As soon as the sun began to rise, we ran back to the house. It was empty.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

Carlisle shrugged. "He'll be back."

"Is this your home?"

He nodded. I could still see the sun's reflection from his golden locks.

I walked up the stairs and back into the room. The door was open and the blanket was askew. I heard Carlisle come up the stairs. He stood at the door, watching me. I walked to the vanity and stared into the looking glass. I sucked in air.

I had been told that I was pretty and less often beautiful, but as I looked into the mirror I couldn't help myself. My skin was the color of the moon. I could no longer see the bruises – the bruises that had longed fatigued me and scarred my body. Blood from the hunting trip spotted the dress I wore. On my heart-shaped face was a pair of bright, crimson eyes. I frowned. I missed the old color.

Carlisle was at my side in half a second. He sensed my discomfort. I looked at him. His eyes were a bright butterscotch color. I wanted to touch his face but I didn't. I ran my hands through my caramel hair instead.

"When?" I asked.

"After a year, they will turn amber and then eventually, turn golden. Usually, it takes two weeks for the color to change to black – it means we're thirsty, but with you here, we'll need to hunt more often."

I bit my lip. Would I be a monster forever?

"What's wrong?"

I looked back at the mirror. Carlisle looked the same as he did ten years ago. We shared the same complexion. I didn't want to be a monster; I wanted my eyes to be like his.

"I want to know more, Carlisle," I said. "Please, tell me."

He sighed. I moved over to the bed and sat down, watching him, waiting. He sat next to me.

"If I tell you more, will you tell me how you managed to jump off a cliff?"

I hesitated, biting my lip. I nodded. "Yes."

"I want to be blunt with you, Esme. Don't say anything until I'm finished."

I nodded again.

"I am a vampire … as is Edward. And you – now – are one too…"

I listened to his story. My dead heart ached for him. He was born sometime in the 1640s. His father was a pastor, who persecuted witches, werewolves, and vampires. As his father aged, he eventually took his father's place. He discovered a coven of true vampires and set traps. He caught one but the vampire didn't run. "Perhaps he was too thirsty," Carlisle said. In turn, the vampire attacked him. He had been frozen in his twenty-three year old perfection for over three hundred years.

In the beginning, he hated what he had become but he eventually overcame his thirst in a more humane way by drinking animal blood instead of killing humans for theirs. Almost three centuries later, working as medical doctor, he was immune to human blood. He changed Edward in 1918 during the Spanish influenza epidemic in Chicago. I was the second person he changed.

"I thought maybe could atone for the sin I was by saving human life. I was compelled to save Edward and when I saw you in the hospital … Your heart was still beating. How could they think you were dead?" He traced my jaw line. "Beautiful…" Then he quickly pulled away, tucking his hand by his side. "But I remembered you and I knew what I had to do."

"You were working in the hospital all that time?"

He nodded.

"Does that mean you heard about…?" I couldn't bring myself to say it. My beautiful baby boy's face came to my head and I choked.

Carlisle nodded.

Then I nodded in sore agreement.

"And you, dear Esme? What could have possibly led you to jump from a cliff?" His voice was yearning as he changed the subject.

I told him in a voice too low for human ears but Carlisle caught every word. I pulled the faint memories from my mind. I told him of the time at the hospital when I broke my leg, seeing him for the first time. I told him how my parents wanted me to marry Charles Evenson, and how Charles abused me. I had to search inside my head; the only vivid memories were the pain of the transformation, and the constant burn in my throat…

"Every day, Carlisle. It was endless pain. Just as bruises began to heal, new ones would appear. He was drafted into the war and I was relieved when he went away. Relieved! My own husband could have possibly died and I was relieved. I was disgusted with myself. But he came back, and things never changed. I made plans to run away: to go west and become a school teacher like I always wanted.

"And then I found out I was with child. But I couldn't bring a child into my home – not with Charles. So I decided then I had to leave. There was no other option. I lived in Milwaukee for a few months until my father found out where I was. Then I moved to Ashland to live with a couple. I worked as a school teacher there. I pretended Charles died during the war or that he had died shortly afterwards. And then I had baby Nathan."

I paused, choking. As a vampire, I couldn't cry, but it felt like I couldn't breathe. If I was human, I would be crying. "He was so tiny, Carlisle. Red and wrinkly with watery gray eyes. He was beautiful and he was mine. But he died a few days later… A lung infection, the doctor said. I put all my hopes and dreams into little Nathan. I would be a good mother, maybe remarry, but no. There was nothing left for me, Carlisle. A few days after we buried him, I jumped."

"Suicide, Esme?"

It was a harsh word but I nodded. "Yes."

His hand stroked my face but he said nothing.

"Please, don't pity me, Carlisle. When I awoke from the flames of hell to see you, I knew things were all right. You are here now."

He chuckled. "I'm here now and forever, Esme."

I smiled weakly. It was true but my dead heart ached for my dead baby.

Slowly, he turned my head to meet his golden eyes. His face inched closer and closer to mine until our lips met. His lips were soft just like I had imagined and the way he smelled made me feel like liquid. He kissed my nose, my cheeks, and then my lips again. The thoughts of Nathan quickly disappeared. His hands moved to my hair, running his fingers through it, then to my neck. My throat itched violently and even amidst Carlisle's sweet lips on mine, I couldn't ignore the burn.

I pulled away. "Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"We should go hunting again."

—

It was aggravating, in a sense, to go hunting with Carlisle around. Although I wanted to be with him constantly, I wanted his hands in mine always; I wanted to taste his breath again; I wanted to feel his lips on mine. He was my drug. Nevertheless, hunting was inevitable. Carlisle was more civil than I. I told him I felt like a monster. He said it was because I was a newborn. I would be able to control my senses over time.

I followed the scent of another black bear and a pair of elk. The elk were less pleasing than the bear but I didn't object. The trees shaded our hunting area but sometimes, sun would seep through the tree leaves. After I had finished off a male elk, I turned to Carlisle to see him leaning against a tree in the shade. A portion of his hand gleamed in the sunlight. Astonished, I walked over to him.

He laughed. "The sun, Esme. It makes our skin glitter, in a sense."

"We can't go out during the day?"

"We can, yes, but not when the sun is out."

"Oh," I said. I loved the sun when I was human.

He kissed me, washing away my disappointment. "We shall manage."

"Do you have to go to work today?"

He shook his head. "If the weather permits, I plan to go into town."

"Can I—?"

Again, he shook his head. "It's too dangerous for you, Esme, to be around humans."

My shoulders slumped. "But—"

He pressed a soft finger to my lips. "Surely you can find something to do whilst I'm away."

I pursed my lips. Away from you? The thought was just as painful as the burn in my throat. A chuckle reverberated in Carlisle's throat.

"I'll leave now, Esme. The sooner, the better, hm?" He cupped his hands around my face and kissed me. How easy it was for him to make my dead heart feel as if it were beating again.

We took time as we raced back to the house. Clouds hid the sun by the time we walked through the door. Edward was sitting on a couch in the living area with a book open. He looked up the instant we walked in.

"Edward," Carlisle said.

He's so young, I thought.

"I apologize, Carlisle, for leaving earlier. It was selfish and rude."

Carlisle shook his head. "No, Edward. I know you have your reasons."

His amber eyes flickered to me and back to Carlisle. Although nothing was spoken I saw Carlisle nod his head with a grin across his face. Was I missing something?

"Esme," Carlisle cleared his throat. "I never had the chance to introduce you to Edward properly." He gestured toward Edward.

I smiled. Watching Edward, I depicted curiosity across his face. He walked to me, kissing both my cheeks with a smile. Again, if I could blush, it would have been at that moment.

"Edward, would you mind showing Esme around the house? I'm departing for the city in a few moments. I need to purchase some essentials," Carlisle informed.

Edward nodded, running a hand through his bronze hair. He then picked up his book and disappeared into another room.

I looked at Carlisle. "Is he upset?"

"No. Edward … is his own in many aspects, but he respects me and I can hardly ask for even that."

We spoke for a brief second before Edward reappeared. Carlisle glanced at Edward and smiled. "I'll be back as quick as I can." He kissed me again and hurried out the door.

I missed him already. How long would he be gone?

"He'll be back quicker than you think, Esme," Edward said. "Come now, I'll show you around."

I followed Edward throughout the house. It was bigger than I had anticipated, and already I could point out spots that needed retouching. The first floor consisted of Carlisle's office, the library, a living area with a fireplace, a kitchen, and a dining area. The table was decorated sparsely with pieces of china. The second floor consisted of two bathrooms, and three bedrooms. Edward's bedroom was across the hall from Carlisle's, both on the east side. A bathroom was across from Carlisle's room. The room I briefly stayed in was on the west wall with a bathroom of its own.

Beds, a dining table, the kitchen, and more were all props. Edward and Carlisle were playing pretend and I had to join in. Pretend. I had already faked so much with Charles, lying to my friends, but all that seemed distant. Things were different with Carlisle from the beginning.

The walls of the house were painted vanilla crème. Light mahogany wood decorated most of the house, making up much of the shelves, tables, desks, and chairs. I made a mental note to ask Carlisle if he could perhaps purchase a dark cherry wood instead. I also made a note to ask him if he ever had visitors, but my mental thought was soon answered.

"Rarely," Edward remarked. "Very often, Carlisle brings his colleagues from the hospital to view his library but other than those times, visitors are few."

Ah. "Is there anything else I should know, Edward?"

Edward pondered for a fourth of a second then shook his head. "I'm sure you would rather ask Carlisle."

"But if there's anything you want to say, I'm listening," I urged, ignoring the need to soothe the pain in my throat.

He sighed. "I'm not stopping you from hunting, Esme."

Hunting and the inevitable burn in my throat seemed to be my constant companions, but I didn't want to go. As much as I wanted to attempt to douse the raging fire in my throat, I wanted to wait for Carlisle. I wanted him to come with me.

"Carlisle will be home in two minutes," Edward said, answering another mental thought.

"Thank you, Edward," I said with a smile.

"It's nothing."

There was silence for two seconds before I drifted back upstairs. I decided to be daring and enter Carlisle's room. The first thing I noticed about the room was the smell. His scent reminded me of rain, of irises growing during spring, of sugary sweet candy. It was weird, thinking of the smell of someone. The last person I remember smelling with such clarity was Charles. Even with my new mind and senses, his smell reached beyond the pain of the transformation.

I still wasn't used to my senses: the clarity of my vision, the ability to run faster than anyone I'd ever grown up with, the gracefulness with which I moved, the texture of my skin, and the color of my eyes … The list seemed endless.

I ran my fingers over the royal blue blanket on Carlisle's bed. A mahogany dresser was in the corner, decorated sparsely with antiques from through the years. His closet was full of clothes, spanning many decades. I ran my fingers over a jade green sweater, breathing in his scent. The burning sensation in my throat rose again every time I breathed.

Then I felt the tension in the air change. I turned around to face Carlisle. He flashed a smile.

"Curious, Esme?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"Yes, I am."

His smile changed to a frown. His eyebrows furrowed. "What's the matter?"

"I wish the pain would go away, Carlisle," I confessed. "I can't bear the constant agony in my throat."

He sighed softly, breathing his amazing scent in my direction. "If I could take away such pain, Esme, I would. Unfortunately, it is a part of who we are and we can only appease the thirst rather than quench it completely."

I sighed too.

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Author's note: Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and favoring my story. It makes me smile.