Thinking time in the shower was a luxury Owen thought he would probably never take for granted again. Too many days with no shower at all, or a 60 second one at best, had developed in him a keen appreciation for one of life's most underrated pleasures. Standing under a steaming hot spray in the men's shower at Seattle Grace, Owen considered Cristina's offer of assistance. The fact that she would want to do this for him touched him deeply. In his military life, there were several people who would go all the way to the mat for him, and he for them. Had been, he reminded himself with a pang of sadness. Past tense. Gone now. If he was honest with himself, he'd never had that kind of "lean on me" bond with a civilian that came so naturally with the intensity of combat training and wartime. It was much easier to not depend on people as a sure-fire way to avoid disappointment. Civilians, as a whole, had not tended to measure up when put to the test - it was one of the tough truths about re-entry. Perhaps it's time I let someone in… No, not just someone… he reminded himself. Cristina.

The truth was that just voicing the logistical difficulty he was having had dissipated much of the energy attached to it. He was pretty sure he could handle the details himself at this point, but there was something about having her be a part of this exercise that appealed to him. Or, to put it another way, there was nothing about doing this alone that was in any way appealing when he had Cristina ready to back him up. On the other hand, what if things got messy? He had no way of knowing what would shake out once he got there. Did he really want her to see him fall apart?

As he toweled himself dry and got dressed for work, he decided to take a risk and err on the side of connection. The homeless guy they had lost, Timothy, had said he'd reached a point where he just couldn't connect. Owen had been replaying that conversation in his mind at least once a day since, and it never failed to resonate. While he was relatively sure he would never end up on the streets like Timothy, he was not so sanguine about his chances of living a healthy emotional life in the aftermath of all he had lost.

Owen Hunt was a man who had taken his life in his hands on more than one occasion, and come out the other side. Risk was something he happened to know a thing or two about. All things considered, this one seemed to be well worth taking.

---------------------------

Though Cristina was on his service, he didn't have a chance to speak to her again until that afternoon, when they happened to meet alone in the ambulance bay with a trauma about 5 minutes out. By that time Owen had already taken the opportunity to ask the Chief for personal time the following afternoon, and to arrange for Cristina to be allowed off as well. Though he had clearly been curious, it was also evident that the Chief was slightly in awe of Owen due to his glowing references and the very fact of his extensive and distinguished service to his country. It probably didn't hurt that he had already developed a reputation for working several days straight without a break, thus creating a relatively large stockpile of professional credit. This was one Attending who could be counted on to put the job first – a refreshing anomaly in the sometimes shockingly unprofessional world of Seattle Grace. In any event, Owen's claim that he had personal business relating to his military service, and that Cristina was providing logistical help, had proven to be enough to forestall any further prying.

As they waited for the sound of the approaching rig, Owen reached in his pocket and handed Cristina a little plastic case. She looked at him questioningly. "Memory card, from my camera. Group shot… humvee… dog… You'll know it when you see it." He had run home during a brief lunch break to retrieve it, not wanting to waste any time now that his mind was made up. She turned it over in her hand with some reverence, realizing the import of him handing this over to her. He's going to let me help, she thought. He's trusting me with this piece of it.

"I got us both a few hours off tomorrow afternoon. I hope you don't mind that I just went ahead and did it without asking you. It was sort of a… a now or never moment and I just went with it," he explained.

"No, no… it's fine. Did the Chief…?"

"The Chief was great. Don't worry."

"But… don't you think it looks a little suspicious for you to ask for time off for me, too?" She was already envisioning all the ways in which this would be another nail in the coffin she seemed to be inadvertently constructing for herself where the Chief was concerned.

"Maybe if it had been someone besides me asking, but I think he trusts me to be one of the few grownups in this frat house."

"Uh, ok… Anything else you want me to do?"

"Yeah. Get me a map to the Tahoma Cemetery, and let me go change at your place after work. I'd rather not have to go home first."

She paused a moment, not wanting to assume anything. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Cristina, I got time off for you, too. I wasn't expecting you to spend it waiting around in your apartment."

She suddenly felt a flood of appreciation over the realization that he was going to actually let her play a substantial part in something that was clearly challenging for him – not as a crutch, but as a valued partner. Once again, the Anti-Burke, she thought.

"Ok, " she said.

"Ok." He looked her in the eye for a moment until the sound of the siren broke the spell, and they both directed their attention to the approaching ambulance.