Chapter 18: This Ends Here
Disclaimer: I don't own the songs, but the only characters in this chapter are mine!
Author's Note: So, here's another Killer Chapter. In case you're wondering, yeah, we're getting close to the end.
The killer sat in his truck, he pulled a hand gun out of the dash and ran his hands over it slowly. He placed a finger on the trigger and slid it up and down.
I've got my finger on the trigger
The thought ran through his mind that with one simple twitch, this could all be over.
And tonight faith just ain't enough
He put the gun up to his temple and pressed it there, he shook a little at the touch of the cold metal.
When I look inside my heart
There's just devils and dust
He thought that there was no reason that he should stay here. He had already screwed up his whole life, why not just end it here and now?
No.
He needed another way out.
He jerked the gun down and threw it into the floorboard.
Well, I've got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a dangerous thing
It can turn your heart black, you can trust
He didn't know any way out of this. All he wanted now was to go in peace. He wanted forgiveness from those he had wronged.
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?
He knew that forgiveness couldn't change what he had done, but it would make him feel a little better.
As good as a cold-blooded murderer could possibly feel, anyways.
He wanted his brother's forgiveness.
He wanted Justin's forgiveness.
He wanted Justin's family's forgiveness.
He wanted his classmates' and teachers' and community's forgiveness.
He wanted his own forgiveness.
Most of all, he wanted God's forgiveness.
It felt like he was occupying a pit right now. No light seemed to shine in his dark corner of the world.
Save me from this prison
Lord, help me get away
Cause only you can save me now from this misery
He had created a prison for himself and the only way out was by doing what he needed to have done from the very beginning.
He felt the guilt heavy in his heart.
My mama used to say only Jesus can save us
Well, mama I know I act a fool
But I'll be gone 'til November I got packs to move cuz I hope
(Jesus walks)
God, show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus walks with me)
The only thing I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
He had failed, there was nothing left to do but accept his punishment.
He slammed his head on the steering wheel.
(Jesus walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
There was nothing he could do, he couldn't go back to the police.
All he could do was sit out here until someone found him and then he would just go peacefully.
(Jesus walks with me)
I want to talk to God, but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
He threw his head back and stared at his truck's ceiling, he gave a heavy sigh.
He closed his eyes tight. He hadn't prayed this hard since his parents had been in the car wreck.
He knew that it was too late for him so he said a prayer for his brother, for Justin, for Justin's family, for his schoolmates, for his teachers and for his community.
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows I can't change
Lord help me, I can't change
A.N.: Depressing, isn't it? The next chapter will be the killer again and then I think we'll get to the much anticipated tornado chapter and the face off between Gibbs, McGee and the Killer
The songs in this chapter were:
1, 2, 3,4: Devils & Dust – Bruce Springsteen
5: One – U2
6: Heaven – Los Lonely Boys
7, 8, 9: Jesus Walks – Kanye West
10: Freebird – Lynyrd Skynyrd
...Yeah, I know, Lynyrd Skynyrd...I never thought I'd even listen to that one, much less use it.
Please review this one. I wrote it while I was home sick with the stomach virus, so if you don't review I'll come give you a big stomach-virus-hug!