Ok! Thankyou to my three… maybe it's three, I'm not sure. Anyway! Thankyou so very much for reviewing and alerting and favouriting me, makes me feel so loved. Even if you don't love me, at least you're giving me the time of day so I thank you for that as well. For all of those who didn't review, SHAME ON YOU! Lazy buggers. Or is it that I don't accept anonymous reviews and it's all my fault, must check that…

Anyway, Rai is not said as in Gai/guy or Sai/sigh or Wai/why, even if that was the original intention of the word. I say it Rai/ray as in suns rays and all that because it just sounds better don't ya think?

"Get up." Rai was harshly pulled out of her fantasy dreamland by the pierced wonder.

Feeling tired and not-so-clever because of that fact, she did something really stupid.

"Go away mum… I'll throw my teddy on you… It's Sunday…" She said lazily and waved him away whilst not moving from her current position on the floor.

She heard a growl and was scooped up in a very unflattering manner by someone she couldn't see the face of, as she was scooped up in the manner of someone scooping up a bag of flour and throwing it over their shoulder. I'm sure that if flour bags had heads, all they would ever see would be backs, and they would get very good at distinguishing one back from another. Just like a human would a face. But Rai was not a flour sack, she was a Kunoichi.

A very tired and ticked off Kunoichi that wanted to see her brother.

Which made it difficult for her to distinguish what her captor looked like, let alone who the fuck they were.

"Who, the fuck do you think you are?!" She screamed in the direction of her captor's ear.

"I fucking think that I am not going to tell you who I am, because you're being a bloody PMSing bitch." The man stated.

She slumped and just got carried along for a moment before shouting (quite explicitly).

"I ****** WANT TO ********* SEE MY ****** BROTHER RIGHT THIS ********** INSTANT! WHERE THE **** IS HE?!"

That was, unfortunately for Rai, the last straw for this man. He put her down and trod on her ankle, making it break.

"AGH! WHAT THE **** WAS THAT FOR?!" She screamed.

"You were fucking screaming at me!" He screamt back. She looked up to give her captor a 'what the hell?' look and noticed how odd his hair was. White… and all shiny and slicked back… obviously with enough gel to protect him from a baseball hitting his head… maybe that's why he did it. Or maybe it was to protect his head from accidentally getting cut off by that massive shiny scythe attached to his back.

Shiny…teehee… Pointy…teehee… Rai giggled to herself.

"You were right, she is a fucking psycho." This man (who we all know as Hidan) whispered to Deidara who was watching all this with an unmatchable pleasure that was evident on his face.

"Gah!" Rai attempted to jump at him, but was…hindered by the fact she had a broken ankle, resulting in a painful falling of herself down onto the floor again.

Pein looked over at her. "Get up, or your brother dies." And he walked off.

Rai was confused… how the hell did he know Tobi was her brother? Then she thought about it for a minute and realised what a big mistake she had made… maybe she could wipe their minds… somehow.

Whilst she pondered how to do this and whilst she was healing her ankle with chakra, Pein walked over again and ordered Hidan to drag her back to her feet and shouted in her face.

"What did I just say to you?!" It was meant to be a rhetorical question, of course, but Rai either didn't know or didn't care.

"You said get up, but you didn't say when." She stated defiantly. She hoped that her brother could be of assistance to them until he escaped without her. No criminal in their right mind would… well; no criminal is technically in their right mind to start with so that would kinda…

Well, no self-respecting­ criminal would let her off without some pretty harsh penalties. Most of which, Rai thought, ended up in death for her.

But Pein simply seemed to look thoughtful and then stride off in an 'I'm so fantastical at what I do, I can just boss everyone around me around' fashion.

Whilst Rai was concentrating her glare on the back of his head, she was swept up and flung over someone's shoulders again, like a sack of flour. Except this time, there was blonde hair constantly getting into her mouth from a certain someone's ponytail. She daren't mention this though, as her opinion probably didn't favour as high as the man-lady's one in this position.

You all know that Rai's going to have to find out sometime about Deidara's hands, right?

Well, as far as I'm concerned, she learnt that in the most uncivil way possible.

"Deidara, what the hell do you think you're doing?" She yelled.

"Carrying you to Pein's office, un." He replied.

"No, you idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing with your hands?!"

"Carrying you, un?"

"Well, I would really appreciate it if you didn't carry me in that manner."

"…?"

"Stop your slimy little hands from feeling up my leg!!!" Rai was getting hysterical.

"Then what would you have them do, un?" He asked slyly.

"Ack! NOT THAT EITHER!"

"Then how else am I supposed to carry you without violating Pein's orders, un?"

"Get him to carry me!" She pointed violently past Deidara's ear towards Hidan.

Hidan's eyes widened and he backed away slowly. "No way, dude. That fucking spasmodic bitch is yours."

"Well then, that makes things a lot simpler, un…" He trailed off.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rai growled.

Deidara ignored her and her pleas for decency, bloody pervert.

When they eventually got to leader-sama's office, Pein was sitting there waiting at his desk, with Tobi on the opposite side, next to an empty chair which Deidara dropped her into, very ungraciously, for that matter.

"So, as you have probably figured out…" Pein started talking and Rai filled in the gaps in her mind.

'Because of our fantastical ninja skills…'

"I have brought you two…"

'Assassins that shall eat your brains of dooooooom…'

"Siblings here to join us or perish…"

'In our fiery pits of doom…'

"As of course we cannot trust you as of yet…"

'We'll give you a box of matches and let you run around town unsupervised…'

"You will stay here until we deem you fit…"

'Enough to be SUPERMODELS!...'

"To be members of the Akatsuki, or until we deem you fit enough to die…"

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

Tobi looked over at his sister, worried about what Pein was saying, to see if she had a master plan of escape. As Pein was talking, she seemed to be talking to someone, most likely herself, and her face was making spasmodic gestures, implying extreme medical deficiencies. Tobi just looked confused, behind the mask of course.

Rai sneered at Pein as he was telling them what was to become of the siblings, apparently, they were useful enough to keep alive but not useful enough to become members of his petty association. Rai figured that she could change that though. Tobi didn't intend to let her try.

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

Rai sat on her new found bed, next to her brother, discussing, and/or worrying about what was to become of them. Tobi sat with his mask off, she knew who he was and he didn't have to hide from her, which was a relief. It's always nice having someone you don't have to pretend for.

"So, they know my name. And yours is still Tobi, right?" Rai was referring to his multiple alias's he used whenever he needed someone to know his name but not his identity. It changed so often, she didn't even remember his original name, but they both remembered their last name, they could never forget that.

"Yes. Family name?"

"Midori. We never met our parents, our dad died as an ANBU officer and we never met our mother."

"Good. How old are we?"

"We don't know. Somewhere around our twenties, each."

"That should make it easier to remember, I guess…" Tobi stood up and started pacing the room. He stopped suddenly, obviously remembering something vital. "How do we explain your sharingan?"

Rai blinked. She hadn't even thought of that. There was no way she could hide it, Pein had already seen it, it wasn't like there were too many around either, you had to belong to certain clan's… which was the information that had to be kept a secret or they were both in dangerous danger.

"Maybe…they might not know it's the mang…"

"Oh, they know, Rai."

"Maybe he won't tell anyone… and I can just not use it and they won't notice…"

"Well, let's hope so."

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

"Get up!" Rai opened her eyes. Still dark. Not getting up.

She groaned and rolled over.

"Get up, Pein said I'm in charge of you, and I say get up now, un!" Deidara yanked the sheets of her bed, causing her to roll out of bed unceremoniously.

Rai groaned again.

"Okay, fine, un." He picked her up off the floor and out the door.

"Agh! Lemme go!" She lay over his shoulders kicking and screaming until she gave up and went limp. "Where's Tobi?"

"Zetsu took him, un."

"I wanna see Tobi!" She whined.

"No, you're coming with me, un. I have a mission and you're coming, un."

"Hmph."

Deidara walked into the kitchen and sat her on the bench.

"Make me breakfast, I'll be back soon, un." And he walked away.

Rai sat there for a minute, until she decided that was boring and lay down on the bench.

She heard footsteps. Crap! Deidara's back! …Oh well.

The footsteps stopped.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?!" She heard…quite close to her head.

She opened her eyes. A giant sword. Hmm…

"AGH! HOLY WHAT THE HELL A FUDGEMUFFIN! GEDITAWAAAAAY!" She jumped up on the windowsill and shooed it away.

The offending blue person raised an eyebrow and pointed his sword at her again.

"I said, who are you and what are you doing?" He repeated.

Rai sighed and lay back down on the bench.

"Ehem." He cleared his throat and Rai opened one eye to see that the sword was still in its offending position near her nose.

"I am Rai and I am lying on a bench." She stated matter-of-factly.

She was picked up by the collar and raised to eye level.

"Well I am Kisame and I am wondering what you are doing in our kitchen." He growled.

She sighed again.

"Well. You see, the thing is… I got captured and Pein says I have to prove my worth or else… well, I die." She shrugged.

"I see." He pondered for a minute before continuing. "Then what are you doing in the kitchen?" He seemed to have warmed up to her very quickly, seeing as she was a stranger that could be lying through her teeth.

"I am…" She couldn't remember what she was meant to be doing in the first place.

"…Ah, yes. I am making Deidara breakfast." She said triumphantly.

"Then shouldn't you be doing that?"

"Yes, yes I probably should." She looked thoughtfully around the room for a moment before exclaiming quite violently with a fist in the air. "Yes! I shall do that now!" And she waddled off to look for breakfasty type food items.

"So, why are you making him breakfast, anyway?" He asked conversationally as Rai jumped up to a top shelf to reach the sugar. She was making waffles!

"Uh… well. He is meant to be in charge of me, so I get to go on a mission today with him, but I have to make him breakfast because he's to goddamn lazy to do it himself." She muttered under her breath for a while.

"Okay then, good luck." Kisame smiled to himself and stood up and walked away.

Rai stood there, silently.

"That was weird." She said to herself.

Rai sighed again, for the hundredth time that day and started singing, loudly, badly and out of tune. To a song that she didn't know the name of, let alone the words to…

"YOU PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT AND DRINK IT ALL UP!" She screamed as she turned on a mixer she found at the back of some dark, dusty cupboard.

"I SAID… DOCTOR!" She bounced around the kitchen whilst it was mixing. "Can you give me something…" She stopped, mid-dance thinking hard about what the next words could be.

"Something something." She bounced back into action and with a flourish of her hand she turned off the mixer.

"I said…" She started again, quieter now that there was no mixer bashing to cover her terrible voice.

"Doctor." Came deep monotonous voice from behind her. She stopped still, put on a look of dignified modesty and spun around to face said intruder.

It was Deidara. She sighed and turned back around to empty the mix into the waffle-maker. She bounced around and hummed the rest of the song to herself, quite unperturbed.

Deidara walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"What. Is that, un?" He asked, shrivelling up his nose and raising an eyebrow.

Rai flicked the switch and turned around to face him.

"I'm making waffles!" She said hyperactively and looked up at him. He's tall. Too tall.

"…where did you get that?" He said, obviously very confused, indicating the waffle-maker, the likes of which he had never seen before.

She paused for dramatic effect. "I'm not quite sure." Her eyes shifted from side to side as she reminisced.

"Right then, un." The waffley maker beeped itself off and Rai pulled out her awesome waffles of doom. This place was starting to get to her. Spazmodic thoughts had replaced the logical sequential thoughts of yesteryear, where she would have poisoned it with some undetectable jutsu. But Rai was crumbling, well her brain was crumbling. Slowly but surely her awesome ninja skills were depleating and the thoughts of a normal teenager were leaking through.

"AGH! HOT!" She screamed and threw the waffles in the air, stupidly, and sucked her sore thumb. Deidara looked up caught the waffles and managed to stop Rai from falling into the sink whilst she was freaking out all in the same moment.

He looked at her. She looked at the waffles in his right hand. He looked at the waffles in his right hand. She looked at both his hands simultaneously. He looked at his left arm around her waist. She squealed (semi-gir like) and grabbeded a waffle and started chewing on it.

Deidara had an ingenious master plan. She had half a waffle sticking out of her mouth, staring around the room blankly. He leaned over and bit the waffle she had in her mouth.

Rai looked at him. He smirked and took another bite. She bwipped(1) him.

There was a silent stare down, both participants biting either end of a waffle.

The female of the two made the first move.

Rai slapped Deidara down to the ground and continued chomping on her waffle happily.

"You know…" He grunted as he made his way off the ground and stood facing the oblivious Rai. "I could kill you for that, un." He whispered in her ear. Rai raised her eyebrow.

"I could kill you for that." And with that he got slapped down again. "Have your breakfast and then we can go wherever you have to go." Rai walked out of the kitchen.

Deidara stood up again and smirked.

"Your OWN damn breakfast."

"Hmph." Deidara slumped off to eat his wonderfully splendiforously(2) tasting waffles.

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

"So where are we going anyway?" Rai asked, feeling very bored after sitting on a (FAKE!!!) bird all morning.

Deidara ignored her for the twelfth time in that past two hours. They had sped along the terrain like a boat speeds across jelly, that is, very fascinating and fantastic the first few minutes but then the jelly starts getting stuck in your hair and after that the novelty kinda wears off. Rai sighed and leant her face on her hand.

"I know what we could do!" She exclaimed.

Deidara looked incredulously in her direction. He was worried. Of course no one could ever know that, but he was.

"We should play eye spy!" She continued.

Deidara looked forward again.

"Ok, I'll start. Eye spy with my little eye… something beginning with…" She pondered the many numerous things flying past her. Too fast for her to see as a matter of fact.

"Hmm… It starts with 'W'!" She exclaimed, snapping her fingers. Deidara was confused. What in the world started with 'w' in the middle of a forest? He wasn't going to take part in such trivial childish games but this letter intrigued him.

"Willow tree, un."

"Nup."

"Wombat, un." (3)

"…No."

"Windy road, un."

"No."

"Wanker, un."

"Why the hell… uh, no."

"Whisper, un."

"How is it possible to see a whisper? You know you're not very goo…" Rai trailed off. Deidara leant over and whispered in her ear, little clouds forming because it was so cold.

"Can you see me, un?"

She gulped.

"OF COURSE I CAN BLOODY SEE YOU! I HAVE EYES YOU KNOW! TWO OF THEM RIGHT HERE!" She punched him in the head and pointed at her eyes violently, causing herself to poke said eyes.

"Agh! Noooo… my eyes…" She whimpered cuddling here eyes with her hands. Believe me, she managed it.

"Do you want me to –"

"NO!"

There was a silence. Not an awkward silence, not an expectant silence, just a silence. I guess you could call it a thoughtful silence if you so wished.

"Is it a walnut, un?"

"No."

"What about Worcestershire sauce, un?"

"…nnnooooo."

"Walrus?"

"…"

"Uh… Wiley coyote, un?" (4)

"Nuppers."

"Nuclear bomb, un."

"Noooooo. Do you give up?"

"Deidara doesn't give up!" Deidara said triumphantly, sounding a lot like a certain bushy eyebrowed freaky sensei, somewhere far far away.

"Sure sure."

"Wench…" He whispered under his breath.

"What was that!?" She demanded right back at him.

"Wench, un. Is it wench?" Oh yeah, real smooth Deidara. Real smooth.

"…No."

"Windsor."

"Isn't that a place in… nevermind. No, it's not Windsor."

"Then what the hell is it?!"

"Oh, so you do give up." She said slyly.

"I didn't say that, un. I just demanded to know what it was!"

"Okay, would it help if I told you there were three words?"

"What! That's not how you play the damn game, un. How the hell am I supposed to guess three words out of your head, un!"

"Fine then, Mr. Bossy. I'll tell you what they all start with. W… F… C. That is all."

"W, F, C?!"

"Yes, got it in one."

"Wandering… fat cows, un?"

"No."

"West…field cats."

"…No."

"White friends care?"

"Ding!"

"What, un?"

"You get one ding cuz you got one word right."

"… This is impossible. Just tell me, un."

"Nope."

"Fine, what do you want from me? I give up, this is hopeless, un."

"Yay! Okay. White Fluffy Clouds." Rai grinned at him.

Deidara looked at her with an indescribable feeling. A sort of mix between disappointment, superiority and the feeling you get when your character just gets bashed by people who don't know you… what was it? Ah yes, a loss of all self-respect.

The ride to…wherever they were going continued in that manner for a while until Rai decided she was bored again.

"Are we there yet?" She asked innocently.

Deidara just bwipped the air in front of him.

(1) Bwipped. A word I made up myself that is to do with the half shutting of the eyelids in order to convey a 'WTF?' or 'you're so stupid' look. The non-animated equivalent to a sweatdrop.

(2) Splenediforous. A word I did not make up that has to do with the splendidness and awesomeness of something.

(3) Wombat. Yes, a mammal that lives in my little Australia. Don't ask me why Deidara may think they were in Japan.

(4) Wiley coyote. Not mine. The people who made that show own him. Some old bloke with grey hair whom I believe is dead, actually. If you're not Mr. Man, deepest apologies. But if you're reading this, then you should have a better social life and I do not apologize.

Soooooo, didya like this one! I will update soon, gimme a review and it may be in less than days…if that is actually physically possible… hmm.

R&R PWEEZ! Reviews truly make me feel special. Please love me, criticize me, do whatever the hell you want, just review. I CAN TAKE A FLAME! Just be expecting some comical reflame flaming in return.

XD 3 ;) =^.^= btw omg wtf bbq ttyl XP and all that...