A/N- Hello all! Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving—you know what I'm thankful for? That it looks like Blair and Chuck actually, you know, interact in this Monday's Gossip Girl! In celebration of that fact- my new chapter! Hope you enjoy…
The Lost Weekend
--
Chapter Eleven
Blair stirred restlessly next to Serena, staring at her sleeping friend in disbelief. Serena had always had this ability to fall asleep minutes after her head hit the pillow, something that had simultaneously amazed and annoyed Blair.
Ever since they were kids, Blair would sleep over and within minutes of getting under the covers, Serena would be passed out, dead asleep, hands folded peacefully under one cheek. It was almost comically adorable. But it gave Blair no one to talk to. Blair had never been able to fall asleep quickly- her brain was always still racing with thoughts, dreams, plans when she got in bed at night.
Suddenly, she heard the door across the hall open and close. Chuck's room. Chuck was home. Her heart sped up like the giddy little teenager she despised still being. She hadn't seen him all day at school, and he had been at work after and hadn't been able to talk.
She got out of bed, putting on her pink silk robe over her black nightgown. What the hell. It's not like Serena would miss her.
"Sweet dreams, S." Blair said under her breath, opening the door.
Serena sighed slightly in her sleep, rolling onto her back, her long blonde hair spread out around her. Blair sighed. Annoyingly perfect, even in her sleep.
Whatever. Time for the one thing that always made her feel better, she thought with a small smile. Chuck.
--
Chuck loosened his tie, kicking off his shoes and collapsing onto his bed. He and Georgina had spent the last six hours helping the marketing team plan a huge party at Victrola thrown by New York magazine. It was going to happen the Tuesday after he got back from Paris, and honestly Chuck just did not care. He didn't feel like planning anything that required him to hang out more with Georgina, the Victrola girls, and his father's bloodthirsty employees. Ugh.
One more day and he'd be on a plane with Blair. He closed his eyes. Blair. He hadn't seen her all day. He could almost imagine her there with him, almost feel her leaning over him, her hands sliding up his outstretched arms…
"Only Chuck Bass would not be surprised by a girl entering his bedroom unannounced and molesting him."
He opened his eyes, momentarily shocked to see Blair smiling down at him. Had he lost his mind?
"Blair…what are you doing here?" He smiled, watching her take off her silk robe.
"I was sleeping over with Serena. And not in a "I'm-trying-to-seduce-Chuck" kind of way. For real this time." She grinned.
"And you just left poor Serena all by herself?" Chuck said, rubbing her soft bare arms.
"She's asleep," Blair kissed him softly.
"Lucky me." Chuck smiled.
"I missed you today." Blair murmured, kissing her way down the side of his face to his neck.
"I missed you too," Chuck caught her hands as they started to unbuckle his belt, "Blair, I don't know if I'll be very good company. I'm exhausted."
Blair looked up at him, her eyes sparkling wickedly. "Who said you have to do anything?"
Chuck closed his eyes, leaning his head back. Sometimes it really was good to be Chuck Bass.
--
Ridiculously early the next morning, Blair woke up to Chuck's alarm clock. She rubbed her eyes wearily, sitting up in bed. Chuck was at the foot of the bed, already perfectly groomed and dressed in a three piece gray pinstriped suit. He was adjusting his sleeves, one perfectly shined shoe crossed over his knee.
Blair looked at the clock, groaning. "Chuck, it's six o'clock in the morning. Why are we awake?"
"I have a morning meeting," Chuck clicked off the alarm, kissing her forehead, "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry, I forgot to turn it off."
"Do you always wake up this early?" She leaned back against his navy blue pillows.
"Usually. I have to get a lot of things done before school."
She stared at him, marveling at how calm and collected he always seemed even though he was juggling more things than the average mid-thirties businessman.
He stood up, surveying his reflection briefly.
"You look amazing. Get over yourself." Blair smiled sleepily.
Chuck crossed to her, gently touching her bare shoulder, "I still have to get some stuff together in here. Do you want to go to Serena's room? I don't want to keep you up."
Blair sighed, getting out of bed and letting Chuck put her robe around her shoulders. " So I'm banished?"
"Don't be so dramatic. I'll see you in a few hours."
"Okay." Blair smiled dreamily at him.
"I think I might start looking forward to you spending the night with Serena." Chuck smiled back.
"Yeah, I bet," She straightened his tie before walking off, "Bye, Chuck."
"Bye, Blair."
--
Serena had apparently not moved from the position Blair had left her in the night before.
Blair Waldorf and bed-hopping. Not her usual modus operandi, she thought with a smile. At least Serena set her alarm for a more reasonable hour. Nights with Chuck and mornings with Serena.
The whole concept of blended families was strangely growing on Blair.
Serena stirred slightly when Blair got under the covers.
"What's wrong, B?" She mumbled groggily.
"Nothing. Go back to sleep. Everything's wonderful." Blair said, smiling and meaning it.
One more day until Paris.
--
"How'd it go with the caterers?" Chuck asked, walking into the office where Georgina had spent most of the evening on the phone making party plans.
"Tres bien," Georgina winked at him, "You been practicing your French phrases, Bass?"
"I've been fluent since I was five, connasse." Chuck snatched the food menu from her, surveying her choices.
She took his comment in stride, looking more impressed than insulted. "So are you like super excited about tomorrow with Blair?" Georgina clasped her hands together, talking in a Valley Girl voice.
"Stop being obnoxious." Chuck said blandly, "This all looks adequate," He said, signing off on the menu.
"The great Chuck Bass approves of my choices? God, I feel so validated!" Georgina took the menu back.
"What's gotten into you today? You're annoying me more than usual." Chuck finally did actually look at her.
"I don't know what you mean." Georgina shrugged.
"No, seriously. You look exhausted. Whatever did you get up to last night?" Chuck sat down, crossing one leg over the other.
"You're actually asking me questions about my life? I thought we weren't friends." Georgina looked at him intently, as if trying to figure out his new game.
""We're not friends. But when one of my father's employees shows up looking like Amy Winehouse, I'm allowed to ask questions."
Georgina sighed. She was paler than usual, and her eye make-up looked like she had just woken up and gone out with whatever was left over from last night.
"Your concern is touching, Bass. But I'm fine," She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms, "Well, well, well. Look at us. I'm clean and sober, you're headed to Paris with your girlfriend- the Georgina Sparks and Chuck Bass from two years ago wouldn't even recognize us. I think we toasted Blair's sixteenth birthday with cocaine and Cristal, right?"
Chuck's brow furrowed, looking a little sickened with himself. "I had forgotten about that. At the Regency with Trevor."
"My favorite dealer." She sighed in remembrance, "Despite Blair's best efforts to have the most boring party ever, that actually turned out to be a pretty good night."
"I guess." Chuck said, remembering very little about that night but remembering the crushing hangover the next morning very well.
"You were so fucked up I thought you were going to do Trevor instead of me." Georgina giggled.
"Too bad I didn't. Imagine the blackmail material." Chuck pointed out.
"True. Information is everything." Georgina said slyly.
"I suppose," Chuck put a copy of the menu in his book bag, checking his watch. Just past nine. Finally, he'd get to leave at a reasonable hour. He would have time to go home and pack for tomorrow, actually talk to Blair before midnight, finish those "Mad Men" DVDs with Eric and Serena—it was going to be a good night. "I think we're done here. Don't burn down the building while I'm gone."
"Got it," Georgina watched him head to the door, "Oh, Chuck? Just one more quick question."
He clenched his jaw. Of course. "What is it, Georgina?"
"Did you know your dad has a file with your mother's name on it in his office?"
"My dad has a file on everyone. Was that your big secret?"
"Why would he keep it here? There's something in it he doesn't want you to see."
Chuck tried to will himself to walk out the door, ignore her. But what if she wasn't bluffing? If the file really existed, that was very strange.
"What were you doing in my father's files?" He stalled.
"I was showing him some of our work last week, and he had to step out to handle some kind of PR emergency. I think one of the secretaries tried to kill herself in the third floor bathroom or something."
"Oh, Jennifer. I told father that the crazy-hot scale does not apply to the truly emotionally unstable." Chuck shook his head.
"Right. Well, anyway, I was there by myself for a little while and I just started…looking around."
Chuck at least had the decency to look affronted.
"Please, Bass. You would have done the exact same thing. He had left a drawer open- something he must have been doing right as I came in. And I saw a file with your mother's name on it. There were two letters inside. One was to you. I couldn't open it, because he came back right after I saw the letters. I played it off and close the drawer, and he was none the wiser." Georgina looked ridiculously pleased with herself.
"So why are you telling me this?"
"Don't you want to know what the letter says? Don't you want to know what he's been hiding from you all these years? What your mother tried to tell you?"
Yes. Of course I want to know.
Chuck didn't say anything for a long moment.
"I mean, your dad already went home for the night. And you have keys to his office, right?"
"Yes." Chuck said so quietly she could barely hear him.
"So what's stopping you?" Georgina put her hand on his arm.
Chuck breathed in deeply, refusing to look at her. "Nothing. Let's go."
--
It took a couple of tries, but finally the date of Bart's wedding anniversary with Chuck's late mother opened the drawer. Georgina watched him thumb through the files quickly, almost overcome with excitement.
If this didn't ruin his trip, she didn't have a bigger gun to whip out. It had to work. A family scandal over a decade old? A surprise sibling? A shameful past as a hooker? This was a woman unburdening herself before death. The possibilities were endless.
Chuck finally located the file marked AVA BASS. Just as Georgina had said, there were two letters inside, one envelope reading BART and the other reading CHARLES in an oddly charming straightforward, no frills print. There were also pictures of Bart and Ava in the folder. His father looked so young and untroubled that Chuck hardly recognized him. His mother's slanting dark eyes and mass of dark hair were so reminiscent of her son that it was almost eerie looking at her.
He took the letter addressed to him, breaking the seal and taking out the aged piece of paper covered front and back in that same blocky print.
Chuck started to read, and Georgina literally had to press her lips together to stop from asking questions. His expression never changed as he read, and the only movement he made was to flip the letter over halfway through.
When he finished, he refolded it and put it back in the envelope, sliding the envelope into his suit jacket. He was staring so intently at the ground that Georgina couldn't tell if he was angry, happy, sad—anything.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.
"Chuck? What did she say?"
His eyes slowly slid up to hers, and Georgina saw that although his eyes were glassy, his expression was still unchanged.
"Oh, God…what is it?" She grabbed his arms, pulling him closer to her.
Chuck looked like he was going to lean into her embrace for a half-second, but then he looked her in the eyes, shaking his head, almost as if he had just remembered who she was.
"You were wrong." Chuck said, his voice choked.
"About what?"
"It wasn't some big dark secret. Not everyone is as evil and soulless as you'd like to think, Georgina," Chuck stepped away from her, holding up the letter, "My mother loved me. She loved my father. That's all she wanted me to know. No huge scandal. No blame or disappointment. Just love. The one thing you could never understand. You thought this was going to ruin everything for me. But my mother is proof that you never know how much time you have. And I'm not wasting another second of it here with you."
"Oh, spare me the Beatles pop psychology bullshit, Chuck!" Georgina said, panicking.
"Who would write you a letter, Georgina? Who would be desperate to tell you they loved you before they died?"
"Just forget it, Chuck. If I had known this was going to be so dull, I would never have told you!" Georgina said.
"You have no one. That's why you keep running back to Serena, running back to me—we were your last hope of fooling yourself into believing people care. Well, here's the cold truth. Until you make yourself someone worth caring about it, no one will."
"Shut up!" Georgina was about to cry.
"You've alienated everyone and lost everything- it's time for you to go. It's time to start over, if you're not too much of a coward."
"Oh, now you're the expert on feelings? I can't wait until Blair sees the real you and you ruin everything!" Georgina shot back, her voice shaking.
Chuck looked at her calmly, putting the letter back into his jacket and replacing the file in the drawer.
"I feel sorry for you, Georgina. I really do."
"I don't want your fucking pity!" She shrieked, tears slipping down her cheeks.
"Then stop being so pathetic." Chuck shrugged, turning and walking out of the office without another word.
--
Blair turned off her laptop, about to go get ready for bed.
"Miss Blair? Mr. Chuck to see you!" Dorota called up the stairs.
Blair stood up, looking at herself in the mirror. She was in an oversized gray knit sweater and tights, her hair in a ponytail and all her make-up had worn off. Yikes. Well, no time to look any better. Chuck would just have to deal with a little less fabulous version of Blair. She had plenty of sexy lingerie for Paris that would obliterate this image from his mind. She turned to face him as he opened the door.
"I wish you would have called, I could have-" She stopped dead when she saw his face as he closed the door behind him.
His eyes were red-rimmed, his hands shoved into his pockets, his whole body hunched. Blair crossed to him immediately, taking him in her arms. "Sweetie, what is it?"
To her surprise, he hugged her back just as tightly, his shoulders starting to shake with hard, shuddering spasms. He was crying, the sudden proximity of his mother—the pictures, her handwriting, her sense of humor, the fact that she loved him so unquestionably and had never even met him—making him feel like he had gotten her back and then lost her again, just as cruelly.
Blair didn't ask any more questions, just led him over to her bed and held him until he was exhausted and fell asleep, his head on her shoulder, one arm sprawled out carelessly across her stomach, the other holding her hand, their fingers tightly interlaced.
--
Well, well. The great Chuck Bass and the indomitable Queen B acting like…human beings, just as broken and frightened as the rest of us.
We (and okay, me) are guilty of always defining people with simple labels. Good. Bad. Nice. Evil. But maybe it's never that simple. Maybe all Georgina's been fighting for so hard is someone who really, truly cares. Maybe it's not that strange that Chuck needed Blair when he couldn't hold himself up any longer. Maybe our deliciously conniving B is capable of kindness none of us would have suspected. Maybe all we do need is love.
Or maybe I'm just a sap. You decide. Until next time…XOXO Gossip Girl.
A/N- Next time- the last chapter! I may do an epilogue too if ya'll want…I love reviews! Thanks for reading!