Just a brief note: There was a really good point about the names of Sarah's step-mother and of her friend, by FairiesMidwife. When I was searching for the name of her step-mother (good ol' google and wikipedia...), I found Irene, so I used that name. Naming her friend Karen was, of course, a rather stupid mistake on my part. I'm sorry for the confusion - I didn't realize it might be a problem, though I should have.
To prevent any confusion, I edited the first chapter(or at least it should/will be, as soon as I figure out how): her step-mother's name is Karen, and her friend previously named Karen is Katherine.
Again, I apologize for any confusion it may have caused, and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
The Chapters Of Life
Chapter Two: Once Upon A Dream
You were heaven-sent to me
Was it never meant to be?
Was it just a dream?
Could we begin again -
Once upon a dream…
Once Upon A Dream (Jekyll & Hyde)
You know who I am. On your eighteenth birthday, the day you've hopefully finished this book, call my name.
If you wish to.
Sarah read the words again, more slowly, as the sound of the clock died away.
Well, it was her eighteenth birthday. And she'd finished the book. And she was pretty darn sure who wrote those words – though she could hardly even say the name in her head, the coward that she was.
Coward… Was that what she was? Truly? Sarah Williams?
She let the book fall to the carpet. Her eyes were focused on the open window. Her feet took a couple of uncertain steps back. Her mouth opened a bit, moving ever so slightly, and let out a sigh that might or might not have been a name.
Jareth…
If she stopped herself now – if she just went to her bed right now and slept, would everything be over in the morning? If she rejected his plea once more, would she be allowed to live a normal life? She somehow doubted it, seeing as how her earlier rejection appeared not to have stopped him. Yet did that mean he could be planning revenge, and somehow, by calling him now, she was falling into his trap?
So many thoughts twirled in her head. She shivered. Another choice that she had to make. She did not know what she wanted, what her wish was.
What her wish was…
Her eyes fell on the words on the book lying on the ground.
If you wish to.
She let out a short laugh. Normality be damned – conformity be damned. What Sarah Williams wanted was magic, the kind that could enchant you, kill you, take your boredom and redundancy away.
What she wanted was to see the man who had granted her wish years ago, who represented everything forbidden and exotic: magic that was out of control, impossible wishes that could come true, emotions she was too young to yet truly feel. She wanted to see the goblin king who could kill her and who had very much tried to kill her, the secret admirer who had sent her gifts, the man who was now waiting for her.
"Jareth." A whisper. "Jareth." Feet stumbling backwards. "Jareth!" she cried, her eyes closing in anticipation, her entire body shrinking away from the open window.
A strong wind swept into the room through the window. It hit her hard, making her coil backwards. She fought to keep her balance, a surprised gasp escaping from her mouth at the sudden force. The curtains flapped frantically, beating against the walls.
Suddenly, as quickly as it had come, the wind calmed. Sarah fell to her knees. There was nothing in front of her. Breathing harshly, Sarah furiously shook her head, trying to calm her breathing, her heartbeat, the tears beginning to sting in her eyes, the storm of disappointment and disbelief raging inside her –
"Well. I could have sworn I heard someone say my name."
Sarah's head jerked up.
A pair of mismatched eyes greeted her. The shaggy blonde hair was as unruly as ever. The smirk was as arrogant as ever, though there was a strange gentleness to it.
"Jareth." The name escaped from her lips.
Now there was laughter in his face as he took a casual step forwards, tilting his head to the side. "I'm very glad you haven't forgotten my name… Sarah."
Sarah struggled to her feet, quite put out that she had been on her knees when he appeared. A kind of irrational anger seemed to be growing inside her, and she tried to quell it. After all, she wasn't a child of fifteen, prone to dramatic outbursts, any more, was she?
Instead, composing herself, she scooped to pick up the book as she stood. She turned it over and over in her hand, averting her eyes, wondering just what she could say to this fey standing in front of her.
Finally she looked up, then held the book out in one hand. "Why?" she asked simply. She let him figure the question out himself.
His exotic eyes flickered to the book once before returning to her. His expression had lost some of its previous mirth, though he had a smile still plastered on his face. "Why what?" he asked silkily, and before she could throw the book at his head, being mature and grown up be damned, he added, "Or rather, if you were asking me why I had given you that book…Why not?" his eyes danced for a second with amusement.
He leaned on the window sill, looking relaxed, but for the uncertainty in his eyes that watched her too closely. He still made an attempt to appear as the casual and confident goblin king. "It was your seventeenth birthday, after all, wasn't it?"
"Why this?" Sarah asked, quietly, refusing to let him distract her by getting her annoyed. It might have worked before, but no more.
There was a pause. The enigmatic eyes finally looked away from her, flitting across the room, avoiding her. Instead of being impatient, however, Sarah waited calmly for his answer – though if he said "Why not" again in that arrogant tone of his, she was sure the book, along with many other objects, wouldend up attacking his rugged hair.
Thankfully, he did not. His answer, when it came, was soft, quieter than she could ever have imagine coming from his full, confident lips, and more uncertain that she could ever have imagined the goblin king to be.
"Because I wanted you to know," Jareth said, his eyes averted, staring into the distance, and his body half turned away from her, almost dismissively.
The tension between them was now almost tangible; Sarah could taste it in her mouth, could breathe in its scent, could feel every trace of it across every inch of her skin. The room seemed to spin; her mouth was dry.
"Know… what?"
The goblin king finally returned his gaze to her. This time, it was not intense nor enigmatic, but rather mocking. "Do you always ask what a book was about after finishing it, Sarah?"
What the book was about… Confessions of love that wasn't love, declarations of indifference that did not exist, acts of hatred that had died out…
Sarah's hands tightened on the book. "Do you always believe everything you read, Jareth?" Sarah returned, just as mockingly.
Jareth winced, both at her words and at the sound of his name, this time so full of venom. He pushed himself up from the window sill and stalked towards her, stopping when she took a step back. "So you don't believe what you read in that book is true?" He forced his tone light.
She opened her mouth, then closed it. She glanced down at the book. She looked up. "Should I?" she asked, then added, in a much softer tone, "Can I?"
He laughed softly. "We meet after two years, and all we seem to be saying are questions," he said, almost ruefully.
"I…" Sarah's uncertainty showed through her expression for a moment. "A lot of loose ties and questions were left," she finally said.
"I see." His face was unreadable.
She hesitated for a moment. Then she asked, as quietly as she could, trying hard not to make the question offensive, "Why are you here? Why… today?"
"Questions again," Jareth observed. He sighed. "I'm here because you called me, Sarah. It was your wish."
"You told me in the book to call you – "
"If you wished to. Evidently, you wished to," Jareth interrupted her.
Sarah bit her lips. "Is everything about you involved with my wishes?" she asked, sounding far more harsher than she felt.
The goblin king blinked.
She stepped forwards, hardly knowing what her body was doing. "You said once that everything you'd done, you'd done for me," she said, knowing that she was treading dangerous grounds, bringing up the painful memory. Indeed, she could see the instant stiffening of the goblin king's body.
Regardless of the danger, she went on recklessly, "Now you say that you are here because I wished it. Is there anything you do, related to me, that does not directly stem from any one of my damned wishes – "
As quickly as lightning, the goblin king was in front of her, grabbing her wrist, stopping her tirade. His narrowed eyes looked down at her, the expression in them hard. "You have no idea what you're talking about – "
"So tell me," Sarah said.
Jareth let out a deep breath, closing his eyes before opening them slowly. The air travelled down to her face, slightly ruffling her hair back, caressing her skin.
Slowly, but steadily, Sarah felt the tension leave him, as was the anger in her own body.
Finally calmed down enough, though he did not let go of her arm, Jareth said, "It's simpler than you think. I can't appear before a child in this form unless wished to be, and a child under the age of eighteen cannot wish that for him or herself. Only the human in charge of the child can wish my presence. If you had wished me to appear before you before today, I couldn't have appeared anyways, because you were underage according to the agreement between the fey and the humans, set centuries ago."
Sarah nodded slowly. As she did so, she attempted to step back from him, to free her arm.
He did not let her.
She stopped pulling away, afraid to start a physical war of pulling with him, though her heartbeat was beginning to beat faster. "But that," she whispered, "still doesn't explain why."
His eyes were dark; they almost appeared the same colour. "I think you know why." He drew back slightly. "At least, I hope you know why," he said wryly.
She watched him, confusion growing. "What?" she asked, her eyes puzzled, her head giving a small shake involuntarily.
Jareth leaned down closer to her face. "The reason depends entirely on you. I'll be whatever you need me to be," he said. Sarah could hardly breathe from the thickening air between what little space there was left between them. "There are things I cannot be, things I cannot do, but whatever your wishes, I'll try to meet them." He offered her a tiny smile, looking tired, almost appearing as though forced to put on a brave front.
There was a lump in her throat. This… this was not the goblin king she knew. This did not sound like the author of the book that had just fallen out of her hands, again. This was not Jareth.
Was this the man she wanted to see? Was the old Jareth the way he was only because her fifteen-year-old self had wished it – because she had wanted a dashing villain?
Was this new Jareth acting this way only because now she had grown up, had matured, and wanted different things? Because she wanted no longer an interesting villain, but an exotic fey king to court her in such a mesmerizing way? Was that what she wanted?
"Who are you?" Sarah asked, trying not to choke on tears that had suddenly risen. She did not even know what she was crying about. "Are you… are you even real?"
In one swift motion, Jareth dropped her arm and took several steps backwards. He looked as if he had been struck across the face. "What are you asking?" His face was pale. "Whether or not everything I've confessed to you in that book was real? Are you afraid that I'm only saying these things just because that's what you want me to say? Are you afraid I don't care about you at all? Is that what you're afraid of, Sarah?"
"How do I know?" A numbing cold began to spread from where his hand had been grabbing her wrist, spreading to her whole body. "Maybe there's a real you – maybe there isn't – but how do I know, when I know that the Jareth I see will always be dependent on what I want to see?"
A strange smile flitted across his face. Upon seeing it, Sarah shivered. Though there was cynical amusement creeping into his expression, there was also the strangest feeling… like pain… or longing.
"You can't know," he said, flashing a smile. "Maybe if what you really, really wanted was to know the real me, as you put it - because, of coursewhat I am right now couldn't possibly be real - you could know. But you can't, can you?"
Sarah barely stopped herself from collapsing. She gritted her teeth and held herself upright, refusing to give into the fatigue, both mental and physical, that she was feeling. "I'm not sure I want to know anything," she said. "Is there a you worth knowing?"
As soon as she said them, she wanted to run as far away from the fey standing in front her.
The goblin king merely quirked an eyebrow, but when he spoke, his tone was icy. "Quite greedy, aren't we? Is having your wishes fulfilled not good enough? Seeing your dream come true too boring for you?"
"I want to know the truth," Sarah flared up. "I don't want to give up the truth for fake wishes. Maybe you meant what you said," she said, more quietly, thinking of the book. "I want to believe that you did. But more than believing, I want to know, for sure, that you meant them."
The goblin king cocked his head. The vibrant, mismatched colours were back in his eyes. "So you do want to know," he said.
Sarah opened her mouth, then closed it, her own words echoing in her mind.I'm not sure I want to know anything… More than believing, I want to know.
The silence seemed to stretch out.
"Yes," Sarah finally said. "I do want to know." I want to know who you are, she added silently, not knowing herself if it was curiosity, or…
The goblin king smiled crookedly. "Oh dear," he said. "I suppose that means I'll have to stick around long enough for you to figure it out and clear your little mind."
Sarah blinked.
A low chuckle escaped from the goblin king, though there was still a strange look in his eyes. "And so it begins. Best of luck to you, Sarah, in figuring out the… truth." Of who I am.
He gave an exaggerated bow to her, before turning around and walking to the window. Before he left, he could not resist glancing back.
She was still staring after him, her mouth slightly open, still confused, but a look of understanding beginning to show.
Jareth grinned with genuine amusement this time. Then, seeming to remember something, his lips thinned, and he turned abruptly before disppearing out the window.
Sarah finally collapsed to the floor, shaking. Her mind tried and failed to grasp just what had happened.
But one thing she was quite sure of – another game of riddles and trickery had begun. There wasn't a labyrinth she had to go through this time, but she somehow felt that this maze of words and feelings would prove to be harder than the one she had gone through as a child.
At least the stakes weren't so high this time, she tried to convince herself as she dragged herself to bed. Her baby brother wasn't involved. Nobody had yet to be kidnapped. A huge, revolving machine wasn't going to come after her – as far as she knew. In fact, there seemed to be little that was being risked, except for maybe curiosity, state of mind, and, well, feelings.
So why did she suddenly feel as if everything was at stake?
Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time! Reviews for this chapter are definitely appreciated!