Chapter 7
The two boys finally reached home. Luckily, it was before the 12:00 p.m. weekend curfew, so they did not get in trouble. In fact, they arrived barely in time for lunch.
"Oh, there you are, you guys," Sharon acknowledged Stan and Kyle as they entered the house, "Have you two boys eaten lunch yet?"
"Yes, we have," Stan answered back, "But Mom, my head, back, and butt really hurt for some reason."
"Oddly enough, I hurt in those same places too, Mrs. Marsh," Kyle cut in.
"Oh... oh dear..." Sharon suddenly gasped dropping the giant ladle she was holding. she then wet to her husband, whispering something to him. When they finally stopped whispering, Randy went back to what he was originally doing. When Kyle was gone, Sharon walked up to Stan, saying to him, "Are you absolutely positive that you didn't tell anyone about your brand? Don't lie! Tell the truth!!"
"Honest, Mom!" Stan felt the guilt pile up, "I didn't tell anyone."
"That's awfully strange..." Sharon walked off, pondering. Stan could hear her think, If he is telling the truth, then those pains shouldn't be occurring to him. Is he... lying?
Uh oh, Stan foresaw that his mom would come for him, so he went straight to his room, where he found Kyle. As he entered the room, Kyle frantically threw up his arms, dropping a book.
"S-Stan!" Kyle laughed, "What a surprise!"
"What the hell were you doing right before I got in here, dude?" Stan eyed Kyle with confusion.
"Er... nothing!" Kyle rushed towards the book, quickly putting it in his adorned handbag, "Just doing some light reading!"
"Funny..." Stan was doubtful. He was about to reach into the handbag when he got a "mind-message" from his mother.
Stan, a visitor to see you at the door.
"Oh, sorry, Kyle," Stan lifted his hand from the bag, "My mom just told me through mind-speech that there is someone at the door.
Oh, good, Kyle thought.
"Why good?" Stan questioned.
"S-Stan!" Kyle was alarmed, "Are you... Are you somehow getting better at reading minds?"
"Did you not want me to peer into your heart?"
"Barely! I wasn't really thinking. But anyway, who is it?"
"I dunno... She never told me."
These were Stan's last words before he left Kyle alone.
"A visitor, huh?" Kyle contemplated, then his eyes grew wider with worry, "It... No! It can't be!!"
Kyle made his was to the Marsh's front door. To his horror, an unwelcome face stood just outside of it. At least he got there before Stan did.
"Cartman!" Kyle jumped, "What in the seven hells are you doing here?" Uh-oh... not good!!
"Oh, I just want to stay over at Stan's house. Can I?"
"Uh..." Kyle was only slightly better at coming up with ideas than Stan, however smart he was, "Stan is extremely sick right now, and-"
"Sick? Well, that doesn't surprise me," Cartman snorted, "Can't I see him, though?"
"You don't understand; he's so sick that it's contagious and could kill you," Kyle had spoken.
All right, maybe Kyle was more than a little better than his friend at making up excuses on the spot.
"Fine, I'll just leave," Cartman left the front door.
Damned good riddance, Kyle thought.
Much to his unwanted surprise, however, Stan was not rushing up to the door.
"Aw, did you send the visitor away?" Stan wailed.
"Yeah..." Kyle could still see Cartman, and rushed Stan in the house.
"Huh?" Stan squinted at the huge red mass in the distance, "Cartman? Cartman!"
"Oh," Cartman's hearing wasn't too shabby, and he barely heard the calling, "So you aren't as sick as Kyle says."
"Huh?" Stan cast a somewhat evil glance at Kyle, "Have you... Why?"
"Ah, well, whatever," Cartman shook off the subject, "Hey, Stan, did you know you're a B-"
Kyle punched Cartman's left cheek, leaving a cleanly-cut incision on it.
"Kyle, why did you do that?" Stan scolded.
"Uh... he was about to call you a 'bad boy'!" Kyle rushed to Cartman's side, giving him a spink on the head, "Stupid Cartman."
"What?" Cartman raised an eyebrow, "That's not-"
"Well, Stan has a lot of weekend homework, so don't disturb him!" Kyle quickly shut the door, panting somewhat.
"What on Earth was that for?" Stan wondered, "Cartman is our friend too, you know!"
"Friend?" Kyle retorted, "What good has that half-wit ever done for us?"
"Whatever. But Kyle, somehow I predict that he was going to say something other than 'bad boy'...."
"No, I'm almost absolutely sure of it."
"But I can hear the voice of the goddess, and you can't. So how can you predict something that I cannot?"
"Um... I dunno!" Kyle quickly lunged for his handbag, which was nearby, "Gotta run!"
Without another word, Kyle was no longer in the Marsh home.
"Damn," Stan snapped his fingers, "And it was almost time for lunch, too."
Just then, Sharon walked up to her son, saying to him, "It's you're favorite! General Tso's Chicken with shrimp friend rice! Hey, where's Kyle? I heard he loves Shrimp Lo Mein, so I ordered a medium-sized bowl, just for him..."
"He ran home."
"Well, what a shame. I''l just have it sent over when he comes over next time."
With that, Stan arrived at the dinner table to his favorite foods. Shrimp in lobster sauce, shrimp friend rice, and shrimp egg rolls were all among these. But his favorite dish of all was the General Tso's Chicken, which was in the middle of the table.
"Wow! Chinese food!" Stan stared in awe at the delicacies of that lunch.
"I did order extra for Kyle, but..." Sharon started, "Whatever. As I have said, I'll give it to him when he comes back."
At those words, the Marsh family said a quick grace and began to eat their lunch. In the middle of it all, Randy randomly asked, "So, uh, what did you and Kyle do at the mall, Stan?"
"Well," Stan spoke through a mouthful of chicken, "Kyle and I went to the bookstore, first thing. Ashera's voice told me that he was in the 'special needs' section, although I have no idea why. The book he was holding had a completely pink cover. What a girl!"
As Stan wolfed down more fried rice, Randy and Sharon were whispering to each other. When Stan leaned in to try and listen, Randy said, "Oh, it's nothing," and went back in his normal position to eat.
"Thanks for the food!" Stan left after the family said grace again, then quickly remembered something, "Oh, yeah. There's a football game tomorrow. Our varsity football team is going to play against our rival, the Middle Park Cowboys. Can I go?"
"THE MIDDLE PARK COWBOYS?!" Randy erupted from the table, "Dude, they're the most rigorous, rough high school football team in all of America! Not that the South Park Cows aren't close enough, but still! The Cowboys could be easily mistaken for an NFL professional team. Man, if I didn't have a thesis to write, I'd go. By all means, go, Stan! Get me some souvenirs if you can!"
"Wow, that just makes it that much more exciting!" Stan was hyped up, "Thanks, Dad!"
Stan ran into his room, imbued with energy. When he was gone, Sharon said to Randy, "Randy, are you sure about this? Something bad could happen... I know our boys are very good at football, but to go against Middle Park? I wouldn't be surprised if they got killed. Not that I would wish it..."
"Honey," Randy put his hands on his wife's shoulders, "That's just the nature of football. That's why there's the coach, team physician, and athletic trainer there, you know. Besides, Stan's not even playing."
"You're right," Sharon rose, walking to her bedroom.
Meanwhile, in Stan's room, he dialed Kyle's cell phone to remind him about the upcoming football game.
"Hey, Kyle."
"Hello... That you, Stan?"
"Yup. Hey, are you going to tomorrow's football game?"
"Tell me about it. I was just-"
"Huh? Just what?"
"Nothing! Anyhoo, I'll be there. You can count on it!"
Kyle then hung up.
Well, that's nice, Stan thought, It's nice to know that at least one of my friends is going. But I felt that he was exhausted... Is he finally tired from his extremely hard classes?
This was Stan's final thought before he let himself drift into sleep.
~The next morning~
"Crap!" Stan quickly woke up, completely unaware of the time, "Mom! Dad! I'm leaving now! May I borrow the car, Dad?"
"Huh?" Randy was still half-asleep, "Yeah, go ahead."
"Thanks. Gotta book it!"
Stan hurriedly left his house in his dad's mini-van.
Just then, Sharon woke up, groggily asking her husband, "Hey, where's Stan? Is he still asleep?"
"No," Randy was fully awake now, "He left for the football game in the car..."
"The car..." Sharon repeated, springing wide awake after having an epiphany.
"The car!" The married couple stared at each other in horror, "We left it in it! S***!"
"I guess our only hope is that he doesn't discover it..." Sharon worried.
"You're right..." Randy could only reply, "No sense in crying over spilt milk, right? Well, I'm gonna go write my thesis now."
~ Meanwhile, at South Park High School's Football Field...~
"All right!" The half-Japanese principal, Mr. Mayichi Balls, was to be the announcer of the game, "It's the moment you've all been waiting for, folks! The best high school football team in all of America, our rivals, the Middle Park Cowboys, versus our very own South Park Cows!
The whole crowd cheered in an uproar.
"Okay, folks," Principal Balls continued, "We're about to start the game. Coaches, shake hands... Now, one of the referees will flip the coin... Count down... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... PLAY BALL!"
At Principal Balls' call, the football was kicked in the air by a Cowboy. Throughout the remainder of the quarter, the ball danced across the field.
At present, the score was tied at 24. Stan loved football when he was a kid, and still loved to watch it. He rooted for the Cows whenever they made a touchdown.
The ball was kicked yet again by a Cow, but this time, it landed in the hands of a Cowboy in the middle of the field.
"Oh, no!" Principal Balls announced as some of the crowd members on the Cows' side were booing, "The Cowboys have the ball! They're going to make a- huh?"
Just as Principal Balls was about to say the word "touchdown", a Cow with the number "01" on his jersey seized the ball from the Cowboy's arms.
"Oh my goodness!" Principal Balls exclaimed, "Looks like there's still hope for our Cows!"
And rightfully so. For the #01 Cow bolted at breakneck speed for the Cows' touchdown line, scoring 6 points for his team.
"All right!" the principal shouted, "30-24! Cows in the lead! It's still anyone's game, though!"
Wow... Stan thought, Than #01 guy is sooo cool!
It was now the last five minutes of the last quarter. For the past three quarters, Stan fixated all of his attention on the #01 Cow player. If he was girl, he would have done a fangirl scream every time "Mr. #01" made a touchdown. But being a guy, he retained himself.
And it just so happened that #01 was bolting for the touchdown line. But now, the most gruff-looking Cowboy was on his tail, and all the other players were lagging behind.
"#01 is about to make a touchdown! But wait, #13 of the Cowboys is right behind him-"
the #13 of the Cowboys tackled #01 of the Cows hard in the back. Right before his touchdown line, #01 took a harsh tumble, landing with a huge thud on the grass.
When the referees blowed their whistles, the coach called out to #01, tapping him on the shoulder, "Hey, man, are you okay?"
The whole crowd gasped when the football player did not respond. The coach then beckoned the athletic trainer and team physician to come over. When they noticed no signs of life, the athletic trainer said, "I'll call 9-1-1."
"Good idea," noted the team physician, "In the meantime, let's roll him over and-"
But when the team physician put #01 on his back, he noticed that there was a huge, hemorrhaging laceration on his chest.
"Oh... oh no..." the coach gasped.
"Get a huge thread and needle," the team physician ordered, "Ms. Knives, get the Trainer's Angel to cut the mask so we can give him rescue breaths when necessary."
"Right," Athletic trainer Ms. Knives, who just finished calling 9-1-1, did as she was told. Using the Trainer's Angel, she cut off #01 face mask, lifting it off. Stan squinted at the face, and upon seeing who it was, he was appalled.
"K-K-Kyle?" Stan's heart was hammering, "It... NO, IT CAN'T BE!!"
In desperate action, Stan ran to the place where Kyle lay unconscious, despite what the outfield told him.
"Hey!" The coach yelled at Stan, "You can't come in here! There's blood everywhere!"
Two buff, beefy football players at least one foot bigger than Stan seized him.
"Unhand me!" Stan teared up, "My best friend... My best friend is d-dying right b-before my eyes!"
"Young man, I understand your predicament, but-" the coach frowned.
"No!" Stan's sweet tears rolled down his cheeks in liters, "Nobody understands! He's... he's... There is no person in the world as dear to me as him!"
At that moment, Ashera's voice sounded in Stan's head, Stanley... I... I have been waiting for a while to do this, but I will grant you a new hidden power.
Power? Stan quivered, What is it?
You'll see.
Ashera's voice went away. As it did, Stan felt a renewing energy brew within himself, strengthening him to the point where he easily shook off the football players restraining him before.
"What the-" Ms. Knives was astounded as Stan easily shoved her, the coach, and the team physician out of the way.
"Kyle!" Stan cried, shaking the unconscious Jew, "Kyle, open your eyes..."
"Boy!" The team physician screamed, "Get away! You're making it worse!"
The two football players from earlier, the coach, the team physician, and Ms. Knives all charged at Stan and Kyle. But when they did, they got heavily pushed back in an invisible force.
"No one..." Stan spoke through gritted teeth, "...will get between my friendship with Kyle!!"
Stan then drew out the power that had been building up from within him. It became a baby blue light, and Stan moved it over Kyle's wound. It took a while, but the laceration fully healed, as if nothing.
"Ugh..." Kyle's consciousness quickly returned, "What's going on? Why is there an ambulance here?"
"How... How is it possible?!" Ms. Knives was in shock.
"Stan!" Kyle noticed Stan kneeling on the ground, "Are you okay?"
"Uh..." Stan was about to slip into unconsciousness, "I'm... I'm gonna..."
"Stan? Stan!!" Kyle tried to wake Stan from his unconscious state, "EMS! He's right here!"
The last thing Stan saw before seeing black was Kyle and EMTs coming to put him in a stretcher.