I'm so sorry! I'm not even going to get into the issues I've been going through. Who cares anyways? All that matters is that I have posted a new chapter. (A long one too) Just know that I do guarantee that I will never abandon this story. Just bear with me; and thank you so much for your patience and support to all my last reviewers and readers. Please RR!

Evie Antorcha

Overwhelming bliss…

I can't believe I completely broke down in front of Kenny, but he seemed to understand, as if he knew, after all this time, exactly about my inner dilemma of painful denial. The way he cupped my face and soothingly caressed his thumb against my cheek in comforting circles of endearment was nothing short of exhilarating. The tender kiss he placed on my forehead instantly sent my knees to wane its strength. And of course the words that had poured out his mouth only made my vulnerable state much more revealing.

"I love you too."

How did he know? I couldn't bring myself to say anything, his words echoed madly into my ears, etching into my mind. He completely read my thoughts at that very moment in time like some god damn psychic.

I merely looked into his eyes through a glossy coat of heavy moisture and nodded my head in agreement as I attempted to hold back any franticness that may be leaking out, I also felt a bit dizzy, but I didn't care. He warmly smiled and simply held me in his arms for god knows how long; calming me and murmuring that everything will be fine into my faintly ringing ear. We started walking back to Stan's house as soon as I composed myself well enough.

Completely gushing out all my very raw and hidden emotions was the best remedy I could hope for as difficult as it was to break down my massively protective egotistic wall. Kenny had coiled his arm around my shoulder and held me intimately tight as we sauntered down the street. I had no idea what time it was, or how long we've even been out, not that I really cared. We took our time as we walked down the sidewalk and the heavy darkness the skies possessed along with the exception of the lit street lamp posts played as a cloak against our very clear public display of affection.

While we eventually approached Stan's house Kenny released his comforting hold which unavoidably did disappointed me, only subtly. I figured you can't be too safe on who may be watching. We crept our way towards the corner of the house, we might as well have been a couple of guys on some black opts covert mission from how cautious we were being. The further we walked into the buried corner the more dark it was becoming much to my frustration. The already dull moon light diminished into nothing and there was no other dependable source of light within our path. We made sure not to rush and be careful as we could to avoid, sightlessly, from tripping into any of the nearby branches that Randy had sawed off from their hybrid poplar tree just a few days ago and had carelessly piled a bulk of them at the side of the house or smack into some random trash can that Stan might have not put back in its designated area. Once we made our way more into the deep corner, I quickly took hold of Kenny's hand, now lacking the confidence to know my way around myself in this pitch darkness and having him guide me in this rather blind obstacle course. I then sort of saw Kenny extend his other hand out in front of him making sure not to bump into anything as he reassuringly grasped my hand even tighter.

Unfortunately, I suddenly heard Kenny bump into a damn tin trash can making this huge rambunctious clang sound. We both freeze in place and I ceased my breath as if it would immediately stop the chaotic noise if I held it in long enough.

"Fuck." I hear Kenny seethe through his teeth.

I bite my lip and crease my eyebrows in worry. "It's fine." I convinced myself more then I did him. "I don't think anyone heard." I said with certainty while I maneuvered my way around him; our hands still clasped as I now conducted our way. I too sightlessly held my hand out in front of me like Kenny was.

I finally can see the brick wall approaching us and my hand thankfully rests upon it. Kenny moves next to me and we both look up at its height it shouldn't too difficult to climb considering we both hopped it only God knows how long ago. However, on the other side there was a sturdy dog house that had aid me to hop over the wall and I'm assuming Kenny had also used it. It had belonged Sparky who now hardly slept in it considering how frail he is now due his age that the average harsh coldness of the night and even day could potentially do some serious harm on him.

I first tried jumping onto the brick wall to at least get a good grasp at the top but failed and landed back onto my feet with a light grunt then I tried again with more effort this time but once again I didn't quite make it.

"Here." Kenny murmurs and he laces his fingers together creating a cupped shape with both his hands. "I'll give you a boast."

"Well what about you?" I ask a bit anxiously with the same soft tone as he used.

"When you get inside unlock the front door and I'll meet there." He said rushing his statement seeming on edge as he knelt down, encouraging me with the small plan.

I could've protested but I'm so uneasy right now since we bumped into that god forbidden tin trash container and Kenny is clearly on the same ride, so I acquiesced "…Alright" I say and place a single foot on his hands and he hoisted me up. I gripped my arms around the top of the wall, holding tight while I pressed my foot against the hard ceramic gaining some leverage as Kenny continued to raise me up more and I finally managed to make it to the top with one last good push. I straddled the wall for a brief moment before I found a spot to jump down. I landed on my feet with a thud and I couldn't help but to remember how I used to do this much more on a daily basis when I was younger with Kenny, Stan and sometimes Cartman's obese ass would tag along for the fun. We'd sneak into the local amusement park, fairs, and we even managed to sneak into a Denver football game with a single ticket when Cartman pretended to suffer a seizure as a distraction from security and the half the stadiums employees.

"Go to the front now." I harshly whisper with both hands cupped around my mouth to further project and I simply heard his footsteps as a response.

I swiftly run with easy steps to the back door hoping to Moses it is still unlock. I grip the knob and slowly turn it due to heavy adrenaline that currently coursing through my blood, and luckily it opened with nothing more then a hardly audile pop of the door.

I walk into the small wash room just as cautious as I was earlier, but something made my breath catch in my throat. From the washroom there is a door frame leading into the kitchen and I noticed a faint light that had just spread the tile floor right when I had closed the back door, the refrigerator light maybe? If I hadn't been out with Kenny earlier I wouldn't be as jumpy as I am now to who may be in the kitchen. I feel like whoever is on the other side would immediately know what I've been up to all night, and chastise a lengthy string of cutting anti-gay obscenities.

I silently take in a deep breath aware that my minds every leading thought at this moment is definite paranoia. Who the hell can be in the kitchen? If its either Stan or Cartman they would know that Kenny and I have been gone, but they were pretty knocked out before we had left to the back yard. Maybe it was Randy or Sharon? One of them probably got thirsty or something and is digging through the fridge to quench themselves. I decide to wait quietly in the dark confined room and just wait until the light is gone and know for fact they exit the kitchen.

I continue to stand and wait, patiently. A few minutes go by and the light has not gone away yet, it feels like it's been about five minutes now. Yet being in this type of situation time would go by real slow, but still! Not anyone, even Cartman would take this long staring into a fridge. Fuck, what they hell are they doing? My edginess is now being replaced with impatience. Kenny is probably freezing outside waiting for me to unlock the door.

Finally, after a few more minutes I see the light go away and I wait about another three minutes to make sure they left the room. I slowly then peak my head into the kitchen just enough to see if anyone is in there, and to my relief there isn't.

I move stealthily into the kitchen and pause at the entrance to the living room to make sure that Stan and Cartman are still asleep in the same spot they were in before I left, and I see that they are, Stan on the couch Cartman on the floor. However, they both now have blankets covering them up and pillows that they didn't have earlier. It was probably Sharon who provided that, I just hope she didn't go out her way too much to know where Kenny and I were at. She could've very well thought I was sleeping Stan's room and Kenny could've been in the bathroom or something. I tip toe into the living room and notice the time on the cable box 2:15 am it read. Good, so Kenny and I have only been out a little over an hour.

I go to the front door and ever so quietly unlock the top and bottom lock and partially opened the door with a soft creek, Kenny slipped in with his arms crossed over his chest from the cold. He looked at me with a trace of concern.

"What took so long?" He asked in a mere whisper.

"Someone was in the kitchen." I answer back as I gently closed and locked the door.

"So." Kenny said nonchalantly.

I lightly shook my head my curls bouncing from side to side and I motioned with my hand to go upstairs with me since I didn't want to risk waking up Stan or Cartman; my bag with my sleep wear is up in Stan's room anyways. We softly walked up to his room with the door shut and all just to be safe that no one would so happen to walk by. Kenny sat in Stan's computer chair as I tossed my bag on his bed and began rummaging through for my sleep pants and T-shirt. Kenny spun the chair around, faced his computer and turned on the power.

"Damn, what hell is Stan trying to hide." Kenny mentioned to the screen as it displayed his user name and blank password box.

"Dude, I wouldn't want someone going through my computer." I said with a smile, knowing exactly why I wouldn't want anyone including Kenny going through it for very embarrassing reasons.

"So what if he might have a little porn stashed." Kenny chuckled as he typed in some random password which clearly wasn't the correct one, after one more failed attempt he shut the computer down. He spun the chair around again and faced me with one of his signature smirks.

I held my pajama clothes in one hand looking back at Kenny with an awkward smile. Any other time I wouldn't care about taking off my clothes in front of him but considering where we stand with each other now it is a bit odd. Should I just go ahead and change with him in the room or should I go into the bathroom or something.

"You act like I've never seen you naked let alone in your boxers." Kenny said quirking a single brow.

He's right, before and after P.E class we'd change in front of each other all the time, Kenny, Stan, Cartman's fatass and me. It was never uncomfortable then, only during the few instances I'd be discreetly checking Kenny out along with a few other boys I must admit. I'd later mentally slap myself for doing so along with my everyday collection of questions about why I like to look at other boy's asses and why the fuck do I keep developing these lingering fantasies of immoral desires.

I let out a quick sigh. "I know but it's only us in here but… it feels a little… too intimate." I said with a lace of sarcasm.

"Well, you can now experience taking your clothes off knowing that intimate fact." Kenny said, emphasizing the word intimate. He leaned more comfortably in the chair like he's waiting for some sort of show to happen before him.

And I guess I'm the opening act.

I first take off my shoes only leaving my socks on. I then take off my jacket and tossed it to the floor along with my shirt which I took off just as quickly. I stand a few moments shirtless in front of Kenny as I watched him check me out, and fuck did it turn me on. I'm now aware that I'm not able to fully control the things that are happening in my body. I grab my clean T-shirt about to put it over my head until I heard Kenny clear his throat.

"I don't think so." He says almost devilishly. "Pants off too before you put on that shirt."

I bit my lip as my cheeks burn a coat of blush. "If I haven't known you my whole life, I'd consider this as attempt rape." I joke.

"Likewise." Kenny says with a smile, one of those hot Kenny smiles.

I obey his order and tug at the zipper of my jeans teasingly. I continued to mess with the zipper acting as if I'm having difficulty pulling it down. I see Kenny faintly shift in his seat as he licked his suddenly dry lips. He looked almost uncomfortable but he still carried that look in his eyes as he continued to watch me. I eventually slide my jeans down until they reached to my ankles and kicking the material off.

I now stood in nothing but in green boxers and socks and Kenny still didn't tear his eyes away, staring… relishing. It made me feel so good that I was able to make Kenny react this way towards me. I run a single hand through a mess of curls not exactly knowing what to do in under these circumstances. I gave a small smile in effort to break the now sudden tension that filled the room.

"I'm gonna put on my clothes now." I softly say, while I grabbed my clothes.

Kenny blinked letting out a wobbly sigh and adjusted his seating position as if he was shaking off whatever trace he under, which I couldn't help to smile at as I faced the floor doing so.

"Yea, okay." Kenny said heartedly, and he let out other final sigh and he stood up and pulled at his jacket striating it out.

I put on my pants then shirt as Kenny continued to watch me do even that. I walked to him and smiled and he managed to smile back, shoving both his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"You know…" I begin the say. "You know, absolutely no can know about this."

He shook his head in agreement. "Yea, I know."

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek probably knowing if he kissed me on the lips then it would lead to further acts we're not in the secure position to do so, its way too risky.

"I'll go sleep down stairs." He says grabbing one of Stan's blankets and a single pillow.

"Alright, I'll be here." I murmur as I watch him pause at the door giving me one last smile before shutting the door and leaving the room completely.

I couldn't sleep for about another hour, tossing around the bed as my mind wondered throughout one thousand different thoughts, but the last thought I had before I finally drifted to sleep I remember muttering it to myself.

"No one can know…"

At moment I remember feeling like I never escaped my fear, still running away from the things I don't feel comfortable with.

And that's why absolutely no one could know about Kenny and me.