. It left her an internal mess and he had no idea. She could never hate him for it, but she still would like to let out what anger and frustration he had caused her.

The wedding was a typical wedding.

Rukia and Ichigo walked down the aisle together avoiding each other's gaze due to the strange feeling of awkwardness and that was about the only out of the ordinary part of the ceremony. The rest was basically a lullaby. At first it was cute to see the couple standing side by side ready to spend the rest of their lives together, but then it got very dull.

Ichigo's eyes traveled to Rukia, who was at one point playing the game where you close one eye and you can see the left of chair and then you switch eyes and then you see the front of the chair. He smirked at her attempt of finding entertainment. He himself had been singing his recent song in his head for memory's sake.

The after party came after what seemed like forever. Renji was already challenged to a drinking game by none other than his supposedly secret girlfriend, Tatsuki. They were lost in the bar section of the giant hall that was rented out.

Uryuu and Orihime hit the dance floor immediately and had yet to retreat back to their seats. Rangiku drummed her fingers on a table while Gin continued to refuse her continuous begging to go and dance as Kaien sat at a table with four other women who giggled at his every word. He was enjoying himself greatly.

The new husband and wife sat, after greeting many guests and thanking them for coming, at a table where Momo actually got the very proper and reputation oriented, Toushirou Hitsugaya, to eat a piece of watermelon from her fork.

Chad sat at a table with Karin and Rukia and from what the writer could tell, he continued to grow more attached to the younger Kurosaki. She had no idea where Ichigo was, but she was enjoying herself with the new couple. At no point in time did she feel uncomfortable and as she tried to leave the two alone a few times, they told her to stay and struck up another conversation.

Rukia asked about Chad's upcoming snowboarding competition, which he was thrilled to explain. Karin asked Rukia if she had ever read certain authors she had recently stumbled across, in which Rukia had told her that she had in fact met some of them as well.

A slower song took up the hall and Rukia found herself sighing at the soft melody playing around her.

"Care to dance?" a voice said from her side. She jumped slightly and looked up in surprise, only to see her supposed date standing with his hands in his pockets. His stance gave off the impression that he could care less if she said yes, which made it less awkward for her to agree. "Sure," she said with no enthusiasm although she felt herself screaming it inside.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the center of the hall where the majority had gathered to dance. They finally stopped and took the position; Ichigo's hands were placed on her waist while hers rested behind his neck.

They began to sway, "So," he started. "How'd that decision you were upset about go?" he asked with sincere eyes.

Rukia took a deep breath. "I don't know the result yet," she said watching Uryuu and Orihime stare into each other's eyes as they danced close together. She smiled softly at the sight and then turned back to look in front of her.

"How's the writing going?" he asked curiously with his head slightly tilted to the side.

"Good, good," she said not really focusing on him, but on what she was about to do.

"Can't believe those two are finally married. Weird having a married couple in the group," he said with amusement.

"Yeah," was all she responded with as she continued to not stare directly at his face.

He took a deep breath. He wanted to keep a conversation with her. If he didn't, it would have felt too intimate to dance with her like this and he didn't want to shove that in his face. So he desperately tried to distract himself.

"Wonder what kind of cake they're serving," he said immediately as his eye caught the towering dessert. It was the first thing he could think of to fill the silence.

Rukia couldn't help a smirk. "Strawberry short cake."

Ichigo let out a scoff. "Figures."

Another few seconds went by before Rukia decided to finally speak. "I need you to answer a question," Rukia said staring into his chest rather than his eyes.

"Shoot," he said casually as they continued to move to the slow music. He stared down at her, seeing she was avoiding his eyes.

She blinked a few times and then picked up her head to meet his gaze. He felt himself shudder from her piercing violets. It knocked the wind out of his chest and he tried incredibly hard to keep a straight face. 'Why? Why is she still having this effect on me?! I listened to her! I went to Senna! Now I'm engaged and moving on!' he yelled in his head as he fought to keep control of his facial expression. 'Why can't I stop loving you?' he whispered sadly in his head.

"Do you love Senna?" she asked with determination.

He was blown away. He stuttered for words. "I- I, wait, what?"

Rukia huffed loudly, "Just answer the question, Ichigo."

He began to get fidgety. She felt it as his fingers on her waist began to drum in no distinct pattern. He let out an awkward laugh and took his eyes away from her. "That's a pretty random question," he said as he let a hand brush through his hair and then land back on her waist.

"Ichigo," she said with a frown. He had yet to answer her. He looked down at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Why does it matter so much, Rukia?" he asked with sensitive eyes.

"You're engaged to the woman, Ichigo. It should matter," she explained softly.

"Well there ya go. If I'm engaged with her I must love her, huh?" he said trying to end the conversation.

They stopped swaying to the music now and stood there in the same position. Rukia frowned again. "Why can't you tell me straight out? You keep avoiding it."

He rolled his eyes. "What exactly do you want me to say? I don't understand what your goal is here."

"I want you to tell me that you love her," she explained as clearly as she could. She swallowed hard.

"Fine. I do," he said simply.

Rukia shook her head with irritation, "No. Say the words!" she demanded with no patience left.

He squinted at her in confusion. "Tell me why," he asked softly. There was some sort of hidden agenda and he wanted to know what it was before he spoke the words he dreaded.

Rukia huffed and turned to look away from him. Her frown deepened. "Why are you being so damn complicated? All I want to know is that you love her. That's it and then I'll stop talking," she said evenly. 'I'll stop dreaming too.'

Ichigo frowned. "Maybe I don't want you to stop talking," he said in defense.

Rukia rolled her eyes, "Oh shut up, Ichigo." She said beginning to look back up at him, "I just-"

His eyes were burning her and she couldn't find it in her to finish her sentence.

Her eyes softened and her body suddenly didn't feel as strong as she thought. "You'll stop me sooner or later. You're bound to get married eventually."

His eyes were less fierce. He felt the pain in his chest return. The same pain he had purposefully tried to avoid by getting himself into his current situation. 'Why does she care so much?' he begged in his mind.

"I can't stop you, Rukia," he admitted sadly.

Rukia looked at him curiously. "What… do you mean?"

He shook his head. "I can't tell you that I love her," he said with the words piercing his heart. He was leaving himself vulnerable again and he knew the ending was only going to be more painful. There was no turning back now though.

Rukia's eyebrows furrowed due to misunderstanding. "Why not?"

He broke eye contact for a second and looked down in between them at their feet. He then looked back up with sorry eyes. "I'll only ever love one person," he said so softly that Rukia thought she had misheard him.

The hairs on the back of her neck rose as she tried her best to stay calm. "I- I don't understand."

He sighed and shook his head. He let out a chuckle. "Did you honestly believe that I missed Senna? That I was in love with her? I may have been at one point, but not now." He frowned in confusion. "How could you think that I would say that I loved you and it wasn't true?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Why would I say something so damn meaningful to you if I missed my ex?" He looked at her with questioning eyes. "How could you believe that after all that damn effort with Shuuhei that I wasn't sure of how I felt about you?"

It felt good to finally tell her. Knowing how this usual went, he knew that it was only a matter of time before everything was thrown back in his face. Why he spoke up now was a mystery to him as well. Maybe it was because she wanted to hear him say the words that he just couldn't say. It wouldn't be true.

Rukia felt speechless. She asked him to tell her that he loved Senna so she could end her stupid illusions. She never even expected this. It was a confession; one that she knew she shouldn't hear.

What he had said to her weeks ago was something she held against him. She was angry and upset at him for it. He had said he loved her and she held onto that with hope. He said something that wasn't true and gave her these painful dreams, or so she thought. To be completely honest, she was afraid of how this would turn out.

Tell me you've had trouble sleeping
That you toss and turn from side to side
That it's my face you've been seeing
In your dreams at night

She frowned sadly. "How could I not believe it?" she asked with a weak voice. "Why would I think that you would ever love me again?" Tears threatened to form causing her to flare her nostrils at how weak she was letting herself be.

He felt another shot of pain in his chest. He flinched slightly. "God damn it, Rukia!" he said not meaning to yell at her, but instead letting out the frustration of his guilt. He looked at her with apologetic eyes. "I never stopped loving you," he said softly with a pained expression.

Rukia began to slowly shake her head. She pulled away from him slowly as well. "No," she said softly. "No," she said again with more strength as she turned out of his grasp completely.

Tell me that you wake up crying
And you're not sure exactly why
Tell me that something is missing
In your life, in your life baby

He reached for her quickly and grabbed her forearm before she was out of reach. He spun her back against him with a determined look in his eyes. Tears freely fell down her face as her violet pools overflowed.

"I let you go four years ago because you were turning into what I was. I didn't want that to happen to the one pure thing in my life. I didn't want to watch you break anymore," he explained with guilt gracing his words.

Rukia shook her head. "No. No," she repeated. "Stop it," she whispered.

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you've waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it's not just me

He held her tighter. "I can't. I won't obey you this time," he said with water coming to his own eyes.

She let herself fall into a sob. "Why? Why tell me now? I don't understand."

Ichigo let a smile fall on his lips as he stared back into her beautiful violet eyes. "I can't lie to you, Rukia. I can't tell you I'm in love with another woman when I'm still so in love with you that I can hardly breathe when you look me in the eyes." He shook his head. "I can't go on any further without you knowing that you always have my heart in your hands. It can't ever be anywhere else."

She sniffed and broke eye contact with him as she looked towards the wall. "You don't know what you're talking about-"

I could have sworn I saw you smile at me
Standing in the pouring rain (pouring rain)
At a loss for words and running out of time
I said this crazy thing (crazy thing), I said

He quickly brought his hands to her face and turned her to look at him. "I know exactly what I'm talking about," he interrupted her. "I'm in love with you, Rukia Kuchiki," he said confidently with his ambers letting her into his hollow soul to see his heart. "And even though you don't feel the same. I want you to know that," he added sadly.

His body no longer felt capable to stand. He had told her everything only to leave him wounded. He let his thumbs trace the skin of her cheeks as his hands remained on the side of her face.

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you've waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it's not just me

It was Rukia's turn to feel that pain in her chest. What he ended with wasn't true. Her fingers ached by her sides to reach out and touch him. He had opened up completely to her and now he was ready for a rejection. She didn't know what to do. This was unforeseeable and now she had to decide what to do within the next few seconds.

Ichigo stared down into her eyes as he waited for her to speak. It was only a matter of time before she gently took his hands off of her face and into hers as she let him down easy. That was the option he hoped for. Of course she could always take the angrier approach. Quite frankly, he could picture her slapping him across the face once again. He sadly would agree that he deserved that.

Hold me now and tell me that you do believe
In a soul, a soul mate
And tell me, and tell me, tell me

He then realized something. This was his last chance; his one last time to ever be this close to her again. He took in the soft skin of her face as it touched his coarse fingertips.

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you've waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe

And so he leaned down and captured her lips. It wasn't forceful or even passionate. He let his lips move in a gentle rhythm against hers; his eyes closed to take in every last moment of this miracle. He tasted tears as they ran down her cheeks and onto his lips. He pulled away in fear of upsetting her as the longing for her lips another time yanked at his heart.

Her arms still hung at her sides as she sobbed silently. Her head was now bent towards the floor as her shoulders slumped. Ichigo felt his jaw tremble. He was now on the verge of tears from the sight of her. "Rukia," he said weakly. "I'm so sorry," he said softly as he began to walk past her.

Tell me that it's not just me

She caught his wrist as he stepped next to her. He looked to his side at her as her head remained bowed to the ground. He heard her sniff and then raise her head to meet his gaze. He turned his body towards her with sad eyes. "Rukia. Please, I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up," she whimpered. "Just shut up," she repeated before placing her hands on his shoulders and pulling herself to his lips.

He was stunned. He never imagined that she would actually reciprocate his feelings. Now here she was kissing him. His body felt like it was undergoing electric shocks. He wasn't sure if they were dangerous, but he knew that if they were, he would die happy at that very moment.

He brought his hands to the small of her back and pulled her closer as he met her lips with eagerness. They didn't even notice the full hall that was gawking at the scene they had created. They could care less about anything other than each other just then.

He could feel how much she wanted this as well and his body was soaring. How could this have happened? How could she ever love him again after hurting her? He didn't know and he didn't care. She was in his arms and that was all that mattered.

Rukia wanted to slap herself. She couldn't stop crying even though she was enduring the most beautiful thing she had ever witnessed. Why did she have to be so emotional? What was happening right now was a good thing- no, an amazing thing. And then it hit her. As her lips pressed against his she felt a sudden pang in her chest that divided the overwhelming feeling of yearning. She pulled her head back slightly, surprising Ichigo.

Rukia looked up into his questioning ambers as a lone tear strolled down her cheek. "You're with Senna. I can't do this to her," she said sadly as she pulled away from him.

It was funny really. She cared about how the woman she had grown to dislike very much would feel if she found out about this. Rukia wondered if she would have cared as much about it if she hadn't witnessed what this kind of news would do to someone firsthand. Shuuhei's reaction was locked in her thoughts. It killed her to see the pain in his eyes when she told him. She could only imagine the guilt Ichigo would feel when she found out.

She took a few steps backwards as she watched him try to find words to make her stay; any words, but he knew it was too late as she turned and saw everyone staring at them. She ran out of there without looking back and tears rolling down her face once again.

Ichigo stood there silently as his body slumped. He frowned at how close he had been. Then, his surroundings broke through to him. He saw the guests staring and whispering. He saw his friends staring with their mouths open in shock. They hadn't seen that coming and to be honest, neither did the two of them.

He then bowed his head as if he could somehow hide from the many eyes upon him. He made his way towards the exit in a brisk walk.

Ichigo was on his bike, still in his suit only his tie hung loosely around his neck. The wind blew it around his body as it flew around his arm in the air. His helmet shielded his face from the wind and as he stopped at a traffic light, he removed it. He wanted to feel the wind on his skin. It would calm his senses and ease his mind.

The light turned green and he was on the move again. 'She was right,' he thought. 'I can't do that to Senna. It's wrong,' he agreed in his mind. 'Senna loves me. She wants to marry me,' he said with a frown coming to his face. 'Why do I always end up hurting someone? I'm such an asshole,' he scolded himself.

He pulled up to the house and just sat there on his bike. He turned it off and looked up at the night sky. It was clear. He assumed it was a new moon that night due to him only seeing the stars twinkling in the sky.

The clean summer air filled his lungs as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He exhaled and bowed his head, running his hands through his hair. He picked his head back up to look at the house in front of him. Then, he finally swung his leg over his motorcycle and began his walk to the front door.

He stopped with his face within inches of the entrance and swallowed. "Please," he whispered with fear. He clenched a fist and knocked on the door three times.

He waited with his hands resting in his black pants' pockets. Then, the door opened. He looked up with a sincere gaze. "Hey," he said softly.

"Ichigo… what are you doing here?" she asked with wide eyes.

He stood there in front of the door without letting much emotion leak through. "You were right," he began. "I shouldn't kiss you when I'm engaged to someone else," he said in an even tone.

Rukia felt her lungs lose all the air she had sucked in. There were no words for her to say.

He shook his head. "And I realized what I was doing to Senna wasn't right either," he began to explain. "She wants to marry me," he stated. "She loves me," he added before he paused.

"But I can't love her back." He let a sad frown show on his face; the first expression she had seen him show. "So I ended it with Senna," he said evenly.

Rukia could only stare. She was still speechless.

"How can I let her be with someone who can't give her everything she deserves?" He looked at her with fierce eyes. He saw her nose was slightly red. She was still recovering from crying.

Rukia let herself swallow. She had to stay strong now. "What does this mean to me, Ichigo?" she asked with no weakness present in her voice. She was thankful for that.

He took a step closer to her; now inside the house. He stood inches away from her. She could feel his breathing against her skin and tried to stay focused as it caused shivers to shoot up and down her spine. He locked his eyes with hers. "It means that I can finally admit that I love you and have no regrets."

He reached up and brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "And I am completely sure that what I feel is meant for you."

Rukia was taken aback. He was being so bold. He told her everything straight out and he was pleased that he had finally done what he should have done weeks ago when she asked him.

She continued to stare into his ambers and then a smile came to her face. She shook her head as her arms moved to cross over her chest. "Confident as ever."

"Would you rather I wasn't?" he asked with his own smirk coming into play.

She let out a chuckle. "Of course not. I love you and all your dumb characteristics even though most of them piss me off," she said with amusement.

His heart leapt when she said that. His smirk turned into a grin. "Say that again," he said with need.

Rukia raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" she asked in confusion.

"Say what you said again," he demanded again with hopeful eyes.

"You have dumb characteristics that piss me off?" she asked with a laugh.

He glared at her with a smile. "You know what I meant."

Rukia's grin fell into a soft smile as she met his calm eyes with her sincere ones. She was ready to say the words out loud and mean it. Something she thought she'd never experience again was now the future for her. And she would welcome it with open arms. "I love you."

With just those three words, he was set off. He quickly leaned in and caught her lips with his. Her eyebrows rose in response as her arms that were crossed over her chest began to separate as she slowly placed them behind his neck, drawing them closer.

Ichigo felt his blood boil in an amazing way. It was as if her simple declaration flipped a switch inside him and now all he wanted was to express himself to her.

With a quick motion, he picked her up off the ground, causing her to instinctively wrap her legs around his waist as the kissing became more passionate. His tongue played against her bottom lip as he waited for her grant him access. She immediately responded and opened her mouth as his tongue began to massage against hers.

He began to carry her towards the stairs as her hands played with the collar of his open suit jacket. By the time he was on the fourth step, she began to try and yank it off. He almost lost his balance and quickly slammed her up against the wall of the staircase. They mouths still connected and the push up against the wall only made it more thrilling as their bodies with pushed tightly together. Ichigo took it into his own hands and blindly took off his jacket and threw it on the stairs behind him. He then pulled her away from the wall and began the journey to her bedroom once again.

As they reached the top of the stairs he began to lose his balance once again and ended up slamming his back into the wall beside her bedroom door. He moaned as her fingers moved down his chest with tantalizing slowness. He pulled himself away from the wall and swung into the room next to him.

Ichigo let her fall to her feet as they both stood there trying to catch their breath; their eyes staring intensely into each other. Rukia then reached brought her hands to his red dress shirt and began to undo the buttons with no rush as her eyes remained on Ichigo's. He watched the amusement in her eyes and a smirk beginning to form across her delicious lips. He licked his lips at the thought and tried to remain patient at her tormenting movements.

She finally finished the last button and let her palms rest flatly against his abdomen. Her breath hitched as she remembered his perfectly fit body and the way his muscles felt beneath her fingertips. She let her hands slid up to his chest with more teasing slothfulness. His eyes began to roll.

As her hands came close towards his necktie, she left his chiseled chest and pulled him down to her lips with his tie. As soon as he met het, his eagerness grew. His patience was wearing down. He brought his hands to her back and quickly unzipped her red bride's maid dress. His fingers slid up her back to her neck as he continued to kiss her with all his might. He then let his fingers slide from her neck down to her shoulders where he gave her off the shoulder straps a slight push. Gravity took over and allowed it to freely fall into a pile at her feet. She shivered from the sudden exposure, but also from his fingers tracing down her bare spine.

She pulled on his red dress shirt to completely remove it, getting Ichigo's attention to help remove it. He threw it at the wall in two quick movements and brought his hands to her face as their tongues still battled it out.

Rukia's hands quickly undid his belt and yanked it out from around his waist in only a few seconds. She was becoming impatient as well. She unbuttoned his pants and pulled them with enough force so that they fell to the floor.

She pulled on the waistband of his boxers with a light snap as he unclipped her bra in an instant causing her to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist once again. He smoothly carried her to the bed as his lips stayed focused on hers.

They laid on the bed as their perspiration grew and their bodies began to stick to one another. He moved his lips from hers and trailed down her neck, to her firm stomach until he was able to slide her laced underwear down and out of the way. He discarded his own undergarment quickly and met her lips again as he dragged his hands from her thighs to her face in an agonizing motion causing her to shiver underneath him.

He noticed this and felt a flush of satisfaction run through him. He took this moment to position himself as Rukia's fingers combed through his rebellious hair with need.

It was amazing really. Two hours ago, neither of them could have ever guessed they would be where they were now. They never believed they could be so intimate; so in tuned to one another ever again. It was both overwhelming and wonderful at the same time. So for the first time in many years, they allowed themselves to surrender to those feelings, forbidding the future and past to matter as much as present and held on to one simple thing... hope.

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So… that was different, huh? Haha. The amazing part about this is that you have no idea where I'm going from here. The possibilities are amazing. No cliffhanger, so that's good. Tell me how you felt about this chapter. Later