Alright...well I'm sitting here and its 11:09 and I have insomnia. I am feeling blah and I'm very irritated with my stupid biology teacher who doesn't want to teach ANYTHING. Anyways...this might end up as another song fic...untitled by simple plan is what I'm currently listening to at the moment and I have decided to do this chapter from Edward's point of view just to try things out. You people that keep reading thank you so much I feel lucky because this is most likely the only type of thing I will write fanfics about. I've attempted other fanfics but this is the only one that seems to stick with me. I think this one will be much better let's hope so...ANYWAYS yeah I kinda have a feeling this chapter is gonna be sad...
Chapter Eleven: Untitled
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
I sighed and closed my window lying on my couch looking at the ceiling. I inhaled and gently felt of my chest. What was this pain? It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. I'm...I'm sad...but why? Can the thought of not being able to talk to Mira honestly hurt that much? I sat up and looked at my pale hands. I just had to talk to her...but...she seemed so upset with me...I stood up and opened my window jumping outside. I headed over towards Mira's backyard and hoped that Carlisle wasn't watching. He wanted to be a good father to Mira, I could tell...but the thing was he didn't know how. He just didn't understand what she needed. I paused in her backyard with a soft smile as I watched her. It hurt a little, seeing her so upset like that.
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
I approached her quietly yet she still seemed to sense that I was coming as she threw a punch at me. I caught her hand softly still smiling. "Sorry to startle you."
Mira went to pull her hand back but I wasn't quite ready to let her go just yet. "May I have my hand back please?"
I smiled and let go. "May I talk to you?"
She had an expression on her face that I couldn't make out. Perhaps there wasn't an expression there..."Talking hasn't seemed to be getting us anywhere..."
The smile on my face was gone as if she had just slapped me. "I would still like to talk to you."
"I don't know if I want to talk but I'll listen..." she went back to her punching bag and I silently wondered if she was imagining that the punching bag was someone.
"Are you upset with me?" I asked her softly in an encouraging and sympathetic voice.
"Yes..." she said apparently giving up on the punching bag.
My heart sank. If I had felt bad before...I felt even worse now. What had I done to make her so upset? "Why?"
Her voice cracked as if she were holding something back. "Look Edward I just can't talk to you right now...I'm sorry..." she walked off towards her house and I didn't follow. I stood there feeling alone and hurt. Honestly, what had I done to deserve this sort of treatment?
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
This feeling was unbearable...I didn't know what to do...so I went back home to my room. I landed on my couch softly after climbing through my window and covered my face with a pillow. Downstairs I could hear Jasper, Alice and Shay and their mechanical baby. Emmet and Rosalie were arguing about something in their room and I plugged my ears. I heard a soft knock on my door and pulled the pillow up gently. "Come in..." I said quietly putting the pillow back over my face. I heard someone come in and the voice I heard was the last thing in the world I wanted to hear at the moment.
"Edward I'm so sorry about all of this..." he sounded upset himself but not as upset as he should be. So I said nothing. Carlisle continued to go on about how this was the only way. After a few minutes I tuned him out. Did no one care about feelings anymore instead of what was right or wrong? Sure Mira isn't supposed to belong anywhere...but that doesn't mean that she can't be a part of our family. Technically she IS part of our family...
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
"What is so bad...about us...about our family...that you won't let your daughter around us. Is it because of what we are? Because of what I am? Because of what I've done? Is that why you won't let me talk to her?" I asked sitting up and setting the pillow in my lap.
"Over time...we...we create bonds. And when those bonds happen, it makes life a lot harder...things...are much easier when we don't have to think about bonds. This way...I'm not only protecting Mira...Edward I'm protecting you..." his words stung almost as much as her's.
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
"I just don't understand...Why me?...Why...why her?" I looked at my shaky hands. "I know I shouldn't care...but I do..."
"Please just give this time Edward..." he stood up and left. Once again I was alone...
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I looked out my window and by chance...out of all the things in the world...Mira's bedroom...was exactly across from my own. Words could not describe how much pain I was in at that moment. Out of everything that happened, Mira and I continued to be pulled closer together, yet farther apart. I couldn't stand that kind of pain...and for the first time in a long time...if I could have cried...I think I would have.
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Well...I thought it was a sad chapter but it's important that you guys know exactly how Edward feels...yes its a very short chapter but I have something special planned for the next one and it's highly possible that that will be another song fic on a third person view towards Mira with the song numb by linkin park...I haven't decided yet though...R&R