Chapter Two: Diagnosis from a Caterpillar

"Who are you?"

"Carlisle?" Edward exclaimed as the smoked cleared away from the figure. There sitting on the mushroom was Edward's creator, only his body was elongated; he had four pairs of arms and he somewhat resembled a caterpillar. In each hand he held a hookah hose which he smoked between sentences.

"What do you want?" He demanded in a sleepy voice.

"I would like to know what you are doing here." Edward said as he tried to make sense of the strange situation.

"That's not important. I want to know what you are doing here." The Caterpillar said with a sweet and caring voice.

"I am looking for Bella."

"Well, she is not up here." His voice took on a haughty tone.

"I can see that."

"Then you should go and look for her." He was pleasant once again.

"I was hoping you could help me, but it appears that you need help yourself."

"What do you mean by that?" The Caterpillar snorted as he took a long drag from a hose.

Edward was not sure how to describe the curious attitude of the caterpillar. "You are acting sort of strange."

"Whatever do you mean?" He said with a smile.

"You seem to be," he paused, searching for the word, "bipolar."

"What?" The caterpillar exclaimed as he began to choke on the smoke, "There is no need for you to be so rude."

"I wasn't. I was just stating the obvious."

"You should learn to hold your tongue," he said as he puffed out another cloud of smoke.

"You are no help," Edward mumbled as he slumped down.

"I'm sorry. Let me see what I can do." The caterpillar took a puff from another one of his hoses. He closed his eyes and blew out a cloud of smoke. "Maybe you should try a piece of the mushroom."

"What?" Edward said looking into the cloud of smoke and as it cleared, he realized Carlisle had disappeared.

"Try a piece of the mushroom?" Edward said to himself. He dug his nails into the flesh of the mushroom and tore off a sizeable piece. "What ever could Carlisle mean?" He put the mushroom into his mouth and no sooner had he swallowed he felt himself grow again.

Edward jumped off the mushroom in fear of crushing it for at the rate he was growing the plant would not be able to bear his weight. He grew so tall so fast that with in a few seconds he was back to his normal height and the forest around him appeared to be nothing more than a patch of grass. To his left he spotted a red pathway leading up to a simple cottage in front of the woods.

Edward went up to the house and politely knocked on the door, surely someone inside could give him some answers. Alas, no one answered the door. He tried knocking harder, but there still was no answer. Edward closed his eyes and pressed his ear to the door – he could hear a baby crying. He decided to try the door knob.

"Excuse me," he said as the door pushed inwards, "I tried knocking but there was no answer."

The front hall was empty – except for a fine coat of flour coating the floor. The door at the end of the hall was open a crack and he could see clouds of flour puffing through the opening. The cries of the baby were clearly coming from in the flour room, so Edward decided to look in there first.

The door led into a rather old kitchen: one side of the room had a pot hanging over a fire and on the other side of the room was a woman. In the corner by the woman was a large bag of flour which the woman kicked as she rocked in her chair. In the woman's arms, Edward assumed, was the baby for the wailing was coming from that direction.

"Hush, little one," the woman cooed. She rocked the baby back and forth, trying to calm the baby down. Every time she rocked the baby, a huge puff of flour would cover the room aggravating the baby even more.

"Excuse me," Edward said from the door, "I believe the flour is aggravating the child."

"Pardon me?" The woman said turning around. She gave Edward a huge smile, "I didn't quite hear what you said." The woman sitting in the chair resembled his mother, Esme. Edward was sure it was her, even if he face was completely masked by the white powder.

Edward was taken aback, first Carlisle, now Esme. He tried to take glimpse of the child, but Esme held it firm to her bosom.

"Is there anything the matter?" She said getting up.

"I'm not sure anymore," Edward said looking around the room. He noticed a purple tail by the foot of the chair. As he went to investigate Esme blocked his path.

"You have to know if there is something wrong. If you don't know your own feelings then there really is nothing that you truly know. Is there?"

Edward was not sure how to respond. Then again, he wasn't sure of anything in this strange place.

"Duchess! Duchess!" A voice called from the hallway. "Duchess! The Queen requests a meeting with you immediately. Hurry or you are going to be late!"

The voice finally registered in Edward's brain, "Bella?" He called as he ran for the hallway, but there was no one there.

"Now if you'll excuse me, sir, I have a meeting with the Queen and I can not keep her waiting." The Duchess said apologetically as she placed the wailing baby on the floor.

"Aren't you going to take him with you?" Edward asked.

"Oh heavens no! The Queen does not like crying babies. She would surely have my head," said the Duchess as she glided out of the door.

Edward could not believe that Esme would abandon a child like that. As much as he wanted to find Bella, he could not leave the baby where it was. The wailing grew louder and louder until Edward picked the child up. He removed the cloth from the child's face but there was no child in the blankets - instead it was the mock Barbie he found under Bella's bed. He threw the doll against the wall in his frustration and closed his eyes; it seemed nothing made sense in this world.

When he opened his eyes again, there was a smiling cat perched on the chair in front of him. Only this was no ordinary cat, it was his sister Alice wearing a purple body suit complete with a tail and ears.

Edward stared at her waiting for something to happen, but the cat just grinned at him.

"You could at least tell me where to go," Edward said giving up his stance.

"Well, that depends on where you want to go," Alice said with a grin.

"I'm not sure. I just want to find Bella," Edward said pleading with the cat.

"Oh, I can help you find Bella," said she, her grin never faltering.

"Really, where?" Edward pressed on.

"You could go this way," She said pointing in one direction with her tail, "or that way," her tail pointed in the other direction. "It's really up to you."

Edward was getting annoyed by Alice's riddled speech. He was going to get some real answers. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her thoughts, only there were none. He tried concentrating harder. He never had trouble reading Alice's mind before, why now? "Why can't I read your mind?"

"Read my mind? That is ridiculous! Who ever heard of mind reading before?"

"Who ever heard of babies who turn into dolls," Edward mumbled.

"That is simple. The doll was always a baby to begin with." She said matter-of-factly.

"That makes no sense," Edward replied.

"Exactly." She grinned, folding her tail across her chest.

"Never mind. Where can I find Bella," Edward said getting back to the point.

"As I was saying, you can go this way or that way."

"Which way is this way and which way is that way?"

The cat rolled her eyes, "Do I need to spell out everything for you? Once you leave the house, go down the path until you reach a fork in the road. There you will see a street sign. One sign will point the direction to this way, and the other will point to that way."

"Which way should I take?" Edward asked. He felt as if this was going no where.

"That's your choice. This way leads toward that Mad Hatter, and that way leads towards the March Hare. Alright?" She said as she began to slowly fade away starting with her tail.

"How does this lead me to Bella?" Edward asked, but he received no answer just a grin floating in mid-air. Shortly afterward, the grin, too, faded away.