DISCLAIMER: THEY ARE SOOOO HAPPY I DON'T WRITE FOR THEM!

CHAPTER 13 -- TOO HARD TO EXPLAIN! ( IT'S AFTER 1 AM ... SO IF THIS CHAPPY ISN'T CLEAR , I'M REALLY "SLEEP WRITING!")

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The Cat, The Bag and Who's Gay?

Detective Robert Goren left 1 PP in a huff. The Major Case Squad now thought that Bobby was batting for the other team or was it the same team? Whatever, anyway, not that he wasn't tolerant to the diversity of others, it just wasn't his "diversity" but it was his own damn fault and he knew it. He was on his way to see Jake Addleson on the pretence that he was looking for a new job. He would use the same story that he used with his wife Maria just in case she called him.

Councilman Addleson's Office

Jake was waiting for Bobby so when he arrived, his secretary ushered him right in.

"Bobby, It's great to see you, you're looking well."

"Typical politician, lying through your teeth! It's great to see you as well Jake."

The two men exchange a friendly handshake and Jake puts his hand on the back of Bobby's neck and gives him a shake. Then he runs that same hand down Bobby's arm.

"Sit, sit. Adele is getting us some coffee … just cream … right?"

"Yes, just cream. Umm, I wanted to thank you for the card, the sympathy card when my brother died. That was very thoughtful, thank you … the words were …ah … very beautiful."

"I think about you often Bobby, all alone, no wife, no children, you must feel … I don't know … lonely?" Jake moves closer to Bobby and places his hand on Bobby's thigh. Bobby feels like he's entered the twilight zone.

Adele walks in with the coffees and Jake backs off immediately. Talk about saved by the bell. Goren stands and starts looking around Jake's office, pulling things off shelves, examining his book collection and admiring his small art collection.

"You have quite an eclectic collection of things in your office. Beautiful works of art, classic music and punk rock. Classic American Literature and Harry Potter?"

"Some of the kids that we helped, stop by on occasion to say thanks and hello. I like them to feel welcome. What sort of things do you like Robert? I'll add them to my collection."

Goren nervously laughs. "Come on Jake, it's Bobby."

"Okay Bobby. I understand that you and your little sidekick Eames had a falling out, you may want to spend a little more time around here. So? Tell me, what does Robert Goren like?"

"Ah … women … lots of women! Eames couldn't take me flirting on the job constantly. Pissed her off! Guess I should have been flirting with her but she's like one of the guys, ya know. I like um tall … legs that can wrap around a guy. Ya know what I mean Jake?"

This came spewing out … nervous and uptight about what had transpired earlier at 1 PP and now he could have sworn that Jake was coming on to him … he was in the twilight zone!

Jake sat back in his chair giving some thought to Goren's semi-outburst.

"Women … you like women?"

"Ah, yeah. They call me "Love um and leave um Goren," at 1PP."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right person."

He had and wished he was with her right now. His manhood was being tested. Not really, he knows who he is and what he likes but it seems to him that everyone else seems to think otherwise. Why was it so easy for people to believe that he was gay? Wasn't he too tall? He shakes that stupid thought out of his head but another one enters it. It starts with bar ends with Lewis and hopping is in the middle.

Bobby leaves Addleson's office and calls his pal Lewis. He just needs to know if he can still pick up chicks at a bar like he used to. It was never a problem before … he needed to know if the mojo was still there. Lewis is always up for bar hopping even though they usually end up at Mazy's and stay till' closing.

His next stop before his big evening out was Dr. Olivet's office. Just what he needed in his agitated state of mind. Standing out side of her door, he tried to calm his breathing and cool his jets.

"Detective Goren, I'm very happy that you kept your appointment today."

"That makes one of us Dr. Olivet."

"Is there something wrong today, Detective?"

"No, I'm fine … working a case. I could be doing something else … no offence to you."

"I know you find these sessions beneath you, Bobby … may I call you Bobby?"

"No … I don't find these sessions beneath me … I mean. Ah … do you feel it's professional of you to call me Bobby?"

"That's a good question, what do you think?"

"I think, that … I'm going to leave. Have a good day … Liz."

He just wasn't in the mood for games even though he was about to play one with Eames. The relationship game.

He went home to decompress. He sent Eames an e-mail about his adventurous day. Maria was all over him, Jake was all over him. His initial thoughts are that Jake is in the closet, Maria wanted a baby and attention … the baby could be Jack's but how many men has she been with? Jake's office creeped him out. Was he having relationships with any of the kids? He didn't know. He came on to him and he needed to get out of there. Last but not least, he was hanging out with Lewis and he would catch up with her in a day or two. That last line is what got Alex … a day or two. Since their initial coupling, they hadn't spent a night apart, now he would "catch up with her in a day or two?" She tried his cell and home phone and they both went to voice mail. Then she tried to e-mail him and she received an automated e-mail reply saying he was out for a day or two. She was seeing red.

Bobby was catching up on some much needed sleep when he heard pounding on his door. He wanted to ignore it but the pounding wouldn't stop. He got out of bed and looked through his peep hole … Big Jim. Excellent, I'll kill him and dispose of the body with lye, damn … I don't have any lye. He opens the door.

"Hi you handsome hunk of a detective you."

"Shut the fuck up Jim. What do you want now?"

"You big boy."

Captain Ross was let in by the doorman and sent up unannounced … of course. He stops dead in his tracks. There's Bobby in his boxers and Big Jim putting on a show. Bobby doesn't see Ross but Jim does.

"Jim, it's over … you can stop now."

"How can you tell my heart to stop beating? Without you, he starts to 'cry,' It doesn't beat!"

"Fuck off Jim … go back to your wife and leave me alone! It's over!"

Ross gasps.

"Fine, but she doesn't do for me what you did."

Bobby is left scratching his head but only for a second. He shuts his door and moments later he hears a knock. Now he's really pissed. He swings the door open and before he notices who it is he starts yelling.

"You fuckin ass… Oh sorry Captain … I thought you were someone else."

"Yeah, I gathered that. May I come in?"

"Sure."

Bobby turns his back to the Captain and rolls his eyes. He excuses himself to put some clothes on and calls Jim from his bedroom to threaten his life but Jim is too busy laughing to hear the threat.

"So Captain, what can I do for you?"

"Two things … Jack Eames … anything?"

"I went to see Maria today … she is your typical neglected politician's wife, she's just craving attention, she even came on to me, her husbands friend. Then I went to see Jake. There is something not right going on with him … not sure yet. He has a lot of things in his office not suited for a grown man … more geared towards teenagers. He didn't want to tell Ross that Jake came on to him as well. There's more to dig in to. You said two things."

"Dr. Olivet called … she said that you went to see her but left. That's all that she can tell me Bobby. Are you okay? … You know, you can talk to me, I don't bite. I'm concerned about you."

Bobby is taken aback by two things … the use of his first name and that the Captain is concerned … since when?

"I'm fine Sir, I just wasn't in the mood to be psychoanalyzed today."

Bobby's phone rings and he lets the answering machine pick up … it's Lewis.

"Hey Bobby … what time are we going to commence with picking up chicks tonight … I'm sure you're little rusty … chicks dig cops … you'll be a shoe in, especially with those size 13's you motha fucka. Call me."

"Going a different way tonight Goren?"

"Sir?"

"What about Jim?"

"He can't come … he's married. His wife will kick his ass."

"No … I mean isn't he and … well you and he … never mind. Have fun tonight. It's probably what the Doctor ordered."

"Oh yeah it is … a few beers a few women … that's my kind of Doctor."

Ross is very confused … in the three years that he has known Goren, he never heard of him dating either way. He figured he had finally met his significant other … Big Jim. Now he saw this fight at the door, Goren in his boxers, telling him to go back to his wife and yet another guy on the phone ready to go pick up chicks. Was Goren leading a double life? Oh if he only knew and if Alex finds out, Bobby will be singing soprano.

Mazy's bar and Grill - SoHo

It was time to find out if Bobby still had his mojo. Would his relationship with Alex survive his little experiment. In walks test subject number one making a beeline for Bobby. "Daddy long legs" flips her long blonde hair and leans her D-cups on his arm and offers to buy him a drink. Her friend spies Lewis and they all get a table and start drinking, before long she's on his lap playing with his hair. Mojo intact.

They start making out and she wants to go out back in the alley, he obliges. They get outside and Jake Addleson is there in a Limo.

"Hi Bobby, do you like my gift? Legs that can wrap around a guy … that's what you said … right?"

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I WAS HOPING TO MAKE YOU LAUGH BUT GRAB YOUR INTEREST AS WELL. PLEASE R AND R WHICH I DON'T SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO DO ... NOW 1:57 AM BUT SERIOUSLY ... PLEASE REVIEW ... I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHTS! THANKS FOR READING;) ... Judeey