Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own POTO... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: ErikRaoul slash. Raoul and Erik meet before the whole fiasco. This is what happens.
Warning(s): homosexuality (that's what slash is people)
Pairing(s): ErikRaoul
A/N: This story is ending next week. Wait for the sequel "More than Friends" (tentative title of the sequel) in the middle of February.
Story Note: No, you don't actually find out Erik's plan in this one. You'll see in the last chapter.
o.o.o.o
Imaginary Friends
Chapter 33 – Awkward
o.o.o.o
By: Lucifer Rosemaunt
o.o.o.o
Last time: Erik chases the girls and does something (what?) but after he finishes, he returns to Philippe and Raoul. Philippe and Erik fight because Erik's being really secretive about what he's done to Giry and co. and the fact that he's not used to people listening to his orders. Raoul wakes up but this time Philippe stops him from leaving the bed.
o.o.o
Good. Erik said pointedly. Listen to your brother and stay in bed.
Erik. Raoul sighed. I don't need multiple lectures. I think the one coming from Philippe right now is going to be bad enough as is.
Don't give that long suffering sigh. Erik said. If anyone deserves to do so, it's me. When did you stop listening to me?
Raoul shrugged. He'd just known that he had to leave the room. Nothing Erik could have said would have dissuaded him.
Philippe rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up fully. Yawning, he focused on his brother, who had to be better since he had just tried to leave the bed again. On the other hand, Raoul always left the bed when Philippe told him not to and especially when he wasn't completely well. He was torn between feeling relieved that Raoul was better or angry that Raoul apparently hadn't learned anything from his past experiences. He was just glad that he'd woken up in time to stop him.
Raoul looked at his brother and frowned. Philippe looked exhausted, and he knew it was all his fault. He was relieved to see him in general though. He just wished he could remember how he'd gotten there in the first place. The urge to stand up and look outside was still tugging at him, but he knew to ask Philippe of that now would be a bad idea. He would have to stay in bed until his brother was no longer angry with him.
Why don't you just ask him what happened? Erik asked.
Raoul opened his arms, giving Philippe his best contrite expression. He waited for Philippe to respond to his outstretched arms, wondering if his brother were indeed that angry.
Rolling his eyes, Philippe eventually gave in and leaned forward, pulling Raoul in a big hug, ignoring the pull on his side. The cold had been a blessing to begin with; he'd been too numb to really realize his body hurt, well, either it had been the cold or the adrenaline, but now though, his whole body felt stiff. He could ignore the pain though for the sake of hugging his brother.
"Do you know how worried we were?" Philippe breathed out, unwilling to release him just yet.
Raoul held on just as tight, the realization that so many things had gone wrong in the past few days finally setting in. He'd almost lost his brother, and then, he'd almost been lost to him. He didn't loosen his hold, but his brother's wording caught his attention. "We?"
Philippe pulled away to give him a stern glare. Erik was going to be a whole talk altogether. First thing's first, "We have some important topics to cover first, Raoul."
"But wait," Raoul grabbed his arm, tugging him closer.
Philippe glared and Raoul's voice was meek when he asked again, "We?"
Looking towards the door, Philippe answered, "Erik and I chased after you."
"And?" Raoul prompted. So, the ghost and Philippe had been working together, and the ghost had found him. What happened next?
Calm down, will you? Erik said. You're getting yourself excited.
"And he's currently in the room across the hall," Philippe finished.
Raoul's eyes widened. "Did he go…" he hesitated, "Did he go after Christine?"
Philippe studied Raoul. He was certain that question was not exactly how he would have thought to ask it. It wasn't vengeance Raoul was worried about; it was something else. Now, he really wanted to know what had happened at the opera house.
He nodded his head slowly before saying, "I don't know what he did with them." He was rather reluctant to mention the fact that there was a possibility that no one would ever be seeing them again. "I do know," he added, seeing Raoul looking at him raptly, "he was worried about your safety, about as worried as I was."
See. He wants to be with you. Erik said triumphantly.
Raoul was still doubtful.
"Now, for that talk." Philippe redirected their conversation.
Slumping back into the bed, Raoul pulled the blankets higher. He was mentally preparing himself for Philippe's lecture.
Philippe sighed, seeing the look of resignation on his brother's face. He didn't like lecturing his brother, but sometimes… sometimes, Raoul needed to be yelled at. Raoul needed to be reminded of things that Philippe thought were common sense.
"First off, no more leaving the bed before you're completely well."
Raoul pulled the blanket up higher to cover his mouth. He frowned. It wasn't like he left just for fun, and he would have defended himself if he had thought Philippe would care to hear his explanations.
"When you're ill," Philippe continued, "you need to get better first. You know that."
Raoul nodded immediately.
"Secondly, no more kidnappings."
Raoul sat up at that. He needed to defend himself in this respect, "It's not like I planned to be kidnapped."
"Yes, but there were definite ways they could have been prevented. An ounce of prevention, Raoul."
"… is worth a pound of cure," Raoul immediately finished. He'd heard that more times in his life than he'd like to admit. Honestly though, he didn't think he found trouble as easily as Philippe seemed to think. "But this time was different. I was cautious. What could I have changed?"
"Let's see," Philippe pretended to think, but he already had gone through all the ways things could have gone differently. "This last one could have been prevented if you had listened to what I had told you about staying home and recuperating. Or it could have been prevented by staying with Erik when we separated. Or it could have…"
"Okay. I understand what you're trying to say," Raoul crossed his arms pouting. It wasn't as though he hadn't thought about the things he could have done differently.
You weren't thinking about that. You've been thinking about our past, not what you would have done differently. Erik replied. Either way, you would have done exactly the same thing over again.
I don't think I would have tried to get the managers. Raoul retorted.
Erik scoffed. If you had thought them to be trapped, you would have manipulated the ghost again and gone after them.
Raoul didn't respond. He probably would have.
Philippe continued, "For the first one, you could have not gone off in the middle of the night into a strange carriage that had been sent by a disreputable Comte who had ousted you from your position as patron of the Opera house."
Raoul had wondered how Philippe was going to get mad at him for that particular kidnapping. "When you say it like that…" He pouted some more, paying special attention to the edge of the bed. His bit his lower lip in frustration. Yes. He had done a lot of rather unintelligent things in the past few days. He'd meant well though. He mumbled sullenly, "I didn't know he'd ousted me from being the patron."
We're not blaming you, Erik started.
"Raoul," Philippe sat on the edge of the bed to close the distance between them, to make Raoul recognize his presence. "None of this has been your fault. God knows that you didn't deserve any of it." He sighed when he saw that Raoul was still pouting. He'd gone about this the wrong way, but he couldn't help be mad at Raoul. His brother was a man already. He shouldn't be so trusting.
No. It should be that people should stop taking advantage of him. Philippe wanted his brother to remain exactly as he was. He didn't mind the trusting nature or the humility that seemed ingrained in his personality. "I'm not mad at you at all. I'm mad at the Comte, mad at Madame Giry and Christine. I'm mad at myself."
Raoul immediately looked up in disbelief, "None of this was your fault, brother."
Smiling bitterly, Philippe remembered those words in his head the first time he'd let his brother be kidnapped. His father had tried to convince him. No, it really was his fault. He didn't need to tell that to Raoul though. His brother would try to convince him otherwise. Instead, he said, "I've just been so worried that we wouldn't find you."
Smiling meekly, Raoul replied, "I was worried too, but I knew I had to keep my promise to get back home."
"Is that why you were out in the storm?" Philippe asked.
"I had escaped from…"
"Three women?" Philippe finished with a wry grin.
Raoul glared, "I was ill."
Philippe laughed regardless. "Yes. I'm sure you can keep saying that."
"I really was," Raoul insisted.
"I don't doubt you," Philippe replied, "But I don't know if anyone else will believe you."
Raoul gasped. "Who are you going to tell?"
Philippe grinned, "Our sisters should know of your well being."
"You wouldn't." Raoul shook his head firmly. Philippe could only smile at his reaction.
"We are going to have to introduce Erik eventually."
Raoul's mouth dropped open as he stared at Philippe. For a moment, Raoul thought he had meant Erik, his friend, and not Erik, the ghost, but he quickly realized what he meant. Searching for any hint of jest and finding none, he eloquently inquired, "What?"
"Erik is going to be staying with us."
He offered, remember? Erik asked.
I didn't think he'd actually agree. Do you think he agreed? Raoul asked in a rush.
The opera house did burn down. I don't really see any other place for him to go.
I doubt it actually reached his home. Raoul replied, There're too many stone passageways for a fire to reach that deep into the ground.
That's actually true. Erik said, the surprise evident in his voice.
Why are you surprised?
That was actually well thought out. Erik laughed.
"Raoul?" Philippe asked, "Did you hear me?"
Raoul nodded automatically. "You said the ghost was going to stay with us."
Philippe frowned. He was afraid that Raoul would never remember exactly who Erik was. That would make things so much more complicated. "Not the ghost. He's Erik, remember?"
"Yes," Raoul quickly amended, "Erik. He's going to be staying with us. Did he say yes?"
"He isn't just the opera ghost," Philippe reiterated. He needed Raoul to realize that Erik still remembered their past even if he didn't. If Raoul only thought of the man as the ghost then it would only make things so much more difficult when they were living together. It was important for Raoul to realize what he was doing to the poor man.
"I get it, Philippe. He's Erik."
Why does he keep saying that? Raoul asked Erik.
Raoul. He replied. He doesn't realize you do remember.
What?
You remember. That didn't happen until you were with this last set of kidnappers.
Haha. Raoul sarcastically replied to the taunt before realization dawned on him. He quickly said before Philippe could continue to reiterate himself, "Philippe. I really remember."
His brother paused. "You remember the first time you were kidnapped. You remember Erik."
"I remember the carnival and I remember meeting Erik. Yes. The memories are there," Raoul amended, "At least mostly there I think."
Philippe relaxed. That was one problem down. "Then you know that he'd want to stay with us."
Raoul's brows furrowed. "What does that have anything to do with him wanting to stay with us?" If anything, he mentally added, that would be the reason he wouldn't want to stay with us.
I've been trying to tell you that it's not like that. Erik said. Stop feeling guilty because there's no reason for you to feel so.
"What?" Philippe asked this time around. If Raoul remembered, then it should have been clear that Erik cared for him, perhaps more than Philippe would like. And if his brother was still blind to that fact, then after what they'd been through together, it should have been at least a little more obvious that Erik's main goal was to stay with Raoul. That was undeniable.
"What about Christine?" Raoul asked.
"What about her?" Philippe was quick to ask back. He could only hope that she was alive. Or did Raoul really have an interest in her? That would make things even more difficult if it turned out that Erik had in fact killed her. It would create a rift that would be near impossible to overcome. Raoul hadn't really mentioned her though before. He couldn't have any interest in her; Philippe was certain Raoul would have told him.
"She. He. You see…" Raoul stumbled, trying to explain why Erik couldn't possibly want to stay with them. He couldn't explain why Erik probably hated him.
"Wait," Philippe stopped him before he could stutter some more. He saw how agitated his brother was about her and placed his hand on his shoulder in hopes to calm him down. "Raoul. Why don't you tell me everything that's happened from the beginning, from the moment when I received the note that you were missing, the first time."
o.o.o
Once Philippe had made certain he entered his own room. Erik stoked the fire and quickly disrobed to warm up. Making sure all his limbs were still functional, he stood by the fire trying to figure out what to do. He'd have to wait; that was certain. Philippe had every right to request speaking to Raoul first. It was his brother after all, but what if he only wanted to speak with him in order to dissuade Raoul from accepting him into the house? What if he told Raoul to stay away from him? Or if he slandered him? His own mind retorted. Slander how? By saying he was a murderer, that he terrorized that opera house, that he was irresponsible? Raoul already knew all those things.
He'd ruined his own chance at being with Raoul by living the life he did. If only he hadn't killed those people. If only he hadn't stayed in the opera house and demanded money. If only.
Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead against the mantle. Staying with Raoul was one thing; getting him to accept him was another. And what did he expect anyway? Raoul didn't remember him. Admittedly, that was contestable. Raoul had said his name three times. The first time, he was certain had been… Erik didn't know what that had been. All he knew was that Raoul hadn't shown any sign of recognition after that night.
Then, there was the catwalk. Raoul had called his name then, too. He could almost swear that Raoul had recognized him then, but he knew he was simply confusing a familiar expression with recognition. If Raoul remembered him then, he wouldn't have sent him away to save Christine.
This last time though. Erik was almost certain that had been recognition.
What would he do if Raoul did remember him? Erik didn't know. It should be easier, right, to get closer? He wanted to know everything about Raoul's past. He wanted to know everything that made him smile or frown. He wanted to be able to touch him. A hug. A caress. A kiss. And for the first time since he'd thought of Raoul as more of a man than a boy, he admitted to himself. He wanted them to be lovers.
That word didn't sit well with him. Lovers was so romanticized. Could he ever have someone's love?
Raoul loved him though, right? As a child, he'd given his trust and his very life so easily to him. They were married after all.
Erik shook his head from that thought. He couldn't go from being just the opera ghost to husband in the span of a few days. Taking the extra clothes that had been given to them, he dressed. He wanted to be ready for when Raoul would wake up. He could think about what to say and what to do later.
Right now, he just wanted to know how he was doing. Unfortunately, there had been no news. Erik had sat by the fire, flexing his feet and wringing his hands. He was finally warmer, but the uneasy energy building within him made him want to go back into the storm simply to calm himself down. He kept the door slightly ajar so that he could see the door to Philippe's room. There had been no motion.
It wasn't until the next morning when they had been informed that the storm had been so bad that they were liable to be snowed in for the day. Philippe and he had met eyes. Philippe shook his head just a fraction. Raoul wasn't awake yet.
Hours later, he'd been unable to sleep. He was pacing and realized rather belatedly that he should have told Philippe what had happened with Giry and the girls. It had not been a part of his original plan, but now that he thought about it, if he were to enlist Philippe's help, then the plan would only turn out better.
It was so obvious now; he wondered how he had not thought of it sooner. But, having to actually view someone as an ally, rather, as an equal was a little difficult. That was what Philippe was though, wasn't it? They were equals. Philippe certainly treated him as one; he never looked down on him and even trusted him enough to entrust Raoul into his care. And what had he done? He allowed Raoul to be kidnapped again. And even then, Philippe hadn't blamed him. He hadn't gotten angry. Then again, Philippe had also known what kind of look Raoul had given him.
He needed to tell him what had happened and of his plan, and if it gave him the opportunity to look in on Raoul as well, then that was simply an added bonus.
Stepping out into the hallway, Erik raised his hand to knock when he heard voices. His hand frozen in midair, Erik only hesitated a moment before leaning his head on the door, pressing his ear against the cold wood to hear what he knew to be Raoul's voice.
Erik closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Raul was awake. Raoul sounded alright.
He knew that he should leave them to their conversation, but he couldn't convince his body the same fact. Just the sound of Raoul's voice was enough to soothe that nervous energy he'd been feeling. After so long, there was no way that he was going to walk away.
So, Erik stood there with his ear pressed to the door in the empty hallway, listening as Raoul recounted the story of their first meeting, how Erik's voice had triggered a memory that he hadn't been able to reach.
Raoul recalled the morning after and his run-in with the maid, and Erik found himself smiling. Already, he felt like he was getting to know Raoul more. He was able to be a little closer to the blonde and even if there was a door and a brother separating them, he hadn't felt this happy in a long while. He remembered this feeling from all those years ago. He remembered the longing to keep this boy with him and how it felt to have that trust, that open look and animated voice.
He could have all this. He could. Philippe was offering his home. Raoul… Erik could only hope that Raoul would be able to accept him as well, if not as a lover, than as anything Raoul saw fit as long as they were together. After everything he'd done. After everything that had been said between them and everything that he'd failed to do, he could only hope he could make Raoul see that he was better than the murderer he'd been, better than the ghost he'd been forced to become in Raoul's absence.
Erik listened, greedily capturing every word, every sheepish laugh, every sigh, every thought that Raoul spoke.
He listened as Raoul talked about the torture that Meg and Christine had put him through because he'd lied and said that he had a fiancé. Philippe even laughed at that. Erik could just imagine Raoul's sour expression.
Then, he spoke of walking through the tunnels and how he'd fallen into the lake. Erik held his breath, hearing how Raoul had almost died and it had only been sheer willpower that had brought him to shore. Erik knew he hadn't helped by almost choking him to death. Raoul even went so far as to extol his abilities as an artist. Philippe added a surprised, hm, to that comment. Erik hadn't felt more proud of his abilities than at that moment. Moreover, he was relieved when Raoul didn't mention anything about the kiss Erik had stolen that night. It was good to know that that remained a secret.
When Raoul reached their last fight, Erik winced. He'd been stupid, allowing the rumours that Carlotta had spread actually affect his opinion. He'd let his stubbornness prevent him from seeing the truth of the managers, of Carlotta, of the Comte de Montmartre. He could have prevented all of this if he'd only been paying a little more attention to his Raoul. It should have been obvious. He should have listened when Raoul said there'd been no other woman. He should have known Raoul wouldn't lie to him, though he couldn't help but be pleased that Raoul could lie to Christine and for his sake, too.
His demands had been unreasonable, but he was glad nonetheless that he'd given them. Maybe it would have prevented the whole misunderstanding about his lady love, but then he would have had to deal with Christine falling for the blonde. It was obvious that she would have. How could she not have?
He listened raptly when Raoul recounted what had happened in the mausoleum. He could just imagine Raoul slamming against the door of the mausoleum, bruising his shoulders, remembering the sound from outside. He wished he'd been conscious for the care Raoul had taken with his face and his injuries. His body warmed at the thought of what it felt like to be in Raoul's arms. As embarrassing and weak of him it had been at the time, Erik was glad it had happened. He was just as glad that Raoul failed to mention what had happened with the apple. He doubted Philippe needed to know that particular event.
When Raoul started to talk about how he had been kidnapped the second time by Giry, Erik paused to wonder if his current plan was actually the best. It would work. He knew that for certain now, but maybe he should have gone ahead and killed them as he had first planned. He definitely wanted to kill them again. They had no right to keep Raoul from him, and they wouldn't have the chance to do so again – if he ever got to speak with Raoul, that was.
o.o.o
Philippe listened to Raoul's story, not once interrupting him. Had Raoul tried to tell him of what had happened earlier, he honestly couldn't say he would've believed him immediately. It had been one incredible journey and he wanted to hear Erik's side of what had happened. For all the determination that Erik was showing now, Philippe just couldn't imagine him just depositing him back home after saving his life or simply leading him out of the tunnels. Erik knew this was Raoul. There was simply no way that he hadn't noticed. Something had happened, but for now, while that remained a mystery, Philippe focused on Raoul right.
He could almost see why Raoul was worried about Christine. He smirked. Raoul didn't love her. Philippe wasn't sure that his brother recognized why he was so worried himself; Raoul simply thought Erik and Christine were involved. In fact, Raoul's near death experience in the passageways of the opera house only reinforced Philippe's belief that he'd have to watch the two closely when they were living together. It wasn't his job to keep Raoul single, but at least he knew now that the ghost's advances would not be wholly denied. A spurned opera ghost would have certainly been quite a thing to witness. Philippe really didn't want to think about that though.
It was apparent however, that they needed each other. Philippe had never seen Raoul so… alive. He'd been like this as a child. Sometime when he'd been growing up though, he'd stopped smiling as much, stopped talking, stopped enjoying life. It was like he had just stopped living. He dealt with his peers and the business that Philippe sent his way, but everything had seemed rather lackluster. He had seemed to be just a shadow of who he'd once been.
Philippe didn't know if it was because Raoul finally remembered his past or because that past found him, but something had changed and as much as Philippe would like to deny it, it was a change for the better. Erik was the crux of the change regardless, and the man meant well. Philippe would let life take its course. He couldn't stand in the way even if he wanted to. He was sure a force, whether it was Erik himself, would find a way to bring these two back together. After all, fifteen years apart and their lives are suddenly entwined again? It had to be fate. He could just make it a little harder for them in order to keep Raoul with him a little longer. He knew well that whatever was happening between them was already out of his control.
Raoul still looked worried though, so Philippe sought to make him understand his own doubts.
"So what about Christine?" He prompted.
Raoul bit his bottom lip before bursting out, "Don't you see? I've ruined everything for him. He made a new life at the opera house, made a new life with Christine that I completely ruined."
Philippe's eyes widened a bit at that. He didn't know the extent to which Raoul blamed himself. He had thought that Raoul was only jealous, thinking that Christine meant more to Erik than he did. He hadn't realized that Raoul blamed himself for ruining Erik's entire life.
Something akin to thunder sounded before the door splintered open. Both Philippe and Raoul started at the noise. Erik followed the opening door and said, "That's not what happened."
Philippe looked from Erik to the door frame that was undoubtedly broken. He should have known to leave the door unlocked; Erik's arrival wasn't even that surprising. He hadn't expected Erik to be a patient man, and the only surprise was that he'd waited this long to make himself known. At least it showed that Erik had been trying to hold himself back. Well, perhaps it wasn't the only surprise because he definitely hadn't expected to have to pay for a damaged door.
Sighing, Philippe glanced at his brother to see Raoul's eyes wide with surprise and confusion. Patting him on the head, Philippe stood up and motioned for Erik to enter the room fully.
Erik tore his eyes away from Raoul and stared at the door still in his hands. He'd broken the lock. Part of the doorjamb lay on the floor in the room. He hadn't been thinking when he'd opened the door. He only knew that he'd needed to assuage Raoul's fears. There'd been so many misunderstandings between them already that he didn't want this particular one to continue to be a problem. Christine could never be a problem. He tried to close the door at Philippe's request, but it only kept popping open.
Philippe sighed again and shook his head. "How about we take this to your room?" He asked.
Raoul was about to push the blankets down when Philippe stopped him with a glare.
"How do expect me to move?" Raoul asked pointedly.
"You need to stay warm. Don't move," Philippe ordered. The room was already losing warmth because of the open door; the temperature in the room had dropped a few degrees. Philippe pulled on his coat and cloak and picked up the rest of Raoul's clothes from the bottom of the bed.
Philippe looked between Raoul and Erik. They were avoiding each other's eyes while still trying to observe each other. Philippe rolled his eyes. This was going to be painful, having them in the same house together. He could just imagine. He was already feeling uncomfortable just being in the same room as them. Erik cared and Raoul was, well, from the way he spoke of the ghost with a mix of longing, admiration, and guilt, Philippe could only assume that Raoul was well on his way to being a bachelor all his life. Torn between keeping them tentative around each other for his sake and making all their lives less miserable, Philippe made up his mind.
"Erik," he said. "I'll get Raoul's clothes. You get Raoul."
Erik's eyes widened.
"What?" He and Raoul said at the same time.
"I don't want him to walk on the cold floor. Just bring the blankets and all," Philippe said as he walked across the hall and into Erik's room, wondering if he was doing the right thing. He turned the bed before stoking the fire waiting for them to appear. When they arrived and Raoul was being carried bridal style with a frown marring his features, Philippe could only hide his grin. They both looked incredibly uncomfortable and he could swear that they were blushing. That sight alone was almost enough to assuage his fears regarding the two of them. That was what Raoul deserved for thinking of leaving the bed.
Raoul couldn't believe that Philippe was doing this to him. This was humiliating. His arms were tight around the ghost's neck regardless. Erik was laughing rather loudly in his head about brothers who always knew best.
Erik placed Raoul gently on the bed before retreating to stand across the room. Raoul had been entirely too close and he could almost swear that this was another one of Philippe's tests, one he certainly didn't want to fail. He made sure to keep his distance though he wanted to stay close.
Raoul couldn't get his heart to slow down. What was Philippe thinking humiliating him like that?
I think he was thinking that you should get over your guilt. Erik retorted. He carried you without questioning it. He burst into the room to tell you you were wrong about ruining his new life.
That doesn't mean anything. Raoul stayed firm in his belief.
Erik scoffed. I'd say that it means a lot. I'd say that it means that Erik wants to be here. He wants us to be safe. Don't you remember what he said when the stage was on fire? Erik said it just as the ghost had. "Why don't you understand I need you to be safe?"
Raoul shuddered. He remembered the intensity with which the ghost had said those words. He remembered their proximity.
Philippe saw Raoul shiver and sent Erik a look. Erik had seen it too and took that look as a cue to fix the blankets so that they were more snugly around Raoul. The blonde refused to look at him though, and he took that as an indication to walk back across the room.
Erik sighed. He wants to be with us. You want him to be with us, don't you?
Once the ghost moved away, Raoul released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He thought about Erik's question for a moment. He remembered his past and remembered what Erik had meant to him. What did that translate to now though? What was Erik to him now? A friend, an ally? They had been enemies mere nights ago. Then again, they'd been fighting about something neither of them had had control over.
Well? Erik asked.
I don't know. Raoul admitted.
Erik accepted that answer as truth, but he refused to let Raoul just leave it at that. They needed to resolve their problems now before they lost their chance. What do you feel around him?
Raoul's answer was immediate. Guilty.
Scoffing, Erik said, Besides that.
He thought harder about the ghost, when he showed up earlier, when he'd pulled him up from the catwalk. Safe.
And if he weren't around? Erik asked. When Raoul didn't answer for long moments, Erik asked again. What if I weren't around, Raoul?
I'd feel lost. Raoul declared. But he's not you, remember? Before Erik could answer, he continued, I think I want him close though. I want him around, but I still don't know what that leaves us as.
Raoul could feel Erik's happiness at the words. Maybe you can start over with him. Start at the very beginning and figure it out together.
Philippe looked between his brother and Erik. He'd been willing to leave so that they could speak, but they weren't speaking. They were barely looking at each other. Well, at least, Raoul was off in his own head, thinking God only knew what, and Erik was just watching him whenever he thought Philippe wasn't looking. He wasn't doing a very good job since Philippe never looked away. Neither of them looked willing to break the silence.
Philippe wondered if they were doing this intentionally, just to torture him. Did he really have to do everything for them?
He waited several more minutes before clearing his throat. Both of them looked at him. "Did you want to say anything?" He looked at Erik.
Erik glanced at Raoul and kept his features neutral. He had no idea what he wanted to say to him. He hadn't been able to think of anything to say. He just wanted to be with Raoul, nothing else, but he couldn't just blurt that aloud, definitely not with Philippe in the same room. He'd had that awkward conversation already. No need to have it a second time.
He'd been watching Raoul and that expression he knew so well already. If he weren't thinking about a ladylove, then what was he thinking about? What if he was thinking about someone else? What if Raoul only made that expression when he was going to lie about something? But no, that was absurd. He could tell what Raoul looked like when he was lying now. It couldn't be that. But the boy did look nervous. He looked uncomfortable, and Erik knew it was all his fault.
And now he was here, given the chance to voice his desires yet unable to do it. He couldn't get the words out because just like when Raoul was around, it evoked emotions he was unaccustomed to. He actually felt tentative. He was actually worried about what Raoul was feeling, what he wanted. He wasn't here to simply take Raoul away. No, he needed his approval, and so far, he thought he'd accomplished much by getting Philippe's approval. He didn't know it would be so much harder actually confronting Raoul.
How does one do this? Leaving oneself so vulnerable to another person? Erik wasn't sure he could do it.
"About Christine." Philippe prompted when Erik and Raoul went into another staring bout.
"Oh," Erik looked away. That was an easier subject to talk about. "You didn't ruin anything between Christine and me," he stated firmly. He just couldn't seem to meet Raoul's eyes as he said them. He didn't want to admit that he'd so easily let her go when Raoul came along. He knew that if he showed how much Raoul meant to him, he'd scare him off.
Raoul looked down at his hands.
See, Erik said.
I don't think he meant it, Raoul replied.
Are you joking? Erik said incredulously. The man literally said you did nothing wrong. How can you not believe him?
He's probably just feeling sorry for me.
Erik let out a yell of frustration that made Raoul wince.
Mistaking the wince for Raoul further misunderstanding his words, Philippe prompted again, "So you and Mademoiselle Daae have a relationship?"
Erik's head shot up, as did Raoul's. "What? No. She was my pupil. She never became more. After all, she no longer needs nor wants me."
Raoul looked at Erik in disbelief. Christine didn't need or want him? That didn't make any sense to him. How could she not? She talked about her angel constantly.
She did say that her angel and father were looking over her now. Erik reminded him. Before you made her stop talking of course.
Raoul finally smiled then. It was tentative and barely there, but Erik could easily see it, see that he had been the cause of it. That gave him confidence. It gave him hope that they would somehow be able to work through this, and not just this but through all their problems. They'd have a future together, but before he could rejoice, he remembered one important fact. His plan was not done just yet. The girls were still one problem they'd have to overcome, and if Raoul was feeling better, then the sooner they finished his plan, the more time they'd have to explore whatever could be between them. But this was something he was more familiar with. He knew how to deal with this type of problem.
Erik turned to Philippe and said, "We need to stage another type of kidnapping."
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End Chapter 33
Word count: 6,231
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A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
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Chapter review: I lol'd at Erik breaking down the door. I bet you he really didn't even realize it until Philippe gave him that look. Everything is resolved in the next and final chapter.