The Chapters of Life

Chapter Six: Why

Why, do you always do this to me?

Why, couldn't you just see through me?

How come, you act like this,

Like you just don't care at all -

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?

I can feel you near me, even though you're far away…

Avril Lavigne, Why.

The question was dizzy in its simplicity, astonishing in its complexity.

"What would you like to know?"

Sarah did not answer for a moment, her mind overflowing with all the questions she wanted to ask, all the answers she wanted to hear, all the truth she needed to know.

Then again, there ever really was only one question she truly needed to ask, one answer that would solve it all, one truth she needed to know.

"Tell me why," she said softly.

For once, he did not pretend to have misunderstood her. He sighed, and retreated back a little from the girl, leaving a bigger space between them, looking more tired than he had just seconds ago. He ran his hands through his hair.

"I can try," he finally said. He never had a choice. "I'll try my best to tell you."

Two years was enough time to have learned at least a little bit of patience. Instead of probing, Sarah waited, patiently.

"You already know why I couldn't come until now." His words were halting. "The rules that govern interactions between the fey and the humans can be restricting. As for why I came?" Jareth desperately wished he could look away from those eyes. This, he felt, would be so much easier if only he could be facing something else, pacing, or having a crystal ball in his hand to distract him. But he couldn't move himself any farther away from the girl, and rather suspected that she would greatly dislike the sight of a magical crystal in his hands.

He sighed again. There was no easy way of doing this, and the way she was looking at him wasn't helping. "Can't you really figure out why, Sarah?" Or are you going to make me say it?

She had certainly speculated. But she didn't know the truth, couldn'tknow for sure. "Tell me," she said, softly.

His fingers were positively ready to explode from the itch to wrap themselves around a crystal. "I…" A bead of sweat rolled down his temple, but he did not dare lift a finger to wipe it away, lest she see it and notice that his hand was shaking, that he was anything but completely composed. "I…"

Which way to take? Which path would be easier, safer – the easy truth, or the true, inner reason residing deep inside his heart? Which way would he take? Which choice could he make?

He never had a choice.

"I wanted to get to know you, Sarah Williams. More than that, I couldn't stay away from you for a moment. More than that, Sarah, I…" A shaky breath. "I need you."

He raised his eyes and met hers. She was completely still, only the slight paling of her face, the lips parted in astonishment, and the wide eyes telling him what he needed to know.

In one fluid motion, Jareth got up from the bed and then was kneeling down on the floor beside the bed, quite close to her, in a posture ironically close to a proposing mortal. "Don't shut me out of your life, not now, not again," he said, his head shaking in almost desperation. "I can wait. We can do whatever things that humans do when they're…courting. We can take things slowly. You can," he gulped, hating the next words he was about to say, but needing to force them out anyways, "You can see other humans if you wanted… Just…

"All I'm asking for is a chance, Sarah. A chance like any mortal around you would get. A chance to be with you."

Sarah had frozen. All through Jareth's confession and plea, her eyes had not left him, and she was frozen in place, unable to do anything other than watch him almost helplessly. At those words, she tried to stir herself, to remind herself that probably an answer was needed.

Her eyes glistened in the moonlight, tears threatening to fall. She hadn't been ready, not for this, then…

She buried her face. Took a couple of unsteady breaths. Looked up, with her cheeks wet. "How?" she asked, her voice quiet, fragile.

Again, he did not need any clarification. Slowly, painfully slowly, he lifted himself up from the floor, leaning on the bed, not standing up fully, not wanting to appear intimidating to the girl. He sat, much closer to her than he had been, their bodies inches away.

"Let me in your life," he said slowly, softly. Hesitating, he raised his hand, leaning towards her, his hand tentatively cupping her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. "Let me come to you, talk to you, be with you…"

I ask for so little…

Sarah sat, transfixed, by his words, by the touch of his hand upon her face, by the memories that suddenly flooded her mind, mixing with the present.

He leaned closer. "Let me know what I should do to court you, Sarah," he whispered.

The remnants of his breath, his sigh, reached Sarah, a cool sensation upon her forehead. Almost without thinking, she turned her head, leaning into his hand and closing her eyes, a single tear escaping from her long eyelashes.

His hand tightened, then he was pulling her towards him. Only a barely audible, startled gasp escaped from her lips before she was in his arms, burying her face on his shoulder, with his arms tight around her, holding her firmly to him.

He leaned his face into her hair, breathing in the scent, feeling her tremble in his arms. "Let me love you," he whispered against her skin.

Just fear me, love me, do as I say…

Caught between the present and the memories that had haunted her for two years, Sarah could only bury her face all the harder, leaning into him all the harder, falling all the harder.

"And I'll be yours," he promised.

And I will be your slave.

She felt the tears come. She let them. He held her, feeling her head on his shoulder, his own head leaning against hers, his eyes closed.

They sat like that for minutes, the human girl and the goblin king.

Finally, when the tears had abated, when she felt sure she could speak, Sarah hesitantly leaned back.

He let her go, every part of his body reluctant to, his mind knowing he had to. He couldn't push the girl, couldn't force her.

"Jareth." His name was tentative in her mouth.

He looked at her.

She closed her eyes. Fresh tears sprang, but this time she refused to let them come, wiping them away. "I…" she began, then shook her head. "I don't really know how. I – don't know how it's supposed to go, I don't know what I should answer…" She raised her eyes, and steeled herself. "I don't know how I feel."

He smiled for her, though he knew the words were, in a way, a rejection to his plea. "Then give me the chance to help you find out," the goblin king said. "Give me the chance to change your mind, willingly."

For rejection they may have been, but only temporary, and so very uncertain.

She opened her mouth, then closed it, something suddenly occurring to her. She spoke again, "I have just one question left."

Jareth stilled. He had a feeling that he knew what this question was, and cursed inside. "Yes?"

She looked into his mismatched eyes, and took a breath. "Why did you talk about games?" she asked softly. "You said that another game had begun, between us. Why?"

Again, Jareth wished that he had a crystal in his hands to calm himself. "I told you, Sarah," he said carefully. "There are many rules restricting interaction between the fey and the humans. I had no hand in setting these rules – they were set even before my time. They're even more restricting when it comes to personal relationships." His mouth twisted in a sardonic smile. "Too many disasters, I suppose, from relationships gone wrong in the past."

Sarah watched him closely. "What are they?"

Jareth ran his hand through his hair. She was going to kill him for this, he was sure, and braced himself. "I… can't tell you most of them, at least not exactly. There's a goddamn rule about the mortals not knowing what the rules themselves are about." He shook his head. "It's the fey's way of letting the mortals choose freely based only on their feelings, I'm told." His tone informed her that he did not believe it at all. "I'm not sure I'm not already stretching the rules a bit, telling you that there are rules."

Her expression did not tell him whether she was angry or agitated, and he was becoming uncomfortable. "What can you tell me?" she asked quietly.

Unable to help himself, Jareth finally gave in to his urge and took out a crystal from the box. He absent-mindedly juggled it, keeping it as simple as possible in order not to distract Sarah too much, immediately feeling his nerves calm at the familiar feel of the sphere in his hands. "I can tell you that time is running out," he said, looking up at her and finding that she was not in the least bit distracted, not looking at the crystal dancing in his hands, but rather at him. "There's a damned age limit, just like there was another one that prevented me from coming to you physically earlier. This one, however, I'm told, is because a human's body may not be able to take the strain if too old."

He let out a tight sigh. "I don't know. All I do know, and all I can tell you, is that at a certain time, that is, not before too much time has passed, under certain circumstances, you need to choose to be with me. I need to present to you the choice formally, and there's a lot of rubbish about you needing to have something of mine to show that we're together." He shook his head. "I don't want you to be worried too much about that yet. All that can be arranged fairly quickly. All I want you to do, right now, is seeing if we can do this."

"Do…"

He put down the crystal. "If we can be together," he said, quietly. "If we can… love each other. More than anything," his lips twitched a little, "If we can trust each other. You didn't sound so sure when we met last night whether you could even be sure I existed."

She looked down, flustered. "I don't think I'm still sure whether I can really know you," she confessed slowly.

"That's all right." She looked up. He was smiling, an easy grin, his composure back. "We've got time," he said. "Not too much time, perhaps, but we've got time, time enough to play this game of courting through. You can make your decisions later."

She exhaled, slowly. Then she offered him a small, uncertain smile as well. "Thank you," she said softly.

He flashed another smile before getting up. "Until later, then, Sarah Williams. You need to sleep."

"Coming from the fey who woke me up at 1 am," Sarah observed wryly as she glanced at the clock. It was half past three. "Crap." She closed her eyes and, suddenly exhausted, leaned back on the bed frame.

Jareth carelessly put the crystal back in place before putting the box on the floor. "I'll be expecting you to be marginally better by tomorrow night," he teased.

"Yeah. Right." Sarah's heart skipped a beat even as she firmly told it to be calm. Tomorrow night. He was coming back, then.

Jareth chuckled slightly as he bent closer to her. "Good night, then. Sweet dreams." His eyes glanced out the window as he said the last words.

Sarah shook her head, and thumped her head onto the pillow. She didn't really want to fall asleep with him there, and she didn't want to dream again, but sleep was threatening to overcome her. "I never would have guessed it's so complicated. All the stories of fey lovers in our world sounded simpler than that."

He glanced down at the human girl who was rapidly falling asleep with hooded eyes. "That's because they didn't go through this – the stories are never about those who wanted this, wanted what I want," he said quietly.

She opened one eye, tried to force herself to wake up at least for a moment, and failed. "And what is it that you want?" she murmured.

He leaned down until he could whisper into her ears. "I want to be with you," he said, barely audible, his soft voice pushing her even more towards sleep. "I want an eternity with you."

Straightening, he saw that she was asleep. After gazing at her for a few simple moments, Jareth turned around and walked to the window. His eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated for a moment, and the broken shards of glass flew back into the place before melting into each other, forming a window once more. He opened it, looked back at Sarah once, then went through it.

A white barn owl flew out from the house into the night sky. Another morning was coming.

I apologize for the wait!

As always, thank you for reading, and reviews are welcome!