The Chapters of Life

Chapter Five: Into the West

Soon you will see

All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms

You're only sleeping…

Annie Lennox, Into the West

No soon had Sarah's hand touched his than she heard the sound of glass shattering.

The jarring sound was like a pierce through her body. Feeling as though a part of her was shattering along with the glass, she jerked back, needing to free her arm, to get out of the sickeningly sweet air, to stop suffocating… to…

The blond boy gripped her hands harder, lowering his head, looking at Sarah with those enigmatic eyes almost imploringly. "Sarah-"

She tried to say no, to tell him to stop just for a minute, that she couldn't, but then she felt the world around them shatter. Everything swirled, her vision becoming foggy, things going topsy turvy, a strong wind blowing from every direction. A gasp escaped from her lips as she felt her body beginning to fall, pulled down past where the floor had just been, and then she was being pulled into every direction, as if gravity was coming from everywhere.

And all throughout the confusion, through the furniture flying and people screaming and the fog thickening second by second, she felt his hands desperately clinging to her hands, his voice begging her to hang on.

But her body was being yanked in all sorts of directions, and she barely even noticed the feel of his hands gripping hers, could barely even see his mouth move frantically. Words were coming to her, a voice calling out to her, but they didn't belong in the realm she was in. They weren't from the familiar stranger whose hand was even now slipping away helplessly, whose voice was now all but silent.

Sarah…

The sight swirled away before her, and she felt herself pulled down, down past the shattered parts of the world she had just been in, and it was all she could do to hang on to the voice, who was speaking her name over and over again…

"Sarah!Sarah!"

Here I am, she wanted to shout. Help me up, or help me down, whichever way the ground is. Here I am. Help me find the way.

Here I am – help me.

"Sarah."

Here I am…

"Open your eyes, Sarah."

And then she wasn't there anymore.

"Sarah. Sarah! Wake up."

"I'm awake," Sarah murmured, her eyes closing again as she was shaken frantically.

The shaking stopped. "Open your eyes, then," the owner of the hands that held fast to her own said testily, and Sarah obediently opened them again, feeling dizzy from waking up so abruptly and from being shaken so much.

For a moment, she couldn't focus. Then she saw the face, looking torn and pale, leaning down at her; the mismatched eyes staring at her as if she had just sprouted wings; and the untamed blond hair that was even wilder than usual, sticking in every direction as if a strong wind had blown it in every direction.

The sight of his face, along with his hands that were holding to hers tightly, was so similar to that from the dream, Sarah's eyes widened momentarily and she very nearly yanked away her hands as hard as she could.

As if recognizing the impulse in her, he dropped her hands. "You were dreaming," he said flatly, his expression slowly returning to usual, no longer so panicked.

She had been dreaming?

Sarah blinked, her mind working furiously. Suddenly, it clicked. "Jareth," she breathed, realizing that this was not the phantom from her dreams. It occurred to her a second later that she probably had no reason to prefer this to the phantom, that in fact, before she fell asleep, she had been deathly afraid that he would come to visit her, as he had done just now.

"Good evening, Sarah," the goblin king said. Realizing the position he was in - way too close to the wound up girl - he leaned back until he reached the foot of the bed, giving her space, watching her expressionlessly. Even his hair seemed to have calmed down a bit. "I'm sorry to have interrupted your sleep, especially if you were having a good dream," he said.

Sarah glanced at the clock. "Not exactly 'evening', is it?" she asked. "It's one o'clock in the morning." Then she saw her window, and her jaw dropped. "You…"

Jareth followed her gaze to the shattered window. "Ah, yes, that," he said. "I was in a hurry, and didn't think you were going to open, in any case."

She slowly turned her eyes back to him. She felt the anger stir inside her, but she was still in too much of a shock to do much more than say slowly, "When a door or a window is locked, Jareth, it usually means you're not welcome. It's called privacy." Her breathing was gradually returning, and so was her capacity for anger.

He tilted his head. "I'll fix it on my way out," he offered. "Your parents don't have to know about it or spend a dime to fix it."

"That's – not – the – point," she said through gritted teeth. "It means, keep out. As in, don't come in and wake the owner up abruptly by shaking her as hard as you can."

He looked even more puzzled. "But I had to talk to you," he said. "And there isn't a much better time to talk than at night, unless you're okay with me appearing before you and your friends, and besides, I'm not sure that wouldn't be stretching the rules a bit, seeing as how they hadn't wished for me to be there…"

"So?" Sarah hissed.

Jareth merely looked at her. "So there wasn't any other choice for me, was there? I had to talk to you, this was the best time, and the only way through that window was to break it."

"You could have…" Sarah began icily, then stopped. She wondered why she was bothering with this. Why not just scream at him, throw something at him, then tell him to leave? As close as it came to a childish temper tantrum, she felt she had some right to do something like that this time.

Because she wasn't angry enough, she realized. She really wasn't angry enough with the goblin king to throw a hissy fit. Not to mention, she was getting the strangest feeling that, though his expression had not changed throughout their exchange, he was laughing at her, enjoying this immensely.

She sighed, the fight going out of her. "You could have knocked," she said half-heartedly.

The words, said so off-handedly, had a strange effect on the goblin king. His expression darkened slightly, and he glanced out the window, as if checking to see anything was there. "I'm not sure you would have heard me and woken up," he said.

"I didn't think you had any aversion to knocking loud enough for me wake up," Sarah said.

"If I had knocked that hard, the glass would have broken anyways -" The annoying gleam was back.

"Okay, stop." Sarah put her head down into her knees that she had unconsciously drawn close to her body, and took three deep breaths. Then she looked up. "Okay, forget about the window, just fix it before you go, and for god's sake…" Don't do it again next time, she very nearly said. But that would mean she was expecting him to come back, she realized. It would sound like she wanted him to come back.

Did she?

"…for god's sake, just tell me what you came barging through my window to talk about," Sarah finished feebly.

Amusement glinted in Jareth's eyes as the goblin king leaned forward a little, making the human girl nervous. "Can't you guess?" he said, almost teasingly.

Sarah looked at him flatly. All his words referring to 'the game' and her endless questions about what in the world was going on came to mind. Yes, she could guess. There would be no end to her guesses. There were endless things for them to discuss. "Enlighten me. Please. One in the morning is a hellish time to play the guessing game."

Jareth quirked his head in that unique way of his, looking interested and arrogant at the same time. "You didn't open my present," he said.

There was a respectful pause on Sarah's part. And then:

"I'm sorry?"

Instead of replying to her inane question, Jareth leaned towards the table, causing Sarah to draw back just a little. Throwing her a look, Jareth grabbed the red box that was sitting innocently on the table and sat back down into his original position. "My present," he said slowly, putting it down on the bed between them. "You didn't open it."

There was another pause.

"Your present," Sarah repeated slowly.

"I was hoping you would open it on your actual birthday," Jareth said almost ruefully, looking down at the box fondly. "But well, I suppose I can pretend it isn't belated, since I gave it to you on your birthday, and so technically you did get it on that day. But you didn't open it."

"You broke through my window to get into my room because I didn't open your present."

At that, his head came up, and he gave her a smile. "What other reason were you thinking of that I might invade your bedroom for, Sarah?" he asked pleasantly.

"I – " Feeling her cheeks begin to flame and not even sure why she was blushing, Sarah grabbed the box. "I'll open it now, then," she said ungraciously.

"Please do."

Knowing that the goblin king was laughing at her once again and wondering just when they had become bosom companions who shared jokes late at night, especially considering just the night before they, or at least she, had been ready to rip each other's throat out, Sarah frowned as the reached for the latch. She flipped it open. Then, hesitating only slightly, Sarah opened the lid with the kind of bravado saved for only the goblin king.

And immediately froze.

A low, delighted chuckle broke from Jareth at the sight of her stunned expression. The inside of the box was as elegant and beautiful as the outside, lined with velvet, and there were indents on the bottom of the box especially designed to hold perfectly round, fragile objects.

"No." Sarah's voice shook, and she didn't know why.

Clear and glistening in the moonlight, twelve crystal balls stared at her from the box, looking just like the one Sarah had first seen appear out of nowhere on the goblin king's fingertips that night.

"No?" Jareth enquired. He raised an eyebrow. "You don't like my gift, Sarah?"

Sarah raised her head. Her face was pale, even her lips white in the moonlight. She let the box fall from her hand, though it only fell onto the bed, barely making any noise. "No." Her eyes closed, her lips parted. She was breathing heavily. "I… I can't." Her breath caught in her throat and it was all she could not to choke. "I'm sorry."

She hardly knew why she said the last part; actually, she hardly knew why she was reacting that way. But seeing the crystals had brought instant panic to her system, and all she could see were the crystals from years ago, ones that had kept her in that ballroom – she shivered slightly, remembering her dream – ones that had turned into snakes, ones that called the Cleaners…

And, of course, the one that had promised to show her very own dreams, everything all she ever wanted, that had tempted her from the very beginning to the end, that represented giving up her baby brother for her dreams, abandoning the quest for Jareth.

All the crystals meant were either immediate danger, or continuous temptation. Coming from the goblin king himself, twelve of them were a bit too much for her to handle.

"Sarah." She felt the bed beneath her shift, and knew that he was moving. Her eyes flashed open quickly, only to find his own staring at from only inches away.

Having moved closer to the girl, Jareth slowly reached for one of the crystals in the box, not breaking eye contact, drawing her and hypnotizing her. He still felt her flinch as he lifted one of the crystals. He held her eyes, holding her there, not allowing her to break the stare and look down at what his hands were doing. "Sarah," he called again, softly, keeping her attention. He raised his hand slowly, the crystal for once lying still.

Helpless and trapped, Sarah could do nothing but watch, her body refusing to move, as Jareth turned it slowly for her to see, to be drawn in the mesmerizing glistening and reflections on the clear glass.

"It's a crystal, Sarah, and nothing more. No," he felt her draw back, and impulsively reached out with his other hand to calm her. "Listen," he whispered. "Look." He twirled it around his hand once in that supernatural way only he seemed to be able to manage. "It really is just a crystal," Jareth went on, relieved to see that the girl hadn't jumped off the bed in terror yet. "They aren't the same kind that I use. They're just…" he shrugged. "Crystal balls."

"And," he went on with a small smile, "if you turn it this way and look into it…" he did a more complicated juggle with the ball, and was pleased to see that she was as captivated by his actions as she had been back then. He looked into it, looked back up at Sarah. "You don't see anything," he finished, the smile still lingering on his lips.

Her huge eyes watched him. Her tongue wetted her lips, nervously. It took her several tries to speak. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," Jareth solemnly promised. Then he took Sarah's hand in his own, ignoring the small surprised noise she made, and gently placed the crystal in her hand. "I promise."

The crystal felt heavy in her hand. As Jareth let go of her hand, she almost slumped forward at the unexpected weight. With an effort, she brought it up close to look at it; she'd never really looked at one closely before.

Perfectly round, perfectly clear, shimmering even in the dim light, it was beautiful.

Sarah tore her gaze away from the crystal to the one who had given it to her. He gave her a smile that she had never seen before, though if she had seen him with Toby during those thirteen hours, she would have recognized the happiness in his eyes, almost childish in its simplicity and serenity. She found her voice with difficulty. "Thank you."

Jareth remained where he was, close to her. "Happy birthday, Sarah."

She looked down at it again. "What, er, what do I do with it?"

"Anything that you want," he told her. "You could display it, just look into it, keep it for memory's sake, although I would understand it if you didn't particularly want to remember them from two years ago." The last words were dry. "However, I have to confess… I was rather hoping you could learn to, well, manage them." To demonstrate what he meant, he picked another one up from the box, and used both his hands to juggle it, his movement fluid and expertly deceiving.

"You want me to learn to do that?"

He cast a sideways look at her. "It's going to take you some time to do 'that', I'm afraid," he said, rolling the ball around his hands in a even more complicated way before finally letting it come to rest in his palm. "But it's no magic, Sarah, merely practice." He glanced down at it once, then put it back. "The illusions help when doing magic," he admitted in a softer tone. "But it needs to be the right kind of crystal, and the right kind of wielder, for the magic to work. The rest is merely for show, and for concentration. When just focused on something like this, it's easier to take one's mind off things, clear the mind, all that stuff. Works for me, anyways. Might help you, too, when your mind is too full, and you just want to relax."

She looked up, and to his relief, a hint of a smile played at her lips. "So this is like therapy, then?"

"You might put it that way," Jareth responded in kind, grinning. He gave a mocking shake of the head. "Your little mind is just too full of thoughts and worries, I'm surprised it hasn't exploded yet. Perhaps this will help."

"Yeah, right," Sarah said. She lifted the hand that had the crystal, and experimentally tried to make it go around her hand, like Jareth had done so effortlessly. It only resulted in the crystal falling within the first second, with her fingers flailing to catch it and failing. "You mean drive me crazy with frustration."

"That would be fun to watch, as well," he agreed.

She picked it up and tried again a couple of times, with him watching with growing amusement. Finally she wrinkled her nose and put it down. "I don't think I'll try any more tonight," she said primly.

He laughed at her. After all the tension they had been through, despite the ease between them that was more than half pretended, he laughed. "Whatever suits you, Sarah."

She half-glared at him as she closed the box. Then she took a deep breath, and averted her eyes. "Thank you," she said. "It was – thoughtful of you. Provided this isn't going to jump out and strangle in my sleep anytime soon, of course."

"Such little faith," he answered humorously, but there was a hint of something else. Sarah did not catch it, too busy avoiding his eyes. He wondered if he should leave now. He was strangely reluctant to.

She glanced back at him. "But I still don't understand," she said quietly. "You said, in that letter… you said this would help me with our 'little game'. I still don't know what game you're talking about. I don't understand what's going on, or most of what you said to me last night."

Jareth held back a grimace. He probably should have left quickly, before the questions came. Ah, but it was too late now. He opted for mysterious, as he always did.

"I meant what I wrote," he answered, with a little shrug.

She did not let it go at that. Nor did he expect her to.

"I need clearer answers than that, please," she said. She schooled her voice to be reasonable, calm. She did not expect win against him at his own game if tempers were to flare again.

He shook his head slightly as he began to get off the bed, intending to at least get a little bit farther away from her, regretful that the companionable air they had shared, probably their first, was rapidly dissolving. "I'm sorry, Sarah," he said, and in many ways he truly was. "I'm sorry. I wish I could give you clearer answers, but – not here, not now. I'm sorry."

He began to swing his legs off the bed, then froze. A small hand was on his upper arm, stopping him.

"Please," she whispered. Her words were unsteady, shaky. "Don't- don't leave, not yet, please. I can't… I can't go through another minute of it, not knowing what the hell is going on in my own life. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what had happened before. Tell me…" she trailed off. "I have to know," she whispered the last words.

Sarah Williams never begs. She might throw temper tantrums, yell, scream, cry, but she never begs. If she wants to know something, she asks nicely, or makes the person tell you. But she never begs. And she's never before approached the goblin king first.

She's never before made physical contact voluntarily before. Jareth gave a small groan, though inside it was much louder. "I was hoping we wouldn't have this conversation yet." He closed his eyes.

Yet how could he leave, with her hand on his arm, her eyes and her voice asking him to stay?

"I have to know," Sarah repeated. She had been ignorant for the past two years of her life, never knowing for sure, always suspecting, always denying, never knowing. Now the key to the answers was sitting in front of her. She didn't want to live like that any more.

"It's too early for you to know –"

"I have to know," Sarah said, for the third time.

Jareth was defeated. There had been no chance of his winning from the beginning, he knew, not when she asked like that, looking like that, not when it was her. He sank back down.

"What would you like to know?"

Whew. That was the longest chapter yet.

I swear, I had every intention of finishing their conversation in this chapter, to finally address some of the questions... but then Sarah and Jareth had to go ahead and hold such a long conversation.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! There's more to come, I promise.

Thank you to all of those who read, and especially to those who took the time to review - I really appreciate them. As always, reviews for this chapter are welcome!