It was over. No more deciding or mental debates. My mind was made up.
After Jeb had left, I'd wondered why the world was still spinning. The world was still exactly the same as it had been while we were safe and happy. It was weird that the sun was even shining. I felt pretty much the same way right now. When I knew that I was going to do something as huge as what I'd just decided, it was odd that everything was still the same.
The next morning, Fang seemed – well, not happy, but as close as Fang gets to it. I felt weird, like I was removed from my old life. Worse, around Fang I felt like an impostor. The flock was in pretty good spirits that morning, and it almost cracked a smile on my face. I knew that Gazzy and Iggy were up to something, because for twenty minutes that day they were off in a corner of the site by themselves, muttering about something. I caught a few words of "But what about the ammonia? What the…" and then the Gasman remembered to lower his voice. Half of my mouth quirked up in a small smile worthy of Fang. Why hadn't I savored every second of being with my family? That was a stupid move.
"So, I've been thinking," I said to Fang, after everything looked just the same as before we'd arrived last night.
He glanced at me. "What?"
"What do you say we just stay in a cave for a couple of days? You know…just as a sort of temporary home. For a little."
You know, you're just trying to get away from what you have to do, Jeb chipped in.
I ignored him. We weren't exactly on good speaking terms, you could say.
Max…since you've made your recent decision…I changed my mind. You're capable of making good decisions. But do it now, while you still have the resolve.
"Yeah…that sounds good," Fang was saying, as I shook myself out of my reverie. He grinned. "So, are you saying that you want to find a permanent home? Like I said, oh, a few months ago?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Rub it in, wiseass."
"I'm hurt."
"You should be." I turned away from his smug face and called to everyone else, "Guys, U and A! Let's go!"
"Alright!" cried Total, jumping into my arms. "Let's go supersonic, okay?"
"Uh, let's not," I contradicted him as I took a running start and arced into the air, smooth as poetry.
So, I'm sure you're all wondering, "I thought she said she was tense? She's not acting very uptight." Um, no freaking duh. I'm a great actress, don't you think? I wasn't going to act worried in front of my flock. It was like my number one rule in the Handbook for Escaping Itex. If there was any such thing. I should write one.
Okay, getting off topic.
"So, Max," Iggy began thoughtfully, angling his left wing to tilt closer to me. "What made you decide on the whole 'we suddenly need a permanent home' thing? I thought you were all against that."
Oh, you know, nothing except for this super crazy voice inside my head that's trying to get me to kill my best friend.
"Well," I hesitated. What the heck was I supposed to tell him? The truth? I don't think so. "Being on the run is hard on everyone, I guess. You shouldn't have to go through any of it anymore."
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sick?"
"Shut up," I grumbled. He just laughed and flew up ahead to join Gazzy, who was chatting animatedly away to Nudge about some new book they were both reading. Something like Artemis Fowl?I don't know.
"Hey, Max, look!" Gazzy shouted. "Cave ahoy! That was fast, haven't we only been flying for like, twenty minutes?"
I shrugged and turned ten points west, towards where Gazzy was pointing. "Who cares? Let's go, guys!"
Max!
Max!
Both mental voices yelled in my head at the same time, Jeb and Angel's. My eyes zoomed in on Angel immediately. Her eyes were wide and scared, staring off into the distance. Quickly, I followed her gaze and cold dread dropped like a lead weight into my stomach.
A missile was headed our way, most likely heat guided. We were the only things this warm around here, especially in the air. I scanned the immediate area, looking for a means of escape. Trees? No. Cave? No good.
River?
Maybe…just maybe if it was cold enough…
I made one of my snap decisions and shouted, "Guys, into the river, now!" I tossed Total to Iggy, and the dog yelped indignantly before yelling as Iggy tucked his wings in and dove. Even Fang obeyed, getting away from the oncoming threat. As soon as I was sure that they wouldn't come back up, I took off – trying to lead the missile away.
I had to use every ounce of super speed I had in me – I hadn't realized just how fast that thing was. It was nearly right on my tail, and I'd never been as scared as I was right now. At least my plan had worked, right? It was away from my flock. At the very least, they would be safe.
You really need a better sense of self preservation, Max, Jeb reprimanded me.
Not the best time. And besides, who was my teacher again? I snapped, jerking to the left and down in an effort to throw off the bomb's aim. No such luck. It followed straight behind me, and I knew it wouldn't stop until it hit something – namely, me.
And then it hit me.
Got you. Not the missile – a pretty good idea.
There was a canyon to my left. If I could fly close enough to the canyon that I could get the bomb to hit that instead of me…maybe I could still get out of this mostly unscathed.
Well, better that than nothing. Here goes everything.
I tried to fly faster, pushing my limits. I must have been going three hundred miles an hour – that's the fastest I've ever gone. I sped towards the canyon, but the missile behind me was starting to gain ground, and I wasn't sure if this would even work.
The canyon loomed closer in my vision faster than I'd expected - an imposing wall of rock in my line of sight. I shot towards it like an arrow from a bow, and just when I was sure that I was going to splat on the face of the canyon, I flipped downwards and shot down. I was rewarded with a satisfying BOOM as the bomb hit the canyon, not able to steer away quickly enough.
Unfortunately, the side effect of my perfect plan was that since the bomb exploded, I was inevitably pounded with rocks. Ow. Why hadn't I thought of that?
I pulled out of the dive and tried to avoid all of the falling rocks unsuccessfully. I could already see bruises forming on my arms and could only imagine the damage done to my wings. I winced as another rock struck my back, halted in its path to the ground thousands of feet below.
It took awhile to get out of the destruction the bomb had caused, and even longer to find the flock again. I had flown miles and miles away, and it took awhile even flying with super speed. Needless to say, by the time I returned to my flock, they were pretty gosh danged worried.
"Max!" Nudge shouted, running to the mouth of the cave. "Max, what did you do?! We thought you were dead! I mean, I thought for sure that the bomb would have hit you and you would have died or something, but then Angel said that the world would feel different because you weren't in it, and I just didn't know if-"
"Nudge," I interrupted, "I'm back. It's okay."
Christ, this was going to make things harder for sure.
0o0o0o0o0o0
Today was absolutely the worst day for Fang to be able to read my mind. He knew something was up.
"Max?" he asked, after everyone but Iggy was asleep. My blind guy was steadily ignoring us and was humming under his breath in an effort to tune us out. I snorted. Iggy. What would I do if I lost him?
"Max," Fang repeated again. "What's wrong? Something's up, I can tell."
Now, said a voice in the back of my head (that was actually mine). Do it now – it's the perfect time. Yeah, sure – perfect time to shatter hearts.
"Well…" I started. "Actually. Yeah. Something IS up."
He waited. When I said nothing, he prompted, "So? What is it?"
"There was a reason I wanted to come to the cave," I said, looking at the ground rather than him. "Everything has been building up lately. I just…I don't know what to do." Silence. I was sure he was wondering where the heck I was going with this. I took a deep, shaky breath. "I feel like I'm drowning, Fang. I can't take this anymore! I thought I could, but obviously I was wrong. That bomb today just pushed me over the edge. They always find us, wherever we are. I can't stand this – we're always on the run, but it never helps. It just wears us down – wears me down. I just – I can't."
He grabbed my shoulders. "Max. Max, listen to me. You can do this; I know you can. Don't give up just yet. We've managed to survive so far, right?"
Tears welled up in my eyes and blurred my vision of the cave floor. I didn't want to do this, not at all. I hoped he passed them off as tears of desperation and not of regret. "That's just it. We're managing. We're not healthy. We're freaking starving!"
"Max, calm down. Listen to me."
This wasn't working. I had to layer more on.
I stood abruptly and finally looked at Fang. "No! I can't, Fang, don't you get this? I. Can't. I can't take this anymore! The running, the captivity, never having enough to eat, always needing more – I can't do this. Someone else is just going to have to save the world, because I'm going to go crazy if this keeps going on."
"Max?" I could hear Iggy say from my left. "What's going on? What are you doing?"
I didn't look at him, even though my mind was screaming for one last glance, one peek. I could only look at Fang. "I'm leaving," I said.
"NO!"
NO!
Fang and my second voice screamed at the same time, but I ignored them both.
"Max, you can't do this!" Fang shouted at me. "You can't just leave us here in the middle of nowhere. Is this why you've been so off the entire week? You've been planning this? Max, don't do it!"
Max, no! You must stay here, with the Flock.
So I can kill Fang? No, thanks.
"Just leave me alone, Fang!" I shouted back, tears making my voice crack. "You can't change my mind! I'm going to go crazy if I stay here!"
"Max, just wait-"
"NO!" I grabbed my bag, which was still fully packed. I had no food, but I wasn't thinking straight. I just had to get away from Fang, before I hurt him and the rest of the flock - more than I was about to. Me leaving was one thing – Fang dead was another entirely.
I jammed my bag onto my shoulders and whirled to face Fang. "Don't follow me," I snarled. "Any of you. If you want me to stay sane, you'll stay away. I don't want to have care of all of you. After all, weren't you the one who said that I could be a mother later, when I was older? I'm not meant to be a mother at fourteen to all of you!"
"Max, will you just-" He wasn't angry. He needed to be, to make this easier. He just looked desperate, and it nearly killed me. I hadn't seen that much emotion on his face ever. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe I could still stay here if it meant not having to hurt him. I could almost see the possibilities like a shining ray of light.
Suddenly, against my will, my body lurched forward towards Fang. He was standing not far from the entrance and exit of the cave. I could only watch in horror as my fist raised and connected with his nose before he could react. What the hell? I hadn't done that! Someone else was controlling me.
You have to kill Fang. You can't just leave! KILL him. Now! The voice lurched me forward again, in a last ditch attempt to murder my best friend.
I staggered to the left, without complete control of my legs. I narrowly missed Fang – my only sense of comfort. "Fang – I just have to do this," I said, without looking at him. I couldn't risk turning around to possibly hit him again. "I can't go through this."
"Max!" Iggy shouted. "Max, what are you doing?"
"Max?" asked Angel behind me. "Max, what's going on?"
"Max, Max, Max!" I shouted. "Stop it! You all are driving me crazy!" They had to hate me. Hate me enough so that they wouldn't look for me when I was gone. "Just shut up," I continued. "Shut. Up. All of you just leave me alone!" My voice rose to a yell on the last word, and I ran out of the cave and flung myself into the air.
I chanced one last glance as I flew away. They were all framed in the entry by the flickering firelight – Iggy, staring out with sightless eyes, Nudge, Angel, Gasman…and Fang. I could see the blood still streaming from his nose, and I could see that he was hurt beyond belief.
But alive. He was alive.
"Bye, guys," I whispered into the night. "See you never."
And with a twitch of a feather, I vanished at top speed into the growing night.
A/N: I'm sorry. Really. I am. It was a bad ending.
BUT THERE'S A SEQUEL! Yeah, I decided that. So this is officially complete! I'm so excited. ((Readers stare at FF5 in disbelief, wondering how she's so excited when Max has jut LEFT the flock))
Well…because the sequel is going to be freaking AWESOME, that's why!
Thanks to everyone who has supported me in this fic. It means a ton to me. Special thanks to all reviewers, especially melissaeverlasting, who would gently remind me when it had been a little long since I had updated. :-) I know there are LOTS of you who have been with me since the beginning of last June, so thanks for that too!
Since it's the last chapter (holy crap!), I'd really like for everyone who has me on alert to review. That would be amazing! It really only takes a little time, and it doesn't have to be long.
This concludes the final (and long) author's note! THANKS, ALL OF YOU! See you at the sequel! (Put me on alert!)
FantasyFan5