The Chapters of Life

Chapter Three: Love Kills

Love kills - drills you through the heart…

Love kills - scars you from the start

It's just a living past time, ruling your heartline

Stay for a lifetime

Won't let you go

'Cause love won't leave you alone.

Queen, Love Kills.

"Then forget the baby."

If those words had not been said… if the price of achieving the crystal, the dreams, her dreams, had not been specified before she rejected the crystal and chose to save her baby brother… if she had not abandoned the sight of her dreams for her brother… would things have turned out differently?

The crystal is no mere thing. It enchants you, draws you in as surely as honey draws bees. Once you catch a sight of what it shows, you cannot look away. You could sit there for hours, days, even weeks, you could even forget to eat and drink. You'll be captured by the lure of your deepest dreams, and you'll be gazing hungrily at the brilliant images it offers, feeling as though you truly were living those dreams, when in reality you are just wasting away slowly.

It'll hold you captive. Nothing else can ever offer you joy and happiness any more, and you'll be spending every minute away craving the sights that it offers.

It'll show the sight of everything that you love, everything that you wish always could come true. It'll make you happy, serene, calm. It'll allow you to escape from the harsh reality for just a little while… and a little bit while longer…

It'll kill you, in the end.

And if she had been manipulated right, she would have touched the crystal, and become addicted to it as surely as any human drug addict. And she would never have rivaled me in my own kingdom.

So why didn't I? Why didn't I lie, cheat, deceive, all the things goblins do daily, to ensure my own safety? Why didn't I force her to take the crystal? Why did I give her a choice?

Why did I give her the chance to destroy my world?

J Y S

Sarah woke from her dreams with a start.

For a moment, in the dim morning light that was filtering through the curtains, she had no idea why her eyes were wet with tears, why her insides started fluttering instantly, as if there was danger looming.

Then she glanced down and saw a worn out, olive green leather-bound book on her bed covers, open to the first chapter, and everything crashed down on her.

With shaking hands, Sarah snatched the book up, her eyes involuntarily falling on the first few words.

"Then forget the baby."

She sent the book crashing to the floor. She remembered the words well – both from reading that chapter the very day she had begun to read the damned book, and from hearing them one rainy night she had been an hour late getting home…

Her mouth thinning, she roughly got out of bed, nearly falling on her face in her haste to get out. As she steadied herself by leaning on the bedside table, however, she froze.

There was something on the table.

She recoiled, staring at the elegant box and the little note that was on it. For long seconds, all she could do was stare helplessly at it.

"No." A lump was in her throat. She could feel the hysteria building up inside her. She needed to run, run, away from here, to anywhere, just away – but all she could do was stare at the elegant red box, and the note with a scribble on it.

A bird's shriek rang from outside. Sarah jerked her head towards the window. Then, cursing, she backed away a few steps before reaching the door in long steps.

She fled.

J Y S

"Morning, Sarah." Karen greeted her absent-mindedly as she walked into the kitchen, too preoccupied with giving Toby breakfast.

If she had been allowed to pay just a little bit more attention to her step-daughter, Karen might have noticed that something was wrong. A baby, however, is a very demanding creature, and it was all Karen could do to point Sarah towards her seat, where a plate with everyday breakfast was laid out.

"Thanks, Karen." Used to the chaos that was their morning every day, Sarah simply sat and began to shove food into her mouth, ignoring her still fluttering heartbeat.

Karen stole a glance at Sarah. The teenager seemed normal, eating her breakfast and watching television as usual. She sighed. "Sarah –"

She was immediately interrupted by the huge crash of a bowl falling to the floor and shattering.

Sarah, who had been turning to face her step-mother, winced and hurriedly got up. "Oh, no, Toby, this is your third time this week breaking your bowl!"

"Why can't you just eat your breakfast without so much fuss –" Karen's face was turning pinker by the minute, and Sarah was honestly afraid she was about to start crying at any point.

"Karen, look, why don't you sit down and get Toby away from here, I'll clean up the mess." Sarah was already moving to get a mop.

Karen's eyes were suspiciously shiny as she grabbed Sarah's arm. "No, Sarah, you can't do that – it's already so unfair for you, today being your eighteenth birthday and not even having a –"

"Waaaaaaah!"

"Toby,now is not the time –"

"Oh, god, Karen, he's bleeding!" Sarah shrieked.

In less than a second, Karen had snatched Toby up from the chair and was holding him in her arms, her face paler than Sarah had ever seen her. "Oh, no, no, my poor baby, a shard from the broken bowl must have cut you – Sarah, could you get – oh, no, wait, I can't just ask you to – it's your birthday –"

And then Karen burst into tears, leaving Sarah as the only sane human left in a kitchen with a broken bowl, a crying baby, and a crying mother.

As Sarah led Karen and Toby to sit at the couch so she could go get a band aid for Toby, she levelled a dark look outside the window. If this was somebody's idea of a joke, she was going to catch that barn owl and roast it herself.

J Y S

"Pregnant."

Sarah bolted up. "No."

Francine shrugged. "Sounds like the only logical answer, doesn't it? A mother who's had three years of experience wouldn't just lose control and cry like that, would she?"

"Oh, my god." Sarah buried her head into her arms on the desk once more. "You're right."

"Well, at least that explains why you ran into class thirty seconds before the bell half-dressed and with still wet hair," said Katherine, who had been in her first class and had thus noticed the unintentional comedy show Sarah had performed that morning.

"Ha-ha," Sarah muttered, her face still buried.

Katherine and Francine glanced at each other. Then Katherine shook her head. "Look, Sarah, cheer up. It's your eighteenth birthday. We'll be out of school in a couple of months. Besides, think of the gifts you'll start to receive soon!"

Sarah felt her stomach drop. In all the confusion in the morning, she had nearly forgotten…

The bell jarred her out of apprehension. Her heartbeat still beating erratically – she wondered if it would ever get stable once more – she forced herself to her feet and walked to her next class with her friends.

Just get through the day, she silently told herself. Just remember to breathe.

Just survive, somehow.

A hand reached for her, making her jump and very nearly scream. The owner grabbed her arm, looking worried. "Sarah? Are you all right?"

Sarah snapped into focus. "Thomas, hi." She smiled at the boy who had now joined the group and was walking with her. "Yes, I'm fine – just – tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." Too busy discussing philosophy with a goblin king.

The dark-haired boy made a sympathetic 'mhmmm'. "Well, cheer up – it's your birthday, right? What are you planning on doing?"

"Let's try something new this year," Katherine joined the conversation. "We've always done the same thing over and over again – this year should be more exciting."

Sarah felt the blood drain ever so slightly from her face. "I… Actually, let's just keep to our tradition. This being our year before we all graduate and everything, I just want to have one last chance at reliving the tradition, you know?" She stopped herself.

Normal and average. Was that all she strove for, nowadays? Was that how she had been, all these years, since J… since the Labyrinth? Always finding comfort in the norm, avoiding changes… hiding in the corner of her life, refusing to go out? Because it was the easy thing to do?

"We could do that, too." Seeing her friend's reluctance to her plan, Katherine agreed quickly. She watched Sarah closely as she answered one of Thomas' insipid questions; there was something queer about her today, Katherine knew. Besides from being exhausted and grumpier than usual, the girl was… different.

It was strange, but Katherine almost got the feeling that Sarah was running in a maze, her head always turning, turning to find another turn or twist, her feet running as fast as they could, away from a presence that was haunting her, chasing her. There was a kind of desperation about her, even though all she was doing was walking in the hallway of her school with her friends.

Sarah looked askance at the window in the wall as they passed it, and moved subtly away from it. She knew she wasn't being haunted or chased by a presence – it was already there, breathing the same air as she was, brushing against her skin with every move she made.

She was making the appropriate nods and agreeing sounds to whatever obscure story Thomas was telling beside her, but she was not paying attention to what he was really saying. She had only recently met Thomas, when they were paired up for a project, but already she was used to the boy's constant talking. He was the kind of person who talked for the sake of talking; he didn't need to be listened to all the time, so long as the listener at least gave a pretense of listening, as Sarah had been doing.

So when Thomas suddenly broke off in the middle and hollered something at a boy who was leaning casually against their classroom door, which was not open yet, she jumped yet again.

"You're so jumpy today," Thomas said, frowning at her.

Sarah took the next couple of seconds in reaching their closed classroom door to compose herself. "Really bad morning," she explained as calmly as she could.

"I'll bet," the boy who had already been there spoke suddenly from behind her. "You looked quite harried this morning, in the world history class."

Sarah pivoted on the spot to see who had spoken, and nearly collided into him.

His eyes danced behind the glasses. "Hello, Sarah, and happy birthday," he said, offering a smile and a hand to show that he did not mean to offend her with his previous remark.

"Oh, hi," Sarah said, disconcerted, shaking his hand. He acted like he knew her well, and if he was in her class, she supposed he did know her. She just couldn't remember seeing him in class or anywhere.

Thomas had felt her confusion. Suspecting she needed support, he sidled a bit closer to her. "This is Keith – I think he's in most of your classes, aren't you, Keith?"

The blond boy nodded easily. "That's right. Every class except one, actually, I believe."

"Oh." Sarah gave a sheepish smile.

"Don't feel so stupid, Sarah," Thomas said, laughing a little. "Keith isn't in class most days, in any case, so you probably haven't had the chance to see him that often."

"True," Keith concurred. He grinned at Sarah. "So if you don't remember me, I promise I won't be heartbroken."

Sarah found herself smiling back more easily at him, but there was a nagging feeling at the back of her mind. "But I do feel like I should know you," she said, slowly.

Keith looked at her with interest. "Well, maybe you remember more than you think," he offered.

She opened her mouth, despite not knowing what to say, but then their teacher arrived, so she merely nodded once before sitting down at her usual seat with Katherine and Francine.

As the lecture began, Sarah glanced out the window. A white feather was hanging in the air just outside, tantalizing, slipping just out of view before being lifted by the wind once more, again and again, almost unnaturally.

Sarah turned back to the teacher, her face expressionless. Sometimes, itwasn't easier to cling to normalcy; it was just the safer thing to do.

Taking a pencil out to take notes, Sarah realized that Keith was watching her from across the room, not taking his eyes off her. She suppressed a sigh and purposefully did not look his way. Other times, normal, teenaged, and average life wasn't safe either.

It was just that after rejecting magic for normalcy, there was nothing else to turn to.

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