Chapter 3

Genin Test (Otherwise known as the chapter when Kakashi is hit with a giant encyclopedia)

When she got to the training field specified in the printout, she was the first one to get there. Looking around to make sure that she was the only one there, and seeing that she was, she put her giant bag filled with assorted items, like weapons, plastic ducks, and metal wires.

…Yes, you read that right. Plastic ducks. Hey, do you have any idea how much it hurts getting that thing whipped at you?

Setting her rump onto the cushy, dirty floor she made herself comfortable and read her giant encyclopedia about the human anatomy.

She got to the point with the cranium and the brain when her teammate came. Naruto, she thinks. Putting down her book she waved at him and said, "Hey Naruto-kun!"

"Hey Sakura-chan!"

She looked at his big bag. It was smaller than hers though, but only just.

"So, that's all your stuff huh?"

"Yeah!"

"What's in there?"

"Weapons, what else?"

"No plastic ducks?"

"No plastic - wait, what?"

"Plastic ducks."

"Why plastic ducks?"

"They hurt."

"…?"

He looked at her curiously. Of all the time that he's ever lived, he's never heard anyone say that plastic ducks could hurt.

Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.

She opened her bag, and took out an onigiri and handed it to Naruto. "Here Naruto, I had my mom make this just for you."

He pointed to himself. "For me?"

"Yup yup!" She nodded her head and beamed at him.

"But…you've never given me anything before."

"I am now. Eat up!"

He gave her a tentative smile and reached for the onigiri slowly; somewhat suspicious that she might be tricking him. She still beamed at him and didn't move her hand an inch. He took the onigiri, but stopped just before he bit into it.

"But Kakashi sensei said that we shouldn't have breakfast."

"He didn't say anything about having a snack."

"Oh. Yeah! That's right, he didn't!"

He bit into the onigiri happily. He savored the small onigiri, it being the first thing that his crush ever gifted him with. The silly boy didn't know that she had more for him.

That was how Sasuke found the two of them in the Survival Training Grounds, eating onigiri and chatting up a storm.

"No way Sakura-chan! Kakashi sensei won't suspect a thing!"

"You don't know that Naruto-kun! For all we know he might be a really strong and really famous ninja!"

"Pfft! If he fell for my trap, then he can't be that great."

"You might have just caught him off-guard."

"Ha! You'll see, Sakura-chan! Once I kick his butt in Survival Training, you'll know that he's just another boring sensei!"

"You won't be able to even if you wanted to, dobe." Replied Sasuke as he too put his pack on the ground. Naruto glared at him.

"On the contrary, Uchiha-san," interjected Sakura, "It is probable, if he can catch Kakashi-sensei off-guard again."

She turned and took a yellow object out of her giant bag.

"Which is why I propose we use this," she held out the duck to both of them, "in a trap to kick Kakashi-sensei in his external genitalia."

She could see the question marks on top of Naruto's head (and is very curious to know how he does that). Even though Sasuke had almost no expression on his face, she could just feel his confusion.

"It means...it'll help us kick his ass."

"How will a yellow plastic duck help us?" Sasuke said to Sakura in a dubious voice.

She gave him an evil smirk in return.

"Oh, you'll see….."

(¯•¸•¯)

"YOU'RE LATE!" Two shrill voices screamed.

"Hey guys, good morning!"

(¯•¸•¯)

A gloved hand pressed an alarm clock.

"Okay, it's set for noon."

Sakura blinked. Naruto and Sasuke were both confused.

"Here are two bells. Your task is to take these from me before noon. Those who cannot get a bell by noon get no lunch. I'll not only tie you to one of those stumps but I'll eat right in front of you."

Sakura giggled. The boys smirked. Kakashi raised an eyebrow in response.

"You only need to get one bell. There are only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to a stump. And…the person who doesn't take a bell fails. So, at least one of you will be sent back to the Academy."

Sakura looked at her teammates. Naruto looked nervous but determined; Sasuke just narrowed his eyes at their sensei. She smiled, and put her hands behind her head. Silly children. You don't really believe this bull, do you? She could always tell when someone was lying, and Kakashi sensei was just physically screaming with his posture 'I'm lying! Don't listen to me!'…And she thought ninja were more skilled than that.

She caught her sensei eye, and she smiled all the wider and mouthed 'You are a bad liar, you know?' He raised his eyebrow at her, but said nothing in return. She doesn't know what she's implying.

"You can even use your shuriken. You won't succeed unless you come at me intending to kill me."

She frowned.

"Please don't say that, sensei. You should always be careful what you wish for."

"Yeah, you're so slow you can't even dodge a blackboard eraser! We'll kill you!"

"In the real world those with no talent often bark the loudest. Well, ignore Mr. Dead Last and start when I say…"

'Oh dear….' Sakura saw the look on his face, and it certainly was far from pretty.

'Dead Last…Dead Last…Dead Last…Dead Last'

Spinning kunai and an angry boy do not make a good combination, when Naruto was about to throw it, a gloved hand held on his and their sensei said, "Slow down. I haven't said start yet."

"This guy's fast." Sakura remarked.

'So this is a Jounin.' Sasuke thought to himself.

"Well, it seems like you're prepared to come at me with intent to kill. So you've finally acknowledged me?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. 'Well if you goad a person like that, of course they'd want to kill you. I know I would have.' She thought to herself. Kakashi noted her exasperation but said nothing about it.

"He he he, seems like I'm beginning to like you guys. Ok, let's get going. Ready…Start!"

Four blurs were the only things seen before our protagonists temporarily leave our sight.

(¯•¸•¯)

"The basics of a ninja are to hide yourself well."

Acting as though he didn't know where his students were, he scratched his head and waited. Not for long, apparently.

"Hey! Sensei! I bet you can't find me!"

Naruto's voice echoed in the Survival Exercise Grounds, sounding like there was much more than one. Sakura inwardly laughed at his audacity. When she said lure him in any way possible, she certainly didn't think he would do something like this.

Kakashi narrowed his visible eye. Iruka had said that Naruto had learned a Jonin level technique, but he never would have thought that he knew that technique.

Deciding that going to look for him would be too risky; he did nothing and just stood there.

"Aw! You're not coming? Fine, then I'll go to you!"

Naruto jumped down from the branch of a tree just in front of Kakashi. Pointing his index finger at him, he said, "Nah! Nah! You can't catch me!"

Sakura could have sworn she blinked, because the next thing she knew their sensei was behind Naruto, admonishing him. "You should never underestimate your opponent. That could lead to your death."

"Who says I underestimated you?" He sassed back.

A very loud war cry could be heard in the bush, and more Naruto suddenly dog-piled Kakashi. Various sounds of childish triumph and indignant squawks came from the pile, all in Naruto's voice. Sakura didn't hear anything from her teacher, and was somewhat confused. When she saw silver in the trees, she smiled and shook her head.

A little while later, when Naruto was hanging upside down with his ankle tied to a tree branch and Sasuke's head was sticking out of the ground Sakura came out of the shrubbery. All three of the boys looked to her.

"Ma…Is it your turn already Sakura?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh please. I know I'm not strong enough to take you on. I just came to get my boys. Come along you two." She motioned at Sasuke and Naruto, waving her hand in a beckoning gesture.

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably in the trap and Sasuke glared at her.

She gave a long suffering sigh. "Honestly, do I have to do everything around here?" She sighed again. Then she went to cut Naruto down from trap and stood in front of Sasuke's head contemplating how to get him out of the ground.

Sasuke gave her a heated glare while Kakashi chuckled and Naruto cackled at Sasuke's predicament.

Then Sakura just shrugged. "I'm sorry Sasuke but I honestly don't know how to get you out of there."

"How about I help you with that?"

Sakura turned to her teacher. "But sensei, real enemies wouldn't be as nice as to do that."

"This isn't a real fight is it? It's just a survival exercise. I'll let you have Sasuke for a bit and you can dazzle me with whatever brilliant scheme you're thinking of."

"Are you being satirical on me sensei?"

"No."

"Well then, I would really appreciate it if I could have a bit of help."

"Since you asked so nicely…"

(¯•¸•¯)

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were sitting in a triangle deep in the training grounds farther away from Kakashi, even though a shadow clone was watching from not so afar. Of course, they don't know that, but still.

"So, do you guys wonder why sensei only has two bells when there are three of us? If he fails one of us, then we wouldn't be a proper team."

"Oh yeah! I didn't think of that!"

"Humph. Idiot."

"Shut up teme!"

"I think sensei is tricking us. But what I'm confused about is why? Why is he making us fight each other for something as stupid as bells? He must have some sort of hidden agenda or something."

"What kind of hidden agenda?"

"Well, we're supposed to be a team right? Maybe that has something to do with it."

"I get it! He's testing whether we'd work as a team or not!"

Sasuke looked surprised at Naruto's epiphany while Sakura just smiled. "You're so smart Naruto! Sensei must be testing whether or not we have teamwork."

Naruto was beaming; no one had ever called him smart before. Of course, Sasuke just had to get a word in.

"I'm surprised you can actually think moron."

"Oh yeah?! Well -"

"That's enough from both of you." Sakura put up a hand to gain both their attentions. "Now is not the time to have a row. We need to find a way to work together to get at least one of the bells. Naruto? Sasuke? Any ideas?"

"Oh! Oh! I know! I can set up some traps and try to get Kakashi sensei backed against Sasuke and he can get the bells!"

"Good idea Naruto! But what will I do?"

"….Eh?" Naruto stared blankly at Sakura.

"You idiot." Sasuke smirked at Naruto, while Naruto glared at him.

"Sasuke, be quiet. Or at least get a better vocabulary. Your calling Naruto stupid is getting redundant and repetitive." Sakura interjects before Naruto could explode.

"Yeah! What she said!"

Sasuke glared at Sakura again while Naruto blew a raspberry at him.

Sakura snapped her fingers. "I know what I can do! I can lead sensei to your traps Naruto and I'll be back up for Sasuke in case he can't get the bells."

"I don't need your help."

"Well you're going to get it anyway so deal."

"Humph."

"Naruto, where will you put the traps? And what kind of traps are you going to set up?"

"I'm going to put…."

"Wait! Wait! You have to put this duck in your traps somewhere!"

Sakura waved around a yellow plastic duck she got from her pack. Naruto and Sasuke gave her odd looks.

She huffed and crossed her arms. "What? It'll be the last thing he'd expect and we'll have the added bonus of having surprise as an arsenal. I say we should use it."

Naruto just nodded, having already talked with her about this earlier and he wondered how he would add this to his traps. Sasuke just figured they were both idiots.

The Kakashi shadow clone smirked and listened to them talk. It seems that these groups of genin were smarter than he gave them credit for. And the girl manipulating the others into figuring out the point of the exercise was very well done. He had a feeling he was going to like teaching them.

Kakashi liked a few surprises in his life every now and then, but not when it could be potentially dangerous, like Naruto's traps for instance. Even he's heard of the various pranks that Naruto had set up when he was younger, but while most of the past ones were relatively harmless, he had told them to go after him with the intent to kill, so he was pretty sure its wise to be cautious.

……Unfortunately he found out (much to his dismay) that his team could be very good in improvisation.

(¯•¸•¯)

Kakashi refuses to let me write what happened in the survival exercise afterward. He tells me that if I even think about it he will make sure that I was never born.

So that means that all that I can tell you that happened afterward to Kakashi in the survival exercise is that Naruto got really creative with his traps which included various items like a rubber duck and the occasional toilet seat that was provided by Sakura.

Naruto and Sasuke wondered what she was doing with those items too. Don't ask me how she manages to put that in there, I'm still trying to puzzle it out myself.

Of course, Kakashi just had to make a crack about how someone needed to go to the washroom so Sakura, in her irritation, bashed his head with the giant encyclopedia, and had Kakashi been less of a ninja that would have knocked him out. As it is, he got a mild concussion.

And yes, they did show teamwork.

(¯•¸•¯)

"I wonder what happened to Kakashi's team?" Asked Asuma. The jounin next to him shrugged her shoulders and said nothing.

A poof and a very messy Kakashi came into the Hokage's office. Various unknown items (is that a rubber duck stuck on his butt and a toilet seat hanging on his neck?) with mud, water, leaves, tree branches and a very disgusting smell permeated from him. The Hokage coughed to hide his chuckle but his son had no such compunctions about showing his amusement. Kurenai, who was next to Asuma, giggled when Kakashi gave them a bland look.

When the Hokage cleared his throat of laughter and spoke, "So Kakashi, how was this new batch of genin?"

"Team 7…passed."

With that announcement Kakashi poofed out of the Hokage's office and to somewhere that he can clean himself off and get these ridiculous toiletries off his neck. Asuma's laughter became raucous while the Hokage and Kurenai chuckled at Kakashi's state.

(¯•¸•¯)

(A.N: Whelp, I seem to be off to a good start. Except for the fact that Kakashi is an annoying son of a dog. But I'll be dealing with that later. And the real reason for me not writing the prank part was because...well...I've never pranked anyone before and I've never been in a fight before. I was racking my brain for any ideas when this suddenly came out of nowhere so I ran with it.

If anyone wants to try to write the scene themselves feel free, as long as I get to read it when you finish writing and I'm given some credit.

Did anyone else notice the little joke I made about the cranium and Kakashi's head? It seemed pretty funny to me.

Constructive criticism will be much appreciated and flames will be used to cook s'mores.)