Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own POTO... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: ErikRaoul slash.
Warning(s): homosexuality (that's what slash is people, but in later chapters though)
Pairing(s): ErikRaoul
A/N: Random updates, huh? I don't mean to be so wayward in my writings, but lately I've had a major case of ADD so I'm actually working on three different stories (which isn't very smart when it comes to my writing. Tones tend to get mixed up, so I'm trying to focus, but in matters of importance, this fic is actually pretty low. So, I've decided to screw focus because I want to keep writing this story. Right? .)
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Imaginary Friends
Chapter 05 – Faults
o.o.o.o
By: Lucifer Rosemaunt
o.o.o.o
Last time:
One town over, Raoul's family realizes that he's gone and so the search for him begins. The gypsy realizes he cannot ransom Raoul, but has a plan to get rid of him. Oh, and Raoul finally sees Erik's face. o
o.o.o
Philippe sat impatiently in his seat staring at the food in front of him. How could they just be eating? Raoul was still missing. His little brother who trusted him, who believed in everything he said, who followed him to the point of annoyance. Raoul was missing, and he was eating dinner. Philippe wanted to be out in the city looking for him.
Looking at his parents, he could almost not tell that they wanted to go out and look for him as well. He knew they cared, but for some reason, he felt so angry with them. They made pleasant conversation with his sisters, and he wanted to yell at them. Under the table, he clenched his fists tightly until they hurt. It was all so frustrating. Surely, his sisters must have realized that something was wrong. Raoul had not been with them the entire day.
Mentally Philippe knew he should eat, but he was not hungry. He had not touched his dinner. It was his fault that Raoul was missing. He had to set things right, and sitting here at this table was not going to help. Staying in this town was not going to help. There was no point in staying here any longer. It was pointless. They would have found Raoul by now if he were here. Besides that, Philippe was fairly certain that Raoul was back in the last city with the carnival. His brother had to be there.
After dinner when his mother was tending to his sisters, Philippe approached his father, "Let's leave now."
He was a little worried that his father would argue with him. Being the good son, he would have felt bad arguing with his father. He had to find Raoul though. Instead of denying his request, his father responded, "I already told your mother we were leaving now."
Philippe smiled with relief before rushing towards the stables.
o.o.o
Erik stood with his back towards the brat holding a rag to his face. He waited for the inevitable screams. He knew he would have to quiet him, but he did not want to approach Raoul and scare him further.
When no sounds came, Erik slowly turned around making sure his deformity was still covered.
Raoul stood immobile. His blue eyes were wide and filled with tears. His small hands were clasped over his mouth stifling what Erik knew to be a scream. His small chest was heaving with the effort it took to be silent. Erik waited for any other reaction, but Raoul did not move a single muscle. His eyes stared at his face and even though Erik knew he was covering his deformity, it felt as though Raoul could still see it.
In fact, Erik knew he could still see it mentally. His face was a difficult sight to forget. He had probably just traumatized the brat for life.
This reaction though was… better than what he had been expecting? Better? Was this actually better? What was he supposed to do with Raoul now? He was still breathing. He was also still crying. The brat was in shock. Erik was torn between leaving him alone until he calmed down and approaching him.
Looking at Raoul, he knew he could not just leave him like that. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen now. Erik decided.
He slowly began to approach Raoul. He pressed harder on the rag since blood was starting to flow down his face. Blood slid into his left eye blurring his vision. Closing his eye to wipe it, he was taken by surprised when Raoul hugged him tightly hiding his face into Erik's stomach.
He was crying again. Erik could feel Raoul's whole body trembling. Erik used his free hand to pry Raoul away from him. He wondered, not for the first time, why the boy was so tactile. He wondered if all children were like that. He knew for certain that he did not mind. Not only did he not mind that Raoul wanted to be hugged, but he secretly relished it no matter how awkward he felt. Now was not the time for Raoul to be hugging him though.
When he had successfully pushed Raoul an arm's length away, Erik realized that Raoul was actually talking.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." He babbled with true remorse. Raoul stared at him with such guilt-ridden eyes that he looked much older than he really was.
'Sorry?' Erik did not understand him at all. Raoul tried to hug him again, but he held him back easily.
Raoul was persistent though. He calmed momentarily to reply. "The monsters got you. Are you okay?" Raoul suddenly pulled on Erik's arm with surprising strength, enough that he dropped the rag. Before he could pick it up, Raoul grabbed it away from him.
Raoul pushed him hard enough that he lost balance and fell back against the carriage wall falling to the ground. His back and butt stung from the fall, but Erik did not have much time to think about it. Raoul climbed on his lap like always, but this time Erik did not have the sack to hide behind. Rag in hand, Raoul reached towards the blood on his face. Erik could not fight it when he flinched and his arm shot up to violently knock Raoul's hand away. Raoul flinched as well. He cradled his arm with tears still running down his face.
Erik could not stand the way that Raoul looked at him. Wide guilty eyes. This was all wrong. He did not want to be the reason that Raoul had that expression.
"You're wrong, Raoul." He turned his face so that he could hide his deformity with one hand.
"Wrong?" He stopped trying to reach his face, and the tears had subsided.
Erik found it hard to explain. How could he say that he was naturally this ugly? He was naturally deformed. Raoul had probably never seen anything like him before, and now he was trying to tell that boy that he was the only real monster that nature could create. "Monsters didn't attack me."
It was as though Raoul was not listening to him. He insisted. "You're bleeding. Let me fix this. I can stop it."
Raoul reached towards his face again, but Erik grabbed his arms. He was loathe to do so since it meant that his face would be uncovered, but he could not let Raoul touch him.
"Brat, listen to me." Erik raised his voice before taking a deep breath. He could not yell no matter how loud the carnival was outside.
Raoul was awkwardly seated since his arms were being held. He remained half on Erik but stopped trying to reach his face. Raoul glared though the tears that still clung to his eyes and the sniffling reduced its effect greatly. Erik could feel Raoul trembling slightly. Erik could guess that it was because Raoul was trying to not cry or perhaps it was simply fear. There was no way that the brat could look at his face and not be afraid.
"It's not your fault." Erik tried to make him understand.
Raoul shook his head fervently, "You were looking for me. You were looking for my family and you got hurt…"
"I was born like this," Erik cut him off and released his arms slowly. "I am the monster."
Raoul looked genuinely confused. He reached out again with the rag and this time Erik let him. The small, shaky hand dabbled at the blood on his face. Erik could taste it on his lips and in his mouth. The rag would do nothing but smear the blood, but Raoul tried to gently lift the blood from his face. Raoul had adjusted himself so that he was kneeling between Erik's legs so that he could better reach his face. Leaning against the wall, Erik detachedly realized that he was trembling himself. He had wrapped his arms loosely around Raoul's back. To keep him from running away, a part of Erik's mind supplied.
Of course, Raoul had not screamed or yelled. He had not mocked him or called him a devil's child, but then again, Raoul was young. He did not know better and there was no place for him to run at this moment. Yet, Erik could not quash the desire to keep Raoul with him. He did not want the brat to be able to run away. He began to wonder if he could just take Raoul for himself. He would have to find a way to escape from this prison, but he knew that he could do it. He had to be able to do it. It was the only way to keep Raoul with him.
When Raoul realized that what he thought were fresh wounds on Erik's face were in fact not the source of the blood, he still could not quite understand what had happened to Erik. The rag was not helping very much, but he could see Erik's face clearly enough. Somewhere in his mind, Raoul knew if Erik had been born with the deformity, it could not be his fault. The overwhelming guilt would not leave him though. He felt like his own face was in pain, and he wanted to make the pain for Erik just stop.
Raoul did not know what to do. Erik's face was scary, but he could not help but feel responsible for Erik's obvious pain. Not knowing what else to do, Raoul wrapped his arms around Erik pulling him close so that Erik's head was buried against his chest. He was crying again. Erik had stopped trying to figure out what Raoul would do next so he simply allowed Raoul to do as he wished. If the boy wanted to hold him, then Erik would no longer dissuade him.
He knew that he could not deny Raoul anything.
Erik also did not try to move knowing that in their current position Raoul would not have to look at his face. It was muffled when he spoke, "Are you scared?"
Raoul nodded.
He scoffed before replying, "I told you not to look, brat."
Raoul shook his head furiously and Erik could picture his short brown hair falling over his eyes.
"I'm sorry," the phrase grated against Erik's conscience.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Erik tried to insist.
Raoul pulled away from the hug and made quite a fuss trying to settle himself on his lap. Looking up at him, Erik could not help but think that the boy was brave. It was obvious he was scared, but Raoul focused on his eyes. Erik liked looking into those clear blue eyes, but he wished they were not filled with such guilt. Raoul tentatively raised his hands before his resolve set in and he grabbed Erik's face. With an expression and tone that Erik did not think four year olds could muster, he spoke, "I'll make everything right. We'll leave here together."
Erik knew he should laugh at the statement but he wanted to believe that they would both get out of the carnival unharmed. He wanted to believe in Raoul's unwavering faith in his family and in him.
Raoul leaned forward to kiss him on the deformed cheek as he had done so many other times to the other miscellaneous bruises, but Erik was startled nonetheless. He felt hyperaware of the small hands that touched his deformity so easily and the kiss since nothing but his own hands and the rough fabric of the sack ever touched it. Raoul sat back down before realizing something. "We need to promise."
"Promise?"
"Promise that we'll both be able to leave the carnival," Raoul said seriously, "Oh. And that I'll protect you from the monsters."
Erik wondered if it should be the other way around, but decided it was best not to correct him. He mentally added his own promise to the list. He would do everything in his power to give Raoul whatever he desired. He held up his pinky finger expectantly, but Raoul only stared at his hand.
"Well?"
"This is more important than a pinky swear!" Raoul almost yelled before remembering himself, "This isn't just a secret. It's a lifelong promise." Raoul flung his arms out to punctuate lifelong, almost hitting Erik. Only Erik's quick reflexes helped to avoid the pending contact. Raoul looked sheepish, but set to think of a good promise method holding his chin with his hand in a gesture Erik was certain was copied from a relative.
Erik had no idea what to do. He did not know anything about pinky swears or lifelong promises. Though he would not break the pinky swear, Erik did not believe it was necessary. Erik had no one to tell any secret to. He also did not believe in lifelong promises. He barely believed in a tomorrow. How could he when every tomorrow held nothing but pain? As much of an absurdity as it was to make promises for a nonexistent future with a child who he would never see again but probably never forget, it seemed only natural to patronize him. It eased Raoul's mind, and in a way, it eased Erik's.
While Erik was mulling over promises, Raoul had come to a solution to their problem of making the lifelong promise. He once more grabbed Erik's face before kissing him chastely on the lips. Erik pulled back so abruptly that he hit his head on the wall.
Reaching up to rub the back of his head, he asked incredulously, "What was that?"
"Did I not do it right?" Raoul reached forward again and pecked him once more one the lips.
Erik's head was pressed against the wall so he just stared at Raoul in disbelief. "S-stop. Don't do that again."
"My parents said," Raoul tried to explain, "a kiss was a promise made with your whole body and soul."
Erik nodded absentmindedly. Though the kiss was chaste, no one had ever kissed him before and his lips were tingling.
"Actually," Raoul continued with a slightly perplexed expression, "that's the explanation for why married people kiss." Looking up at Erik guilelessly, he asked, "Does that mean we're married now?"
For some reason, Erik could not fight the blush that spread across his face. He did not know why he was blushing in the first place. Before he could respond, he heard the gypsy approach the carriage. Easily lifting Raoul from his lap, he placed him in the corner and draped the blanket over him. Raoul knew to remain quiet.
Erik wondered what the gypsy wanted now. Would there be another beating? Instead of a beating though, he barely saw the gypsy's arm as he placed down some bread and water before quickly closing the door once more. It was odd behaviour, but Erik approached the food waiting to hear the familiar click of the lock.
He froze in his place when he heard the gypsy walking away. Raoul watched him in confusion.
Erik looked at the door in disbelief. There had been a click, but it did not catch.
The door was unlocked.
o.o.o
Philippe was at wits end. They had traveled the necessary hours to reach the previous city, but it was already dark. It was already late and the streets were practically empty. They had passed the carnival and it had shut down for the night, apparently a few hours before they arrived. There was no one to question there.
They were currently at the police station where his father was speaking to an official. Philippe on the other hand was pacing outside. He walked down the street keeping the police station in his sight else his father worry about him. He checked down streets and in the dark alleys hoping that Raoul would just appear. He prayed with everything he had that Raoul would find his way back to their family.
His father exited the station and Philippe knew from the set of his jaw that there had not been any news. At least, there had not been any good news.
Seeing how perturbed Philippe was, his father prepared himself for a long night. He placed his hand on Philippe's shoulder, "It's not your fault."
Philippe almost shrugged off the hand before remembering himself, "He was my responsibility."
He knew that his father would not argue against that, but he was not expecting his father to say, "Many things happen unexpectedly, but perhaps they were meant to occur. We make mistakes, but those mistakes only matter if we don't do anything about them."
Philippe let the words sink in.
Before he could respond, his father continued, "You have two hours and we will meet back here. It will be better if we split up to find anything."
He nodded mutely watching as his father left. This was his chance to do something about his mistake. His father was giving him the opportunity to set things right.
o.o.o
Raoul had approached him asking what was wrong, but Erik just offered him the bread and water before sitting down. Raoul sat on his lap offering Erik bites every now and then. Erik hardly paid any attention as they shared dinner.
His mind was working through all possible scenarios. He was forming a plan.
There were still people outside. The carnival would not close for another hour or so. He would have to wait another few hours. His master rarely checked on him in the night. That would not be a problem.
He could open the door and take Raoul… could he take Raoul? What was he thinking? Raoul wanted to be with his family. He could not take him. He had just promised to give Raoul whatever he desired. Raoul wanted his family. However, Raoul also wanted to be with him. Erik knew that fact.
He chewed on a piece of bread thoughtfully and subconsciously tightened his hold on the boy in his arms.
He could lie. He could tell Raoul that he was going to take him to his family. That might work for a while, but he would have to think of a place they could hide. It would not be too hard. He wanted to be anywhere but here. He could hide in the forest. They could scrounge for food in the forest and steal some food in the cities. It would not be bad. It would be much better than staying here. Moreover, Raoul would be with him. He would have the smiles, laughs, kind touches, and even kinder kisses. Just that would be enough for him.
Raoul shifted so that he laid his head against Erik's chest settling in to sleep. He knew that in the morning his family would be there to take them both away. They would find him, and he would convince them that Erik needed to come with them. Everything would be fine.
"Sing to me." Raoul requested.
Erik nodded and began to hum a random melody adding words as they came to him. Raoul fell asleep easily, and Erik knew that sleep was the furthest thing from his own mind. He waited anxiously for a moment when he felt safe to make their escape.
o.o.o
The gypsy waited anxiously in a tent near the devil's child's carriage. It was late at night and he had been waiting for quite some time. The carnival had quieted some hours ago. He wiped his sweating palms against his pants. He had been too far to hear any noises from the carriage, but he was confident in his plan.
He was confident that the monster would take this opportunity, and he would be free of them both. He would be free from his burden though he wondered what he would be able to do once the monster was gone. He wondered how he would make a living. He could find other tasks, but he did find great amusement in beating the monster. If only that fortuneteller's prediction had not been so grim, this would not have happened. The monster would kill him. He did not know the true validity of the prediction but he did not want to take the chance.
Then he heard it. The carriage door was being opened. He watched from his hiding spot as the monster peaked out of the carriage and looked around to see if anyone was around. The gypsy held his breath hoping that he would not be spotted so early.
Erik disappeared back into the carriage after a moment. He approached Raoul who he had placed on the floor. He gently woke him.
"We're leaving." Erik said simply.
He was expecting more questions, but Raoul simply rubbed his eyes and raised his arms in a motion to be picked up, "Okay."
Erik almost felt guilty for what he was about to do. He wished that Raoul did not trust him so completely. He picked him up and quietly jumped out of the carriage.
The gypsy watched as the monster headed towards the city. He smiled and breathed out a sigh of relief. This would work out for him.
It took Erik a moment to get his bearings, but he headed for the city. He had never actually traveled through the city. He just knew that if he followed the streets in one direction long enough, he would find forest. He figured that he had at least a few hours before anyone realized they were gone. By that time, he hoped to be well into the forest.
Only a few blocks away from the carnival with Raoul still firmly in his arms however, he heard a yell that made his blood run cold.
He heard the gypsy yell loud enough that Erik knew almost every person in the carnival would be woken, "The monster has escaped!"
"Hold on tighter," Erik whispered to Raoul. He could feel Raoul's breath quicken, but the legs around his waist tightened, as did the hold around his neck. He ran as fast as he could, but he was tiring quickly. He was not used to this much exertion, but the adrenaline was pumping through his body and he ran almost blindly. He was close to freedom. So close.
o.o.o
Philippe had been nearby when gypsies rushed to the police station. He watched as the station emptied of all the officers and everyone began to disperse through the streets. He watched in confusion.
Stopping an officer who was running past him, he asked, "What has happened?"
Looking distraught, the officer grabbed his shoulders, "You must find shelter. The devil's child has escaped."
Philippe froze. The face that had haunted him the previous night came to mind and he shuddered.
The officer left him hoping that someone else would find the monster.
Philippe only realized that he would have to search harder. If Raoul were on the streets, who knew what would happen if the devil's child came upon him. He raced through the streets hoping that luck was on his side.
o.o.o
Erik ran away from all the shouts. They echoed through the night.
"The monster has escaped. The monster has escaped."
Raoul had whispered in his ear with conviction, "You're not a monster, Erik."
He smiled sadly at that, but did not allow himself to think. Thinking required energy, and what he needed to do was leave the city.
He pressed into the shadows when he heard footsteps that were too close. Both he and Raoul would hold their breaths. Once the footsteps faded down another street, he would run once more.
It was pressed against the wall in the deepest shadow they could find that Erik heard footsteps of an individual running nearby. Raoul held his breath and watched as the person paused at the entrance.
However, unlike before, Raoul called out. "Philippe!"
Philippe stared into the darkness. Could he have actually found Raoul?
Erik tightened his hold on Raoul who turned to him to say, "It's my brother. We're safe now."
Erik's throat convulsed. He turned to run away, but Raoul's voice stopped him, "Erik?"
Squeezing his eyes shut, he slowly let go of the small body. More footsteps were heading towards them. They had heard Raoul's yell. Erik could not find it in himself to move just yet though. He watched as Raoul ran to Philippe.
Erik waited for them to turn and simply leave him behind. Instead, Raoul grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him back to the darkness.
"Sir, thank yo…" Philippe's voice died in his throat as Erik stepped partially into the light. Philippe knew that face. It was the devil's child. He stopped dead in his tracks and Raoul jerked at the movement.
"Philippe. What are you doing?"
Philippe pulled on Raoul's hand. They needed to get away, but the monster's eyes were holding him in place. They were filled with sadness. It felt as though he were taking away the most important thing in the monster's life. He glanced at Raoul who was not the slightest afraid of the monster. In fact, Raoul was trying to pull him towards the monster.
"We need to hurry and go, Philippe." Raoul pulled him forward and reached towards Erik's hand. Erik extended his hand to grab Raoul's when both Philippe and Raoul were jerked back by officers.
Erik tried to run and Philippe watched as though in a daze as his younger brother screamed and cried for the monster. Raoul pulled free from Philippe's grasp. He pulled away from the officers and ran towards Erik. Erik on the other hand realized that he was never going to leave with Raoul. He turned to run but one of the police officers grabbed his arm and pulled him down onto the floor. He struggled as two tackled him grabbing his arms and legs. He punched and kicked with everything in him.
He heard Raoul's screams and it fueled him to try to escape. If he were free, he would be able to find his way back to Raoul. He could not let himself be caught. Through all the hits that had been landed on his body, he remained silent. He only fought harder and tried to pull himself away from the increasing number of soldiers who held him down.
Erik saw flashes of Raoul through the foray. He saw the brat clawing his way towards him, calling for him in desperation. He knew that Raoul should not see something like this and mentally apologized to him.
When he felt the manacles click into place indicating his further imprisonment, he only felt that it had been inevitable. He only cried out when they pulled Raoul from his sight. Erik simply knew that it would be the last time he would see Raoul.
o.o.o.o
End Chapter
Word count: 4,471
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A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Chapter review: I feel bad for Erik here, but what do you expect. The happily ever after can't happen just yet… well it could but that's another story, right?
Thanks to you awesome reviewers!